Author Archives: Jean Eisenhower

About Jean Eisenhower

Nomad in Service. Former businesswoman, activist, artist, author, manager, educator, now keeping things simple, no longer owning a home, but traveling to suit the weather, being of Service wherever I go.

Salon.com on Aspie Activist’s Super Power

Greta Thunberg is right: Autism is her superpower. Those who mock her should learn from her
Greta Thunberg is being mocked by the right for her autism. In fact, it’s the reason she may save the world

Matthew Rozsa
September 12, 2019 12:00PM (UTC)
You’ve probably heard of Greta Thunberg by now. In case you haven’t, she’s a 16-year-old girl from Sweden who has become world-famous in little more than a year. In August of 2018, Thunberg launched a solitary school strike outside the Swedish Parliament building in Stockholm, standing there all by herself with a sign calling for urgent action against the climate crisis. From the beginning, her argument was both simple and compelling: The adults who are destroying the planet are forcing her generation to face an existential threat to human life and the natural world. Something must be done, right now.
Journalists noticed her, and a few other students started coming too; then dozens, and then hundreds. By the spring of this year Thunberg’s solo actions had inspired a worldwide movement with its own hashtag: #ClimateStrike. Millions of teenagers and children all over the world have participated, urging governments and other institutions of power to do something about the crisis that endangers their future. Their reasoning ca be summed up by what 19-year-old named Aji Piper told the House Select Committee on the Climate Crisis last year:

While I am not a lawyer nor a climate scientist, and I only recently came of voting age, I know from studying climate science and living with the consequences of climate change today that my health, my community, and my future — and that of my generation — is at stake.
Thunberg’s gift lies in her ability to sum up the issues of the climate crisis succinctly, in a form anyone can understand. Take this excerpt from a recording she did for “Notes on a Conditional Form,” a new album by The 1975.
We are right now at the beginning of a climate and ecological crisis. And we need to call it what it is: an emergency. Today we use about 100 million barrels of oil every single day. There are no politics to change that. There are no rules to keep that oil in the ground, so we can no longer save the world by playing by the rules, because the rules have to be changed, everything needs to change, and it has to start today.
She concludes, “The main solution is so simple that even a small child can understand it. We have to stop our emissions of greenhouse gases.”
There is an eloquence to that, as well as a simplicity. Thunberg doesn’t go into wonkish detail like a scientist, or overblown (or evasive) rhetoric like a politician. She aims right for the soul of the matter. She has digested the inescapable conclusions of climate change science, and turned them into a few sentences that tell you everything you need to know: The world is heading toward an ecological catastrophe because of our greenhouse gas emissions. Period. Everything else is commentary.

00:00/00:00

With her sudden fame and influence, Thunberg has also become a target for right-wing abuse — which is probably a sign that climate deniers and their allies are scared of her. Like the Parkland student protesters before her, Thunberg has been mocked, derided and subjected to semi-conspiratorial whisper campaigns by many of her critics on the right.
During Thunberg’s recent trans-Atlantic voyage to the U.S. (she refuses to travel by air), one Brexiteer joked that she might have a yachting accident. A right-wing British MP dismissed her as the “Justin Bieber of ecology.” An Australian blogger named Andrew Bolt took a veiled swipe at her mental health by describing her as “deeply disturbed.”
That last insult was both important and emblematic. From her first moments in the spotlight, Thunberg has been open about the fact that she is on the autism spectrum. (She uses the familiar term “Asperger’s syndrome,” which is no longer used for diagnostic purposes in the U.S.) For fellow autists like me, this makes her both a source of inspiration and a role model. For conservatives wishing to knock her down a peg, needless to say, it’s a perceived weakness and an opening for exploitation and ridicule.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t surprised when I heard that Thunberg was being bullied for having autism. When you’re on the spectrum, being bullied comes with the territory. In high school I often sat alone at lunch and had few friends. Some of those I trusted at the time later admitted that they would also ridicule me behind my back.
Despite the growing awareness that exists for autism, it seems that Thunberg’s story wasn’t very different from mine. She has written on Twitter that before she became an activist, she had “no energy, no friends and I didn’t speak to anyone. I just sat alone at home, with an eating disorder.” Now that she has emerged as the face of a generation that wants to save the planet for all of us, she is being bullied by many on the right for being on the spectrum. Thankfully, times have changed, and she isn’t afraid to speak out.

Thunberg wrote this on Twitter:
When haters go after your looks and differences, it means they have nowhere left to go. And then you know you’re winning! I have Aspergers and that means I’m sometimes a bit different from the norm. And — given the right circumstances- being different is a superpower. #aspiepower. I’m not public about my diagnosis to ‘hide’ behind it, but because I know many ignorant people still see it as an ‘illness’, or something negative. And believe me, my diagnosis has limited me before.
Leading the climate strike movement, she added, has changed her life: “I have found a meaning, in a world that sometimes seems shallow and meaningless to so many people.”
Thunberg’s experience as an Aspie will resonate with many people on the spectrum. Of course autistic individuals are as different from each other as anyone else. But I perceive some common threads here.

1. She has a deep passion about a subject that many people find difficult to comprehend.
Millions of people are concerned about the climate crisis. But when you listen to Thunberg speak, you can tell that her interest is, in some qualitative sense, different. There is an intensity with which she speaks, an in-depth knowledge of the material, that transcends mere familiarity and enters the realm of passion. It is the kind of unbridled enthusiasm that causes many an Aspie to be told to shut up and act normal, because neurotypicals aren’t interested in hearing you “nerd out” about whatever topic has popped into your head. For me those subjects include history, politics and pop culture; for Thunberg, it’s clearly climate science.
Considering that people with Asperger’s are often known for their ability to absorb vast quantities of information on specialized subjects and use it constructively, if there is someone you want to consult as an expert on climate change, it’s an Aspie.
2. Her perceived weirdness is used to discredit her, often by people who won’t quite say they’re picking on her for being on the spectrum.
This one, I regret to say, never goes away. Even in my adulthood — even in environments as supposedly understanding as academia — I still encounter people who read my non-neurotypical way of socializing as inappropriate, who demand that I show more emotion or who pick apart everything I say. These people probably don’t think of themselves as bigots. But the fact that the comments sections under every article about Thunberg are littered with ridicule about her “weird” or “robotic” behavior, or other insults everyone with autism has heard, strongly suggests that they are.

If there is one message that neurotypical people need to hear, it’s that if you viscerally reject an Aspie because he or she is “weird,” your opinion on your motives is irrelevant. Either you are a bigot, or you’re behaving a hell of a lot like one.
3. Most of the criticism of Thunberg that is based on her autism comes from the right.
This isn’t simply because, in general, liberals and progressives have more empathy for marginalized groups. It is also because there is a growing tendency to use “autistic” as an insult on the online right, akin to “snowflake” or “cuck.” The underlying idea is that if you’re on the autism spectrum, you’re a freak, detached from the regular world, either prone to emotional outbursts or android-like in affect. (Bigotry is rarely consistent.)
I’ve been attacked for my autism in Reddit forums on everything from white nationalism to feminism. When I wrote a personal essay in 2017 saying that my autism helps inform my political views, the picture and headline became a meme in certain circles, as if the idea that autism was linked to liberal  politics could somehow discredit liberal ideology as a whole.

The right’s obsessive focus on Thunberg’s autism also illustrates their fear. This is where the analogy with the Parkland student protesters is strongest: Conservatives can’t easily dispute the moral imperative driving these young people (who don’t want to die, whether from gunfire or a poisoned planet) or their factual evidence. So they instead resort to cheap shots. Like all bullies, they pick on you not because they’re convinced they’re right, but because they feel inadequate.
As autism expert Tony Attwood puts it, people on the spectrum are “renowned for being direct, speaking their mind and being honest and determined and having a strong sense of social justice.”
The part of our condition that involves disability is largely about socialization: We can have difficulty reading the subtext in interpersonal interactions, reading nonverbal communication and deciphering body language. On a deeper level, people on the spectrum struggle with the ethereal language of socialization that neurotypicals intuitively understand and take for granted.
This presents a catch-22 for members of the autistic community. If, on the one hand, we’re capable of learning the “social script” and thus appear “normal,” people question whether we are really on the spectrum at all. I recall a boss who once told me, “I’d never be able to tell you were autistic if you didn’t let me know that.”

At the same time, many find the performance of constantly behaving like a neurotypical person to be exhausting. When you become too tired to keep it up and begin to display autistic traits, the social penalties are even greater because people can’t understand why you went from being normal to being “weird.” This, of course, assumes that you can perform the social script in the first place, which many of us can’t.
As a result, we experience rejection and tend to self-isolate and self-loathe. Unless, of course, we’re lucky enough to be rewarded for the aspects of our condition that are superpowers.
In June I had a conversation with Temple Grandin, a professor of animal science at Colorado State University and a well-known spokesperson for autism. As we discussed the fact that we had been fortunate to find careers doing things we loved, she said that her advice for anyone on the spectrum was to figure out which of your gifts can be directed toward a vocation and then “make yourself really good at it.”
The gift of being autistic is that you tend to be really good at certain things, often with less effort than others have to put into them. (Which can cause more than a bit of jealousy). The downside is that because of your deficiencies in socialization, you don’t have much choice. You have to be really good at these things. If you’re not, society is likely to discard you for your difference and not reward you for what you have to offer.

We have to work harder, try harder, seize every opportunity and never stop being hungry. Because the moment we fail, the normies may decide they have no more use for us.
This is why it is so inspiring, indeed gratifying, for an Aspie to be taking the lead in saving the world. If Greta Thunberg succeeds in changing history, it will be not in spite of her autism but because of it. It is the fact that she has the passion and drive and work ethic to focus on a singular issue, and the intellect to understand it in all its complexity, and the maturity of a society that is far from where it should be in accepting autism but is miles ahead of where it was only a few decades ago. And, as it happens, the issue she’s so singularly focused on is one that has mobilized an entire generation that realizes, all too clearly, that their future is literally at stake.
Greta Thunberg is right: Her autism is her superpower. And because she is using it to fight for a righteous cause, she is precisely the hero we need right now.

Matthew Rozsa
Matthew Rozsa is a breaking news writer for Salon. He holds an MA in History from Rutgers University-Newark and is ABD in his PhD program in History at Lehigh University. His work has appeared in Mic, Quartz and MSNBC.

Judge rules terror watchlist violates rights of Americans on it but punts on next step – CNNPolitics

A federal judge ruled on Wednesday that the Terrorist Screening Database violates the constitutional rights of American citizens who are on it, deciding in favor of 23 citizens who sued after being placed on the watchlist.
— Read on www.cnn.com/2019/09/04/politics/terrorism-screening-database/index.html

Maybe/not parasites/worms in sinuses

It sure seemed like I had a parasite, probably a worm of some sort, in my sinus, and not only that, but it seemed to be laying eggs!
It’s possible, though, that I was mind controlled to believe this was the case.  At first it seemed as though someone would have had to mind control me to enter an altered state and let them in my camper to squirt something sticky into the front of my right nostril, then leave and let me come to normal consciousness to find the sticky stuff there and freak out.  Crazy.
Later I thought it might have been possible for someone to mind control me to believe I’d found the white sticky stuff in my nostril and twirl five Q-tips in there repeatedly to get it all out.  More likely, with my history.
I thought I was videotaping my Q-tip work – part of my usual habit of keeping excellent documentation of everything – but discovered the camera wasn’t recording until I was in the final stages.  I saved the Q-tips hoping a lab could tell us what sort of parasite it was.  If I was mind controlled, though, then the Q-tips should have nothing unnatural on them.
Of course, discrediting mind control subjects who come partially conscious and begin to speak out, like I have, is one of the Controllers’ primary goals.  So I’m inclined to believe, if anything finally proves all my concerns are “imagined,” then this was mind control for discrediting purposes.
If my concerns are not discredited, then I’ve experienced something very weird, have some medical concerns, have been treated very rudely by doctors, and need help.
For now, I believe I was deluded, not delusional –  deluded by parties that have an interest in discrediting me, since I have worked for years to blow the whistle on themHere’s how the latest unfolded for me:
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It all began when I used a digital microscope (I highly recommend) to see the surface of my scalp where I believed a microwave shot might have hit me in the head (photos above); if it wasn’t a microwave shot, but something else, I wanted to see it.
I found a perfectly round one, as expected (left), and one that seems to have hit my scalp at an angle (right).  The skin in both cases appears to have been punctured multiple times in a round or parabolic shape.
fibers in hair 2019-08-12 at 4.13.40 PM.png

Fine hairs, a tiny fraction of the width of normal hair, and often curling, are found on my scalp and other parts of my body.

 

Eventually, I had to also acknowledge some things I’d seen but wanted to ignore, like strange fibers that were much finer than hair, and other hair-like things that seemed to act like self-directed periscopes or antennas.

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Odd, blunt-headed hair-like structures all over my body often seemed to move as though perceiving.

 

Other organisms seemed to be swimming in pink and orange puddles of dissolved skin.

And my feet under the microscope seemed to have been punctured in the near-center of every print line at regular distances by some parasite that completely covered the soles of my feet.

Screen Shot 2019-08-12 at 12.45.24 PM

These well-spaced holes cover the soles of my feet.

Since I regularly feel as though I’ve been raped in the night when I wake in the morning, I wasn’t surprised to find I have a genital infection as well.

Some of these made me – and some readers of an earlier post – think of Morgellons, and I wondered when I’d been inoculated with it.

Many fibers 2019-08-12 at 12.47.18 PM sm

This is the one of the 3 worst spots with a quantity of mystery fibers.

Even though only one place on my body had large numbers of fibers, there was at least one strange fiber at every location I set down the microscope, and I felt covered by organisms from scalp to toe, disgusted, and terrified when I considered my life history of doctors seem to be involved in the nighttime amnesic events and to be hostile to me in their daytime offices.

I’d been feeling as though something was wiggling around in my right sinus all day, and it might be related to the sensation I’d had the night before of something crawling up my windpipe into my throat near my left eustacian tube, and then across to the right side before I fell asleep.  I used the otoscope to look down my nasal cavity a few times that day, and suddenly I saw for the first time what appeared to be a long white worm, or maybe a bunch of smaller ones, wrapped around the nasal structure – or maybe it was just mucous.  I wasn’t sure, so I waited for clarity.
Screen Shot 2019-08-12 at 4.03.48 PM.png
After turning my attention to something else, suddenly something new appeared:  fluffy-looking snow-white foam filled the front opening of my right nostril!
It clearly wasn’t mucous.  Maybe the worm or other parasite was real, and it’s just deposited this foam – laid eggs – thankfully where I can remove them easily.  But where is the parasite, and where else might it lay eggs?

To my great surprise, removing the sticky foam wasn’t easy.  When my Q-tip touched the white fluff, it surprised me with its stiffness and stickiness – it had an affinity for skin and did not let go!  This was nothing that could be mistaken for mucous.

Screen Shot 2019-08-12 at 4.25.51 PM.png

“my skin was beginning to bleed and the stuff was still in patches here and there”

I used 5 Q-tips, 10 ends, and had to quit after a few minutes because my skin was beginning to bleed and the stuff was still in patches here and there, impossible to scrape or pull off!  (Days later it seems to have hardened into a tough thin layer of something like shellac.)
(I thought I was videotaping the foam removal but was surprised to find the software hadn’t clicked on.  This still photo is from a video of my attempt to clean up the last bits.)
Screen Shot 2019-08-12 at 2.52.21 PM.pngLooking online for organisms that match my organisms, I have been rather worried to not find them, as that leads me to consider the conspiracy theories about designer organisms being planted in targeted individuals.  Maybe that’s an additional reason why no doctors want to treat me?
And of course, looking for information, I watched some fascinating videos about parasites being pulled from people’s ears and noses, with tools that travel in tiny spaces, videotaping while sucking parasites outI wanted that!
While all the sinus sensations I’d had might be dismissed as imaginary or incorrect interpretation, the white sticky foam at the front of my nostril seemed like something I could not ignore.
It seemed incontrovertible evidence that something potentially dangerous was unfolding and I would be stupid to ignore it.
At the emergency room, the doctor refused to accept that the white foam wasn’t mucous, but for me, it was the clinching reason I was at the ER; something had laid eggs in my head, and was likely to lay more, and some of the foam was still right there inside my nostril, easily available to be collected and sent to some lab for identification.
In exasperation, the doctor offered me a parasiticide, which I took even though I “never” take pharmaceuticals.  Dumbfounded to be not believed, I was comforted only that the parasiticide would kill it and make the issue moot.  (I thought I’d tell the doctor later when I had proof of the parasite’s existence.)  He sent me home with advice on how to treat a sinus condition.
On the Internet the next day, I read about the drug I’d taken, Ivermectin – that it doesn’t kill adult worms.  Fortunately, I was able to see a Naturopath that day who referred me to an Ear Nose and Throat specialist and ordered blood tests of everything she thought pertinent.  I gave my blood, shopped for a liver cleanse, and twice called the ENT who promised to return my calls within 2 hours, but never did, not even the next work day.  When I finally got a through to the office, they told me my Medicaid insurance plan wouldn’t be accepted, and it would even be “illegal” for them to accept cash.  (What???!)
For a second day, I’d felt movements in my right sinus, along with odd pressure points about once an hour, at different places each time.  I imagined worm eggs being laid in various places, sometimes feeling they were puncturing into my inner ear or brain cavity.  My entire head began to feel under pressure.  I asked myself at every point, Am I imagining this?
In recent days I’ve videotaped a lot of oddities on and under my skin:
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green fiber

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orange fiber

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Blood-colored shapes under the skin

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Three punctures inside my cheek, along with a crystalline hair!

Screen Shot 2019-08-12 at 4.02.18 PM sm.pngAnd many, many more fibers, including many that appear crystalline.
The second evening I wondered if there was anything else to do.  Might these be the last days of my life – if worms all hatched in my head one day soon?
Or was I imagining this?  How could I imagine the sticky white fluff, when I’ve saved the Q-tips and have a video of me trying and failing to clean out the last of the impossibly sticky stuff from my nose?  If it wasn’t parasite eggs, what was it, and how did it get there?
Was I mind controlled to go into a programmed altered state to let a mind control handler in the camper who squirted something up my nose (in the middle of the afternoon), then left me to come back to normal consciousness and find it?  Sounds pretty crazy, but it is the way that lots of mind control is done.
What other explanations are there?  Both worms in the head and mind control to make someone think they have worms in their head are both equally disturbing.
Two days feeling worm-like movements in my sinus, I suddenly felt something coming up from my windpipe again – that’s what had happened the night before I noticed the first sinus effects – so I grabbed my digital otoscope, plugged it in with shaking hands, and tried to capture video of whatever was coming up my throat.  My hands shook terribly, and I was unable to calm them down.  Whatever video I hoped to catch was hopelessly blurry.  And then I noticed little squiggles climbing up my throat – not one big worm, but dozens of tiny things springing forward, their bodies in tiny S-shapes!
When I saw those tiny “worms” springing up my throat, it tipped me over the edge. Now we had evidence; the doctors would have to believe.
But I didn’t want to go back to the ER without checking with someone else, so I called the 24-hour medical advice line offered by my insurance company.
Dr. Lu eventually came on the line, but in the intervening minutes, I’d decided that I didn’t trust what I’d seen with my shaky hand-held otoscope, and decided the little “leaping worms” might have actually been artifacts of my shaky hand and dots of light, so I skipped that detail and reported only 1) the sensations of things traveling up my throat from my windpipe, 2) sensations of things moving in my sinuses, 3) the sudden appearance of fluffy white foam in my nostril, and 4) my video of what I believed was a worm wrapped around a structure in my sinus (even though I’d once thought it could possibly be mucous, I’d checked later and thought I’d found it entirely gone one hour and then returned – worm-like, not mucous-like). Dr. Lu wanted to see it, but unfortunately, my computer suddenly went offline, so she told me to go back to the emergency room and show the doctors my photos.
Screen Shot 2019-08-12 at 4.25.51 PM.pngSo I returned, 24 hours later, shaken but confident that a different doctor would see what I saw and not dismiss the clear compelling description I had of the white sticky substance that couldn’t be removed – that was still there for them to take a sample of – and the Q-tips for testing.
When the doctor arrived after hours of my waiting, he sat in a hunched posture with his head bowed, looked at me through harsh, squinting eyes, and began challenging everything I said. He ended with some comment about “mental illness,” and I knew I’d been fooled again into doing what mind control subjects should never do:  give another doctor (potentially in the mind control network) ammunition against my future freedom as a mental healthy person.  I concluded again to myself:  I should never consult Western doctors, no matter how desperate I think the situation.  When the doctor left to finish my paperwork, I left without waiting for him.
The next day, my sinuses were mostly still, but stuffy, and I wondered if the parasiticide had killed whatever it was. With the otoscope, I also noticed there seemed to be a lot of thin white stuff that coated my sinuses in a new way I’d never seen.  (And I’d been looking inside my sinuses almost daily.)  Was it fibers of web?  I followed the hospital advice for a sinus condition and snorted salt water up my nose repeatedly, but it only cleared away what I’d recognized as mucous, while the new white stuff remained untouched.
For the first time I saw the structures of my nose entirely swollen together, the spaces I’d usually peer into were swollen closed.  Now and then, I would sense something wiggle, and I’d wonder if it was just the normal movements of the sinus or if it was a parasite or worm.
I’d remember what I’d learned about life cycles of small organisms:  sometimes major events like egg-laying happen within hours, sometimes days, sometimes years or decades. And I’d wonder what else I should do as a responsible person.
Gathering advice from online, I put peppermint oil on my cheeks and around my ears. I added garlic, onions, and ginger to everything I ate, and hoped that would make my body a poor host for whatever this is.
I didn’t know what else to do.  I don’t know what this thing is.  And I don’t know how it might be related to the other odd organisms I see proliferating in other places on my body.
If I’m delusional, someone explain the white sticky fluff, at least.  And someone take my samples and get them to a lab.
And why were the doctors so adamant, even hostile, about not acknowledging my perceptions?  The whole thing feels like a mind control psy op.
If my experience is of a real parasitic organism, what is it?  Is it a new, secret designer organism?  Will it kill me?  Gruesomely?  How fast?
~
Life is feeling normal again, though my sinuses are still quite stuffy.
I’ve healed the genital infection.
My blood work tells me I’m okay.
The Naturopath was considerate and helpful, and recommends I see a dermatologist to answer what are all the fibers on my body.
And I’ll take the Q-tips to a lab one day when I find one I trust who’ll test them.
I hope I won’t be surprised one day by parasites all hatching in my head.  If they do, and I die, you will all know the backstory, and I’ll ask you to report it to the Flagstaff Medical Center Emergency Room staff.
If nothing ever happens, then I’ll suppose either
1) the parasiticide worked, or
2) there was never a parasite, and it was all my imagination,
a) my own, meaning I have developed a new problem, or
b) someone else’ mind control technology was used to discredit me.
In other words, I’ll continue to live with unknowns and ambiguity.
To do:  Find a dermatologist.

New Development: Mysterious Fibers

Hi Friends,

Two eardrums annotated 2019-06-26 at 6.40.21 AM copy.jpgThis last year has felt very productive. Not only did I sort a lot of possessions, but I also purchased a couple of USB otoscopes and began video documenting the weird technological anomalies in my ears, nose, and teeth, which I have to conclude are probably implants placed by rogue elements of our government, since I’ve felt implants operated in different parts of my body and even had one doctor hear one operated in my heart. (See ParadigmSalonVideo on YouTube.)  Nevertheless, I’ve been trying to keep productive and in a good enough mood to keep my friends and family with me.

rig and fire_6527.jpgIn the spring, I purchased a new camper and truck and moved in by summer and got back to productivity on a couple of important projects, while traveling in cooler country. (And helped a friend prepare to flee a fire.)

Also, I needed to get away from my trailer home in Pearce.  I had purchased a meter and found off-the-charts electric energy fields in my home that I felt was making me sick and lethargic.

When I found a particularly heavy reading in a wall where there were supposedly no wires of any sort, I considered cutting open the wall to see what was there, but decided instead to just leave town! And life has felt better away from home.

Microwave Shot 2019-08-06 at 8.13.13 AM.pngOn August 1, I got out my barely-used USB microscope and for the first time put it on my scalp to document what I thought was a microwave shot to the head.

Putting the microscope all over my body, I found a lot of anomalies, mostly weird fibers emerging from my skin, along with other oddities:

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dots on soles of feet, plus odd fibers

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star patterns of skin on torso, with odd fibers and blood under the skin

 

and curious fibers all over my body, many of which waved around on their own, like little heads looking this way and that.

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fiber under the skin, similar to fibers emerged

Alarmed, I put the microscope on my nether parts and found this lesion, swimming with organisms.  Most infuriating, many of these organisms seemed to have been just put there in a clump – not emerging, just laid on the skin, disconnected!  With my documentation of people entering my home on a regular basis with myself either made unconscious or immobilized, I have to interpret this finding as evidence that someone has been innoculating me with these.

Lesion w worms 2019-08-06 at 8.00.26 AM.png

I’ve spent the last few days now, microscopically videotaping the skin all over my body, finding odd stuff everywhere, researching online, and even talked to one researcher whom I hope will get back to me sometime soon.

Meantime, I’m in a sort of suspended-belief shock.

It is rather weird to be still functioning, but see, microscopically, that your skin is deteriorating and little organisms are eating you. And some of those organisms have behaviors like “looking around.”

Because the medical authorities have denied this condition exists – despite thousands of people having it – makes me believe there’s probably something to the theories that this is a government secret project. Since I clearly have secret technology implanted in my ears, teeth, heart, scapula, genitals, and elsewhere (see past blogs and vlogs), and I’ve ignored their warnings to shut up about it, perhaps they’ve also implanted me with living organisms to make me miserable until I die???

Some say some of these “hairs” are actually antennas – explaining their behavior – connected electronically to the implants.  Who knows?  We can only guess when the government says, “Nothing… delusional.”

For five days now, I’ve been researching, documenting, and keeping almost totally to myself here in our forest camp.  I haven’t told anyone about this except for a few people I’m camping with (very briefly) and two email friends.

I have a researcher calling me back, hopefully soon, and a Naturopath appointment five weeks away.  Meantime, I have work to do: appointment in town, and a day’s worth of errands, tank dumps, and provisioning.  I’ll act like life is normal.

#

 

Reevaluating my implants

Two eardrums annotated 2019-06-26 at 6.40.21 AM copy.jpg

Above left is a photo inside my right ear.  On the right is a photo of one of many “normal inner ear” images on the Internet that look very similar.

The differences I see are these:

  1. First, it appears that the drum – the semi-clear membrane in front of everything including the silver piece – is gone in my ear – though recent photos show it has grown at least halfway back.  I took this photo shortly after the highway incident in which I felt the microwave attack, felt the extreme pressure in my ears which I worked to dissipate by rapidly “popping my ears,” was mentally disabled for a short while (and barely continued driving on the highway), and then when I got home found blood in my ears, which may have resulted in my eardrums being burst.
  2. The first arrow, upper left in my ear (left photo above), points to something like a square dark gray button, which I have a few photos of from months past, but that button is nowhere to be seen now, so I assume it was removed after I posted it.
  3. The next two arrows point to the “cone of light” which seems to have two mechanical pieces attached to the outside of it.   annotated crop cone of light on 4-10-19 at 6.09 PM #3 copy 2.jpg I have been unable to find anything like this in any photo online.
  4. The last two arrows in the photo above point to something that appears similar to small squares of folded aluminum foil.  These have also disappeared from my ears since posting.
  5. Finally, above and below, the wire-like things.  This is a recent photo, but the old one show the same thing:  apparent wires.  I’ve watched videos of the inner ear and heard one doctor state that there are NO hairs this deep in the ear, so I assume they’re artificial.Wires r ear on 6-26-19 at 7.19 AM.jpgWires 2019-06-26 at 7.40.47 AM.png

Thanks for being with me on this journey.

Another highway crash test?

Last night on the highway, my truck was blown sideways by a utility truck that came alongside me and just ahead so that I could read it’s sign and then drifted back. Then it did it again perhaps 20 minutes later.

In October 2017, I experienced a different highway test, twice, before my trailer fishtailed and flipped me on the highway. That time, some other vehicle caused my truck and trailer to fishtail on flat land, something essentially impossible naturally, but they had done something to cause it to happen.

Now I am afraid to drive. The sign on the side of the truck was something like “service security project.” Or “service protection program.” It was a white utility vehicle and the sign was a simple one with red print on white, with no design other than the letters and perhaps a border.

I have often wished to exit this life if I have to be a targeted individual, subject to this ongoing terror campaign. But I do not want to die by a car crash. I don’t want to create an environmental mess and destroy all my possessions.

When I’ve thought of dying, I’ve thought of going to Oregon and signing up for their right to die system. But I have never wanted to die in a car crash. For the record.

And I am right now very afraid to drive this vehicle that I just purchased and just got outfitted with a new camper and I’m ready to get on the road for the first time. My joy is all gone, and I am afraid.

I tried to post a video to go with this but that effort failed.

All My Body’s Implants

My Implant Locations 2.png

Places where I KNOW there is an implant – because I’ve felt them activated or have seen and photographed them – and places where I SUSPECT an implant might be – described and documented below.  (Numbers 5, 9, 11, 13, and 17 might have been left off the list, as they have little evidence.  Numbers 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, and 16 indicate two or more implants.)

1. Top/back crown of head. Often painful and hot.  Anomalous radio frequency readings.

2. Represents implants of unknown number in area often painful and hot.

3. Represents implants of unknown number in area often painful and hot.

4. ear canal tech on 4-10-19 at 6.09 PM #3.jpegBoth ear canals – significant technology can be seen with otoscope, is videotaped and published, appears to attract skin to grow over it (see newest videos); ringing since Dec 2010; unusual experience with ears Oct 27, 2016, followed by sense of water in ear for three days.  Appears to match online description of “Cochlear Implant” in which elements are mounted inside a rubber cup, as this appears to be.

5. Occiput. Unsure.  Associated with altered state once.

6. Back tooth low rt 2019-05-16 at 7.42.47 AM copy.pngBack of back-right-lower tooth appears to have four items stored in geometric order, three vertically, one left of the bottom one, plus a porcelain cap seen in the back, not flush with the tooth.  (Also, tooth above, top right, appears very unhealthy at its base.)

7. Two here:  three dots n sm bubbles 2019-05-11 at 6.02.55 AM.pngImplant in side of tooth, lower left, second from back, with porcelain button cap, videotaped signs of transmitting: patch of white inside stain to right, patch of tiny bubbles in front of mysterious stain dots on porcelain cap, the porcelain cap always curious to hygienists.  Also another porcelain cap between this tooth and the tooth behind, gold-colored in this photo with a layer of tooth cement on top of it.  (And for the record, the tooth above also appears very unhealthy at its base.)  (And I stopped one dentist from placing another implant in a tooth when I discovered the extra hole he’d drilled, and he prompted destroyed the evidence by destroying and removing my tooth.)Screen Shot 2019-05-16 at 7.32.19 AM.png

8. This implanted the day #10 was removed. It tickles now and then.

9. On spine. Theoretical. Think it might be used to pull my spine out of alignment.

10. DSC05230.jpgIn me for over a year. Bruise showed within two weeks, went away within two weeks after it was removed Oct 26, 2014 (resulting tunnel is shown in photo with bruise beside). Tickled a lot.

11. On spine. Theoretical. Think it might be used to pull my spine out of alignment.

12. In my heart or very nearby. My Naturopath heard it in 2006 and was rather disturbed. She appreciated my not pressing her about it, but she confirmed my account after I’d published my book in 2008.

13. Inside left forearm, beneath elbow. Has pressed on a nerve since my 20s or 30s. May be a harmless cyst, but it’s in a location that many people report implants, so it’s suspected.

14. February 8, 2011, I sensed a cut, up alongside my clitoral shaft about 1” or more up inside, where I assume an implant has been placed.  I sensed the cut tissue as soon as I awoke and moved my leg.  Some researchers report these implants are placed specifically for sexual torture, but I’ve never felt it activated while conscious.

15. inside w arrowInside my g-spot, where I have a puncture wound (at arrow, above the obvious laceration – a different harassment) – indicating an implant that some researchers claim is placed in people explicitly to torture their subjects sexually. Arrived in November 2004 and was activated once (before the clitoral cut happened in 2011), lifting me off the bed when I was reading. (I would like this implant removed first.)

16. Implants in both my hands, unsure exactly where, but they cause radio interference when handling an EMF meter and also when interacting with my iPhone.

17. Smaller than pea-sized, left leg, 1” above the ankle, 1” inside from center shin. Arrived between 2001-2003, suddenly a hard lump under the skin, during time of many UFO experiences.

18. Nose button 4 2019-04-15 at 12.04.12 AM.pngFound silver two-layer button in nose, videotaped it; tried unsuccessfully to remove it with a q-tip, disappeared two days later. Also, suspected an implant arrived November 2004, causing nosebleed.

Very strange to realize you’re a cyborg, all wired up, and you never signed up willing.

You were Born into a Sci-fi Scenario

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Inside my ear canal (never approved by me)

What do you do when you wake up and realize you were born into a science fiction scenario, and everyone has conspired to lie about it and tell you you’re not too be taken seriously, despite your science journals and other “documentation,” and they want you to just shut up about this stuff?

You’d been fairly successful in living your life as if everything were normal, even though you knew it wasn’t. You lived in an uneasy tension between 2 worlds: the one that everyone else agreed on, that everything was fine, and it even made you feel good to pretend it; and the other reality that opens up regularly at nighttimeScreen Shot 2015-02-13 at 8.24.02 PM, steals your energy, makes you amnesic, and leaves you with wounds that any doctor might leave, except for one that makes you think it had to have been aliens. That’s why you go along with the pretense that everything’s fine, to take a breather from the intensity of the nighttime.

persephone n hades cropI feel like Persephone, innocent, stolen from the Mother Earth Goddess, and released in seasons, to recover, only to be drug back into Hell again.

All this mythology, of gods and aliens, opened my eyes to realms beyond – which disappeared also when interacting in the world where these things don’t happen, where people don’t even want to know that they happen, even to their own sister or mother; I understand; it’s far too scary to contemplate if you’re not forced to.

What do you do when you wake up, and this is your reality, this science fiction story in which the heroine faces strange demons in strange lands, and has had implants placed all over her body and is made unconscious regularly and has her energy depleted sometimes for days?

18mqxydmchb61jpgSome would say this is a human rights crime, illegal human experimentation. Others would say it’s spiritual warfare. Others alien warfare. Since I think the rogue state may very well be controlled by “aliens,” and everything has a spiritual component, I assume it is probably all three.  And I must fight it on all these levels.

I want to believe I was born into this life because I am strong enough to endure and grow from it, and hopefully will play a positive role in the resolution of this crime on Earth.

Thanks for reading and caring.

Implant in my Tooth?

unhappy tissue 2019-05-11 at 11.37.11 AM.pngI’ve had this thing since the late 1990s (received in Colorado Springs, incidentally).  Occasionally, a dental hygienist will pick at it with a note of confusion in her voice, then quickly shut up and dismiss whatever she’d said.  I always wondered why it caused confusion, but I never looked at it until yesterday – with my nifty (usb connected) otoscope!

First thing I noticed was that it seems to stand out, a bit away from the tooth, with gaps all around – the sort of thing I’d think would make a dentist want to replace it.  But none has ever suggested it.

white flare 2019-05-11 at 11.32.56 AM.pngNext thing I notice is that the tissue at the base it looks very unhappy – as you can see in every photo.

 

 

3 dots white flare 2019-05-11 at 11.34.44 AM.png

 

In one photo, I caught an angle low enough to see what appear to be three tiny dots of stain above a generally-stained area.

 

 

three dots n sm bubbles w arrows 2019-05-11 at 6.02.55 AM crop.png

When I expand the photo a bit, it then appears to be a stain edge around three white dots.

And then I notice that the saliva bubbles at the base of the tooth immediately in front of the three dots, are tiny as if they might be fractured by microwave transmissions from the area of those dots above.

Then notice the gum line farther right – it’s purple!  That indicates a lack of blood flow.  Why?  Microwaves?  I dunno.

Back to the stain, I wonder whether there might be three small transmitters at the three dots, sending out microwave energy which weakens the porcelain enough to allow stains to enter, but somehow immediately at the site of the transmitter, it blasts the porcelain clean – okay theory?  Tell me yours.  You can expand the photo to see the tiny bubbles – a least a dozen.

white flare unhappy tissue 2 2019-05-11 at 6.03.12 AM w arrow.pngFurther, to the right of the presumed implant, in every single photo and video, there is a white flare on the side of my tooth, in the middle of an area that is generally stained.  It’s as if a misdirected stream of microwave energy is blowing out the side and killing all the bacteria trying to make plaque on my tooth.  Any other reason for a spot of perfect white in the middle of a stain, right next to an anomaly that’s also making the tissue very unhappy in one place and purple in another?

 

 

 

 

Ear Canal Implants Update

Hi Everyone,

Sorry I’ve been unable (mind controlled?) to get on the Internet and do simple things like post.  But I’m back and I’m going to try to be more consistent.

Screen Shot 2019-05-10 at 6.37.08 AM.pngI’ve been doing better at my , ParadigmSalonVideo on YouTube, and have a lot of stunning information – like video inside my ears, showing that I’ve been illegally implanted with easily-seen, crazy technology that looks like it may be able to receive and transmit sound (am I a walking spy microphone everywhere I go?) and maybe even control me – I’ve certainly felt it done a few times, though I’ve never known exactly how.

At first I was thrilled to have such excellent evidence of the symptoms I’ve been describing for years.  And I worried the controllers would remove them before I could document them well and learn who owns the frequencies at which they operate.

To my surprise, it seems they upgraded my implants, probably during the night of May 5-6, because they look different than in the first video (second above).  They seem to have incorporated some implants under the skin, creating a structure that blocks half the canal and squeezes the existing elements together; or maybe they were replaced – as the rubber cup that contains it all seems to have changed from clear to yellowish.

It’s shocking to me that they would be so brazen as to upgrade their work even while I’m watching, video recording, and posting it online for all the world to see – IF it’s actually being seen and not hidden by the controllers.  It seems to imply that either 1) my suspicion, which I hope is wrong, is actually true, or 2) there’s something so big coming down in the world that my story will never rise to anyone’s attention.

Other ideas?

Anyone know a doctor or attorney who wants to weigh in on this?

 

Time for Review

Those last ear canal implant photos really shook me, and made me want to put my whole crazy story into a nutshell.  Here it is.

guitarcase "unrecognizable?"

I seem to have been put on the TI list in 2002 when I was doing international media work for the historic, 6-week federal trial Judi Bari v the FBI.  (The FBI was found GUILTY on ALL charges related to – but not including – the 1990 assassination attempt on an environmental activist colleague of mine, Judi Bari, and they feds paid a historic judgement.)

During the trial, I twice experienced waking with my entire body vibrating inside what felt like a “vibrational cocoon,” and my immediate thought was “men in a van with high tech equipment,” and after a second or two of alarm, I went unconscious.

In the 17 years since then, I’ve documented everything anomalous in daily journals, including Taser burns, scoop marks, “donut bruises,” injection bruises, other weird bruises, home break-ins, more vibrational experiences, implants (implanted and removed), tones and chords and even movies played in my head, fingers out of joint, broken toe, back mysteriously and seriously out of alignment, social sabotage, online sabotage, financial sabotage, highway stops, amnesia, and a few events of consciousness while my body was controlled to do things I wouldn’t voluntarily do, and more.

While I lived in the country, the weirdness included a LOT of alien and UFO events, as well as tones, amnesia, immobilization, animal mutilations, and highway stops. When, trying to escape the terror, I moved to a small town, the weirdness changed to include a lot of apparent medical events, such as scoop marks, dentists unnecessarily drilling my teeth and doing other procedures, tones, movies, vibrations, and chiropractic distress. When I fled that locale, the events employed drones, TIPS people, Satanists, and more electronics.

But all this is just one layer on top of a larger story. Just days after the Judy Bari v FBI trial ended, at home, I received an email from a friend who shares a lot of my symptoms, suggesting I check out a few websites, and when I did, I had the answer to a lifetime of weirdness I could never explain; I realized I’d been a mind control subject since childhood.

Mind Control

My father was in the Navy, and adamantly never wanted to talk about it. He was in CASU 33, which has an online discussion group dealing with the “mystery” of this unit. He was also a child actor in Hollywood. And his father was a high-degree Mason. My mother was a “jack Mormon” (fallen away, not a church-goer), and she occasionally took me to that church, where I had mind-blowing experiences for which I’m amnesic, but still remember the rage and distress. I’ve also had one flashback to my babyhood, too young to roll over, in which I was ritually sexually abused, left my body and looked down on the room – with men in a semi-circle, and my mother there, sunk to the floor in horror with her hand over her mouth – so I believe it was a Mormon ritual, not a medical one.

I believe I was chosen for mind control at birth because my birth date is 7-7-52 (7-7-7), on a Monday (Moon day), in the middle of Cancer (Moon Child, ruled by the Moon), and not just on the day of the Full Moon, but within 8 minutes of the precise moment of moon fullness – that’s 2/1,000ths of a degree of perfection – the stuff that Satanists love, and there are Satanists inside the Mormon Church, as well as the military and Masons and the CIA mind control program. I believe my parents were groomed to give me, their first born (or first live-born) child to the mind control program in exchange for some sort of benefit.  I don’t think they had any connection to Satanists, except by this accident of cooperating with the CIA or Mormons.

I have two years of almost total amnesia from age 6-8, the same age that other Monarch mind control subjects have amnesia, or memories of torture. I remember the train trip to New Mexico with my mother at age 6, in which we left my father home with three children under 3 1/2 years, including my sister only 6 months old. Supposedly we went to visit my mother’s aunt in New Mexico, but that makes absolutely no sense. Later, I remember being delivered home by four men in military uniforms, and being silently “beside myself” with rage and betrayal. The next year, at age seven, I was left with my grandmother in California, while the rest of the family left and promised to come back to get me “later.” And that’s about all I recall of those two years, whereas I remember a great deal of the years before.

I was the most obedient child I’ve ever heard of. So it was ironic and a therapeutic change when I became a radical environmental activist in my 30s (1980s), engaged in civil disobedience. But I was on the most conservative edge of the movement.  I was the one who typed letter-perfect media releases, and only once did anything more daring.  For work, I was a community relations consultant to domestic violence organizations, health clinics, community radio, the United Way, and even Earth First! – which eventually took all my time, until Judi’s car bombing in 1990 scared the daylights out of everyone.

Until then, when I set a goal, I accomplished it.  I was invited to the Leaders Circle of Tucson Network for Women.  I was invited to Leadership Tucson, and spoke twice at their events.  I sat on numerous boards.  I successfully debated issues on radio and television.  And ran a business and raised my two kids (who are wonderful and happy).

My life changed like this: In 1993, age 41 (typical age for the return of traumatic memories), I realized I’d been sexually abused as a child, The next year, I realized I was a multiple personality (common, of course, with childhood sexual abuse) – though I’m not the typical TV/movie extreme type. (All the alters created by my controllers only come out under their command, usually with no memory; but I do have other alters, I believe, spontaneously created by me, and also organized in such a way as to not interfere in my life like the extreme cases.) For the next 8 years, I assumed my not-too-bad multiple-ness was a simple by-product of sexual abuse; in 2002, I realized it had been intentionally created for the purposes of mind control. And that was terrifying. For a few years, I thought of suicide every day.

A unique sort of Multiple Personality

Because my alters are so well controlled, I’ve been fairly successful in life, and maybe the mind control even helped me develop my skills. Almost everything I’ve tried, I’ve been very successful at – except socializing. Because I lived with parents who didn’t talk to me much, I didn’t get to learn social skills til very late, and then after one year of kindergarten, I was put into MK for two years. My social education didn’t begin again until I was 8, and I’ve been working to catch up all my life; therefore, I score on the Asperger’s Scale. Like many female Aspies, though, I did learn to “act normal enough” in most social situations, and sometimes I’ve actually been quite successful, but it’s always required great effort.

What I lacked in social skills, I made up for in academics and employment. I usually score on intelligence tests in the genius range. In school, I won awards in art, acting, dancing, and theater design, and was one of the two top math students in my 3,000-student high school. In my professional life, I’ve won awards or recognitions in sales, fundraising, journalism – and some of these were regional and national recognitions. I’ve been offered six-figure salaries. I’ve taught English at university level and been executive director of a local Habitat for Humanity, overseeing both a store and a home building operation. I’ve designed and built houses and juried into art shows. In some ways, it seems the mind control has served me, or maybe I was already a genius and they just took advantage.

I was married twice, and almost a third time, and have been in other relationships with men that lasted for years, always to men I can see now were also MK subjects who participated in my control, knowingly or unknowingly, helping direct the course of my life. My most recent partner, after I kicked him out, I realized he’d been responsible for the injection bruises that I found on my thighs twice a week for 14 months – they ended when he moved out.

I’m on my own again now, and think I will always be. I’ve had all my lifetime’s financial gains stripped from me, through a series of legal improprieties that I was unable to fight successfully – though I tried, doggedly. I used to have a passive solar home on 20-acres of beautiful land with a creek. Then I had another passive solar home in a small town that I’d turned into a showcase with natural plaster interior sculpture and a magical garden. I was terrorized to flee from it all.  Now I have a fifth-wheel in a trailer park and a little truck camper for traveling. And no savings, vulnerable, just like They like it.

Anyway, that’s the overview: TI and MK subject, which includes being multiple (an unfortunate fact that’s unfairly discrediting), with Satanists involved – which some people also find unbelievable and therefore discrediting.

I therefore try to be very careful with my accounts, distinguishing perceptions from assumptions, and documenting everything like a scientist. For awhile my journals were even pure science journals, kept according to scientific protocol.

A few nights ago I finally was able to take photos from deep inside my ears with my new USB-connected otoscope – and I found 4 or 5 implants attached just around the bend. (I recommend others try this too.)

wH1EQ1xPT92C1zYWQM%vDw_thumb_1723.jpg

Note the square “button,” top left, the square tab or two, below right, and the funnel-shaped thing in the middle.  Anyone venture a guess what that is?

In past years, I’ve documented in various ways implants that I’ve felt activated, or otherwise felt the presence of – in my g-spot, up alongside my clitoral shaft, in my heart (a doctor was shocked to hear it), on my left scapula, and more.  All of them were weird, or infuriating, but they were tiny and couldn’t be seen, and easier to push out of my consciousness.  These ear canal implants are freakier and are affecting me in a deeper way it’s hard to ignore.

With almost two decades of journals compiled into a database, I’m now working to find patterns and themes and otherwise trying to make the best use of the information.

I offer this data to researchers too.

My ear canal implant blogs are here:

https://paradigmsalon.net/2019/04/07/ear-implants-serious-trouble/

https://paradigmsalon.net/2019/04/10/ear-implants-more-discovered/

Thank you for educating yourself.  May we all grow in greater consciousness and wisdom.

 

 

Ear Implants – More Discovered

I’m so upset by what I’ve discovered, I can hardly type.  I found another button-type implant in my left ear.

Gxsdn7UxTq+WsJJRXUWNJA_mini_1722.jpg

And I when pushed the otoscope in deeper, I found more than I can make sense of.  At first, I thought the black button above and silver button below were one and the same, just a trick of light, but I see now that the black one is clearly round, and the silver button is clearly square, so that makes two.  Then there’s something that looks like a tin-foil covered funnel shape with a base and tiny machinery built into the sides.  And below that there’s what looks like a tiny square fold of aluminum. That makes four….

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From another angle, the square aluminum actually seems to be two squares, one below the other.  That makes five.  There may be more, but I’m not sure how much might be light flaring off of simple ear hairs.  (I never knew I had so much!)

Just before finding this, I’d found what seems to be a crystal embedded in the outer portion of my ear canal.  I’ve touched it there with my fingernail for a least a year and thought it was a pimple; with the otoscope, I found this crystal and took multiple pictures of it from different angles.  It looks like a natural crystal pushed into my skin.
wSzEJtzKR1aSQYRlvx2heA_thumb_1725.jpg

Then, after I’d published this, the next night I found yet another implant, in the very bottom of my ear canal, with a hint of an aluminum square in the background.  That makes six, in one ear canal!  I’m beyond words.

tXr1e5PeQfqHcUGbJZYUkQ_mini_1728.jpg

For years, I’ve “known” I had implants in my ears and other places, but confirming it now – and finding the evidence so unexpectedly weird, with multiple iterations of the technology all in one ear – has really shocked me.

And I haven’t even had time to tell you about the second major microwave attack I felt two nights ago….

Ear Implants Serious Trouble

Hi Friends,

I’m sorry it’s been so long since I’ve posted. As you might surmise, I’ve been dealing with some challenges.

The latest is my ears – which have never in my life given me problems, but they’re a mess now, and the doctor didn’t seem interested in offering me anything but Flonase (a common sinus pharmaceutical) to reduce swelling. Not a word about the apparent blood sitting in the bottom of my ear canals or the redness.

Photo on 4-7-19 at 11.29 AM

As you can see, the pale skin turns to pink and further back it appears to be maroon. There is a pool of shiny reddish black on the bottom and reaching out into the canal – so shiny there’s a clear reflection of the otoscope LED light in every photo of both ears!

And what’s that whitish solid-looking object at the back of the pool in the first photo? I’m tempted to say it’s an implant – round, flat against the wall, more than 1/2 submerged in blood – or maybe it’s an artifact, another light reflection.  What do you think?

Photo on 4-7-19 at 11.29 AM #2.jpg

In all the photos, there is a reflection of the otoscope light somewhere on the apparent pool of blood!  Does anyone think this could be anything other than a pool of blood?

I’m probably being silly, but:  Apologies for exposing the wax in my ears! They’ve been too swollen for me to do my usual Q-tip cleaning (even though doctors always say don’t do that, I’ve been doing it all my life – with a particular, careful technique – and never had a problem).

Now, I can’t clean them, and it bugs me! I hate having dirty ears, but dirty, swollen, and bloody is pretty upsetting to me.

But that’s not the most important issue.

Microwave energy

Researchers tell us that microwave energy – which is what ear implants receive and transmit – can cause cancer if exposed to it constantly. So being implanted with them will create a constant health threat – that we MK subjects can do nothing about.

I remember the health care professional who looked in my ears (after dismissing the photos I’d shown her) and then didn’t want to look for longer than a second or two and didn’t want to acknowledge there was anything strange. I imagine her seeing my ears, maybe even recognizing the implant, and knowing she’d come across a (another?) top secret subject of the government and knew there was a protocol to follow: She’d diagnose and prescribe as little as she could, and get rid of me. If I needed care, the controllers would take care of it on their own schedule.  Maybe she even called a secret number.

I don’t know. That’s where my years of personal data collection, occasional online research, and reading of a half-dozen books leads me. I’m open to other interpretations. Please – I’d love your opinions.

Back Story

The first time I thought I might have been given ear implants was in November 2010. I was working hard to finish the 3-minute video for my book, and this event felt like either retribution or a warning, but I still went forward and published it – and had thousands of views, though the numbers have been running backward over the years.

As a MK subject, I know many of us are created for different purposes, and those purposes can change depending on how well our programming is holding up. Since I was working concertedly to disrupt my programming, I believe they shifted me over to other sorts of research, including being a test subject for various sorts of electronic weaponry and MK technology; therefore, I’ve experience a very wide range of electronic effects on my body.

One of the first ones I recognized and documented was that November 2010 evening. I was sitting sideways on my love seat, reading, with my feet resting against the other end of the seat, when suddenly I felt a distinct circle, about 3 1/2” across, of vibration on my foot, not uncomfortable, just odd, which then began traveling up my ankle and lower leg. Quickly, I pulled my leg toward me and my foot out of the beam’s reach, but within seconds it had found my foot again, this time closer to my body, so I jumped off the seat and stood looking at my furniture and thinking. I was sure that if I sat in any other piece of furniture, the beam would find me, and I didn’t feel like being disrupted repeatedly, ridiculously, futilely. I thought of going to a motel for the night, but I didn’t want to spend the money, and I didn’t have any confidence it would ultimately stop this from happening, either there tonight, or here tomorrow.

It made the most sense to me to accept my fate, go to bed, and let it find me there. I lay down, thinking I’d feel it on my foot, and it would be dreadful anticipating its ultimate whatever-it-was-intending-to-do. To my surprise, there was suddenly a huge circular spot of vibration, about 12 inches across, completely encompassing my head, without needing to find me, as if they’d already mapped where I usually slept.  My surprise turned quickly, within the second, to the recognition that I was going unconscious.

The next morning, I woke up with my ears ringing, and they’ve never quit.

New Implant

About two years ago, after I’d lost my home (due to being terrorized out of there), I was living in a little travel trailer, standing in front of my sink, next to my bed, when I suddenly had the surprising realization that I was REALLY tired, and felt the distinct decision that I’d do something extremely rare for me – I’d take a nap – only I didn’t get to climb into bed before I simply fell on the bed and went unconscious.

Three hours later, my phone rang and woke me from such a stupor that I could barely make intelligible statements. Thank goodness it was a friend calling, one of the very few in my life who acknowledge what I’m living with, and she helped me come to terms with what had happened – and the frustration that I could barely contain the constant urge to shake my head because it felt like there was water in my left ear. The urge stayed for three days, during which time I imagined my controllers had planted an implant in my ear which was causing the sensation, or maybe they’d even punctured my ear drum to place one behind, where it would be cleverly hidden from doctor sight.

New Hum

After that, a new type of hum has been fairly constant in my left ear, leading me to want to purchase the video otoscope (less than $20 online, works with any camera app) to see if I could capture any evidence of an implant.

There are times the humming is constant and intense, and I’ve tried ear plugs, which does create a white noise that softens the effect a bit. On the worst days, I’ve tried heavy-duty layers of foil over my head, but it seems the transmission can be bounced from different angles and eventually finds a way in, and sometimes it feels like the aluminum is reflecting and multiplying it, and I throw it off.

Sometimes prayer works.

Most of the time, I just try to ignore it, and sometimes I take my own advice and try to think of this as a spiritual challenge – and then I try to find other wavelengths to which to entrain my mind, trying to disconnect from the entrainment of that particular vibration, and sometimes I feel I’ve been successful.

There have been many other events with my ears, but those are the major ones since the controllers (as I imagine it) put me on the Electromagnetic Subject list.

Again, I welcome all insights. I certainly don’t have time to do a lot of research, so if you reference anything technological, please include some source material. Thanks!!

Tinnitus, Targeting, and the Cuban Diplomats

When I heard that a number of American diplomats in Cuba (25 or more!) had been attacked with electronic warfare technology, I was slightly encouraged, that now maybe people would pay attention to those of us who’ve been suffering the same for years, and been only ignored.
A couple of weeks ago I was hit by something similar – while driving! – thankfully only for a few seconds, I assume.  I posted a 4-minute video about it here:  https://youtu.be/SQ-XtavMvnM.
Screen Shot 2018-12-25 at 4.42.24 PM.png
Today I learned a medical research team has published a report on the Cuban diplomats (https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1002/lio2.231).  Those with a research bent might appreciate reading it.
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Here’s the introductory summary, the Abstract:
Background:
In the Autumn of 2016, diplomatic personnel residing in Havana began to present with symptoms of dizziness, ear pain, and tinnitus that emerged after perception of high frequency noise and/or a pressure sensation. Understanding the acute symptoms of this disorder is important for better defining the disorder and developing optimal diagnostic, preventive, and treatment algorithms.
Objectives:
To define the presenting symptoms in a cohort of patients in the acute time period after perceiving a noise/pressure exposure in Havana.
Design/Settings/Participants:
Review of 25 symptomatic individuals who reported a localized sensation of noise/pressure and 10 asymptomatic individuals (roommates of those affected) who did not experience the sound/pressure.
Results:
Immediately after the exposure, the majority of individuals reported intense ear pain in one or both ears and experienced tinnitus. All of the individuals noticed unsteadiness and features of cognitive impairment. On presentation to our center, dizziness (92%) and cognitive complaints (56%) were the most common symptoms. Formal testing revealed that 100% of individuals had an otolithic abnormality and evidence of cognitive dysfunction.
Conclusion and Relevance:
This study focuses on the acute presentation of a phenomenon in which symptoms emerge after perception of a localized noise/pressure and in which the acute symptomology includes the universal nature of vestibular injuries and select cognitive deficits. The findings presented in this acute group of patients begin to provide a better picture of the initial injury pattern seen after this exposure and may allow for more accurate diagnosis of this disorder in future cases.
Thanks for reading, liking, sharing ~ all that.  Peace.

Great Podcast: “In the Dark”

Podcasts let us listen on our phone while washing dishes, walking to the mailbox, driving to town.  Or we can sit on our sofa – away from the computer – lights off, eyes closed, a fine radio production washing over.

“In the Dark” is a quality production worth this attention.  I’m grateful those radio professionals are in the world today.  Each episode makes me hungry for the next.  And it’s all true investigative journalism, told well.

The series exposes suspiciously negligent police work – something some of us need to be reminded happens sometimes.

Season 2 takes on another case, and I’m in the midst of bingeing through the second season now.

It’s satisfying to hear an example of this widespread horror exposed.

 

Aspie, Mind Control Subject, and Multiple Personality – in Healing

What does it mean to be Aspie? Someone with Asperger’s Syndrome.

I’m an Aspie. And I’m so much a happier person now that I know why I’m different, and that my difference is something I can enjoy for all it’s good aspects and not worry about the so-called negative aspects. It’s like – Why should the Mesquite be anxious that she’s not as tall as the Sequoia? She has her own work to do, sending down roots 100’ into the ground and sharing it with her habitat mates.

How do we become Aspie? Pick your choice: 1) heredity, 2) lack of childhood nurturing, 3) alien injection of Spock-like DNA into our genetic pool to make us more rational, less emotional (read violent), all the above, none of the above and in fact it’s because [fill in the blank].

My Aspie-ness came as a result of childhood trauma, a side-effect of having been made a mind control subject, MKULTRA-like, some collaboration with the Mormon Church and our government. I was made a multiple, which is the foundation upon which mind control is implanted, and I created a few of my own alters, something common in the research, which allowed me to tolerate some intolerable situation in the moment and left me with more parts inside me that had to be organized into the fold, to learn to cooperate and act “normal.” Pretty much, I succeeded.

It seems that no matter what I need to do, I have a part inside who the whole of me agrees is the best to execute it, and somehow I win awards in almost everything I’ve tried, excepting a few memorable failures. I’ve won awards or other national recognitions in: art, writing, journalism, real estate, fundraising, and videography. in a sense I’m what they call a “high-functioning multiple personality” – but not all the time. There’s all those alters created by our government – to do what, I don’t know.

I’ll pause here to let you consider that.

I don’t want to tell you what I think that could mean.

I just want you to know that, despite everything done to me, I’m a person of integrity. But I really don’t know about the parts created in those experiments – for which I’m almost totally amnesic.

I used to be extremely distressed about this, to the point that I thought of suicide daily for a year and a half. Over the years, my philosopher part has developed many reasons to stay here on Earth, despite all.  I believe I was born into this exact situation for a purpose, and even if I don’t understand it now, I should stay and try to understand. If I want to refuse that command, I’m threatened with the New Age folklore that I’ll have to come back and live this life again, which I don’t want to do, and so I reason, I made it this far; it’s won’t be much longer, and besides I’ve already had a few heart attacks. I don’t think I’ll live that long.

As long as I’m here (or anywhere), I want to be of service. I figure the best revenge against the experimenters who messed with me is to live a good life anyway. So, here I am in Sunsites, Arizona, retired, volunteering here and there, and taking care of my affairs so that when I die my kids don’t have too much of a mess.

If I end up living long, well, then I’ll assume I have things to do, and I’ll be praying to follow heavenly direction.

As an Aspie, I can’t take on too much social interaction.  I might have the mental ability to contribute significantly to any number of problems, but I don’t have the foundation for too much social interaction.  I think for most of my life, I’ve tried to push past my limits, trying to become more “normal,” and suffered a great deal of unnecessary stress. It might have been better for me to have continued spending a majority of my time alone. I would have been happier, and I might have contributed more to the world. But the world wanted me “normal” instead.

I’m enjoying my differences now. And as I sort through my possessions, I’m putting together my awards and favorite publications and accomplishments. And feeling I’ve lived a good life despite all. I sometimes wonder if my mind controllers think they might get some credit for their work. I don’t know what I think about that. Most of the time I feel like someone whose life has been highjacked – and there’s nothing I can do about it, so I might as well keep quiet and see what else I might learn or how else I might grow in regards to this. And continue to live a good life.

My Aspie nature means I have a good mind and am very good at complicated puzzles. I design businesses in my mind for fun. Have designed a half-dozen homes. I design clothes. I create. I love my life, sometimes. When my health is good and I am caught up with the basic requirements of life, I love to putter around in my home, creating art or gardening. It’s only when the weird stuff happens that I want away.

The weird stuff first increased against me late in 2011, and it has only accelerated since then (excepting this current month, a later story). Suddenly weird stuff seemed constant: I was hit by beams in my house, sometimes making my ears ring, other times vibrating me, or creating tones, sometimes putting me to sleep and sometimes waking me up; waking with “scoop marks” and Taser burns, and also waking totally disabled, unable to walk or control my bladder. I had just produced a video about being made a mind control subject, and I assumed this was my controllers punishing me, for which I was intent to ignore them. “Land of Free Speech,” I thought.

When I published a blog about this new treatment, someone called me a Targeted Individual, which I’d never heard of. I learned about it when my blog received a sudden spike in views from a site called TargetedIndividuals101. I had no idea that thousands of people around the nation were also being subjected to beams, ear-ringing, and more, and many were whistleblowers like me, though not all.

Over the years, I’ve wondered whether the mind controllers were doing their own punishment or if they contracted that out to another organization, Recently I learned from a former FBI agent who has gone on public record that the things done to Targeted Individuals comprise a project in the files of the FBI and NSA.

It was a shock to realize somebody put me on the Targeted list, as it goes so against my lifelong assumptions about living in the Land of the Free, but I’ve come to accept it; the hardest part now is accepting that so many other people still might blindly accept that I’m a bad person because someone said so – because someone else told them so, and really it’s because I told the truth about something that should be stopped, and that caused someone to lose money.

But I still want to live a good life, contributing to my community, but also getting the time alone I need (letting all my parts consolidate the meaning of each day, helping inner children understand, refining cooperation between my parts, etc), enjoying nature, getting exercise, and hopefully helping my parts heal. And continuing to pray for the dismantling of any alters that might have programming to do bad things – that’s what the research suggests is going on: creating spies, soldiers, assassins, and sex workers. And, to tell the truth, I’ve had some strange experiences that incline me to believe they’re proof I’ve been trained in a few of those skills (another story).

But I still want to have a good life. And goodness implies integrity. So, as much as I’d love to keep all this craziness a secret, I’ve decided I owe it to my community the fact that I’m a mind controlled subject, and I might have alters who do things at night when I’m unconscious, and hopefully not during the day, but I don’t know. And by telling you now, I feel I’ve only begun to exercise my duty to disclose what I know.

What I know about our government’s interest in mind control should also be of great value to everyone. I’ve written a well-regarded book about my experiences, recorded videos and audios, collected documentation, and I’m open to answering questions. I hope people will want to avail themselves of my resources while I’m still here.

 

Grace Christian’s testimony

Here is an excellent article, written by a medical intuitive about her targeting:

https://www.collective-evolution.com/2018/05/13/meet-a-targeted-individual-woman-shares-her-experience-with-directed-energy-weapons-more/

The following article comes from L. Grace Christian (www.GraceMedicalIntuitive.com), a medical intuitive and ‘targeted individual’ I have interviewed and been in regular communication with since the publication of my article, “US Government Accidentally Releases Electromagnetic Mind Control Documents In FOIA Request.”  I [Richard Enos, orginal post] have edited the information she has provided but in essence these are her words, representing her struggles and triumphs in dealing with the devastating effects of ‘gangstalking’ and directed energy weapons.

 

First, I want to acknowledge and honor all the individuals enduring the ongoing torture of being a ‘targeted individual,’ especially those who have experienced it for many years.

Awareness about ‘targeted individuals’ is still in its nascent stage. A growing number of people such as myself report having both been stalked and harassed by others, and subjected to satellite-based directed energy weapons that penetrate the mind to simulate sounds and conversations. Yet such claims continue to evoke skepticism on the part of the general public, with victims often being seen as paranoid schizophrenics.

I write this not only to bring awareness and credibility to the claims of targeted individuals, but also to offer my insight into the strategy I have adopted to mitigate this ongoing invasion into my life.

 Why Was I Targeted?

It seems as though individuals are targeted because some powerful force like the Deep State wants to disrupt the ability those individuals may have to disclose information or otherwise influence people in ways that expose or impede Deep State agendas. While this may not be true of all targeted individuals, I can point to several reasons why I might have been targeted by those who feared what I may know. After all, just before the torture I have endured over the past 15 years started,

  • I had just taken a part-time consulting job with 2 men formerly in Jimmy Carter’s White House Administration
  • I had a Palm Pilot (yes, no smart phones then) that had just been loaded with Pres. Jimmy Carter’s cell phone number, multiple U.S. Senators’ and Congressmen’s numbers, and national lobbyists numbers
  • I was one of the first people to sign a petition to prevent the Patriot Act from passing
  • I had been helping women who were escaping Satanic Cult families
  • I was an intuitive who could see inside the human body
  • I had a growing number of followers

My Experiences As A Targeted Individual

My experiences as a targeted individual are far too numerous to list, but I will cite a few examples here to give people a better idea of the nature of the experience.

Stalked inside stores/malls. November 19, 2017: I was in the Ross Store at 95-221 Kipapa Dr, Mililani, HI 96789, and I experienced no less than 5 employees following me in the store, and coming right up to me and saying “Hello” right in my face and three of them deliberately bumped into me. This started as soon as I entered the store and continued until I left the store. April 6, 2018: I was shopping in a Longs Drugs (CVS) at 4211 Waialae Ave., Honolulu, HI when two employees started followed me just at the end of the aisle I was in or on the next aisle over and were shouting back and forth to each other about shoplifters in the store and that ‘this one was one of the bad ones.’ April 26, 2018: While I was in the Kahala Mall in Honolulu between 12:30 and 1:30pm, I was followed by two security guards, a male and a female.  The male kept staring at me throughout the entire time they were stalking me.  At, 1:14pm, while I was seated in a common area of the mall, I finally took out my cell phone and took a video of them walking around me and him staring again and again.

Followed by black helicopters. Several times I would be driving in traffic and a black helicopter came right on top of me, hovering as I stopped at a traffic light, moving with me as I moved down the road, even waiting as I went in and out of a building.

Had my apartment broken into. In the early days of experiencing this, while I lived in the Hillsborough Apts. in Mission, KS, the service and grounds men would arrive on their golf cart to my apartment each and every time I would leave my door.  They would be walking toward the front door of my apartment as I was pulling out.  Sometimes I would wait to see where they were going and they would always stop and stand to the side of my door or at my neighbor’s door until I left.  When I would get back, there would always be the smell of cigarette smoke in my apartment as one of the men smoked. Once, after I installed an alarm in my apartment, the staff broke into my apartment and then had the office staff call me on my cell phone saying that there was a flood in the apt above mine and they needed to stop damage in my apt. so they entered without my permission.  They wanted me to give them the code to turn off the alarm as it was too loud.  I refused to do so and headed back immediately from about 10 minutes away.  When I got there, they were gone and the alarm had stopped. Often, I would find small things missing from my apartment—such as small semi precious stones, books, and decorative items.

These experiences reflect a phenomenon called ‘Organized Gang Stalking’. Individually, these experiences could be written off as incidental. But the persistence and sinister quality of these experiences has left no doubt in my mind that powerful forces are systematically trying to destabilize me and cause me to live in a constant state of fear and anxiety. Here’s information from a group called Organized Stalking Informers:

Organized Gang Stalking is a hate crime erected in a system. Different individuals are used and manipulated in order to produce a specific action. But all those involved are not necessarily aware that they are being manipulated. In fact, most are not aware of the lies that are actually the base of the Organized Gang Stalking, everything is done to ostracize and destroy targeted individual victims.

To do this, the perpetrators use several techniques for manipulating individuals and public opinion. Due to false evidence to support their lies, innocent targeted individual Victims are perceived as outcasts of society.

Have you been approached by someone who has asked you to not associate with a certain individual whom they quietly pointed out to you? Warned you about an alleged criminal past or deviant activity and predisposition of the individual?

Perpetrators of Gang Stalking recruit and manipulate any number of other unsuspecting citizens to assist them in targeting a lone, unsuspecting individual, in an overall ceaseless effort of directed psychological torture.

If you have been asked to “do good” for the community, realize instead that there is a high possibility you been deceived and sucked into a cult-like group from where only illegal activity affecting innocent people results. You have basically been lied to about the target and whatever atrocity they’ve been falsely accused of, such is the power of suggestion.

Gang Stalking is used to paint the target (individual) in a criminal light through the spreading of vicious rumors, with common fake allegations being that the target is a wife beater, an abuser, a child molester (this is a favorite used against women too and not only men), a prostitute, drug-user, a racist, an impostor at their place of worship, is mentally unstable, acts weird, or is a thief.

Directed Energy Weapons

However, of all the devices and methods I’ve experienced as a targeted individual, directed energy weapons are the most horrific and jarring. It is like someone raping your mind—and no one believes you.  No one else can hear the noises or voices being beamed inside your head.

We each have a unique brainwave frequency. With directed energy weapons technology, your brainwaves are locked onto and a frequency is beamed to your skull by way of satellite.  Somewhere in the world, someone is sitting at a laptop controlling a satellite that sends certain frequencies to your skull.  These frequencies are heard by you inside your head–but, by no one else. This frequency can be a voice speaking to you, noises that are very loud and sudden, or anything that may cause you anxiety.  They can also cause you to go unconscious, as has happened to me a few times.

As a medical intuitive, I’ve come into contact with other targeted individuals. One of my clients was a single woman who was gang-raped while in the military, and after reporting the offense through the proper channels, her torture began.  Directed energy weapons were used on her and organized terrorism followed.

The following are my personal experiences of directed energy weapons:

I first began to notice the effects of these weapons when I lived in the Hillsborough Apts., in Mission, KS in 2004.  I would hear what sounded like someone walking around in the apartment above me following me everywhere I went in my apartment.  It sounded like soft footsteps on the carpet in the apt above me.  It freaked me out and caused me to feel unsafe in my own home. When I told one of my friends, an older man known in the Kansas City community as Red Crow, he could not understand it and did not believe me. Later, after listening to Dr. John Hall on Coast to Coast, I understood that this was something that was regularly done with this technology. There was nobody above me actually walking on the floor; this noise was being simulated in my head by some outside force. This noise continued the entire time I lived there until I moved out a year later.

Another memorable example of experiencing this was when I was staying at my Mother’s home in Farmington, MO in late 2010 and early 2011. I would hear loud clicking and banging noises in my head during the middle of the night. Sometimes the sound was like someone clicking a retractable ink pen on and off, over and over, and at other times it sounded like constant banging on a table with a device. At times, I could hear muffled voices in the background. I did mention these experiences and others like them to my mom, but she refused to believe me. This was so common an occurrence that I practically gave up sharing my experiences with people.

Impact of the Attacks

As a direct result of these experiences, and my various attempts to deal with them, including sharing my experiences with others who I thought I could trust, I have been rejected by my family, rejected by friends, clients have been frightened away, and I have been brought to financial ruin.

I spent many years trying to understand what was happening.  I did some research. The idea that some individuals are targeted to be used as lab rats to experiment with this technology resonated with the arbitrariness of some of my experiences.

I was able to get together with people who were experiencing the same thing. While listening to everyone else’s personal stories brought a bit more clarity, and confirmed what I already knew intuitively—that I wasn’t just imagining things—a lasting solution did not come from this collaboration. In fact, I felt more powerless and victimized than ever.

My Turning Point

In leaving the group, I realized that I would have to look for the solution within myself. This was a daunting task, but it helped that I had been practicing meditation for over 20 years and had a fairly clear sense of myself.

Through my spiritual understanding and my work as a Medical Intuitive, I believe that my soul chose this experience. And the more I thought about that, the more I realized that if my soul chose this experience, then I must have also believed that I had the ability to transmute it as well.

That knowledge led to my turning point.

I decided to do whatever I could to empower myself, to come to a place of transmuting this experience of torture and isolation.

First, I had to find a way to raise my frequency—in spite of the torture I was experiencing. I had listened to Gregg Braden’s Beyond Zero Point where he recounts a passage from the Dead Sea Scrolls, teaching us that during our deepest, darkest hours, we would come to know our greatest strength by reaching deep down inside ourselves to access what previously we did not know was there.

I held onto that possibility like a life raft.

I began forcing myself to raise my own frequency by using the teachings of Neville, the great mystic, that ‘feeling is the secret.’  I would cause myself to experience the feeling of being ‘overjoyed.’  Crazy, right?

Generating Joy

This is obviously but one way of raising internal vibration, and each person will have to find a way that works for them. What I did was focus on a feeling—a  feeling of being ‘overjoyed’—the way I would feel if all of these wonderful things were happening to me. It is very hard to focus on this type of experience while also being targeted, but each of us has the capacity to do it. I start to imagine that right here and now, where I am in the moment, I have just received the most incredible news that brings me freedom and extreme happiness. I start to just allow myself to feel the way I would feel if I were completely overjoyed that “all of these wonderful things are happening to me now!”  I do not let myself try to figure out HOW this could be – I just imagine that indeed all of these wonderful things are happening to me NOW! I got this idea from one of Neville’s books called “The Law and The Promise” in the chapter entitled Moods.

At first, it was so difficult to generate joy for myself. I had experienced torture, isolation, and poverty for so long, and to such extremes, that I could not remember what joy felt like. When I could finally cause myself to bring it forth, I could only maintain it for a couple of seconds.  Still, I practiced from time-to-time throughout the day. Slowly, I began to hold the frequency for longer and longer periods.

Eventually, I could feel the feeling of being ‘overjoyed’ wash over me in waves – for up to a minute at a time. At this point, I began to experience the effects of the direct energy weapons less and less.

(editor’s note: it has been stated by whistleblower/scientific genius Pete Peterson in disclosures to researcher David Wilcock that ‘if your brainwaves were reliably operating above a certain speed, or frequency, <these weapons> won’t work on you. This again underlines the extreme importance of remaining calm, free of negative emotions, meditative and peaceful. This causes your brainwaves to smooth out on the EKG, which actually generates a higher frequency.’)

Manifesting From The Heart

Secondly, I discovered the importance of learning to manifest from the heart space instead of the head.  I was shown this through my clients, but it was brought home through the book “Living In The Heart” by Drunvalo Melchizedek.

Our heart has its own field with an energy of Oneness or Unity—unlike the polarity that exists in the field in and around the rest of our being.  In the space of oneness—the sacred space of the heart—we can manifest a different reality for ourselves.  When we manifest in our mind, we are creating in “polarity” so we create what we desire and also the opposite of what we desire.  When we move our awareness inside our heart space to pray or meditate, we are manifesting in pure love, and only what we desire is created.

Targeted Individuals Unite

If targeted individuals can raise their frequency even for a few minutes each day, I feel we can turn the tide on the power and secrecy of this, and bring it out to the world to be exposed, eliminated, and healed.

I believe there is a reason that so many tens of thousands of people from all over the world are experiencing this.  That reason may be two-fold. First, if only a few people were to bring this up, they may be dismissed as being crazy, but if tens of thousands from around the world were to all describe the same thing, then it cannot be ignored or dismissed. So, there had to be many, many of us who would agree to experience this and speak our truth. Secondly, I feel those of us who are going through this have a greater power to transmute this by moving our frequency out of fear and into joy. When tens of thousands of people all shift their frequency to that degree, the entire population will be affected.

If you are a Targeted Individual, let’s all come together, not to commiserate our victimhood, but to take back our power and have a positive impact. The hardest thing you will ever do may be to consistently raise your frequency out of fear and into a place of love and appreciation; but this is what we MUST do to transmute this experience for ourselves and for humanity. I believe each of our souls chose this experience for us to turn the tide.

US Info on Targeting

I have not researched this myself, but merely copied from “Citizens Against Harmful Technology,” but it seems to contain an extensive summary of basic information on this subject, including information from the US Congressional Office of Technology Assessment, with patent numbers and actions taken by Congress to try to protect subjects.

Categories of Surveillance/Harassment Technologies
(Source – US Congress Office of Technology Assessment)

Electronic Eavesdropping Technology – (Audio Surveillance)

• Radiating devices & receivers (e.g. miniature radio & ultrasonic transmitters)
• Non-radiating devices (eg wired surveillance systems including phone taps and concealed microphones)
• Tape recorders
• Laser-facilitated listening devices, rifle mikes and other “remote ” equipment (incl. satellites)
N.B. Even phones can be made “hot on the hook” i.e. turned into microphones when not in use.

Optical/Imaging Technology – (Visual Surveillance)

• Photographic techniques (incl. zoom lens and infra red cameras)
• Television (e.g. closed circuit)
• Night vision devices (e.g. image intensifiers)
• Satellite based viewing (up to and including the monitoring of writings as they are written; indoors)
• Aircraft facilitated viewing

Computers & Related Technologies – (Data Surveillance)

• Microcomputers – decentralization of machines and distributed processing
• Computer networks
• Software (eg. expert systems)
• Pattern recognition systems
• Voice Activated & thought activated computers (incl. “remote” equipment)
The NSA covertly monitors every call, fax, e-mail, telex and computer data message. The relevant computers search for key words/phrases. Anything/anyone of interest is drawn to the attention of agency operatives. This can lead to a large scale personal surveillance operation by the NSA or other agencies; like the CIA and their criminal connections. The current system is called ECHELON.

Sensor Technology

• Magnetic sensors
• Seismic sensors
• Infra red sensors
• Strain sensors
• Electromagnetic sensors (incl. brain wave sensors)

Other Devices and Technologies

• CB radios
• Vehicle location systems (incl. satellite tracking)
• Machine readable magnetic strips
• Polygraphs
• Voice stress analyzers
• Laser interception devices
• Cellular radio
• Anti personnel weapons – sonic and phasar weapons as well as psychotronic weapons; which target the nervous system. (These have been trialed in riot control in France etc)
• Scalar wave weapons – (scalar waves emanate naturally from living organisms and the earth itself).
• Infrasound weapons – inducing various forms of illness from remote sources (Also used on dissidents in France)
• Neurophones and similar (more advanced) technologies – Satellite or ground based. These can deliver aural harassment via microwaves or lasers aimed at the target. Visual harassment laser systems. These deliver blurred vision, holographs and so on to disorientate the target and/or experiment; victims’ reactions being monitored to study how best to “control” targets.
• Brain wave monitors/analyzers (remote sensing). These newer technologies actually allow the target’s thoughts to be interpreted.
• “Over the horizon” technologies – These facilitate ground-based methods of harassment (eg The Alaskan HAARP project which bounces signals off the ionosphere).
• The NSA’s Echelon and Prism systems, which are now in the public domain thanks to whistleblowers, monitor ALL telecommunications worldwide. Programmed phrases / words are highlighted and those drawing the attention of the computers monitoring are then targeted by operatives using other technologies. The principle targets are not terrorists or criminals but rather opponents of those powerful criminals who are protected by this very system. National Security claims are a bogus excuse for establishing such systems then misusing them in secret.
N.B. There are literally hundreds of ways of tracking the earth’s inhabitants which are available to corrupt agency officials and their criminal contacts (e.g. the mafia). The last seven are examples of devices used to covertly menace political targets who do not have a public profile. Most can be satellite based and anyone can be targeted provided they have neither influence nor contacts in public life. Government secrecy provisions help to prevent public disclosures regarding these technologies. However, there is more than an element of corruption / complicity evident amongst politicians, journalists and other public figures who are aware of what goes on. Others are afraid to interfere.

Further Information

It is evident that countless people (world wide) have already lodged complaints about the following technologies. They are available to government agencies, defense contractors and “organized” crime figures.
• The Neurophone
   US Patent # 3,393,279. July 16th, 1968, US Patent # 3,647,970. March 7th, 1972
Although the offered explanations for “Hearing Voices” can include everything from trickery to hidden transmitters to tinnitus to psychic/haunting experiences to possession or encounters with God/aliens (to so – called schizophrenic episodes) by far the most common REAL reason is covert Neurophone harassment as arranged by government agencies and/or other criminals.

The Neurophone was developed by Dr Patrick Flanagan in 1958. It’s a device that converts sound to electrical impulses. In its original form electrodes were placed on the skin but with defence department developments, the signals can be delivered via satellite. They then travel the nervous system directly to the brain (bypassing normal hearing mechanisms). Dr Flanagan’s “3D holographic sound system” can place sounds in any location as perceived by the targeted / tortured listener. This allows for a variety of deceptions for gullible victims.

Today, the CIA, DIA (etc) use satellites and ground based equipment to deliver verbal threats, deafening noise and propaganda using neurophone technology. Anything from TV’s/radio’s appearing to operate when switched off through to “Voices from God” and encounters with “telepathic” aliens are all cons using neurophone technologies to torment, deceive and (most importantly) discredit agency/criminal targets. Naturally, the system can mimic anyone’s voice and automatic computer translations (into any language) are incorporated.
Anecdotal evidence indicates that people like David Koresh, Martin Bryant and others could have been programmed then remotely triggered (or tricked) using harassment technologies like the neurophone. (Although most of the targets are intelligent and law-abiding). For example, Mark Chapman, reportedly heard voices before and after killing John Lennon. “God” apparently told him to confess verbally.
To explain why others physically moving into the path of the laser (or whatever) do not pick up the signals, please note the following possibilities:
a) Kirlian photography may be an ancillary system so it’s attuned to the targets personal energy field (their unique EM waves).
b) The magnetite in our brains can act as a detectable fingerprint.
c) Equally each of us has a unique bioelectrical resonance frequency in our brains. EMF Brain stimulation may be encoded so that pulsating EM signals sent to the targets brain cause audio-visual effects which only the target experiences. This, to me, is the best explanation.
d) The individuals “vibrational pattern” could be used as a signal filter like a radio receiving only the sound modulating the frequency of the station it’s tuned to.
e) The monitors simply adjust the volume downwards when you’re in a position where the signal could hit someone else’s body. Even if they heard it (briefly) they’d attribute it to another voice in the crowd etc.
As with the final proof, the definitive answer lies in the actual blueprints; secreted in the bowels of the Pentagon or some similar facility. Nonetheless, there is no report of ANY intercepted neurophone signals. If it wasn’t so effective it would not have been used to facilitate silent communications between U.S. government agents/military personnel.
• Psycho-Acoustic Projector, U.S. patent #3,566,347, (23/2/71)
A device/weapon which can actually deafen the target.
• Silent Subliminal Messages, US Patent # 5,159,703. October 27th, 1992
Inventor – Dr Oliver M. Lowery
Non aural carriers in extreme audio frequency ranges are amplified or modulated with the desired material and propagated acoustically for direct inducement into the brain. This is an excellent method of influencing people without their knowledge. An alert reader would recognise how this could create coincidences and stir up conflict; especially if what’s fed to one person corresponds with what’s gathered (via surveillance) from another. It can also help to create coincidences of the sort the media creates (through surveillance feedback) only in reverse, where the subjects are fed information prior to the event (eg. a news story) and coerced into believing they are psychic.
Patented devices known to facilitate subliminal message delivery are too numerous to list.
However, examples include:
  • Auditory subliminal message system and method. U.S. patent #4395600, Rene Lundy and David Tyler, 26/7/83. A system to mix messages into background music (ala the subliminal transmissions used in some U.S. department stores to prevent shoplifting or boost sales).
  • Subliminal message generator. U.S. patent #5,270,800, Robert Sweet, 14/12/93. To be used with TV, cable TV and computers. (A visual medium).
  • Superimposing method and apparatus useful for subliminal messages. U.S. patent #5,134,484, Joseph Wilson, 28/7/92. Relates to video signals. The subliminal data can be from a prerecorded or live signal.
N.B Sound can also be induced by radiating the head with microwaves. One unpublished application was the Gulf War but, more times than not, the targets are mostly innocent/oppressed civilians trying to exercise their basic rights to free speech in so-called western democracies.
• Methods and Systems of Altering Consciousness
US Patent # 5,123,844. June 23rd, 1992
US Patent # 5,289,438. February 22nd, 1994
These systems stimulate the brain with different frequencies and wave forms to alter the subject’s state of consciousness.
Electro Magnetic Field (EMF) monitoring/interference is one of the most insidious and secretive of all methods used by the agencies.
N.B. Similarly, EEG cloning feeds back the results of EMF monitoring in an attempt to induce emotional responses (e.g. fear, anger, even sleep etc.).
This could possibly work on certain members of a crowd or audience….again this could facilitate scams etc.
Dr Ross Adey concludes that all aspects of human behavior can be affected, even controlled. He used 0.75 milliwatts per square centimeter of pulsed, modulated microwave at a frequency of 450 MHz.
Notably the Alaskan HAARP project (featuring the B.J.Eastland patented technology – U.S. patent #4,686,605, 11/4/87 – “Method and Apparatus for altering a region in the Earth’s atmosphere, ionosphere or magnetosphere” and others also facilitates experiments in the disruption of human mental processes. It’s the largest, most versatile radio frequency radiation transmitter in the world also allowing experimentation in weather “modification”, wireless, electrical power beaming and communications “disruption”. Its systems like this which could one day see attempts made to brainwash/control entire populations. And that is just as feasible as a wholesale nuclear holocaust.
• Microwave Weapons
Twenty years ago a scientist, Allan Frey, found that if a microwave carrier were to be sliced and carried audio modulation, that modulation could be heard by someone in the signals path. The thin pulses of radio carrier wave cause currents to flow through the nervous system – the result is a remote transmission; no wires or contact is needed.
“A hearing system” U.S. patent #4,877,027, 31/10/89. Wayne Brunker.
“A hearing device” U.S. patent #4,858,612, 22/8/89. Philip L.Stocklin.
The latter involves microwaves aimed at the auditory cortex. A mike turns the sounds to electrical signals which are treated so as to provide multi frequency microwaves which are applied to the brain area. Whatever sound the mike picks up (like a voice) is relayed to the target.
The first known experiment with microwaved voices was conducted by Sharp and Grove in the early 70’s. However, the Defense Intelligence Agency and the Advanced Research Projects Agency are principally to blame for the abuse of such technologies since. (Project Pandora). The CIA’s Langley Research Center as well as an army of “mad” scientists working in Energy/Defense department labs across the U.S. are also responsible. As with the NASA Apollo program, many of those originally involved were ex Nazi or Russian Cold war scientists (even WWII Japanese) recruited, regardless of their earlier crimes, to commit more crimes, this time for the U.S.A.
It’s worth noting the reported experiments carried out in bygone days included The MKULTRA (mind control)/LSD experiments, germ and nuclear fallout testing (on military and civilian personnel), electro-shock treatment on institutional victims and so on. The U.S. Energy and Justice departments are now involved in such programs so the U.S. can escape violation of international defense/agency treaties. That’s also why the “D” for “defense” was dropped from DARPA.
In any event, once a technology is labelled “Top secret-classified” they can use it any way they like on anyone. God Bless America.
• Brain Wave Monitors / Analyzers
Lawrence Pinneo, a neurophysiologist and electronic engineer working for Stanford Research Institute (a military contractor) is the first “known” pioneer in this field. In 1974 he developed a computer system which correlated brain waves on an electroencephalograph with specific commands.
In the early 1990s, Dr Edward Taub reported that words could be communicated onto a screen using the thought-activated movements of a computer cursor. (Currently under secrecy provisions; “Classified”)
In 1994, the brain wave patterns of 40 subjects were officially correlated with both spoken words and silent thought. This was achieved by a neurophysiologist, Dr Donald York, and a speech pathologist, Dr Thomas Jensen, from the University of Missouri. They clearly identified 27 words / syllables in specific brain wave patterns and produced a computer program with a brain wave vocabulary.
It does not take much thinking to realize that the US agencies have access to a perfected version of this technology. In fact the relevant computers have a vocabulary in excess of 60,000 words and cover most languages.
In fact, the NSA’s signals intelligence monitor the brainwaves of their targets by satellite and decode the evoked potentials (3.50Hz 5 milliwatts) that the brain emits.
So, using lasers / satellites and high-powered computers the agencies have now gained the ability to decipher human thoughts – and from a considerable distance (instantaneously).
• How is it done?
The magnetic field around the head, the brain waves of an individual can be monitored by satellite. The transmitter is therefore the brain itself just as body heat is used for “Iris” satellite tracking (infrared) or mobile phones or bugs can be tracked as “transmitters”. In the case of brain wave monitoring the results are then fed back to the relevant computers. Monitors then use the information to conduct a “conversation” where audible neurophone input is “applied” to the victim.
Human thought operates at 5,000 bits/sec but satellites and various forms of biotelemetry can deliver those thoughts to supercomputers in Maryland, U.S.A, Israel, etc which have a speed of over 300 trillion bits/sec which means just one (Blue Gene) supercomputer can process more information than ten times the entire world’s population. These, even today, monitor millions of people simultaneously. Eventually they will monitor almost everyone, worse than any Orwellian “Big Brother” nightmare you could possibly imagine, only it will be a reality. Yet our world leaders, who know this, do nothing.
NB Whilst the live/human comments are individualistic and unrelated to the victims own thought processes oftentimes the artificial intelligence involved will parrot standard phrases. These are triggered by your thoughts while the human monitors remain silent or absent.
To comprehend how terrible such a thorough invasion of privacy can be – imagine being quizzed on your past as you lie in bed. You eventually fall off to sleep, having personal or “induced” dreams, only to wake to the monitors commenting / ridiculing your subconscious thoughts (dreams).
If the ability to “brain scan” individuals expands from the million or so currently under scrutiny to include ALL inhabitants of the planet (as per the Echelon surveillance system which already monitors ALL private/commercial telecommunications) then no-one will ever be able to even think about expressing an opinion contrary to those forced on us by the New World Order. There will literally be no intellectual property that cannot be stolen, no writing that cannot be censored, no thought that cannot be suppressed (by the most oppressive/invasive means).
Conclusion
The combined use of these technologies enables remote torture and interrogation. (Memories are triggered by neurophone questioning and the brain wave analyzers deliver the answers). Any nebulous arguments about US national security and the need for classified research on human subjects speak for themselves. (The writer has a copy of a White House internal memo, signed by Bill Clinton on these matters).
Remember that in the past CIA mind control experiments have involved LSD as well as electro-shock treatment. The MK Ultra (Mind Control) program itself is infamous as are the instances where implants have been detected by X-Ray etc. Also there are those experimented on under the the cover of ‘Alien visits’. Today, Neurophone and mind reading technologies are at the forefront of similar programs. In many ways these new technologies are an even more sinister means of conducting illegal human experiments.
Colonel John Alexander, advising head of NATO’S non-lethal weapon initiative, is the main proponent of these technologies. He favors all manner of devices which can, from a distance, induce illnesses, read minds and covertly harass innocent targets. If he could he would implant a microchip in each newborn child and initiate a mind control program designed to brainwash the entire planet or at least those not fully in tune with their New World Order. Even to entertain such a thought is criminally insane yet he has said such things in public. In fact Scientific American magazine and the major Scandinavian newspaper, Helsingen Sanomat, have suggested all people will be implanted with a DNA microchip in the future. E.g Prince William has already been implanted (for “location” purposes?) while some U.S Military/Agency personnel, including NASA astronauts, have been implanted so as to study their thoughts/emotions etc. Think of the possibilities for robotics and cloning in the future.
Remember, these technologies (developed for times of war / terrorism) are (post cold war) being used today on lobbyists, intellectual dissenters and peaceful activists; to discredit and silence them. (So much for democracy.) Notably different methods are often used on different victims within a certain area (city) so as to avoid providing a pattern for investigators to observe. This also provides a cross section of political targets for their experimental programs.
It is also noteworthy that some of the victims are ex-agency / military personnel who have rebelled or tried to blow the whistle on corrupt practices within these organizations. Some of these report that not only have the thoughts and emotions of millions of targets been catalogued by military/intelligence agencies but all such agencies have political/mafia/media links due to both infiltration and association. Many of the actual monitors/harassers are also recruited from the worst possible sources.
These people also report that experiments in controlling voters by these remote methods were tried in Haiti, Bosnia etc AND that in 1994, the U.S D.O.D proposed using such technology on all individuals opposing their views(and competitors etc). The DIA would know.
N.B. These technologies are invariably used in conjunction with satellite (audio / visual) surveillance; creating the effect of an electronic POW concentration camp. Mental rape is only one of the many crimes committed in this mobile environment. E.g scientists, writers, political/military leaders etc can have their intellectual property stolen at the source. Without doubt the computers store and analyze the intelligence gathered by surveillance/harassment technologies. Their vast memories allow detailed studies of how the human mind works so as to learn how to influence and/or control people. Duplicating these processes for robotics and other artificial intelligence purposes is another sinister goal.
The US and other world governments are guilty of fostering gross human rights abuses by using these methods. Their covert operators can now do their worst without fear of detection. The cost is justified by the control gained and the experimental results achieved. Of course, (as with the space program and military expenditures in general) the funds used could be better spent solving real problems like hunger, disease, poverty and crime.
Recommendations
• Agencies such as the CIA, ASIS and ASIO should be accountable to appropriately selected committees etc.
• Military units, like Australia’s DSD and the U.S. DIA, should not have the right to access satellite (or other) technologies to spy on or harass law-abiding citizens; especially in their own country. Equally they should not assist foreign governments with ‘Big Brother’ systems like Echelon, except where assisting with law enforcement activities (which they do not).
• Federal Police should be able to access oscillating scanners and EEG machines like SQUID (Superconductor Quantum Interface Detector) through the defense department or appropriate facilities. These can detect the relevant frequencies and this provides proof.
• There needs to be a United Nations Satellite Committee to oversee developments in satellite technology from a humanitarian perspective.
• UN weapons inspectors should include non-lethal weapons and satellite weaponry on their checklists.
• The International Criminal Court should deny veto rights to the US government. The threat of class actions against US government departments may then lead to the end of these atrocities.
WHAT’S BEING DONE ABOUT IT
(i) Pres. Bill Clinton issued a memo and an Admin’ order of governmental Federal Policy change but it was not implemented before he left office. It related to “Strengthened protection for human subjects of classified research”, 27th March, 1997. (May 13th, 1997….Federal register). His wife, Hillary Clinton, later as US Secretary of State (responsible for the agencies), made no further attempt to stop the atrocities in question.
(ii) Senator John Glen introduced the “Human research subject protection act” (s.193, 105th congress, Jan 22, 1997). As an ex astronaut he knew full well how necessary this was but the bill was not passed.
(iii) The European Parliament recently passed resolutions calling for a world convention to ban all weapons used for human experimentation/manipulation. (see Resolution on the environment security and foreign policy A4 – 0005/99, Jan 28th, 1999.EP1159). The European Parliament also called for a convention introducing a global ban on any weaponry enabling manipulation of human beings. The International Committee of the Red Cross also expressed its concerns in July ’94.
(iv) UNIDIR (The United Nations Institute for Disarmament Research) has issued a media guide to disarmament esp. re weapons of mass destruction. Non-lethal weapons are listed and the list includes mind control weapons. Resolutions, treaties, international conventions/laws must quickly be introduced to bridge the gap between rapidly advancing (and usually ‘classified’) technologies and inadequate laws. UN weapons inspectors should then seek access to government (et al) facilities (worldwide – including the U.S.) to eradicate these evil weapons.
(v) ON 28TH DECEMBER 2003 THE MICHIGAN GOVERNOR SIGNED PUBLIC ACTS 256 AND 257 (EFFECTIVE 1/1/04). THESE OUTLAW THE USE OF ANY EM WEAPON ON ANYONE. PENALTY – 15 YEARS-LIFE.
(vi) US Rep Dennis Kucinich (D-OH) introduced a bill “The space preservation act of 2001″ (HR 2977). This was an attempt to ban all weapons in space, including the ones referred to on this site. The congressional record shows that “Mind Control”, “Psychotronic” and “Mood Management” weapons were referred to in HR 2977 but the bill had to be reintroduced as HR 3616 as a watered down version that excluded such terms. Like the earlier attempts by Pres. Clinton and Sen. Glenn this failed to shore up the loopholes which allow non-consensual human experimentation by the agencies and the military. And, like most things kept from the public, these secretive crimes, allowed by the deliberate placement of bad laws, are undemocratic, abhorrent and inspired by an inhumane, elitist mentality that the Nazis and Dr Mengele himself would be proud of.
The ACLU (American Civil Liberties Union) filed a lawsuit in early 2012 against the US government ( Obama administration) concerning the covert targeting / killing of individuals by the agencies; with executive approval or orders.
However these are only promises recognizing the problem. None have yet bore fruit. The use of most “non-lethal” weapons contravenes the spirit of all privacy laws and criminal codes as well as every relevant code and convention in play internationally; including The Declaration of Human Rights. The International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights. The Geneva Convention and The Nuremberg Code. The perpetrators are guilty of crimes against humanity. Those supporting them are engaging in class warfare of the worst kind.
HEROES
Some of the martyrs to the cause are listed below. These people, all of which spoke with authority and inside knowledge, were all murdered for blowing the whistle on covert satellite harassment….
• Bill Roy, ANU lecturer and Chief Technician, Canberra Black Mountain Tower. He was planning to enter politics and tell the world the truth about satellite surveillance / harassment. He was run down while on his bike, alone in the Uni’ grounds after dark.
• Dr Fred Bell, Physicist and ex DOD employee. He was speaking publicly about evil attacks on citizens using classified technologies. He was murdered in his hotel room just after speaking on Jesse Ventura’s Conspiracy show on TruTV.
Ironically, he was the great grandson of Alexander Graham Bell who invented the “telephone” while he himself was killed for telling people about “neurophones”, amongst other things.
• Ted Gunderson, Ex FBI agent. Ted was an effective activist that assisted many and worked tirelessly to resolve this situation. He died suddenly in suspicious circumstances.
• Alistair Stuart, a Psychiatrist. He was discredited then murdered in his home for highlighting the number of political / agency targets who were falsely committed to mental institutions in order to silence them.
• Michael Hastings – He was a journalist working on a story about the CIA chief when killed in a very suspicious accident in 2013. He had also previously ended the career of General McChrystal.
LIVING HEROES
• Bradley Manning – Jailed in 2013 for 35 years (hopefully to be paroled much sooner if not pardoned altogether) for passing on military information to Wikileaks founder Julian Assange. His motivation was seeing atrocities in Iraq whilst serving there. His concern was for others. In the absence of adequate reporting channels, media coverage or government accountability for such human rights abuses only whistleblowers can bring such things to the attention of the public and then only through marginalized organizations. This of course conveniently allows the government to hide most crimes and demonize those reporting them. The most apt comment I read on this matter read something like this: “When exposing a crime is able to be called a crime by the criminals who committed it you can be sure that those same criminals rule”. The US military and agencies manipulate the truth and brainwash the public so that those not thinking straight support their views, giving them at least some leeway to get away with injustices such as imprisoning Mr Manning. Talk of fictional “psych’ ” problems is always a last resort and they also used that in his case.
• Julian Assange – He published the Manning documents / revelations en masse through Wikileaks and has been hounded for it to the point where he’s sought political asylum from the gov’t of Ecuador. The big lie used on him concerns some obvious sexual frame up. Like other whistleblowers, he has been demonized for speaking the truth which has become a crime or revolutionary act according to the criminals committing the crimes. How the guilty turn the accusations back onto the innocent in today’s evil world would have been a valuable clue for the despots of the past who would be in awe of what technology and total control of the information flow have delivered to the masters of today’s evil world.
• Edward Snowden – Attacked to the point where he sought asylum in China then Russia, for revealing to Guardian reporter Glenn Greenwald the extent of the NSA’s PRISM surveillance system; gathering all information from all communications from all citizens. Like William Binney before him, also an NSA whistleblower re’ ECHELON and other systems, he’s been victimized and set up to look like a traitor. Again, as with the quote for Mr Manning, I say: When exposing treachery is able to be called treachery by the traitors responsible you can be sure that those same powerful traitors rule.
Jesus Christ, who IS the truth, said that “the world” hated him because he said that it was evil (the truth). When men like those mentioned above say the same they are treated the same; with lies and set ups, fueled by merciless hatred and ending in ultimate injustice by the rulers of “the world”. “The whole world is under the rule of the evil one” said Jesus. It was true then and it’s true now. “In a time of universal deceit telling the truth is a revolutionary act”, George Orwell.

http://www.surveillanceissues.com/categories-of-surveillanceharassment-technologies/

Recent Videos

Hi Friends and Followers,

portrait october 2018Just wanted to remind you all of the new videos I posted last month – on mind control and targeting I’ve personally experienced in the last decades.

I might not be posting again for awhile (life’s getting busy), so I hope you’ll take the time to watch these, either by clicking specific videos or using my playlists below.

Targeted Individual experience:
– Targeted Individual Social Sabotage: https://youtu.be/h89pFkVCnGU
– 7 Days of Targeting: https://youtu.be/_StvLwf2vI4
– MK/Targeting treatment different in different locations: https://youtu.be/mUB4ZC9cFRY
– Why Me?:  https://youtu.be/Ax8d2xB6Sf8
– Ironic Smiles (a poem about recognizing targeters/controllers/handlers:  https://youtu.be/X4i__AMoTxE
– Hit out on me? https://youtu.be/ON8aMHQPABY
– Highway Crash Report:  https://youtu.be/9MHAO0GqPhM
A most disturbing discovery about TargetingOperation TIPS, Terrorism Liaison Officers, and Targeted Individuals

Implants:
– Implant in my G-spot (yes): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RhPLxGPNf0
– In my heart:  https://youtu.be/UpTrCntYWiU
– Implant on my Scapula: https://youtu.be/FykaX6T6dqw
– Implant in my Ear: https://youtu.be/ldkCOVtIMTs
and Name that technology: What’s in my ear?:  https://youtu.be/zJnrBan_T-M

Mind Control Alters come out in public:
– Alter moves on program to steal, horrifying me: https://youtu.be/fG3axJD7tzg
– Martial arts alter comes out to help: https://youtu.be/DDpkMYR8s5Y
– Alter comes out to discredit: https://youtu.be/s4yUhRbncT4

Mind Control Subject on Kavanaugh, RF meter, new videos, fraternity rape, new implant, harassment: https://youtu.be/BFBS1xMJYFk

Suspicious people in my life:
– Housesitter Sabotage of a Targeted Individual: https://youtu.be/pi8yS0pvj84
– 3 Doctors in my last small town:  https://youtu.be/4m4O074VDVY

Suspicious events:
– Woke with broken toe:  https://youtu.be/x-3-rqGnw-A
– Finding Someone’s Drivers license in my Purse:  https://youtu.be/3a-8GHpKXWE
– Victim of Psy Op:  https://youtu.be/ea_aWFjZENQ

My efforts to be a truth teller (1- and 2-minute clips from a longer ramble):
– Telling the Truth 1:  https://youtu.be/9sabbUgCFBo
– Telling the Truth 2 – with amnestic alters:  https://youtu.be/9sabbUgCFBo

My channel: (https://www.youtube.com/user/ParadigmSalonVideo)
My playlists: My Story from the Beginning,
Newest: My Story,
Mind Control Harassment,
Mind Control Healing,
MK & “Aliens”,
Targeted Individual,
multiple personality.

Thank you, Everyone.  I really appreciate your views and comments.

Peace and blessings on us all.

Jean

Making Videos Again

Hi Everyone,

As you may know, I lost my home a little over two years ago, basically because I was constantly terrorized and incapacitated, so that I couldn’t make a living to keep paying the mortgage.

So I sold my beautiful home, and planned to move to a simple home in a wonderful location – but when I arrived, it wasn’t available and wouldn’t be for any time in the foreseeable future!  And it’s still not.

I left the greatest part of my belongings in storage, bought a truck and trailer, and went traveling, looking for some place that “called,” not finding it, trying to be of service wherever I went, and discovering some wonderful possibilities, such as the Rubber Tramp Rendezvous (RTR), where nomads meet each winter and find friends to travel with.  I wasn’t feeling trusting yet and chose to simply observe, then went on my own solo way.

Before I found the RTR, I experienced a very suspicious series of events that leads me to believe my truck and/or trailer were remote controlled, and they were totaled on the highway one year ago.  I’m still recovering from a concussion and whiplash.  I describe it in one of my new videos: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9MHAO0GqPhM&index=38&list=PLPo7-F8Erey7-17KcMf-oaqGLEQ5uaMiA.

truck crash cropped.jpg

When I could drive again and got a loan while waiting for the insurance company to do their thing, I replaced the truck and trailer with a truck and small camper.

IMG_3693.jpg

Last July, I suddenly wanted to find one place to sit and be still “for awhile, or a few months, or maybe forever,” and with borrowed money I purchased a larger trailer that I intend to never move, but just park in a sweet little country trailer park.  I still have my small camper which I can load any time I want onto the back of my truck and go camping – or to the RTR.

Now that I have this extra space (my trailer is 37′ long and has three sliders, giving me 387 sf!), I’ve retrieved many of my possessions from storage and am enjoying having the room to comfortably cook different things, my old library to consult, and enough space to have friends visit easily.

Most important to you:  I’ve regained enough mental focus to begin recording my stories on video, in short segments, most 4- to 8-minutes long. 

It’s been ten years since I published my memoir, and I could certainly write another with as many amazing stories as the first, but I haven’t yet had dependable energy that lets me believe I could write, edit, publish and market the project, so instead I’m recording short videos whenever I have the time and uploading them.  It’s much more efficient and hopeful than tackling a huge book project.

Being targeted regularly sometimes zaps me for 15 days each month.  The time that’s left I need to shop, cook, clean, pay bills, and usually I stay just enough behind to be always on the edge of depression and anxiety – but only on the edge.  I can usually build myself up and be happy to get everything done, or almost, and be good company when I visit family and friends.

And when I’m hit, I’m learning to take it easy, not fight it, not try to push myself, but even be grateful for the time to be still and not feel guilty!

And when I realize this is rare time, given my hyper-productivity training by my super-perfectionist workaholic German parents (God bless them), this rare time, I often receive such important lessons from my spirit Help that I wonder if it was THEM making me slow down!  Not saying so, but I’m considering this possibility.  It’s a lot less terrifying than the usual assumptions, right?

I’m pleased with the videos so far, and have created one playlist of EVERYTHING I’ve videotaped since 2010 (41 videos) in approximate order (let me know if there’s something obviously out of order, and I’ll fix it).

When I finished creating the playlist, I sat back, thinking I’d speed watch, stopping and jumping ahead, just to get an overall impression, thinking I’d be bored to watch them all again, but I found myself bingeing! – watching one after the other and frankly feeling quite impressed that I’ve told so many stories I think need to be told.  (It was late, so I stopped, and that’s why I’ll accept comments if you find any order problems.)

Some are short, tightly edited, like the first.  Others are slow – a result of my concussion and even being depressed – and I wonder if people will be impatient with them.  Let me know.  In any case, I think it’s good that the roller coaster of my life is recorded in this way.

I cover a lot of subjects:  my implants, times I’ve been controlled during the day, various kinds of harassment, hopeful days, breakdowns, and more.

One more thing:

My numbers on YouTube have been seriously messed with.  This first video went viral in late 2010 and had over 12,000 views.  Then the numbers began to run backward!  Now they’re down in the hundreds, but running forward again.  Watch them, if you would.

Thank you for being here.

Blessings on you ~

Grateful for more info

Feeling so grateful.  And what irony:  for an old TV special!

Opening words:  “This is the story of a thirty-year search by US intelligence agencies to perfect mind control.  Some of those engaged in the search have agreed to talk about it for the first time.  One said, ‘I think every last one of us felt sorry to attempt this kind of thing.  We knew we were crossing the line.'”

Having finally decided to come out of the closet (again), risk (again) being thought “negative” and creating my own very gruesome reality, I allowed myself to indulge yesterday in some long-neglected research on my own situation.

It has been rewarding to learn, or relearn that thousands, maybe a million other people around the world are experiencing the same thing as me, and that I’m not all alone, defective, having created this disabling condition.

Not only am I not guilty of creating it, but I haven’t been unaware either. I’d perceived enough and made logical conclusions, consistent with personal and world history, and even with religion, philosophy and mythology, about what was happening to me.

So why did I need to reread this research to remember? Many forces encourage me to forget, or not believe, or hold my ideas in a “consideration” category without enough certainty to warrant action. Lots of ways I disable my brain from action.

Why? Because few of my friends can tolerate hearing about it more than twenty minutes to an hour a year. When they offer their opinion it is most often along the lines of trying to focus on other things, which they don’t realize is already how I’m living my life and I’m wondering whether the better strategy might be to tell someone about it.

Everyone is mind controlled to not talk about it. Even though it has become a fairly common subject of science fiction these days, it’s still difficult to discuss. The implications are so scary.

Yeah. And especially for us.

And for us, there’s really very little we can do. And when things are so hopeless, no one wants to hear. Why bum out their day when there’s nothing they can do.

Here’s the video I’m grateful for – from way back in 1979 – grateful for it being one of the few bits of affirmation I’ve gotten lately:

“Voices in their Heads!”

Watching an old Jesse Ventura show on Targeted Individuals – gratified that he’s found medical and other professionals willing to put their names on the line to testify about this experience.

Wish I’d seen this five years ago. Now, it’s helped inspire me to gather my energy to write again about something of the last two years.

So much has happened that I’ve recorded in one way or another but haven’t published – keeping it secret, testing “giving it no energy,” to see if it’ll go away. It hasn’t.

“Voices in their heads,” Jesse calls it, but there is so much more to being a TI. I’ll finish up this blog with an account of my experience of electronic experiments, and follow with one on social harassment, aka gang stalking.

One of the first times I felt subjected to a beam, it felt like an experiment that involved tracking. Sitting sideways on my sofa, I first felt a spot of vibration about four inches wide moving about on my foot, then moving up my ankle and lower leg.

I pulled my leg in, telling myself it could just be my foot and leg falling asleep, but it touched my foot again, causing me to jump up off the sofa. Flash on options: sit on sofa again, other end, bed, kitchen, nowhere to go, it’s going to get me wherever I go, and so I lay in bed, resigned, expecting the buzz to hit a foot again, but instead my head was suddenly encompassed in a buzzing circle, after which I remember nothing.  Next morning, my ears were ringing, and they’ve never stopped.  I’ve lost the entire top half of my hearing range.

Musical tones have sometimes put me “to sleep” and sometimes woken me up. Once a torturously-loud, high-pitched tone sent me running to find my iPod to play a particular self-hypnosis recording that seemed the most powerful relaxation resource I had – but the recording had mysteriously disappeared from my device, leaving only one other self-hypnosis product, which I’d purchased but never listened to because I suspected it had mind control programming in it.

In the pause before hitting Play, I felt I was being compelled to listen to this recording, and it would be dangerous for me, but I’d be further tortured if I didn’t, so I submitted, and the torturous pitch gave way to a calm, gentle voice encouraging me along a path in a light-dappled woods.  I must have gone unconscious because I remember nothing else of the recording, just woke with my ears ringing, for years now.

I’ve also experienced movies suddenly playing in my head – and I mean literal movies, not like a memory I could pause or meander with.  The first looked like a 1960’s, black-and-white home movie of a family at the marina, young teens self-conscious of their manners, boarding their boat, turning, arranging themselves, waving at the camera.  I chose not to pay attention to it, and chose not to give it any emotional energy.

Another movie suddenly played in my head was of a dusty Third World road with people, animals, carts, the camera moving along with the traffic, chest high.  Once, two movies played on top of each other!  Every time, I chose not to pay attention to them – let them go blurry, give them no emotion.

One afternoon last year I was standing in my travel trailer home near my bed when I suddenly felt an extreme urge to lie down and was unconscious by the time I hit the bed. I woke hours later with what felt like water in my ear. Living alone out in the country, I didn’t find anyone to look in my ear until it had healed. The water sensation stayed for three days.

The one time I actually heard a clear communication it wasn’t necessarily with clear words. It was as if they had a map of ideas I’d already developed among my theories, and they merely touched on one after another after another, building their story, concluding with the end of the Earth-human experiment (ending because we keep devolving too radically between their uplifting visits).  The “second chance” that Jehovah or Enlil/Enki of the Sumerian records had been played out, and we were not going to get another chance.  God, or the Aliens, are done with us.

Because the whole thing felt so scripted and imposed upon me, I chose not to believe it, but I could NOT ignore it – it overwhelmed all other thought.

In the city I often feel targeted by extremely unpleasant vibrations hidden under a heavy bass in the music of a passing vehicle. It’s so powerful, I assume it must be directed narrowly toward my home.  I finally learned a response that empowers instead of weakens me:  I call out a sort of war-cry to override whatever it is and keep it up as long as it keeps up.   Interestingly, it seems as though my war cry makes it end sooner.

Finally, I’ve also experienced something I think I’ve heard called “thought transference.”  While lying in bed relaxing to sleep, I seemed to suddenly experience the mind of someone else, for instance a hairdresser with her hands in plastic gloves, looking down, seeing them squishing around in someone’s scalp, parting wet hair to pull strands through a cap for coloring – or something that looked and felt like this action I’ve heard about but never saw.  Unlike film, this experience contained peripheral vision, and the feeling and even bored thoughts of the person doing the work made me feel like I was in someone else’s body for a little while.  Again, I chose to withdraw my participation, and it faded quickly.

I’ll be reviewing my journals to see what other electronic experiments I’ve experienced and add them.  My fractured mind is too tired right now to get into researcher mode.  I’ll post right now so it doesn’t wait for two years.

And hope to post soon about the social harassment, gang stalking.

 

 

 

Speaking out again

I used to wonder what was wrong with me. I called myself shy, then neurotic, and eventually, in my early 40s realized I’d been sexually abused as a child.  The next year, I realized I was also dissociative, fractured, amnesic, and had been for most of my life.

Just before I turned 50 I realized I’d not only been sexually abused, but had also been tortured, intentionally to make me dissociative, the foundation to controlling my mind.  This was a task carried out by various parties, overseen by CIA psychiatrists, with assistance from the Mormon Church and other groups throughout my life.

Throughout my life, I’ve also tested at genius levels, in school, on MENSA and Air Force tests, and often won awards my first year in a field, from art to sales and fundraising. This is either a positive effect of mind control, or maybe they chose me for their project because they knew I was smart, or maybe only the smart ones survive.

A year or two ago, I learned I score borderline on the Asperger’s Scale, though I was very “Aspie” when I was young.  While the majority of Aspies consider themselves different by virtue of their genetics, one-third of us identify as different because of our upbringing.

Falling on the Aspergers Scale might be a natural outcome of the childhood training.  To progress as far as I have is not uncommon for Aspie women; with enough motivation, or pressure, it’s possible to study people and in decades of practice, figure out how to act almost normal.  Now that I pass (barely, borderline on the scale), I enjoy socializing for an hour or two, at most, but I often feel mentally numb afterwards.  I relate to Dr. Spock and the newest depiction of Sherlock Holmes – both mystified as I am by common conversation.  I remember judging adult conversation quite harshly also when I was very young, as if I had some other standard against which to judge.  Maybe I came from somewhere else?  Could that be why they chose me?

I’ve called myself a “high-functioning multiple personality” – though my alters are not nearly as dramatic nor as distinct as the individuals chosen for movie scripts.  My alter changes have gone mostly unnoticed for all of my life.  This helped me hold the attitude, after I realized the extent of my fractures, that with the help of my spiritual Guides, I could heal myself and recover my life – even though the literature warns against such high expectations, unless one is young and has a great deal of money and support. I have none of those things.

When I am more realistic, I think it only my right to end my life, but no one will agree with me on that. I’m sure that if I went to Oregon, or any other state with right-to-die laws, I’d qualify: I have a) a disease that cannot be cured, b) which harms my quality of life irredeemably, and c) [I forget the third qualifier, but I’ll fill this in soon].

Why I don’t believe in suicide is because…

1) I think it only honest to remember that we could be wrong in interpreting our perceptions – since we see so little of the material world as compared to what we can perceive with technology – we see only a fraction;and some people say it’s all illusion anyway, or at least that we “see through a glass darkly.”  I assume it’s true, because I’ve had my ecstatic times when I saw something in another realm that I couldn’t remember but the conclusion was happiness and the assurance that, regardless of what appears, everything’s going to be alright – or at least I think I saw and knew that.  (Maybe it was mind control.  If so, we’ll need to revisit my assumptions.)

2) Everything we see has already been interpreted for us by those who’ve gone ahead of us, in our language, entertainment, religion, politics, and education.  Somewhere, we might have been helped to construct an incorrect framework for current interpretations.

3) Someone once suggested that if we bail out on this life, we’ll just have to come back and do it again, like the Truman Show, and I don’t want to take that risk.  Since I’ve always felt that our culture won’t last much longer, I always assume it’s not that much more to endure.

So, I’m hanging in.

Two years ago I was at my wit’s end, having woken in my bed, feeling something terrible had been done to me. With great difficulty, I rolled off the bed and arranged myself upright to walk, and slowly shuffled to the bathroom. When I saw my face in the mirror, I turned back to the living room to get my phone and shuffled back to the bathroom mirror and snapped a photo.

My facial muscles were slack, the tissues puffy, my eyelids sagging, my left eyeball turned inward. The overall impression was that I’d been beat up, only there was no discoloration.

What had been done to me? (A normal photo is included for comparison.)

look like hell.jpgsmile 4.jpg

I’d recently summarized all my journals into a master database, so I could see whether the frequency of these events was increasing. In 2010, I’d had only 38 days disturbed by bizarre events, in 2015 I’d had 130 days in which I’d either had a bizarre experience that had rocked my equanimity or I was recovering from something mysterious. One-third of my days. Obviously, this interfered with making a living and all the other aspects of living a life. I was unable to keep up with home and garden maintenance, payments, anything.

At my wit’s end, I asked nearly every family for something. My son I asked to make payments on my house, since he often said he felt guilty for not saving anything when he had so much money flowing through. I asked my siblings to read a three page summary of all the weirdness, and I sent them that photo above, but between the three of them I got back only two sentences: One couldn’t give me money (I hadn’t asked), and the other would pray for me. My son didn’t answer. I asked my daughter for nothing, since she’d let me know very clearly she thought I was only suffering from my own mistakes. When my father learned I was planning to sell my home, he offered to make the payments for me, but by then I only wanted out of the house where I felt like a sitting duck, and I declined his offer. Perhaps that was a mistake.

I sold my home as fast as I could and found myself inside a major psy op (psychological operation, which I’ll describe soon) designed to squash every bit of energy out of me – for what purpose? Punishment from my controllers for my sin of speaking against the FBI, CIA, Mormon Church, Vatican, and others? Is it entertainment for some psychopaths? Or is my anguish “food” for the Archons (as the gnostic Christians described in ancient texts)? Are they (mind controllers, psychopaths, and Archons) all the same?

Subjects of psy ops are called “targeted individuals,” or “TI’s.” Some are mind control subjects, but all are people who’ve somehow gotten on someone’s shit list.

For awhile I had a theory that they tortured me the worst when I published, so I quit publishing; but recently, my torture has been so great, I’ve decided there’s no need for me to keep this stuff a secret any more.

The other reason I keep it secret is that people can hardly believe it, and the last thing I need is people thinking I made shit up. That’s why I take photos and document as thoroughly as possible.

But I don’t want to keep the secrets any more. I see online that the numbers of people suffering from this targeting is much larger than I’d realized. So people need to know.  And I’m a writer, and it’s happening to me. So here goes.

Coming soon, my last two years of harassment….

Closing Down

I will be closing this site soonish.  Have been advised that publishing anonymously will be so much safer for me.

If you like what you read here, copy it now before it’s gone.

Much, though, will be republished elsewhere anonymously.  If you want to follow me wherever I end up, under whatever name (I haven’t decided yet), all I can suggest is that you take note of some of my key words or phases and search for them whenever this disappears.

Thanks all for your support.

Adios ~

2016 Summary of Anomalies

Just for the record:  2016 Anomaly Highlights

January:  Woke at 1:45 am with a tone in one ear and my heart rapidinjection bruise on outside left thigh.  Tired but worked anyway.  discovered vaginal irritation – for no reason.  no energy; sat all day.  low energy, then returned.  5 days affected.

February:  Wasted day:  Movies.  Heard weird noise like old fashioned phone, only lower pitch, over movie soundtrack, came through Smart TV.  Also sitting in sunroom, noticed bright light from house on hill, seeming to aim into sunroom and hit me in forehead, causing pineal gland to ache.  Had to go inside.  woke with ears ringing loud, had been hot and cold in bed, feeling “hit bottom” again.  Photo’d bruise and puncture (where?).  disabled for third day, depressed, heart ache, want to die, herpes outbreak.  Few times in last 3 days, feelings of confusion, not knowing who or where I am.  experienced disabling fear about – what I couldn’t remember afterward.  Back wrenched for unknown reason.  Psychic message:  I’m already “in” the system I’m resisting.  “Resistance is futile.”  Phone rang, picked up, weird recording as if I’d made the call; given numbers.  Few weird phone experiences this week.  UFO?  Slow, 3 lights, low hummmm, NE to SW.  2 weird sounds in house – one Peaches also heard, in art room, then again in that area heard from bathroom.  Slept only 2 hours last night and woke at 10:45 pm!  Felt severely poisoned, exhausted.  10 days.

March:  message again:  I’m already “in” the Controlled System” ie “Resistance is Futile.”  scary.  tense, anxious, stoned all day.  still sick – 3 days.  2 scoop marks on spine, high near neck, photo’d.  (Spring Equinox) Looked SO BAD, took photo of self looking horrible.  severely depressed 5 days.  Bad anxiety – impulsively bought trailer had to return (lost$400).  only slept 2 hours.  only slept 6 hours, awoken in night by electronic tone.  12 days.

April:  woke at 2:30 am with energy for whole day – until 11:30 pm!  unusual energy.  up at 5:30 after only 6 hrs sleep.  woke tired, low energy, struggled all day – after 2 relaxing days.  Woke at 11 after 1 hour sleep!  Then woke at 3 am, hearing 4-5 ascending tones, very precise.  Slept again til 7 – woke exhausted.  “Dark one” writing night before.  Woke exhausted.  “Crying One” trying to get out.  Lost energy at 2 pm.  had vision of red and black chromosomes like snakes held together in their centers, writhing inside me, “cleaning up” – but I feared it was something else.  Did extreme twisting again.  9 days.

May:  weird altered state of listening to someone, agreeing, then awaking, not remembering!  low energy.  woke 2:30 am.  no energy, can’t work.  Disabled with Heavy sadness.  Urges to sob.  Can’t work or call Mom (tube all day).  Woke after 2 hrs sleep – nothing on my mind.  Electronic waking?  Unable to work.  Sobbing all day.  low energy, sobbing a lot.  energy zapped, did nothing all day.  8 days.

June:  hard day, felt like crying often.  had flash of alter switches.  Stoned – but did someone taint my mj w lsd?  Did stupid things.  Very confused.  But provoking awareness and healing – so okay?  couldn’t work all day.  very tired, napped often.  couple days of computer refusing to open x12, then suddenly worked.  Healing!  2 halves of body are equal!  woke w 2 lumps on thumb.  low energy, nothing done.  good energy, but losing track of time.  9 days.

July:  Nausea, olfactory hallucinations, and terrifying premonition of evil in future in Silver City AND in Stronghold.  missing time while up to pee, 12:15 – 12:40 am.  Then, 11 pm, up with too much energy to sleep.  2 days.

August:  Listening to BrainWave, it changed music while listening to it; wasted by 2 pm; Woke after 9 pm with sensation of emerging from an electronic/other oppression, face-first.  Woke in night as though emerging again from a frozen survival state.  BrainWave app changed settings while listening to it.  tired five days, did little, lots of movie watching.  soles of feet sore, tired, found door lock off and doors unlocked.  BrainWave app turned itself on when I didn’t touch it.  ODD:  channeled a curry recipe!!  Computer seems to be remotely controlled.  Sick, heart troubles.  sick, lethargy, faint, low blood pressure/Cardiio.  fever.  extremely ill.  very ill, could barely move to pack things.  feel like major psy op x 13.  hacking, coughing, still exhausted, napped.  14 days.

September:  vaginal and anal irritation, like raped in night.  burning fever, like on too hot hot pad.  “slept” 10 hours.  woke with spastic muscle in pudendum!  herpes around anus.  deposit on trailer – acted like a MK subject, trusting.  5 days + most of month enraged, recovering from psy op last month.

October:  10 pm:  transmission: man talking to me, can’t remember content.  Conscious at 10:05 w heart racing.  twice more.  woken by bang on the trailer roof twice, 4 and 4:15 am.  heard drone (apparently) fly near, vibration in chest felt terrible, anxiety.  two cars spying on me, parking immediately next to my vehicle with whole lot available.  two trucks watching me, slow drive-bys.  slept 7-7=12 hrs!  found injection bruise on right front thigh, high.  crazy, loud traffic next to trailer with cans thrown at trailer.  remote control of my computer, disallowing Bluetooth.  1 am:  BAD night sweat, waking me, three nights in a row.  last “fix” at RVC.  Passcode book disappeared, as well as thumb drive.  Also clock alarm set to midnight again.  Alarm went off at midnight again.  compelled to nap, then woken in strange altered state by phone call from Dar.  Rest of day wasted, felt like I had water in my ear.  17 days.

November:  very loud engine/humming sound from overhead, back and forth, 8:48 and 9:07.  White dog arrived and seemed controlled to sit at my feet and/or at our front door; threatening Peaches, would not leave, acting like a controlled dog.  Woke in night at 1 am.  Back to consciousness at 4:30 – 3.5 hrs missing time?  found 5 financial sites hacked.  spent day doing defense.  Citibank passcode worked, didn’t, fixed, didn’t, fixed.  4 days.

December:  something knocked repeatedly on my bedroom window, 6-7 times, twice.  I ignored, almost forgot, altered state.  buzzed by two huge helicopters with terrible vibe.  tired and groggy all next day.  8:10 pm?  went into trance, received instructions can’t remember, woke 8:24 pm.  Driving home from luncheon with parents, missed 10 miles and turn-off on 202.  driving, noticed my vulva is swollen – wondered if raped in night.  heard noise outside by truck, but immobilized and couldn’t look.  10 pm, start to brush teeth, went into trance, woke up, finished brushing, found time was 11:11, and door was unlocked.  1 hour missing time.  Altered states while listening to Corey Goode talk about his life being used by good aliens and also monitored by govt.  8 days.

Total days disturbed:  128 days

Average days/month:  11 days/month

Physical anomalies:

injection bruise x2

vaginal irritation x3, anal irritation, and spastic muscle in pudendum

heart problems x 2

sick to stomach with numb shoulder

ringing ears

bruise and puncture, photographed

back wrenched

felt poisoned, tense, anxious

2 scoop marks on spine

2 lumps on thumb

soles of feet sore

Count # of disabled days:

Conscious of waking from altered state: 6

listening to someone, agreeing, then awaking, not remembering

after altered state, feels like water in ear for 3 days

while listening to MK subject testimony

Immobilized after event:  2

knocking on window but unable to look

noise of truck being messed with outside but couldn’t look

Weird waking w tones or electronics:  11

Disabled:  27

Missing time:  4

1 hour, 11 minutes missing time in middle of brushing teeth

Perceptual Anomalies:

Waking with tone/s in ear/s:

strange noise in house x2, once heard also by Peaches

bright light from hillside that hurt head

Forgetting where I am

Disabling fear about something I couldn’t remember

Message: “Resistance is futile” x2

UFO?

Electronic awakening x3

“Dark One” writing

“Crying One” trying to get out

vision of black and red chromosomes writing inside, “cleaning up”

flash of alter switches

felt on LSD, very confused

olfactory hallucination

major psy op with 13+ components, another 25 components

transmission of man talking to me, can’t remember content

heard drone (apparently) fly overhead, hover, vibration in chest, bad anxiety

2 cars spying on me in wilderness, parking immediately next to me

2 trucks driving slowly by me in dispersed camping

woken by bang on trailer roof twice 4 and 4:15 am,

Machinery Anomalies:

Weird recording on phone as if I’d made the call

Other weird phone experiences in one week

Days of computer refusing to open x 12

Portable door lock missing for days, then returned

BrainWave changed music while listening

BrainWave changed settings while listening

Found door lock off and doors unlocked

BrainWave turned itself on

Computer seeming remotely controlled, again

Loud engine heard overhead back and forth in night

Four financial sites hacked

Buzzed by two helicopters at night, tired and groggy all next day

Traffic with thrown cans constant all night in town

Another Excellent MK Overview Video

This “video” is for anyone who feels they need some gaps filled in in their understanding of MKULTRA-type mind control.

It’s actually an audio recording with text and photos as visuals – something to listen to while, perhaps, doing some other task – if you’re a busy person like me.

Very worthwhile overview!  Thank you, Fiona.  And thank you, Follower, who wrote with this link.

Excellent New Video on MKULTRA

There is so much healing in bringing secrets into the light.

Screen Shot 2017-01-07 at 10.19.59 PM.pnghttps://www.youtube.com/shared?ci=C2Gpy0tE1Gc

Well-written, well-delivered, with powerful visuals, without hyperbole or excess drama, documented, historical, contemporary, comprehensive in scope, covering efficiently all that can be covered in an hour, and covering it fairly, as far as I can say, as one who is a subject.

Total Mind Control, a new documentary, by Jay Myers

I’m so gratified to see the secret drama of my life brought into the light.  So gratified.

Please watch and share.

~

It’s the time of the Revealing….

Summary of MK anomalies in 2016

IMG_5780Of course, I could write a book on this year, but I don’t want to.

Instead, here is an exceedingly brief outline of the types of things, resulting in programming, I’ve lived through this year – including electronic, pharmaceutical, physical (including rape), phone, drone, computer, social sabotage, surveillance, and more.  I extracted them from my year’s daily journals.

[In the middle of the year, I decided I had to get out of Silver City as fast as I could, and I sold my home below market and fled – only to land in a more precarious situation.  (The advice on “Targeted Individuals 101” says to not let Them force you from your home, but I didn’t read that in time, and I did lose my home.)  I am now floating from place to place in a travel trailer, with a few friends who understand my situation.]

Here’s the super-brief list of my year’s anomalies:

electronic tones and feelings of electronic harassment, ringing ears

scoop marks, injection bruises, puncture mark

sore feet, numb shoulder, wrenched back, all for no reason

apparent rapes (Jan, Feb, Sept , December at least), with anal/vaginal irritation, herpes

dissociation, not knowing who or where I am

cat also perceiving strange noises in house

“healer” sets me up for programming I remember, but not his message

hit by light beam from neighbor house to third eye  -> severe ache

many events of amnesia, missing time, once 11 days in row

confusion, exhaustion, sickness, heart issues, can’t eat

disabling fear, for many days

sometimes energy too high to slow down or sleep

panic attacks, crying for days

computer remote controlled

weird phone calls and messages

social sabotage, acquaintances acting weird

feeling alter switches, doing stupid things, feeling confused

two lumps on thumb, no reason

portable door locks disappeared, then returned to same place

passcode book and flash drive disappeared and returned month later

four financial websites hacked in one day

psychic messages taunting “You’re already in; resistance is futile.”

UFO sighting

feeling severely poisoned

efforts to sell on eBay begin well then are sabotaged repeatedly until I quit it

23 severe challenges piled on in a few days, lasting through September and October

acted like MK subject, totally trusting and stupid, when buying trailer – with many problems

drone delivers nauseating electronic vibration to my chest

neighbor’s vibration also nauseates

people/vehicles surveilling me obviously

friend seems to participate in things lost and other anomalies

BrainWave app acting on its own 3 times

amnesia event with days of exhaustion and water in ear

traffic harassment while camping and throwing of cans at trailer

radio turning itself on

apparent MK dog (!) visited, wouldn’t leave me or my front door, even under threat of violence

passcodes work, don’t work, work, don’t work

unnatural banging on my trailer roof, unable to look

obvious knocking on my window, not afraid but unable to look

trailer buzzed by 5-6 planes in a row, first very close

trailer buzzed by two helicopters, followed by incapacitation for day

altered state with instructions can’t remember

lost time with weird consequence while on highway

nights of weird noises in truck, incapacitated, couldn’t look out window

altered state with missing time, door found unlocked

altered state, received instructions, agreed, unable to remember

altered state while listening to other MK subject testimony online

IMG_5780Back in March, after one of the worst amnesic events of my life, I woke to see a face in the mirror I hardly recognized, so I took this photo to document it.  Notice my face is slack and puffy, including my nose, and my left eye is turned inward.

Hoping for understanding and maybe help from my siblings (silly me), I sent them a long letter, explaining everything (edited for three days so as to be as concise and clear as possible), and ending with this photo.  Between the three of them, I received back two sentences, apologizing that they couldn’t help me, or offering to counsel me in prayer.  Devastated that no one in my family seemed to believe this harassment is real, I decided I had no choice but to sell my home and flee.

small-profileI’m doing fine most days, and most people who know me don’t know what I go through (or they don’t believe), and I even appear happy and healthy most days (when I go out), and I know people think I’m lazy or living on a secret fund because I “don’t work,” though they don’t know I’m going into debt every month.  (When I’m well, I’m usually running to catch up on what I couldn’t do when I was not well, and so have very little time for anything before I’m hit with harassment again.)

I do hope to find work that I can do on my own time, and hope to find that time, and hopefully keep my finances above water – as soon as I make the next move, as this camping site is no longer available.  It seems the harassers have a wealth of tricks to keep their targets always recovering, running, coping, but I still hope to find those slivers of time to make money.

img_0383Yes, I do have many days of wishing I was not alive, but mostly I am determined to rise above, to use this extraordinary challenge to connect with spiritual Help and lift my spirit and soul into some sort of transcendence beyond this Earthly harassment.

Thanks for reading and acknowledging this reality.

Prayers for help for us all.

RV Shitty

When I purchased my used (7-year-old) travel trailer from RV City, the Owner and Sales Manager told me,“Everything has been gone over, and everything is in working order.”  However:

1) They hadn’t even emptied the sewage tank – which was 2/3 full!  (Insulting to discover on my first “dry camping” trip.)

2) Sewage and other tank sensors didn’t work

3) Stereo had a terrible hum when trying to play a CD, DVD, or USB

4) Hot water was impossible because a valve connecting the hot and cold water lines for draining had been left open

5) Shower had no water pressure, so water just ran down the hose

6) Range pan still had the previous owner’s food in it

7) Clothes bar was hung with screws too short (and no anchors) so that it fell down on first trip; when repaired, it was put up crooked

8) Kitchen cabinet door hinge was not attached fully and broke

9) One arm of the awning had a broken piece (potentially dangerous)

10) Sewer cap was so old it fell off during the first trip

11) Bumper caps were so old one fell off, and the sewer hose inside was lost

12) Breaker/fuse box door latch broken, so door fell open constantly

13) Battery was 5 years old, very weak, and had to be replaced

14) Straps on the battery boxes were both frayed beyond hilarity, and one had been cut so short it could not be reconnected once it was removed.

15) I had to ask repeatedly before I was given a generic manual on the trailer

16) Mattress was so bad that I (a small person) could feel the slats beneath

17) Tires were 9 years old – age at which they should be replaced, and they were mismatched

18) Roof seals were old, severely cracked, and needed to be redone

19) Toilet lost water pressure and wouldn’t flush

20) Wall at the head of the bed feels like it’ll fall when leaned against

21) Both propane lines look old, and one sprung a leak, but can’t be replaced because the hardware has been tightened so hard that the nuts flatten rather than move

22) Propane regulator leaks from one side to the other.

When I made my very first call to discuss the first 17 problems I’d found, I was treated to condescending dismissals, argument, and sarcastic questions.

When I brought in my trailer (twice) under their 15-day warranty, they saved toilet repairs for last, both times, requiring me to return – and because of the distance, each trip cost hundreds of dollars.  It took three trips back to get most of the repairs made. Many were not.

Two problems I discovered after the 15 days they refused to address without payment, saying they’d “gone above and beyond” already for me.

I reported all these issues to the Better Business Bureau, which gave them two opportunities to respond.  Both times, they and their PR folks were unable to defend a single one of my points.  (It should hit the Tucson Better Business Bureau site soon if it hasn’t already.)

Tell me this is all just an accident – that this trailer, with only a few systems, would have so many things wrong with it.  I assume it’s another harassment, part of being a “targeted individual,” draining away all my time and money for months (and it’s not over), pushing me for my whistle-blowing crimes, and insulting me by not even emptying (or maybe filling?) the sewage tank.

While waiting for my hitch to be put on, out of the blue, the owner and business manager asked me if I was a vegetarian (I used to be), with a face that said he hoped his humor didn’t show.  I was dressed in my most conservative clothes, so I wondered whether he already knew all about me because he’d been working with my controllers.

You think I’m too fixated on targeting?  Did I mention RV City sits right outside Fort Huachuca, the primary center of American military intelligence?  (They’re hugely involved in mind control.)  It only makes sense that the 30-year owner would be friends with those guys.

So why did I buy there?  I knew it was a high possibility he could be in league with the kontrollers.  I was not in a good state of mind, extremely not, actually, and people were telling me not to be so paranoid, so I tried.  I went in there, and trusted people I should not have.

This trailer was exactly the highest price I was willing to pay and had all the elements I was looking for.   And I hadn’t found anything close in two weeks of looking, and this one had all my requirements.  So I assume the kontrollers put it together just for me, and used all the crappiest components they could find.

While waiting for my trailer hitch to be installed, I interrupted the technician to get something out of my truck with an apology.  He responded, “Oh, no problem.  You’re fun.”  But I’d not been fun.  I’d been sitting alone in the waiting room for hours and had hardly talked to him.  I wondered even then if he was in on the joke.

I guess I needed a lesson to quit trying to please my friends by “being positive.”  Life goes better when I acknowledge my reality.

Next:  How The Solar Store in Tucson wired my trailer for my new photovoltaic panels.  Summary:  After almost two months, and three trips involving five days, I’m still waiting for the system to be made functional.  It’s all the more shocking because the owner is a former colleague on the activist/progressive business front in Tucson.  Was she told something terrible about me and has also joined in my harassment?  

Trump and his Women

I have been extremely ambivalent about talking publicly about MY mind control.  I came to understand it in 2002, and only gained control of my fear by documenting my actual experiences daily and comparing them to the documentation of researchers, therapists and other mind control subjects which has been gathered for decades – confirming that I have, indeed, been the victim of this crime for my entire life. 

I have not reported it to police because they are often in on it, and my first attempt to report a stalker at my home in 2000 was met with ridicule and absolute denial by the local sheriff despite physical evidence.  I have reported my mysterious wounds to at least a half-dozen medical personnel, presenting both photographs and my own body for their inspection, and they – who have the legal professional duty to report crimes like this to the police – also seem afraid, and none has ever mentioned the possibility that this should be reported.

inside

The interior of my punctured and lacerated vagina, which made one woman gynecologist cry 

I have had my home broken into, a portable door lock broken the second day it was used.  I have woken with Taser burns on my arms, burns other places on my body, injection bruises (twice a week for over a year), “donut” bruises, biopsy scoop marks, vaginal lacerations and punctures, other sexual irritations indicating rape, apparent “implants,” and much more (photos elsewhere on this site). 

IMG_5780

After Tasering, drugging, or something.  Face muscles nearly immobilized, left eye turned inward.

These physical wounds are almost always accompanied by extreme exhaustion and disability that can last from 1 to 13 days.  And the frequency was increasing until very recently.  Occasionally I’ve been apparently left alone for a few months, but for most of the last six years (since I produced a video about my mind control), I’ve been harassed in the night (and sometimes the day) and made amnesic about it almost every month, usually multiple times every month, resulting the past year in about 15 days per month with symptoms – until this month.  Maybe I’m just getting a break?  Maybe it’s over?  I never know.

There seems to be a pattern of choosing people for mind control from certain families.  My family lineage includes Masons, Mormons, military, and people associated with the government – common among MK subjects, though we’re not exclusive.  I had two years of amnesia from age 6 to 8, like many other MK subjects report, and my family moved into a large custom home shortly after my amnesia ended, and many subjects report their parents were rewarded with big homes for having enrolled their children in a program promised to make them “special.”

The purposes of MK are pretty much what you see in futuristic sci-fi:  super soldiers and sex slaves, spies and couriers.  The evidence of my life is that I was trained and used for sex slavery, spying, and maybe more.  Once, when faced with a crazy man trying to break through my front door, I found myself responding as though I had the skill to kill someone with a knife in a single movement; I described all my actions and thoughts to a double-black belt, and he said I sounded like one who knew exactly how to kill.  And once when falling, I found myself performing a perfect tuck and roll and came up running as though I’d been trained in martial arts.  I have amnesia for many summer vacations, and many other amnesic episodes, so I suspect this is when some of my training occurred beyond those initial two years.

What I’ve described is often called MKULTRA, but I’ve often written that everyone in America is subject to “MK Lite” – via television, movies, education, “news,” and other entertainments.  I know a woman who was MK’d in the military, another MK’d since childhood to be a super soldier, and I know of women and men who’ve spoken out and been apparently murdered, though sometimes it was made to look like suicide. 

This is a very frightening arena to find myself in, especially as an activist who’s made it her life work to speak out against injustice.  I just never knew I’d ever need to speak out for myself, and this has been by far the hardest, and I’ve done the poorest job on this.  Because of fear.  Fear that I could be murdered.  And fear that they’ll increase the punishment next time they come for me.  Already, they’ve made it impossible for me work, not only by disabling me so regularly, but by sabotaging me socially with lies spread about I don’t know what – something that makes large groups of friendly acquaintances suddenly shun me and destroy my chances of working for a living.  It’s for this reason I was forced to sell my home and drastically downsize my entire life to live in 120 square feet that is all I can afford now.  And many MK subjects report the same forcing into poverty so our choices, and ability to protect ourselves, are drastically limited.

So why am I speaking out again now?  Because people have questioned my interest in the Trump women’s sexualized photographs now circulating on the Internet.  Friends have suggested the photos are irrelevant, but I suggest that they are very relevant to a huge, hidden, organized crime residing in our nation’s capitol, which some people are naively hoping Trump will clean up, but I sense he’ll only expand it, and his women are the first step in normalizing the signs and signals that might otherwise alert us.

Our nation’s capitol is rife with mind control and sexual slavery right now.  The “Senate page scandal” of the 80s revealed one small aspect of a huge criminal network.  Then the door quietly closed, and everyone was left to believe the problem was cleaned up, but it is NOT.  It continues to this day with many sexual slaves on duty against their will, entertaining, spying, blackmailing, destroying people’s lives, sometimes murdering.  You wonder why our Congress makes such bad decisions?  You think they’re stupid?  I absolutely believe they are simply crushed between calculated rocks and hard places, doing what they need to do so they and their families will not be destroyed.

I did not vote for Trump, but I agree with his sentiment that we need to drain the swamp.  But I think it’s a much bigger job than Trump can do, and I don’t believe Trump even would if he understood.  But maybe he understands completely and is just playing a new game on the populace.  He requires all the women around him, even secretaries, be “beautiful” to his standard.  Most frightening, the Trump women all look and speak like sexualized mind control subjects – and I think I’m one who knows.

2016-10-05_1210.jpgMy sincere concern is that he and his women are helping the average American to accept these sexualized images of silenced women as a worthy goal to aspire to.  It’s as if the criminal MK operations of our nation, heretofore secret, are being given a “lite” preview to the nation in the limelight of a “popular” man, these images of female sex and silence presented as normal or acceptable.

Few people recognize mind control.  But I have lived a very unusual life, have lived and suffered with mind control, have done who-knows-what in amnesic states, but also risked my life occasionally to write and video blog about what I do know – and these women are the most blatant silent and sexualized women ever paraded before the American people in politics. 

These women MIGHT have thought their sexual posing was their choice, but we don’t know that.  We might choose to give them credit for making their own choices, and say their choices are not relevant to politics, but I believe these women are not acting of their own free will (whether MKULTRA or MK Lite), and their presence in the political arena today bodes ill for the future of women in our world.

It’s more than a national embarrassment.  It’s a picture of women I pray, pray, pray does not get normalized.  I posted photos of them on FB to remind people that this is debasing to women and there’s something here to think about.

I welcome your feedback.

Interview with Tom Montalk

Montalk-2-150x150.jpgTom Montalk describes the different experiences of alien and occult interference in one’s life.  For some, it can be both.

https://www.thecosmicswitchboard.com/2016/08/12/montalk-interview/

Here’s the comment I wrote for this:

Excellent interview, James. Really appreciate your spare style and insightful questions.

Tom Montalk’s presentation is excellent too, also spare, clear, with examples that ring true with my experience. It’s a pleasure to find something new, not making me “wonder if,” but describing my own life in clear, succinct, and interesting terms. Thank you. You’ve done us all a favor.

You also give me hope. Your presentation helped me understand my situation more clearly, and that’s always good, generally. And you confirmed my attitude of ignoring certain experiences while responding to others strategically. I can take heart that I have developed some skills, and I see more clearly where I need strengthening. I’ll be telling my readers about this interview.

“Being a Shaman,” by Story

jove and treeI just read the most perfect and succinct description of how I relate to the world.

By Story, from:
https://wherespiritstops.
wordpress.com/2016/
08/13/being-a-shaman/

I am a spirit-seer; I cross between realities to learn the unknowable and befriend wondrous beings, for even the most powerful benefit from my humble blessings. I transcend time and space to see that which cannot be seen, and find my way through the darkest of places. I dance between contradictions and surrender myself to paradoxes. I know the physical and the imaginary are of equal value. I commune with the universe and feel the infinite connections running through it.

I am everything and nothing; simultaneously infinitely meaningful and infinitely meaningless. I give and take; I bless and am blessed. And in the end I am simply human, trying to live up to my potential.

 

Organized Stalking interview

I’m not a big fan of this radio style, but this is a good interview with good information about this subset of mind control harassment.

I’ve been experiencing this for a long time.  If anyone else has, you’re welcome to contact me for advice.

Be strong.

Limitless, limited

Screen Shot 2016-08-03 at 1.36.22 PM.pngFor a lot of years, I’ve been grateful to discover books and movies that convey any sense of the strangeness of my life.  I found small bits in Whitley Strieber’s Communion and other stories, The Secret School, in particular.  Even Men in Black had elements that affirmed some of my weird life experiences.  A couple of years ago, one of my college students told me about the Bourne Identity, and I was more deeply moved again, perhaps with hope that one day people will be able to look at the reality that some of us are early experiments, were severely messed with, are still being messed with, and it’s a torment, sometimes life threatening, giving me at least one heart attack, and years of panic attacks, grief and despair over my past, and my present, and my future.

For fourteen years, I’ve been on a roller coaster of emotions:  gratitude for finally understanding my life and knowing I have the spiritual resources to continue the crippling life I’ve been given with love and purpose, determination to speak my truth, despite physical and emotional sickness from the controllers’ pushback, usually in the form of electronic harassment and social sabotage, and fear that the bruises and burns on my body, and sexual wounds, means that something else is going on that I’m amnesic for, and for which my roller coaster continues:  panic, depression, hopelessness, isolation, rest, stillness, recovery, determination to take care of feeding myself and paying the bills while healing, with hope, and back to gratitude – for how long, I wonder, till I’m “hit” again.

I’m surprised to see these words I’ve written.  They’re totally true, but the picture seems pathetic when I imagine someone else reading them, like I’m a bug in a can, pushing itself for days against the metal side, determined but futile until it dies:  continued hope where there seems to be no reason.  But I have reasons.

For one, I might be wrong about my interpretation of all this.  Second, maybe there’s a spiritual way to rise above it, maybe even it could be the tool of my consciousness transformation.  Finally, there seem to be beings on some dimension, maybe my spiritual helpers, or maybe my controllers using technology that only feels “spiritual,” who sometimes heal me in seconds with a download of energy from who knows where.  I can go from too sick to lift a glass to my mouth to standing, stretching, happy, launching into my most productive state in a matter of five seconds.

Other times it feels like less of a healing and more of a lifting of oppression – electronically.  One night, I fell heavily into bed after many days of being too tired to feed myself properly, and crashed immediately.  One hour later, I woke up with a start, and a feeling of amazement and gratitude – and the distinct sense that someone had turned a dial and relieved me of some vibration that had been targeting and oppressing me for days.  Like a heavy weight had been lifted off me while I slept, and the relief was welcome but so surprising it woke me out of a deepest sleep.

Those of us who’ve angered the Powers that Be, I believe, are probably semi-retired from our MK work when we get my age, except for upkeep and maintenance, but we’ve also been turned over to others who need guinea pigs for various sorts of testing, which explains the wide range of wounds I’ve recorded over the years.  I’ve woken with a fully-healed surgical scar, unusually fine and straight, on my neck, which years later a nurse would assume was a scar from thyroid surgery, which I haven’t had, to my knowledge.  Countless other healed white scars have appeared on my hands for years – something other targeted individuals have also recorded.  I’ve woken with Taser burns, other third-degree burns, donut-shaped bruises, injection bruises (or so they appeared, twice a week for over a year), biopsy scoop marks, puncture wounds, deep lacerations inside my vagina, and more – all recorded and photographed – including the interior ones, thanks to a professional photographer lover.  And these wounds attend days or weeks of severe exhaustion and disability, which when I recover burden me to catch up with everything I didn’t do for those days or weeks – before I can even think about whether to try to make a living again.

These past five years have been the worst, and each year has been more intense than the last – interfering seriously with all my attempts to make a living – which is why I’m leaving my home and community, to go where I hope to live cheaply on my Social Security, all I have.  Some people theorize that we’re more than just guinea pigs, that our unwilling enrollment is part of a larger program with the purpose of punishing us in many, many ways for our political work, depressing our energy, and discrediting us and all we might have to say.  Yes, silencing political dissidents – though I thought I was just exercising my American Right of Free Speech, to make my country proud.  I guess that was all a big lie.

So I’m watching a lot of Limitless these days, satisfied to see a slight semblance of my life concerns dramatized for all the world to see:  the government controlling one’s life, threatening one’s life, even though it’s sometimes amazing “fun.”  I related to the main character’s fast brain, the conversations he has with various parts of himself, and the overwhelming distraction that can be as well as a wealth of information, full perspective, and creative solutions – when things are going well.  The imagined good purpose in being a pioneer in supposedly America’s and the Earth’s future.  Family members not believing or understanding, and distrusting whatever the character/I say.  The danger, the wounds, the constant spiritual challenge, strange people suddenly entering your life with the power to drag you in regardless of your desire.

Lately, I’ve been talking to the walls, telling the people I presume are listening in to my home (there are clear and abundant signs they are listening) that I’m trying hard to lighten up on my assumption that they are evil, Satanic, pedophile perverts (an idea most of us accept at some point, though it’s almost too terrifying to live with) and see if instead I can imagine my tormenters as really just working for a non-human Creator who doesn’t realize his efforts to control the minds of his people with root-chakra shock and related techniques is so traumatic that he’s destroying our potential, or nearly, at least for me.  And I wonder if I should simply be communicating my needs better, as if the non-human controller can’t read my distress and despair otherwise.  So I’ve been talking with a little less anger and fewer F-word denunciations.

To my surprise, two of the last three nights I was treated to a download of healing energy.  I actually woke in the night after only one hour sleep with the shocking realization that I felt good – so good, so surprisingly good, that it woke me up after only one hour of sleep. 

Maybe I shouldn’t publish this; maybe it was someone taking sympathy, and that person might get in trouble for the kindness given me.  Or maybe it’s my controllers making sure I’m healthy enough to keep living for their secret purposes.  I don’t know.

It’s a bitch to live your life and just never know the source of the weird shit that keeps happening behind the scenes, but with results left as wounds and scars on my body, telling me that something is definitely happening.  And that’s where my life is far less blessed than Finch’s in Limitless.  But I’ll keep watching.  It’s something to make me feel less alone in this F-ing weirdness.

And now and then I recognize some ability I have, like brainstorming with a crew of very talented parts inside myself, that might have been nurtured and developed as part of my MK training, and I feel a tiny bit hopeful.  It may be rather late in life (age 64) to think I might be any more significant use to myself or others, at least from this pit I’ve sunk into these recent years, but we gotta take hope where we can get it.  Right?

Alright, now, back to the world, grateful and happy to be able to function!  I can do it pretty well between their “hits,” given appropriate recovery time.  I’m grateful to be in recovery space again.  Getting things done, taking care of life successfully, and watching Limitless when I need a break.  Crazy world….

Basic Info on Child Porn – Basic to Mind Control

Every Image Every Child.pngSince the beginning of history, child sexual abuse* has been fundamental to mind control.  Consider:  harems, geishas, and CIA Presidential models – all involved girls and boys trained from youth in sexual servitude to the rulers and their courts.

The masses were invited in with the invention of photography – and porn was born.

Today, the Internet has facilitated a custom-tailored desensitization/addiction process for any person who’s dipped their toe into the waters of Internet pornography, so that the number of porn viewers has exploded worldwide (it may be one of the world’s largest industries), at the same time the abuse has become more and more violent and degrading, and the victims have become younger and younger.

Is this an accident of human weakness that no one saw coming or knows how to address?  Or was it planned and carried out by a conspiracy of industrialists, creating a marketable quantity of addicted servants?  Or …?

Here are the facts in Canada.  Is there an equivalent in the U.S.  Anyone?  (I’m tired today.)

http://www.victimsfirst.gc.ca/pdf/childp-pjuvenile.pdf


* By torturing a child in their sexual center – their root chakra – their soul, spirit, or energetic field is split, open to whatever the controller wants to insert, deep beneath conscious understanding.

 

Sex Trafficking in Trucking Stations

Screen_Shot_2016-06-29_at_9.23.51_PM.pngI am mostly unfamiliar with the trucking industry, but as a mind control subject, I know how “easily” this $150 Billion industry ifunctions – and what the result is:

http://www.dailykos.com/story/

2016/6/29/1543694/-Truckers-unite-to-identify-and-rescue-victims-of-sex-trafficking

It’s satisfying to hear the FBI agent talk about how wrong this is, but the reality is they are going after only the “lower class” pimps and customers – and I pray they’ll one day go after the “high class” mind control pimps (psychiatrists, psychologists, politicians, etc) and help free their slaves as well.

The phone number in the text accompanying the video is incomplete; it is 1-888-373-7888.

Their site:  https://traffickingresourcecenter.org/

10 Tips For Spouses and Partners of Survivors with Dissociative Identity Disorder

Useful for partners ~

Discussing Dissociation

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Divorce, Separation, Relationship, Argument, Conflict

.

So you care deeply about someone with Dissociative Identity Disorder.  There was something wonderful about them that drew you to them, and something trustworthy about you that drew them to you.

Beautiful as that may be, you are probably confused about all the dissociative issues that happen day-to-day.

Have you ever wondered why that happens, or why this happens?

Have you ever felt confused with the different behaviors you see coming from your dissociative partner?

Have you wondered how do you live with someone with a Dissociative Disorder?

I have some ideas.  Start with these things:

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1.Gain an understanding of what DID is.

There is a wealth of information available to learn about DID and all Dissociative Disorders.  Your loved one will not be able to explain everything to you, nor do they need to do that, nor will the pressure to explain everything to you be…

View original post 1,937 more words

United States of PsyOps: Call Them Paranoid. Call Them Delusional.

Great summary article for those new to Electromagnetic Harassment, Targeted Individuals, etc.

The EveryDay Concerned Citizen

by Ramola D/The Everyday Concerned Citizen/Posted June 13, 2016

Increasing numbers of highly credible and educated individuals, both in the US and globally, have been coming forward to report electronic harassment—physically measurable assaults on their bodies and brains with remote-controlled radiation weapons or directed-energy weapons, covertly-installed RFID and Bio-MEM implants, as well as COINTELPRO-style organized stalking and mobbing in their neighborhoods and communities.

Scientists have stepped in to validate these reports, including an Artificial Intelligence (AI) and Cybernetics expert, Dr. Robert Duncan, who reports working for the Department of Defense and the CIA on AI and neuroscience projects which seek to electronically stimulate and rewire human brains. He points to the CIA’s MKULTRA and Monarch Programming techniques which used LSD and torture to reprogram personalities as precursor to current-day covert brain experiments and classified-research field testing of weapons.

Barrie Trower, a microwave weapons expert who worked for the UK…

View original post 1,904 more words

Doing the Work of Healing

And here’s another from Story, perhaps more to the point, reposted from https://wherespiritstops.wordpress.com/2016/06/09/doing-the-work-of-healing/:

One of the most difficult lessons in acceptance lies in the fact that we encounter situations that may not have been our fault (like a car crash) but which have consequences that require us to do painful, difficult work (like physiotherapy for injuries) in order to get through the experience and ultimately overcome it.

Any lack of acceptance of this fact will leave one stranded and stuck in one’s own life journey, asking why me? and protesting that this isn’t fair. Of course, this attitude doesn’t accomplish anything except to prolong and potentially exacerbate the problem at hand.

The work we are required to do in life never ends; in fact, life has a funny way of finding something for us to do if we have too much stagnant time on our hands. But one can easily find ways to avoid doing the work, especially when it comes to healing one’s own soul from past hurts. This is the most important work we can do for ourselves and the potential for growth, renewal, and reward is exhilarating.

Yet all too often we resist. Because it doesn’t seem fair that we should have to do the work, and perhaps because we fear both how hard it will be, and also how much responsibility for our life we will be claiming as our own. After all, if we believe we can’t heal ourselves, then it’s not our own fault that we’re unhappy, right?

No.

It is terrifying to accept full responsibility for our physical and spiritual lives, and many people are devotedly determined to avoid that responsibility. By claiming responsibility for our own lives, we have the potential to create our own present and future selves in ways that, when we were stuck in our pasts, we could not have imagined. Unfortunately, this thrilling truth is overshadowed by our fear of failure, because if we are solely responsible for our own healing and growth, any sense of failure leaves us with nothing to blame but ourselves.

What if I told you – what if I outright promised you – that you have the power to dream yourself into a new state of being simply through faith and doing the work? What if I told you that by surrendering to your own responsibilities you could actuallyguarantee a better, happier, healthier, more fulfilling and infinitely free life for yourself? And, you can’t fail. You’ll make mistakes and life will still throw things at you that you’ll have to figure out how to handle. But if you are doing the work, you can’t actually fail at all. It’s a win-win situation where what you’re really doing is claiming your soul’s purpose and living for it.

The only thing you have to do is surrender to the fact that you are responsible for your own life’s happiness and achievement. After that, you will be comforted to know that there is little else to surrender yourself to.

I am writing to you as a survivor of abuse of every sort, beginning as early as I can possibly remember. As a result of this, I suffered a multitude of symptoms of various mental disorders – PTSD, social anxiety, eating disorders, depression, self-harm, and extreme dissociation. I experienced constant body memories, a type of somatic pain that could be excruciating, as if the past abuse was happening in the present moment. I came to identify as a multiple, meaning that I knew my soul was fractured into countless pieces due to the trauma I experienced. The wounds and consequences of my past gripped me in an iron fist of pain and fear and a complete lack of personal power or hope.

I thought I was broken and couldn’t be fixed. I could not recall a time when I had ever felt whole and sane and strong. But by taking complete responsibility for working my own healing, by definition I also claimed all the power over it and am now achieving more than I could have ever dreamed possible.

In the last six months especially, I have been freed from almost every  debilitating symptom that I used to experience daily. I’ve been doing hard, relentless work, every single day. It’s not an easy road, but it is my road and to give up healing would be to give up my own personal power.

The most instrumental concepts behind my work towards healing can be summed up in two statements: 1) I am not morally responsible for anything that happened during the years of my abuse, due to the young age at which it began and the way I was kept controlled. 2) I am completely responsible (both causally and morally) for my soul’s purpose now.

To me, it is a simple fact that nothing that happened to me throughout my childhood, and even into my adulthood, was my fault. I did not deserve the abuse I suffered. Further, I had no choice and no freedom during that period of my life, being as much a captive as anyone can be. You can’t blame a prisoner of war for things she was forced to do by her captors under threat of death. I did a lot of unpleasant things under force, and those things aren’t my fault either.

Is it fair that these things happened to me, or that the work I have done has been so difficult, even deeply unpleasant? I don’t think in those terms. I might as well ask if it is fair that my heart must continue beating on and on without rest.

The heart beats because it is the work and purpose of the heart’s existence. Likewise, I heal because it is my soul’s purpose to do so, at least in part.

I believe I can achieve a complete transformation of my body, mind and soul — simply because no one else can do it for me.  This is my life’s work, and I accept it with grace and gratitude.

Shamanic Soul Loss and Soul Retrieval

reposted from:  https://wherespiritstops.wordpress.com/2016/06/10/shamanic-soul-loss-and-soul-retrieval/#like-3960

imagesEven though I’ve voiced my occasional discomfort with “shamanism,” it is not (or no longer) with the actual practice and life associated with the term.  My discomfort is mostly with the casual way that some people approach and undertake methodologies (all the colorful tools, for instance) without understanding the intelligence and energies.  

This blog seems to respect the reality better than most – by Story from Where Spirit Stops:

persephone n hades cropLife takes energy from us violently and traumatically at times. Why this happens is a human question that no human answer will really satisfy. Suffice it to say that suffering affects us all, and when it does, a piece of our personal energy – a piece of our soul – can be severed off from us. We experience this as a piece of ourselves going missing. Losing pieces of ourselves chips away at our power and truth, as well as keeping us from any real healing until the parts are recovered.

For this reason, I advocate a “search and rescue” approach. This means actively seeking our lost parts and working to heal them. I believe it is nearly impossible to get through life without some kind of soul loss, and that people can suffer from deep, crippling soul loss even if they haven’t experienced what they would define as a traumatic event. Trauma comes in all shapes and sizes, and our reactions to events vary from person to person. Also, since I believe a traumatic event can cause soul loss, it follows that until that soul part is found, healed, and re-integrated into the self, one’s memory of that part’s trauma may also be obscured or lost.

How can you know the extent of your soul loss? Consider how you relate to the following symptoms:

  • Constant feelings of sorrow, darkness, or fear
  • Emptiness
  • A driving need for distraction (addiction issues, materialism, avoiding alone time)
  • Feelings of having no purpose or reason to live
  • Lingering, haunting pain from old memories
  • Feeling that something is very wrong with you
  • Symptoms of PTSD (anxiety, depression, hyper vigilance, fear, avoidance of life’s activities), even if you don’t remember a past traumatic event

It is likely that the more you relate to these symptoms, the greater your soul loss is.

Shamanic practitioners who practice soul retrieval might offer instant relief from your suffering and require only faith from the sufferer. I believe that healing and other magic require both faith and action. A practitioner ought not to merely tell someone about the soul part(s) they retrieved, but help that person connect with them personally. As I mentioned, my way of healing advocates “search and rescue” first. I believe finding and building a healing relationship with your lost soul parts is more important than trying to integrate them into yourself immediately. Finding a missing part is the first step towards healing, and beyond that, it’s best not to push. You might end up pushing the lost part away without realizing it. Instead, build a relationship with this soul part just as you would with a spirit guide, and strive to be as honest with yourself as possible.

~

cropped-jovelight3.jpgStory is a shamanic practitioner, offering her services.  I have done and do the same occasionally.  I encourage everyone, though, to never put yourself passively into anyone else’s care, even or especially doctors; you are responsible for your own healing – though getting help is often essential – and learning that self-responsibility is not just the most important thing in our lives, but essential to our soul’s development.

Today, I’m stronger than ever for having accepted the responsibility of healing myself from the shit that others did to me when I was an innocent child.  I do believe that even that shit can be the trigger that leads to my soul’s eventual positive evolution.  And much of my work is exactly what Story describes.  She wrote about it better than I ever have.  Thank you, Story.

CIA admits 14-year study of mind control

mind-control-3X4.jpg“In all, the agency [CIA] conducted 149 separate mind-control experiments, and as many as 25 involved unwitting subjects.  At least one participant died, others went mad, and still others suffered psychological damage after participating in the project, known as MK Ultra.  The C.I.A. … deliberately destroyed most of the MKUltra records in 1973.”  ~~  New York Times article on CIA’s secret behavior modification program

Of course, this is old news – July 1977 – published in the New York Times – http://query.nytimes.com/gst/abstract.html?res=9900EEDD153DE034BC4951DFB166838C669EDE
 recently revisited by my colleague Fred Burks, of PEERS.

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His excellent website – and specifically a page devoted to America’s pursuit of mind control – is here:  http://www.wanttoknow.info/mk/behavior-modification-news-articles, with numerous articles from mainstream American publications revealing what Americans would rather pretend doesn’t exist.  Thanks, Fred!