I have a new intention to promote my healing – helped along, it seems, by all the experiences I’ve posted about in the last few days and the support I’ve experienced from you all.
I believe this plan is better thought-through than previous intentions – though I’m aware of one major weakness, for which I’ll welcome suggestions and thoughts.
First, I plan to make myself open to my inner wisdom in a mediation walk every day. (I’ve never yet been consistent with intentions to sit still, so I’ll now go walking and get my exercise while I’m at it.) How I’ll keep this intention, I’ll explain in the last part.
Second, I plan to keep a single journal – only one, not different ones and random sheets of paper, but one, to represent my unified mind, and to facilitate greater awareness and my alters coming together.
Third, I’ll do self-hypnotherapy or other inner exploration a couple/few times a week, sometimes with my partner’s assistance, and document it.
The fourth aspect – the part that will assure I don’t slack on the other three parts – is to end my isolation by posting my progress for an audience who will be expecting to hear from me. I hope this will hold me to greater accountability than I’ve ever sustained before. You’ll recognize – and I’ll recognize – if I’m not doing my work!
But the major flaw, I’m sure most of you will recognize, is the problem of reprogramming. How do I assure that that doesn’t happen? Especially when I post my progress.
A naive person would say that I’ll learn my command cues right away and thereafter be protected from them, but we know it’s not that easy. There are multiple command cues, and each one comes with trauma that – it seems – must be remembered or experienced in some manner for the cue to be recognized. To recognize all the cues at once would require experiencing all the trauma at once – which no psyche could do – why we remain split.
So, how did I convince myself that this plan would work? How did I think I’d escape reprogramming? Was it just denial and hope, with which I pulled myself out of my funk and got back to functioning – and now that I’m functioning again, I have the strength to realize that my plan is seriously flawed?
Maybe. But let’s think about it.
I’m going to brainstorm all the ways in which I could be protected while I do this work.
1) Don’t leave the house until the work is done. Don’t answer the door. Don’t answer the phone. Don’t go on-line. But that doesn’t protect one from energetic transmissions, which I have felt, moved away from, felt them as if searching for me, moved again, and went to bed, where they found me again and then, needing to sleep, I just lay in bed and accepted that there was no escape. So, this seems out (for me).
2) Depend on my spirit help, my cosmic family. I am ashamed to say that I’ve been inconsistent with my trust in them – probably programmed to be inconsistent. If I could make this a major part of my work, with reminders surrounding me, with my partner to remind me and pray with me, with a circle of friends supporting me – I think this is the best hope I have.
3) Be my own spiritual protection, a warrior for myself like I’ve never been before, with all the visual and friend reminders I need surrounding me, keeping me constant, not flagging half the time, to overcome whatever programming I have against that. Well, just because I’ve failed in this and trusting in my Help in the past, doesn’t mean I’ll continue to fail. If we keep trying, I believe that we can find the key, so I will keep this intention strong also.
4) Move into a protected space? Someone recommended a Vipassana meditation retreat, which I looked into despite my initial suspicions. I concluded I’m still suspicious or at least untrusting that the place would be safe. There’s every possibility that another programmer could be inside, either as staff or another participant. So, that doesn’t work for me.
5) That reminded of Colin Ross’ healing centers, specifically for MK subjects. Has anyone heard of anyone going through one? It would seem that they would know everything about this and be the perfect place – if one had the money. But, shoot, they could be infiltrated by now as well. Anyone heard anything? It seems that, for there being three of their centers in the US, someone would be talking about them if they worked.
6) Any other suggestions?
For now, I’m left with 2 and 3 being my only protection – and I don’t mean “only” in a diminishing way. Our spiritual help can work miracles, I believe, as can we, when we are fully in our power.
But for me to be fully in my power will take more willpower and intention than I’ve yet rallied for myself in all these years of desiring healing.
Of course, I’ve been mostly alone or not ready this last decade. And now I have a wonderfully supportive partner and a more complete understanding of the seriousness of this situation, having tried and failed enough, I guess.
So, today’s the first day. I just returned from my walking meditation. The details of my prayers I’ll keep to myself, but will post the broader picture of the week at the end of the week.
You all have given me new courage that I’d lost in isolation. Thank you. Your gift is huge. I do believe we could be helping save each others’ lives.
Let’s keep on.
Peace, love, and healing ~