I have a new intention to promote my healing – helped along, it seems, by all the experiences I’ve posted about in the last few days and the support I’ve experienced from you all.

I believe this plan is better thought-through than previous intentions – though I’m aware of one major weakness, for which I’ll welcome suggestions and thoughts.

First, I plan to make myself open to my inner wisdom in a mediation walk every day.  (I’ve never yet been consistent with intentions to sit still, so I’ll now go walking and get my exercise while I’m at it.)  How I’ll keep this intention, I’ll explain in the last part.

Second, I plan to keep a single journal – only one, not different ones and random sheets of paper, but one, to represent my unified mind, and to facilitate greater awareness and my alters coming together.

Third, I’ll do self-hypnotherapy or other inner exploration a couple/few times a week, sometimes with my partner’s assistance, and document it.

The fourth aspect – the part that will assure I don’t slack on the other three parts – is to end my isolation by posting my progress for an audience who will be expecting to hear from me.  I hope this will hold me to greater accountability than I’ve ever sustained before.  You’ll recognize – and I’ll recognize – if I’m not doing my work!

But the major flaw, I’m sure most of you will recognize, is the problem of reprogramming.  How do I assure that that doesn’t happen?  Especially when I post my progress.

A naive person would say that I’ll learn my command cues right away and thereafter be protected from them, but we know it’s not that easy.   There are multiple command cues, and each one comes with trauma that – it seems – must be remembered or experienced in some manner for the cue to be recognized.  To recognize all the cues at once would require experiencing all the trauma at once – which no psyche could do – why we remain split.

So, how did I convince myself that this plan would work?  How did I think I’d escape reprogramming?  Was it just denial and hope, with which I pulled myself out of my funk and got back to functioning – and now that I’m functioning again, I have the strength to realize that my plan is seriously flawed?

Maybe.  But let’s think about it.

I’m going to brainstorm all the ways in which I could be protected while I do this work.

1) Don’t leave the house until the work is done.  Don’t answer the door.  Don’t answer the phone.  Don’t go on-line.  But that doesn’t protect one from energetic transmissions, which I have felt, moved away from, felt them as if searching for me, moved again, and went to bed, where they found me again and then, needing to sleep, I just lay in bed and accepted that there was no escape.  So, this seems out (for me).

2) Depend on my spirit help, my cosmic family.  I am ashamed to say that I’ve been inconsistent with my trust in them – probably programmed to be inconsistent.  If I could make this a major part of my work, with reminders surrounding me, with my partner to remind me and pray with me, with a circle of friends supporting me – I think this is the best hope I have.

3) Be my own spiritual protection, a warrior for myself like I’ve never been before, with all the visual and friend reminders I need surrounding me, keeping me constant, not flagging half the time, to overcome whatever programming I have against that.  Well, just because I’ve failed in this and trusting in my Help in the past, doesn’t mean I’ll continue to fail.  If we keep trying, I believe that we can find the key, so I will keep this intention strong also.

4) Move into a protected space?  Someone recommended a Vipassana meditation retreat, which I looked into despite my initial suspicions.  I concluded I’m still suspicious or at least untrusting that the place would be safe.  There’s every possibility that another programmer could be inside, either as staff or another participant.  So, that doesn’t work for me.

5) That reminded of Colin Ross’ healing centers, specifically for MK subjects.  Has anyone heard of anyone going through one?  It would seem that they would know everything about this and be the perfect place – if one had the money.  But, shoot, they could be infiltrated by now as well.  Anyone heard anything?  It seems that, for there being three of their centers in the US, someone would be talking about them if they worked.

6) Any other suggestions?

For now, I’m left with 2 and 3 being my only protection – and I don’t mean “only” in a diminishing way.   Our spiritual help can work miracles, I believe, as can we, when we are fully in our power.

But for me to be fully in my power will take more willpower and intention than I’ve yet rallied for myself in all these years of desiring healing.

Of course, I’ve been mostly alone or not ready this last decade.  And now I have a wonderfully supportive partner and a more complete understanding of the seriousness of this situation, having tried and failed enough, I guess.

So, today’s the first day.  I just returned from my walking meditation.  The details of my prayers I’ll keep to myself, but will post the broader picture of the week at the end of the week.

You all have given me new courage that I’d lost in isolation.  Thank you.  Your gift is huge.  I do believe we could be helping save each others’ lives.

Let’s keep on.

Peace, love, and healing ~

Jean

Recently, I was interviewed by Tami Urbanek (http://webtalkradio.net/shows/journey-for-truth/) about healing from mind control.  (Two interviews should be there, the second specifically about healing, the other about mind control.)

For those without an hour to spend listening, I’d like to outline my suggestions here – after I disclaim any idea that I am fully healed.

I am still very much in healing, though the “events” that might cause problems with normal social functioning and earning a living are very few; sometimes I do experience them, but they’re rare.

Why I think I have anything to offer is this:  Almost everyone in our culture is mind controlled to some degree, but most of it is subtle and seductive and people don’t want to see it; so it requires someone with a more extreme experience to see it clearly, and someone not too totally messed up to be able to talk about it, and someone with “nothing left to lose” to have the guts to talk about it.  Here I am.

What I’ll share here is what I’ve done to get as far as I have – bits and pieces of good advice given me, mixed with things I discovered intuitively and now know was essential to my healing.

1. Use paid counselors (psychiatrists and other therapists) wisely.  They have a lot to offer for help with depression, grief, strengthening “boundaries,” neuroses, relationship issues, assertiveness, etc., but they will be worthless or worse if you are in denial about something outside our culturally- accepted “reality,” such as having been a subject of mind controllers or having experienced “alien” beings, in which case, they’ll encourage your denial.

If you choose to use them, please ask about whether they use a “client-centered approach” with you, and then read about it yourself, so you understand your role, your power in that approach, and then use that role to begin directing your own healing with their help.  If they say they’re doing that, but they’re not, leave.

Remember that your healing work is huge, and an hour or two or three a week will not be enough.  And it will be costly, and insurance is not likely to cover it.  So use them when needed, but plan to do most of your work on your own.

You may also be encouraged to take pharmaceuticals if they try to pass you off to a psychiatrist.  Avoid that if you can!  Psychiatrists have bought into a system that was at the very heart of mind control in the first place.  One of the worst perpetrators, Ewen Cameron, was the President of both the American Psychiatric Institute and the World Psychiatric Institute, and neither of those organizations have disclaimed him.

Having said that, I’ll admit that I once used Zoloft for a short time when depression had me unable to get out of bed and my partner begged me to consider it.  I used a fraction of what was prescribed and discovered that suddenly I could get out of bed again and be hopeful about life and my healing.  One day, I realized the pills were making me “too happy,” so I cut them in half and then took the half dose only every other day, and kept reducing my dose until I was off them and functioning again.  That was back in the mid-90s, and I’ve been prescription-free ever since.

I also saw a psychiatrist last year, mostly to make an official record of my wounds (I was pissed off at the government, and wanted to tell them so).  At the time, I had wanted to apply for disability, as I was having a very hard time functioning at my work.  He called me paranoid and delusional and wanted to put me on pharmaceuticals, which I refused.  However, the mind controllers seemed to let up on me, so maybe it was a good decision.  But it may have also been dangerous, and I don’t recommend it, unless you get a strong intuitive hit to do so.  But avoid their drugs.

I had a friend kill herself a couple years ago when she was trying to remember her childhood abuse and her psychiatrist was over-medicating her.  Her grief had been compounded by the fact that the drugs were making it difficult for her to remember how to operate her computer or even wake up with three alarms going off full blast.  Whether she intended to drive off the highway or just fell asleep at the wheel from her medications, we’ll never know.

Avoid numbing drugs, please.

Another warning about the shrinks:  Even though some I must credit with keeping me alive and sane, others may be mind controllers themselves.  I believe that in the past I have submitted to them and paid them hundreds of dollars.  (Got away before it turned into thousands.)

If you ever distrust them, don’t tell them everything.  If you’re not sure you trust them, pay attention to your body; it knows.

Use the same precautions with support groups and with friends.  This is the beginning of developing some natural human capacity that was nearly destroyed (to a great extent but not totally) by your mind control.  Deciding who to trust is one of your first steps to healing.

2. Take care of your physical body and space.

Eat the healthiest food you can, then learn more about nutrition and continue to improve it as long as you’re alive.  Learn about organic food, raw foods, seaweeds, allergies to wheat, etc., and keep learning more.  Nutritional Healing is an excellent resource (but I take the supplements advice with a grain of salt – they’re expensive; I spend my money on organic food).

Protect your sleep.

Protect yourself from anyone dangerous (physically or emotionally) to you, including family.  Move, if necessary, aiming for peace.

Protect yourself from unnecessary noise.  Enjoy quiet whenever you can.  Radio “news” is so unnecessary.  I used to produce it, and I no longer believe it is necessary for civic functioning; it may be detrimental.  Shut it off, unless you really want to escape your mind; but remember that whatever is in our minds is what we’re needing to work on.

Protect yourself from unnecessary light.  Do you know that unnatural light and too much constant light messes with our minds and bodies?  When I was a hermit, one of the most amazing things I discovered was regaining my circadian rhythms with the slow quieting of light in late day and slow regaining of light each morning.  Now, I’m back in a town, but I use lights very sparingly, and it is soothing.  When I go to others’ homes, constantly lit, it feels weird.

Ditto all the electronic gadgets and radiation in our environment.  I’ve added switches to everything electronic in my home, so everything can be turned off.  It not only saves money, but quiets the energetic environment.

If you feel like being a hermit, as I was, consider it seriously.  I think it was the smartest thing I did for myself.  I went for years without listening to music or anything else on the radio, and was able to indulge in paying attention to myself, my spiritual connections, my dreams, etc.

I thought I would stay a hermit forever, but I returned to society when I was ready.  Leaving was perfect.  Returning was perfect.

Get exercise, get into nature, do yoga (it helps heal the rift in our body-knowing).

Clear your physical space.  If you need, “pretend” you’re aiming to have a “zen” environment – actually, that is a great goal, but just pretend, if you need a push to get started.  Clutter can be an outward manifestation of the disorganization of our minds.

Recruit a friend if you need help.  Read books about it.  Check out Oprah’s videos on it, and get going.  I needed help.  Another friend of mine took years to get started, but she’s 80 percent through sorting all her possessions.  You can do it.

Changing your physical space will remind you you’re on a healing, clarifying journey.  One friend has a beautiful piece of art on her wall that says, “Breathe.”  Use whatever you need to make your home a nurturing space.

Remember to breathe.  I once took a class in breathing!  It un-stuck some memories and freed my body to more properly breathe and provide me oxygen!  Essential.

3. Take care of your emotions.

Accept that your healing will take time.  Our wounding is complicated; MK is like a machine and is probably best removed one piece at a time, though sometimes big sections may be disassembled at once.  Be patient.  We think we want to magically, immediately become “normal” or free, but it might be too much of a shock, and then we’d only be rescued, but not learn anything.

On the other hand, be ready for big changes to happen spontaneously!  Sometimes they do, and then we sit back, in awe, in gratitude, so amazed at the perfection of life, which can change our grief into wisdom and make us so glad we’re here.

Every healing will be different, your own unique path to your own unique wisdom.  Yours will contain its own metaphors, and lead you toward your own soul’s goals, and no one can give you a map.  It’s your own unique process of discovery, which will make you the wise one you’re on the way to becoming.

To get there, be ready to have your worldview shattered.  John Mack calls it “ontological shock” – shock in having everything we thought was real suddenly shift.  It’s okay.  It’s the path of everyone who gains wisdom, to realize that this crazy world is not what we think it is.

Remember that the trip gets better and easier.  There are ups and downs, certainly, but for the most part, the path is upward if you focus there.  Keep your focus on what’s positive.

Know that you are very strong to have gotten as far as you have – even if you’ve considered “opting out.”  So have I.  I have a friend who once said that he didn’t believe that anyone was truly committed to being alive if they hadn’t considered the alternative.

I’ll also admit that many times I have not been fully committed to living, but only staying here because I didn’t want to hurt my children.  But thank goodness, they kept me here!  Eventually, after slogging through deep depression, I remembered the joy, found a purpose, and then discovered it was a profoundly important journey I was on, to discover who I was beneath all the programming and to develop my soul’s wisdom and strength.

Focus on those possibilities.  See yourself as a warrior, destined to break through each block placed before you, and make the development of the necessary warrior skills for each battle your main goal in life, before all else.

Honor that vision.  The world needs more warriors now.  And those of us who’ve seen and experienced the darkness up close and personal, we understand the other side better than anyone.  Even if we don’t know what to do about it now, we are still important resources of information on this planet.  Honor your place.

“Timely retreat is an important skill of the warrior” – or something like that – from The Book of Runes, by Ralph Blum.  Sometimes we’ll be brave; sometimes we’ll take care of ourselves and back off.  Use your intuition, and honor that impulse as well.  It’s a warrior’s skill.

Know you’re not alone.  There are many in this struggle.  At least 20,000 children are estimated to have been used as we were.  One day we’ll be written of in history, like the Tuskeegee victims and radiation-injected children and many, many other victims of our sometimes insane world.

The point?  I’m not sure beyond what I’ve said already.  But just don’t fool yourself that you’re alone.  You’re not.

Consider that your journey is like that of any Hero, questing after something for which the Hero is willing to risk his or her life.  In some cases, it’s literally true, and it has felt that way often enough to me.

Our quest may be essential for our collective destiny and evolution.  Honor it, even when it’s painful.

Figuring things out, even “only” inside our own heads, may be the most important thing we ever do in this life, more important that just about anything, other than caring for our children – or maybe sometimes more important than even that.  I’ve certainly put it ahead of my “retirement,” for instance.

Practice compassion always.  Many “crazy people” may be multiples, not doing as well as we are.

Practicing compassion also extends to yourself.

Select your friends carefully.

Select carefully the physical things you choose to put in your environment.  Recognize what colors please you, what sorts of things, and put away or give away everything else.  Get rid of junk; everything has energy and affects us.  I once burned 20 years worth of journals!  They carried too much bad energy.

Create time to sit quietly every day.

4. Develop your spiritual life with prayer or meditation.

I do believe we have tremendous help in the other dimensions.  They may be angels or gods, but I don’t use those words for them; in fact, I try to avoid using words for them at all, except their names have power.  I feel they are my family, who have cared for me since I was born here.  Sometimes I call them “spirit help,” but lately I’ve begun to call them “my cosmic family” or “cosmic tribe.”

Strengthen whatever connections you have by, at least, “checking in” daily.  Some of us, because of ritual abuse, have serious problems with prayer or petitions or anything ritualistic.  I’ve struggled with it a lot.  But when I check in with my help (cosmic family), I make more consistent progress, have greater peace and confidence that I’m on the right track.

I made a self-hypnosis recording to help me sit still – only 12 minutes long – which directs the listener in a manner that supports self-direction.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvMan6q2L60&list=UUSiwW3DHxWECeTlQoW0PY3Q&index=5&feature=plcp  Others might find it a useful tool.

(I meant to post in the notes below it the entire text of the session, but realize I haven’t yet.  I intend to do that soon.  If I don’t, please remind me.)

Our resistance to ritual is understandable, and I still avoid ritual situations.  Go beyond ritual; communicate from your heart and express your feelings in whatever manner feels true to you.  Sometimes they will be gestures or actions that seem ritualistic, and that’s okay if it comes from your heart.  The point is honest communication.

Beware spiritual imposters.  The spiritual realms are filled with beings, intelligent, ascended, un-evolved, tricksters, and more.  “Discerning the spirits” is an important spiritual exercise – sometimes I think the very most important.

Then learn to protect yourself.  I find that focusing on my own good heart and my positive spiritual contacts is far more successful than putting up shields or protection against the others.

Ask specific questions, and learn to listen.  Ask more questions, if necessary, then act on the answers you’ve been given.

You may want to record the answers to your petitions, to hold yourself accountable and later check the advice in hindsight.

Be open to spontaneous healing and other amazing events.  Make time for them.

Read about spiritual practice, if you feel drawn to it, but let your journey be self-directed.

Use meditation to move your focus away from all the craziness of our world and toward your self-identity:  your values, the goodness in yourself and others, your energy (calming), and your emotions (balanced), and your help.  Know that this is real.

Meditation has been the primary consciousness tool used throughout all cultures known through history; it will support your prayers and your healing.

5. Write to learn and focus.

Keep a journal, at least a brief one, so you can remember what you’ve learned.  It will amaze you as the years go by and give you a sense of direction, responsibility, and accomplishment.

Writing will also assist your own psychotherapy, by helping you recognize what are your issues.

If you need help knowing how to begin, there are books about keeping journals and probably articles online.

I’ve also used audio- and video-recording lately, which may be easier for some.

6. Try self-hypnosis.

I became a certified Transpersonal Hypnotherapist, and though I have not worked with clients for years, I respect the possibilities, but think it is far more important that people learn to do this for themselves.

Carla Emery’s Secret, Don’t Tell: The Encyclopedia of Hypnotism has an excellent section on using self-hypnosis to understand and undo the effects of mind control.

(It also has an excellent summary of CIA mind control and other examples of unethical hypnosis used in Europe and the United States in the last hundred-plus years.  It is an excellent compendium.  If you want to buy it, please buy it from Carla’s widow at http://www.hypnotism.org.  Not Amazon, please.  Addall.com is a great alternative.  Avoid Amazon.)

Keep in mind the primary goal of breaking the amnesic block, disabling the hypnotic key/control, and disabling all programming.

Remember:  Go for the feelings; they are the clue to everything (not the ideas that pop up in the mind, which can be programmed).

Remember:  You don’t have to be afraid of remembering too much; you can control that.  You can ask to remember at whatever pace your inner wise one knows will allow you to heal most swiftly and comfortably.

Techniques can include working alone (with your inner wise one) or with a trusted friend.  Begin with a goal to understand an event, a feeling, or a symbol.  Use your rational mind to debate both sides, but ultimately go for the feeling meaning.

If images are frightening, don’t confront or avoid; use visualization to change it, even if only little by little over time.

Use self-hypnosis to envision yourself in a healed state.

7. Educate yourself with books and videos.

I used to read a great deal about this, then became saturated and quit.  My list may not be the most current, but these are titles I’ve appreciated a great deal and recommend, followed by videos:

DC Hammond, “The Greenbaum Speech” (not real title, but what everyone calls it), online here:  http://www.empty-memories.nl/science/greenbaum.pdf

Colin Ross, CIA Mind Control Doctors and Military Mind Control

Carla Emery, Secret, Don’t Tell

John Mack, Abductions and Passport to the Cosmos – for those with alien experiences  (John Mack has the outlook that things blowing our minds is a necessary experience for opening consciousness; alien cruelty may be accidental, not intentional.)

Ann Diamond, A Certain Girl

Svali, online, both print and video

Peter Levine, Waking the Tiger, Healing Trauma

Alison Miller, Healing the Unimaginable: Treating Ritual Abuse and Mind Control

Now we just have to do the work, our own unique work to reclaim our minds.

It’s the holiest grail….

And every day I’m grateful.

The struggle to regain consciousness and integration is difficult, but it can be done, and the reward is greater than you can know:  to gain the prize, we must first develop subtle skills, intuition and strength, and that in itself is fantastic:  we deepen our souls like others can’t even imagine.  So keep the faith….

#

Hypnotherapy and mind control do have history together, regardless that the profession often denies it.  Instances of unethical, even criminal, hypnosis have been recorded by US and European courts and medical authorities for over a century.  And CIA mind control researchers published extensively in the field of hypnosis in the 40s and 50s particularly.

So, why would I participate in this profession?  Because the tool of hypnosis is useful, like a knife or a vehicle, and can therefore be empowering.  It can help one understand the depth and power of one’s own consciousness, unconscious, and subconscious.  It can also impress one of the need to protect one’s mind from cultural and other programming – which are ubiquitous.

I also want to explore the potential for using self-hypnosis to protect oneself from cultural and other programming and possibly help one de-program oneself – or work with another to accomplish that.

Therefore, I renewed last week my “Transpersonal Hypnotherapy” (TM) certification.  I had been trained and certified in this spirit-acknowledging modality over six years ago, and I had a very successful first year, helping friends with various issues, for which I received immensely encouraging feedback, such as “This was the most important therapy of my life – and I’ve had lots! – because you helped me get in touch with my Inner Wise One!”

I just created my first new “Daily Intentions” self-hypnosis recording, which I’d like to share with others.  It is non-specific, leaving space for you to fill in your daily intentions, with spirit guidance and protection.  Please read the script (below) and mentally make any adjustments that you need.

http://www.youtube.com/user/ParadigmSalonVideo?feature=mhee#p/a/u/1/SvMan6q2L60

Also, I want to strongly encourage anyone considering hypnosis to choose a professional who 1) uses “formal induction,” 2) works with you to create a script with all the elements that work specifically for you, and 3) records your session and lets you take it home immediately.  I’ll write more about these issues in a later post.

Meantime, here is the script for this session I originally created for myself.  Please read it first, and only use the recording (above) if you feel it is in your highest interest.

This is a “Daily Intentions” Self-Hypnosis by Jean Eisenhower.

Do not listen to this recording while driving.  Also know that you are free to accept or reject or amend all suggestions in this recording.

It’s time now to get into a comfortable position.  Uncross your arms and legs, and take a few deep, relaxing breaths.  Invite your spirit family to be with you now.

With each breath, notice how your whole body begins to naturally relax.  Any tension just begins to float away, like mist, and you release your breath in the same soft way.

Remember a time when, after a day of inspired, physical labor, you finally relaxed, allowing yourself to sit or lie down with no demands at all.  Your limbs are gratefully relaxed, and you feel that gratitude throughout your body, grateful for healthful rest.

Focus on your relaxation:  so easy… so natural… becoming more relaxed with each slow, deep breath – connected to your spirit family.

If you happen to relax so much that you fall asleep, you will hear the word “Now” and wake up just enough to focus again intently on your   intentions.

With every word, you are becoming more deeply relaxed and focused, with your mind intent on every aspect of your vision of change, evolution, growth.

Now, as you continue to breathe and relax, you find yourself able to focus intently on the vision you’ve created and for which you’ve asked for help and support of your spirit family.

Any sound besides my voice, such as footsteps, a doorbell, or siren, will only remind you that you can relax even more deeply, unless there is need to do otherwise.  Any unnecessary noises besides my voice will help you to relax more deeply, and more deeply.

Now….  This state of relaxation is so easy, so natural, it is fascinating to you to become more focused on your skill, appreciating that it also feels so good, is so good for you – physically, mentally, and spiritually – and you know that you can return to this state anytime, easily.  It is such a gift to give yourself, to be in such a beautiful state of healing rest, yet focused mentally, alert to your body and mind and your  spirit, all evolving toward your vision.

Now sense now the energy field that surrounds and encompasses your body.  Sense – or imagine – the connection between your body and the highest, most loving intelligence in the cosmos.  Now sense – or imagine – the connection between your body and the Earth.  See yourself as a beautiful energy stream, flowing from the Source of Loving Intelligence to this material plane which is this Earth, and back again.

You are a wonderful flow of intelligent, creative energy from Source to Earth and back.

Now….  the Source of Loving Intelligence shines a special light of protection through you – and around you.  Enjoy this beautiful, comforting, loving light.

And now….  Your spirit family focuses protection on you, freeing you from all old programming or new programming that does not serve your highest purpose.  Only those members of your spirit family who work in your best interest have any ability to direct or encourage your actions.

Now, any attempts by old programming, or any attempts by new programming, even cultural programming, from any source, will only make you aware of it, able to easily reject the commands and better understand your own independence and free will.

All old karma is now released.  You are free to act in accordance with only your own personal intention and the guidance of your spirit family.

Now, to reach the deepest levels of your knowing, we’re going to count from 5 to 1, and when we reach 1, you will be in your   deepest state of relaxation, open to the highest vision you have for yourself, open to the help of your spirit family who loves you and desires to fully support your highest visions.

Now, 5, relax just a little more deeply into your very focused attention, allowing the tiniest bits of unnecessary energy to float to away from you, allowing you to focus more and more your mind more clearly….

4 – You can relax now a little bit more, knowing that you are discovering your very wisest self, very much at ease.

3 – This deep relaxation and focused attention is so fascinating and feels so good, it relaxes you even more to realize, with gratitude, that you have the power to go to this deep, calm place of inner wisdom.

2 – In this deeply relaxed state now, supported by and protected by your spirit family, you have access to infinite wisdom to direct and empower your life for the Highest Good of yourself and others you care for.

1 – You are now in the magic place of intention, vision, and creation.

You have dreams and visions of what is the highest good for your life.  Take a moment now, and describe those dreams as they are now evolving and as you see them taking place in the future for the good of all.

Have confidence that your family, your spirit family, wants to hear your highest dreams, wants you to commit to them yourself with words – even if you might not see the entire picture, even if you would humbly prefer that they make these decisions.

If your spirit family’s perspective is larger and might not quite fit your vision, you are confident that they will lovingly incorporate aspects of your heart’s desire into the plan they know will help you best unfold your dreams, allowing you to see  the larger picture when the time comes and make adaptations.  This is the purpose of your daily meditation time with your spirit family.

Imagine your dreams coming true now.  Invite your spirit family to dialog with you.  Open your heart to receive what they have to offer.

Speak your dreams of accomplishment, power, love, joy, satisfaction, and service to self and others.  We’ll take some time now.

[pause 40 seconds]

You are grateful.

And now, it is time to bring your vision… your knowing… your perfect inspiration… gently, quietly maybe, really into your everyday world.

I will count now from 5 to 1 now to allow you to draw this vision back into tangible reality.

5 – you will remember everything you’ve heard, felt, and experienced here.

4 – you are satisfied, and gratified, to have felt and experienced the reality of your dreams, supported

3 – you are more in touch with the room now – and know that your dreams can be manifest in this world

2 – you are feeling more aware of everything around you, feeling your hands and feet, maybe wiggling them

1 – you are wide   awake again, your consciousness focused on your dreams evolving into our material world, this fantastic place of creation.  You are confident and feeling wonderful!

Being social. I doubt natural humans had a concept for “social.” I believe it just was.

Not today. Now ties of family and tribe are stressed or broken, and we are “civilized,” made part of artificial groups, brought together through economic class, school, and workplace. There are advantages that have come with these changes, for certain individuals as well as to all, but I want to look at on particular cost, to see if it might be mitigated.

My first experience of life, like most everyone I know, was changing pairs of rubber gloved-hands which soon placed me in an “isolette” – isolated from germs, I suppose, but also from my mother.

If that harmed me, I know it also harmed her, and it hurt me again when they kept my children from me for days after their births except every two hours and then just long enough for nursing.

All this, I’m sure, prepared us for the world to come, in which we’d be more easily convinced to sacrifice things of the heart for the needs of industry.

I got extra treatment, but that story is not necessary to make my point today: we’ve all been mind controlled to some degree. Baby boys, uniformly for decades, were sexually mutilated at birth for a totally bogus reason, which might explain the violence, including sexual violence, in our culture, as well as our nation’s ability to raise troops to go so readily to war: we have generations of men who have to prove something, because once they were totally powerless to stop a profound psychic pain, something to do with their manhood, but they can’t quite figure it out, so they need to act it out.

This massive change in human consciousness, called “civilization,” has been resisted throughout time, from the heathens and pagans (literally, heath dwellers and forest dwellers) who were murdered as part of Europe’s economic machinations to move people into the cities to worship in cathedrals, to the Sixties’ recognition of the mind-numbing state of the nuclear family – or was it just the family in front of the TV?

And now the human connection, citified into what we call a “social life” is becoming even less so, and we don’t even mind the descriptor “virtual,” which means, “almost, but not quite.”

Am I satisfied with virtual? Not at all.

And yet, as a writer, it’s my medium.

And I’ve complained about this plenty. I know I’ve lived other lives far more satisfying – connected – than this one. And I don’t blame myself or anyone; it’s just what we have become as a people (directed by whom is the salient question), and some of us have harder experiences than others.

As one of those getting harsher treatment, I believe it’s my role to holler. And I can’t really see that it’s my role to do anything else, even if no one wants to hear. Tough. It’s what pain cells do, and the human body does well to listen to those signals.

Even though I was not raised to be social, I give it the old college try. Each year, more of my parts pull together, and I do better and better at socializing, so much that some people, catching me on a good day, would never believe how hard socializing can be for me at other times.

A successful night out to dinner, for instance, requires the focused attention of I-don’t-know-how-many parts of me, after which I feel an energy lag while all the experiences of the other evening are brought back to the rest of me and revisited, like a girl going home to her sick sister to tell her what she’d missed at the dance.  Of course, the sister has thoughts and feelings about it and and needs to do a little reliving, imagining, or opining – and that takes time. If I’m too busy, I may suffer with a sense of disintegration and must stay home, sometimes, for weeks at a time.

I love my solitude (thankfully), though I use it – ironically – for the even-more removed version of social-ness – the virtual world – so I can rail against our loss of human connection, destroyed in favor of human resource extraction.

I don’t see clearly the way to change things, but I believe if more people would acknowledge that we are mind controlled, and it pervades our culture from birth on, together we have a chance.

Personally, I work in the system when I see a chance to inoculate it with better ideas that might spur change, I invest energy in new ideas like Permaculture, and I invest myself in understanding the other dimensions and gaining facility in communicating with helpful energies.

Since I’m a recovering mind-control subject, everything I do needs to be judged. It’s everyone’s responsibility.  But not only with me – with everyone. We are all mind-controlled to some degree, some of us more insidiously than others.  Mind control is the biggest threat to human consciousness – the foundation of our ability to perceive clearly and act rationally, individually and collectively.

The damage to us has not been an accident, but is an intentional, ubiquitous, historical practice, now refined to great power, and not to be ignored.  It underlies everything.

So I keep yappin’, telling of my experiences, asking others to let me know if they think I should consider other explanations for my perception of reality.

I believe we live in a multi-dimensional cosmos, far more amazing than most of us acknowledge, with a complex history of which human evolution and manipulation are only a chapter, maybe just a footnote, though it’s everything to us.

Sometimes I think we’re like the patient on the table with everyone praying and weeping for us to wake up.  The hospital is in a war zone, but they’ll save those details till we’re more awake.

Other times it seems our cocoon is cracking and about to break open, and it’ll be a beautiful and amazing day.

Often events are a tangle or dance of things greatly opposed.  And it works.

Crashing waves against the cliff.

The bramble and the vine.

Compost and new shoots.

“It is this that I am concerned to communicate:

both the nearness and the strangeness

of uncharted realms

of risk and beauty

full of promise.”

Terrence McKenna

Last night I was both blown away and comforted by these words,
which cast the unsettling (and sometimes terrifying) fact
of not being able to remember what has happened
– when it is clear something happened –
into a context of ancient wisdom teaching
(though it might also have been highjacked,
or highjacking is often attempted,
by modern government technologies):

“Don Juan explained that in a state of heightened awareness
apprentices can behave almost as naturally as in everyday life,
but can bring their minds to focus on anything
with uncommon force and clarity.

“Yet, an inherent quality of heightened awareness is that
it is not susceptible to normal recall.
What transpires in such a state becomes part of
the apprentice’s everyday awareness
only through a staggering effort of recovery.”
[my emphasis]

I know that “staggering effort!”
Thanks, Carlos.

He goes on to eventually quote Don Juan:
“Every time I entered into heightened awareness
I could not cease marveling at the difference between my two sides.
I always felt as if a veil had been lifted from my eyes,
as if I had been blind before and now I could see.

“The freedom, the sheer joy that used to possess me on those occasions cannot be compared with anything else I have ever experienced.
Yet at the same time,
there was a frightening feeling of sadness and longing
that went hand in hand with that freedom and joy.

“Don Juan had told me that there is no completeness
without sadness and longing,
for without them there is no sobriety, no kindness.
Wisdom without kindness, he said,
and knowledge without sobriety are useless.”

I’ve often said, “Life is nothing if not a series of breakthroughs.”

Just hours after writing my last post, telling friends it was here and that I needed help, I had yet another major breakthrough of my life.

Computer turned off, I sat on my sofa, first feeling alone, but trusting, then imagined streams of light stretching out across the nation between myself and whomever might be praying for me.  And realized that we are a powerful network for each other!

Over these last decades, I’ve had many conscious experiences of my Spirit Help, which have amazed me, changed me, and made me think I’d never feel disconnected from them.  Yet, often I have felt disconnected, unable to find my way back.  I’ve often imagined my Spirit Help “out there,” unwilling or unable – perhaps prevented by spiritual adversaries – to come in close and connect with me again.

After my post, with you in support, I experienced my Spirit Help suddenly close again, actually inside my aura, inside my heart, in various places around me, depending on who they are.  Yeshua I felt literally in my heart.  Other powerful beings in his command reside elsewhere around me.  I spent quite awhile acknowledging everyone and checking in with what exactly is our relationship and how they are here to assist me.

When I lay in bed that night to sleep, surrounded by my cosmic tribe, our auras co-mingling comfortably, we seemed like a litter of spirit kittens, content, warm, fed, cuddling in ultimate comfort and security.  In “reality” (whatever that is!), it may be more true that I am like the single kitten in the comfort of many mothers, but in any case, I slept with a very sweet sense of security I’ve not often felt.  And it has stayed with me all week.  So, thank you, thank you, thank you all.

I’ve continued to pray nightly for all of you who wrote to say you were praying for me.  I love the image of our overlapping prayers wrapping light around our world as I drift into the Dreamtime.

I am alive today because someone wrote a book about the horrors they went through as a child.  It let me know I was not alone, so I was able to gather the will to go on living.

Should that artwork not have existed, I would not be here, or I’d be a writhing, drugged mess in a mental ward.  I thank God for the writer who told a story that few others wanted to hear.

Now I’m on the other side, hearing similar stories from people who’ve read my book.  I only allowed myself to write it after I knew I had a fuller picture, beyond the fear, including hope for healing; but in the middle, it’s not “pretty.”

When some claim that the highest or only aspiration of Art is sublime beauty, I think of Neils Bohr who  said, “The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth” – giving me permission to tell my less-than-pretty stories.  Thanks for listening.