How I was given Lyme Disease
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Author Archives: Jean Eisenhower
A second interview with Emma
Coping
Being mind controlled is a horrible, demeaning, inhumane situation, and then to be targeted on top of it is beyond words to explain. And then to be disbelieved and isolated nearly completely blows one’s mind.  So what do we do?
First, we distrust almost everyone, we isolate, we despair, and we might even think about how we can depart this life.  I know I did. I used to drive without a seatbelt, tell my angels I was ready to go, that they could arrange it any time.  One day, I gathered up all the painkillers I could find in the house (which had been zero all my life, until I inherited a lot of crap from my partners ex-wife who had died), dropped them in my pocket, and thought about it all day, wondering whether they were enough, then put them back in the medicine cabinet at the end of the day. 
I’ve continued to tell my angels I’ve had enough, and they could arrange it when the time was right, but apparently they never found the time was right, or disagreed with me about whether I needed to leave.  And, sure enough, I find there is enough reason to stay here, at least for now. (Later in the new year, I’m not so confident.)
How do I find purpose, with all the crap we have to negotiate? Basically, I guess my strategy is philosophical and spiritual. 
First, I don’t believe anyone should be so confident as to say they actually know what’s going on here. I believe we all should practice more philosophical humility.  Spiritually, my ideas have evolved so much over the decades that I am happy I am no longer trying to negotiate the world with my old ideas.  I’m happy they have evolved and I am still here to have my soul understand things from a higher level.  It hasn’t been painless, of course, but at this moment in time, it feels worth it. The Buddha said, Life is suffering, which I once found a horrific statement, but it makes sense now. 
As for advice, I suggest we all try to limit our time online, and replace it with experiences in the natural world – no matter how small. A walk to the mailbox.  A potted plant on the patio to care for, or better yet, to eat from each day. (I have arugula out there, which I add to meals all the time.) Volunteering at a food bank. Doing art, even if you’ve never done it before. Draw, write, improve your yard in some little or big way – something to get out of our heads.  And, of course, try to stay in touch with people, even when the ugliest forces in our lives try to destroy that possibility.  Figure it out. Get creative. 
For me, having a mind controlled brain, which means a dissociative brain, I have to depend on a routine that is written down. So I schedule things good for me, and each day check things off the list. I like to use paper, not my phone or computer, so I type up the things I want to do each day, print a bunch of sheets, and usually amend it somewhat before I print the next bunch. That makes me more confident I’m remembering my medicines, remembering to do things good for me like walk, and maximizing everything that’s not staring at a screen.  As we all know, the screen can be used to subliminally drop commands and other junk into our heads. 
In this way, I have accomplished a fair amount of healing, while also tracking the weird stuff of my life, assuring me that I am neither forgetting nor exaggerating exactly what happens. When no one else wants to hear, it’s comforting to know that at least I am paying attention. And, yes, I keep each page to review. Right now, I have 24 years of records!
And when I do spend hour after hour in front of the screen, I note that on my daily list, so I can see how often I lose myself there, and can decide whether I want to be more responsible or not. Recently my own records inspired me to look beyond my standard video fare. I asked a few friends for better quality ideas online, and one’s response led me to an excellent series of podcasts, which I could listen to while working around the house. While sitting in front of videos, I was getting nothing else done. While listening to an excellent podcast, I’ve been able to keep my house cleaner, which makes me feel much better – a very positive change that came about because I was paying attention and tracking what I do.
These habits help me feel more in control of my life, despite the obvious ways it is not. Living with less, but increasing happiness anyway. Reminds me of something I used to say a lot a long time ago: at least bombs aren’t falling. Not all of us can say that. We are fortunate in that way, at least, some of us. Let’s count our blessings. 
Re-posting about Nature Spirits and Reality
A new video interview
Hello, All.
In this 2-hour overview, I briefly summarize my entire life as a mind control subject, multiple personality, and targeted individual. We discuss Jesus in terms of the shamanic worldview. I talk about the UFO and alien experience. Also my family lineage, my spiritual life, my training as a sex slave from childhood, possible connections to autism, the involvement of the Mormon Church and high levels of the US government, and my slow process of coming to realize this secret story in my life.
Thank you for watching and giving us your feedback, here and/or on YouTube – or on one of Emma’s other platforms.
May we educate ourselves to create a better world. Blessings on us all ~
Can’t believe I waited so long to get help
Archetype of the wounded healer, I might be able to help others heal, but I failed at healing myself.
I am grateful now to be working with a Naturopath.
And I hope to be publishing more here soon.
Autism on top of Mind Control?
I have a question for mind control subjects: How many people also relate to being on the autism/Asperger’s spectrum?
I relate to the autism/Asperger’s diagnosis, but I don’t feel comfortable in these groups because my experiences are so complicated by mind control and targeted individual challenges. With all three, I feel quite alone.
When I talk to my targeted friends and acquaintances, I must set aside aspects of my challenges related to mind control and autism. When I talk to my autistic friends, I have to set aside everything to do with mind control and targeting. When I talk to my mind controlled friends, I set aside my autism and targeting issues. And when I talk to “normal” friends and family, I have to set aside all three because they just can’t handle any of it, much less all. So there are days when I just don’t have the mental agility to talk to anyone!
Nevertheless, learning I was “on the spectrum” has been a huge improvement in my self-understanding and in my self-care.
First, here’s how I self-diagnosed: A friend called one day, about 5 years ago, and told me she was just diagnosed “on the Asperger’s spectrum,” and she was so relieved by this diagnosis. My response was polite, but I thought, “Ho hum, another doctor diagnosis.” I don’t trust doctors and was sorry my friend had put so much weight in what I thought of as another “stupid label.”
A couple of years later, searching for some distraction on Netflix, I saw a documentary titled “Aspergers R Us” and thought it sounded like a fun way to learn whatever it was my friend had thought so important.
To my great surprise, I loved the characters in the documentary: intelligent in quirky ways, articulate about things I cared for, and then one of them told a joke that blew me away.
I sat upright in my chair, leaned forward and paused the movie. That was a joke – or rather a sideways, wry comment – I’d tried to communicate a number of times in my life, but people had never gotten the humor, never saw the hilarious perspective and the weird truth it called out in our culture. People had only paused for a moment, looked at me questioningly, and said nothing.
I was now dumbfounded. Did my brain also operate like theirs? Was I “on the spectrum”?
Truth is: I’ve never felt like I knew how to act in normal American society, not in kindergarten, not in third grade, not as a 30-something attending business networking meetings. I’ve always stood on the edge of things and watched, making mental notes of what I observed of things to do and not do, which I’d practice in my head until it was time to step forward and act for real. And so I got by in life – with few close friends, lots of friendly acquaintances, lots of alone time, and surprisingly lots of career success when I could work alone. Eventually, after years of awards and accolades, I had a nervous breakdown at the age of 41, and my life has never been the same.
I discovered I was “multiple” when I was 42. I realized I was a mind control subject when I was almost 50 (and suffered years of terror and wishing I was not alive on planet Earth). Then a decade later, someone copied one of my blog posts and called me a “Targeted Individual.” I was around 60, thought the idea made sense and would explain a lot, but I refused to learn anything about it for another few years until the evidence was too overwhelming and I desperately needed to learn how to take better care of myself.
I didn’t want another label to explain my struggles – but this made absolute sense to me. I’d been an activist, successfully leading or participating in activism against some very powerful entities on our planet – the FBI, CIA, Vatican, Mormon Church, etc. Besides that, when I was a naive, mind-controlled 18-year old, I’d been manipulated into joining a secret society, then quit, even though I had been warned it would be a most terrible, terrible, terrible thing to do, with terrible consequences they couldn’t tell us about. Apparently, some group, or all, had put me on a list for constant and severe harassment in the “Targeted Individual” program. (Look it up. It’s a real government program with fake history saying it was discontinued, though it was only put into secret Special Access Project status.)
I had no time or heart or mental space to think about autism/Asperger’s, so I only learned small bits as they came randomly across my computer, so I learned very slowly.
Nevertheless, as I began to learn about autism and Asperger’s, I wondered if my mind control and multiple personality could have “made me” autistic – but I quickly learned that the autistic community rejects vehemently any causality other than genetics. No “bad parenting” discussions were/are allowed.
Was this because doctors involved in mind control were quashing this reasonable line of thought? Obviously parents wouldn’t want to accept it. Maybe doctors and parents together made this an unwelcome theory. Still, there might be causality there. So I kept the possibility open for my personal investigations.
Meantime, regardless of the cause of my diagnosis, I’ve been tremendously helped by the autism/Asperger’s videos I find online. I’ve discovered that all the ways people “on the spectrum” take care of themselves have helped me take better care of myself.
I now say No whenever I sense a situation will be stressful, or I suggest an alternative. Instead of dinner at a new acquaintance’s home (a few-hour commitment to sit in a new space eating unknown food with an unknown number of unknown people who will bring up any number of subjects in conversation and might get up and walk around behind me at any time any number of times – yikes!), instead of that, I suggest tea or coffee (brief visit) at my house (where things are under my control). When the would-be friend calls later and wants to bring a friend with her to my house, I say No, thank you, maybe another day. And if she’s curious or repeats her earlier requests, I explain I’m “on the autism/Asperger’s spectrum” and need to limit the amount of “new input” I can handle at one time. If she’s understanding, great. If not, I am totally fine with losing or postponing the possibility of that new friend.
Everything I’ve learned about autism and Asperger’s has improved my quality of life tremendously. Previous to my self-diagnosis, I spent every day of my life wondering what was wrong with me, what was the source of the fear I experienced daily about not understanding what everyone else was doing. Every new space with more than one person in it was a source of quiet fear. I’d learned to hide it well, and even become successful in my “known spaces.”
I excelled in math class. I excelled in dance. I accepted challenges to put myself forward, even running for high school student council once, and winning (probably because of my name) – but then was unable to walk in the door and join the rest of the student council (those “popular kids”), and was a no-show all year long! Someone else took over my job, and I never attended, never spoke to the other student council members, never told my parents, never told a school counselor, and amazingly, no one came to ask me! (They knew I was the weird student, and probably didn’t want me.) So I got no help and continued to wonder, What is wrong with me? Today, I no longer wonder, and I recognize that I have a great deal of intelligence and I understand better why.
But I’m also (or was?) a mind control subject (requiring I be made a multiple personality), and I’m a targeted individual. My mind control seems to have been quite successful, as I’ve been able to operate at genius levels in certain subjects, given a supportive environment. As a “high-functioning multiple” today, I appreciate the “committee” inside me and all the intelligence my multiple parts bring together when I’m able to focus quietly.
When I can focus alone, I can accomplish complicated, award-winning work, such as launching a successful international environmental design trade journal, raising tens of thousands of dollars for an independent radio station (without big name donors to lead), and do successful international media work exposing the lies of some of the most powerful entities on the planet (FBI, CIA, Mormon Church, Vatican, etc). Clearly, my inner “committee” can operate quite successfully when given a chance. And most likely, that’s why I was targeted, to disable me and diminish this level of work against powerful people.
But my old secret fear – what’s wrong with me? – no longer haunts me when I face new situations. I wish I’d known about it as a child. I now know I have a different sort of brain, brilliant in some ways, but limited in dealing with numbers of people in uncontrollable situations. I can teach a college classroom because the students are one block of humanity, contained in my familiar space, for which I’m allowed to set the rules. I can direct a non-profit Board of Directors for the same reasons.
Attending a large event like a concert or farmers market, where I have no control, I can attend, socialize as much as I want, and leave when I want. I know my limits and now I honor them – without feeling bad about it. I’m unique, and I now like myself so much better – even though I’m still mind controlled, multiple, and targeted. I hate those things, but those are not me.
Those are the result of programs installed by shitty people in power, doing what they’ve always done: act on behalf of the global Powers That Be to control the populace with known techniques and new ones they might try to develop on people like me. I got on their list by being born into a family with lineages under the thumb of the PTB. My bad fortune. But then I made my situation worse by becoming an activist against the PTB, even before I understood why I might hate them. I’ve had to quit my activism to some extent, but I’m trying to make the best of the rest of my life.
Any other mind control subjects here relate? If not, that’s okay. Maybe I’m as rare as I feel.
Or maybe there are others who’ve just not been encouraged or allowed to speak up yet.
Thanks for caring about these subjects. Blessings on us all.
Discrediting those who remember
Like many mind control subjects, I have been discredited all of my life – to set a foundation in the event I remember too much and begin to speak.
This began in my childhood, as I explain in this video:
Targeting goes on
It seems someone is injecting toxic gas into my house – through my bedroom window.
It happened five times in January, then stopped. Then tonight, I walked into my bedroom and began staggering again. I got out my flammable gas meter, a handheld device that I took outside to calibrate in the fresh air, then came back in to have the meter begin to make noise. The loudest sound came from the ceiling, quietest near the floor, and the very loudest in the bedroom, especially near the window next to my bed.I guess they’re trying to kill me again.
New Memoir Chapter Two – Earliest Memories
Earliest memories: Disappointment – as if, in her earliest years, she remembered other lives to compare to this one.
“This can’t work,” she’d thought, looking down the empty hallway where she wasn’t allowed, where her parents were. She remembered more, not of any one thing, but of everything she’d experienced so far in this life. “This can’t make healthy humans,” she’d have said if she’d had the language. It was worse than she’d imagined, and she worried for this era of humanity and thought this lifetime was going to be an especially difficult one.
Indeed, her family in the multiple dimensions retrieved her regularly away to nourish her spirit, revive her, then return her, feeling loved and willing to meet the challenges. She never remembered anything about her family over there, no images, no arrangement of people, nothing but the knowledge that they loved her, things made sense there, but not in this culture at this time, and she had to be strong.
One time, however, when she was perhaps 5, she returned with distressing news: They wouldn’t retrieve her again for “a very long time.” They’d be watching, and helping, but they couldn’t retrieve her, and she’d have to just remember they were there for her. She felt like a rock, immobilized, afraid to be afraid, so she was still. Then she remembered: Be brave. They’re watching and caring, even if it doesn’t feel like it. They just can’t help me all the time.
For a short while, she was comforted and advised by a little angel child she called Cathy, who appeared to her now and then – on her own schedule, never summoned, no matter how much she was requested, and one day even that ended.
In her fifties and sixties, she met psychics, shamans, and medicine people who remarked on the helpers they could see surrounding her, and sometimes she could see others noticing them, but she herself never did.
More times than she could count, they healed her when they could – rarely when she cried out, prayed, or did ritual, but on some schedule of their own she could never discern.
She might be disabled for as many as thirteen days, sunken into the sofa, not a decent meal eaten in weeks because she had no energy, and suddenly a beam would hit the top of her head and flow through her, enlarging every cell, requiring she adjust her body to allow it to expand, and she’d feel as if every cell inside her had been restored to perfection, and she’d suddenly have energy to do all the things she hadn’t been able to do, and she’d be immediately restored in seconds. It was thrilling. She always leaped to her toes and thanked her helpers – whoever they are, she’s never been sure how to visualize them – and began catching up with life, again, happy and grateful.
That’s how most people saw her: happy, friendly, even “popular,” someone said once, which made her laugh. She always felt like such a loner. As a child, she’d been the one standing by the fence, wondering what the other kids were doing that was called “play.” But she watched and copied, eventually learned to act like them, the best version of them, and it worked. As a child, it was wonderful to make people smile with her cleverness. Older, she learned to listen to others, became a student of communication, learned to carefully select her own stories to share, and eventually was surprised to find herself successful as a social individual and business woman.
Inside, though, she was hiding all these experiences that her culture said were not to be discussed, were not real. But they felt real. And there were so many of them. It was stressful to hide these things. Fortunately, books about shamans and mystics of all cultures confirmed these things are reality, only hidden from the masses, denied, and ridiculed by a culture that for some reason doesn’t want to acknowledge a more multi-dimensional world and our being part of it.
Then one day, the mundane facts of her life, real stuff, hard data, seemed to present a framework to explain her most bizarre memories and flashbacks. They emerged from some hidden place she’d shoved them, and assembled themselves into a coherent pattern.
She was born into lineages of Freemasons, military, Mormons, and Hollywood – all groups documented to have been involved in some type of mind control.
She was also born on an auspicious day – July 7, 1952. 07-07-52 “reduces” (numerology term) to 7-7-7, a highly mystical number. It also happened to be a Full Moon under which she was born. Not just within the 24-hour cycle that is the day, but within 8 minutes of the Full Moon’s moment of perfection – that’s within 2/1000ths of a degree. And it was a Monday – Moon-day, originally. And it was in the middle of Cancer, also known as Moon Child, “ruled by the Moon.” Three sevens, and three moons. There are secret societies keenly interested in coincidences like these.
Later the day of her birth, her father’s second cousin, Dwight David Eisenhower, was publicly nominated to the Republican ticket for the Presidential race. Perhaps a secret society also selected that day for his nomination?
Her parents were living in student housing on the campus of the University of California Davis. The next year, perhaps while she was still there or shortly afterward, The Human Ecology Project would be instituted there, which many researchers assert was a cover for mind control projects. Whether she was involved in any early experiments is not known, but it’s an intriguing coincidence.
She would come to believe the foundation for her mind control was overseen by Dr. Louis Jolyon (“Jolly”) West, an “institution” in MKULTRA, and someone she heard her mother and grandmother discuss; her pediatrician (who delivered her), Addison Udall (cousin of Congressman Stewart Udall who would become Secretary of the Interior); and the Mormon Church.
When her son was healing from cancer, the children and she had moved to a new apartment, and she was still working and seeing a therapist, she’d been asked to tell the therapist about her growing up. She’d begun by saying her childhood was “normal.” The following Saturday, with the kids visiting friends, she decided to use the rare private time to “ask inside” whether any “inner children” wanted to tell her anything more about her childhood she might have forgotten.
Suddenly, sitting on the edge of her bed, she re-experienced an event in which she lay on her back, too young yet to roll over. Human hands did things around her, and she felt freedom between her legs. Then touching, poking, then she left her body. First she saw her mother, slumped on the floor, hand over her mouth, eyes in shock and grief, then was looking down on three men in white, facing a pedestal in a white room, ignoring her mother on the floor.
No stainless steel, this wasn’t a medical environment, but a ritual one – making it more shocking to make sense of than otherwise. She’d hold this flashback in suspension for years, then one day learn the Mormons have a room called “The Holy of Holies” (phrase borrowed from the Hebrews’ Bible) in every Temple, in which they conduct secret ceremonies, wherein only certain Mormons are allowed to enter or even know what goes on there.
She’d learn also that Mormons are the largest denomination working for the Central Intelligence Agency, in which mind control has been managed for 60 years. And one of the foundational requirements of mind control is to split the mind, with torture, and the earlier in life, the better.
When she was four or five, she remembered some man, perhaps a Mormon missionary, counseling her father in their den while she played nearby, “Marry a Mormon woman, and you get the children too.” She wasn’t sure she knew what that meant, but suspected it was that stuff she wasn’t supposed to talk about, so she froze the memory, which came back to her one day after the out-of-body flashback. Later, she’d learn from Ann Diamond’s books on her mind control experiences, that one of the ways the CIA procured parental agreement to put and keep their children in the program was to catch (or create?) pedophiles and threaten them with prison. Perhaps the missionary set up her father, recorded a discussion, then police busted him and forced his agreement.
It’s also possible her father was molesting her before that missionary encouragement, because, when she was 3 or 4, she told her mother something that made her mother fly into a rage, hauling her into the bathroom, shoving a bar of soap in her mouth, and screaming that she could never say anything like that again. (What did she say? She can only guess.)
Then her mother told her pediatrician she thought her daughter was “crazy,” and she told her aunt and random people that came to the house. And she continued to discredit her daughter the rest of her life, questioning random memories she might contribute even to happy family story-telling around the table decades later. No matter how inconsequential, her mother was likely to interrupt her and deny whatever it was.
She paraphrased what the daughter had heard the pediatrician say: “I’ve always said you had an active imagination, and you mix up your dreams with memories.” Over and over again she heard those words. Even when she drew a floor plan of the Student Housing apartment at UC Davis, showing the entry room, front window, stove and range hood and sink, where the linoleum turned to carpet, and where an easy chair angled by a wall.
“You couldn’t remember that!” her mother denounced automatically, but with rare vehemence. “You were 14 months old when we moved away from there,” she gestured to the floor plan drawn on a napkin on the table.
“But you just confirmed I remember.” Her mother’s face contorted and she pushed her chair back from the dining table and walked toward a nearby picture window and looked out, reciting, “I’ve always said you had an active imagination, and you mix up your dreams with memories.”
Hearing this, the hair rose up on the back of her neck. It was the first time she recognized her mother was using the exact same words and the same sing-song lilt as if she’d practiced saying these words a thousands times to herself. The daughter was struck by her mother’s apparent fear, and felt suddenly terribly sorry for her. She must feel guilty for something. But what? She hadn’t remembered anything weird yet, had only struggled to understand what was wrong with her, and still believed she’d had a “normal,” even fortunate childhood – with lessons, vacations, even a swimming pool in the backyard. What in the world could her mother feel so guilty for?
What was the worst thing she could imagine? Certainly not violence. Sometime, in high frustration, maybe locking her in a closet? That was the worst thing she could imagine. And whatever it was, she shouldn’t feel bad about it all these years later! Too bad she can’t just admit it and say, “Yeah, parenthood can be frustrating!” And they could all agree, No problem, Mom, all’s forgiven. The daughter determined to try to have some sort of conversation with her mother sometime, to ease her mind, let her know she was fine, and her mother didn’t need to feel guilty about anything.
But they never had that conversation, and later the daughter would realize she wasn’t just fine. There were things done to her that hurt her, that caused all those strange gaps in her memory.
Other experiences in the Mormon Church, occasional, sporadic, would result in her vowing to “never go back there again.” But after they moved to Paradise Valley, Arizona, when she came home from school one day to see her mother talking to Mormon missionaries in the living room, she became paralyzed momentarily and thought ominously, “They found us.”
Her mother would occasionally announce they were being taken to church, and she would never object. At age thirteen, she was informed she would attend “MIA,” a Wednesday late afternoon class involving crafts and badges to go on bandelos they’d wear to those classes to show off their accomplishments – and her bandelo was always the most pathetic because she didn’t care. One evening in winter, when the building was dark and spooky, the girls were given lessons on the reality of the devil, Satan. The teacher gave her own testimony of seeing Satan pick up and throw a student at Brigham Young University against a wall. When her mother picked her up that night, asked about the class, and was told about the Satan stories, she asked – for the first time – if her daughter wanted to continue attending, to which she said No. It was the last time she ever walked consciously into a Mormon church.
New Memoir Underway
Hi Readers. Sorry it’s been so long since I’ve posted. Thanks for returning to read.
Great news! I’m no longer a nomad living in my truck camper. I inherited enough money to buy myself a small hermit-home in the desert again. More about this later, but I’m very grateful, and life seems to be getting easier. I wonder if I’ve paid some debt and if I might be left alone in my old age.
For now, I want to share the start of my second memoir, updating my understanding of this mystery since I published my first memoir in 2008 (rattlesnakefire.com). It opens when I’m still living in my camper.
I hope you’ll give me your feedback.
~~
She imagines herself from behind, where shoppers are coming and going from the store, maybe seeing her in the dusk, maybe not, in her faded, wrinkled skirt, overshirt, sandals, hair bundled behind her head, as she grabs the camper’s handles and hoists herself up inside, then reaches back to pull the door shut behind her.
Inside, she straps the light thing around her neck, switches it on red, which allows her to sleep better than with typical blue-white LED light. That’s another good thing about this life, she tells herself: good sleep, usually in nature – though not tonight. Clean air, and moving with the seasons, she occasionally explains to others, lets her be outside all year long and get exercise.
She sits at her usual place, facing the door and a window, though she’s closed the blind now, no table before her, removed for ergonomics, just a little empty space there, nice when everything else is so crowded. She stares and thinks about the strange turns life has taken to bring her to this place.
Delusional notations had begun to appear in her medical charts – but not for any true reason. No, they only began after she wrote her memoir and told more truths people don’t want told.
She’d disappointed so many people who had such high hopes for her, then she’d turned against them. They deserved to be rebuffed, she was still certain.
She’d been trained for beauty and duty. She’d even been a beauty queen – against her will. She’d thought it mortifying to say, by entering the pageant, “I deserve to be here, because I’m beautiful.” Mortifying. Everyone else in her world said she was crazy, it was great to be beautiful, they said, and she didn’t know what she was talking about, they said. Nobody saw the world her way. And everyone kept at her. So she did it, and it was “the worst thing I ever did in my life,” she’d say for decades.
Fortunately, she was also intelligent and could take on almost any project and carry it out well or exceptionally well, so she won awards frequently and led an interesting and independent life, first as a journalist, then supporting progressive causes with media relations and organizing, then radical causes, where she stepped on some certain powerful people’s toes with her incisive words published around the world. She also worked for not-radical groups, like the United Way and local food coop.
She used to have homes of her own, homes in the city, one in the country on twenty acres with seven ancient oak trees along an intermittent creek. Her homes were usually funky, but still nice and some very nice. Now she only had this old truck and camper, and she’s accused of being delusional, by doctors who never asked her questions and one who never saw her.
Some of those people whose toes she’d bumped or seriously crushed threatened her explicitly, others with just a glare, but she never took them seriously. “They can’t do that” in a free, democratic society, she thought – despite the history she’d read of activists assassinated, even in the U.S. She just didn’t believe it could happen to her. Maybe rabble-rousers, she thought, but not mild-mannered, polite, well-spoken, well-dressed, former minister’s wife, President of the PTA her.
Sometimes she could be accused of rabble-rousing. Once she was caught on film at a protest and looped repeatedly on one TV channel for the news that night, jumping and punching her fist into the air, but mostly her rabble-rousing was through writing, shining a light where she thought attention needed to be. And so she continued to irritate leaders of corporations and others in power.
Then one week, everything in her life fell apart. It began naturally – with illness. Her 17-year old son was diagnosed with cancer, her health insurance company declared bankruptcy a few days later, her husband acted so cruelly she decided to finally leave him after years of talking about it, her children hated that she was making them move, and she found herself unable to stay conscious at work, waking up repeatedly, wondering when she’d laid her head down.
In one week, she lost her marriage, her job, her ability to work, and the illusion that her children would stay healthy and live, and that they would love her. All the fundamentals of her life were ripped away in a few days.
After leaving her husband, the radical environmental organization to which she’d sacrificed her career and devoted the last seven years was infiltrated by saboteurs who “bad jacketed” her – labeled her a spy – and convinced the movement to ostracize her, costing her also her community. She would soon have a nervous breakdown.
But that’s not how she ended up in her camper.
First, she’d build a hermitage in the desert (with credit cards) and intended to become a hermit, but would first move away and almost marry her high-school crush, a doctor, and become an award-winning real estate agent for a few years before returning to her hermitage – to complete her nervous breakdown.
Then she’d begin a shamanic initiation, experience what seemed to be alien abductions, and realize she’d been followed all her life and still was – as a mind control subject
of the US government.
And her mind control subjection as a child, she thought later, might have even enhanced her psychic skills, as she was left alone so much and under such stressful conditions, her mind couldn’t help but explore other dimensions.
But this was too much information to absorb. It came on her too fast. And it was not imagined. It was real.
She wrote everything down and photographed all evidence. She posited and tested her theories, and wished for other answers than what seemed obvious. She borrowed books from the library. And when she was finally terrorized into selling and leaving her lovely home beside the creek, feeling like a sitting duck for whomever was out there, messing with her, she began to attend conferences to suss out the researchers who presented themselves as having the answers.
Were they credible? Were there really mind control programs still in operation, still overseeing old women like her? Were the alien experiences real, or only made to feel real by the miracles of modern technology? Could someone hit her with a beam and make her think she was having these experiences? Even her governor back in the 80s had accused the FBI of aiming a beam at him to mess with his head. Maybe this stuff was real. Something had to explain the weird things going on. But she didn’t like the answers.
And it wasn’t just her. Others reported very similar experiences. Others saw and heard the UFOs that cruised near her home. And she photographed the burns and bruises and cuts that showed up on her body overnight. Once she woke with a scar on her neck that a medical practitioner asked about five years later: “When did you have your thyroid surgery?”
Yes, it seemed there were people very interested in her health, or she thought they were people. Was she supposed to consider maybe that they were aliens? She didn’t want to consider that possibility.
After fleeing her home, she met a world of people who already believed in stuff like this, both the alien and the government stuff. But even among these people, her life seemed to contain too much weirdness for one person. It was understandable to have alien contact; it was understandable to be a mind control subject; but no one (yet) had claimed to be both. She didn’t want to be the first.
She was exceedingly tired of keeping it all a secret, trying to protect herself from others’ judgement, even protecting others from scary stuff that might disrupt their reality.
Despite trying to ignore it, a few mornings every month, she woke with strange marks on her body. Were these medical tests or procedures? Injections by doctors who were secretly caring for her health? Or by doctors who’re using her as a guinea pig?
Eventually, she met a few shamans, and learned that aliens are commonly seen by them in other dimensions. One shaman had told her she needed to write her story and if she did, he’d write the Foreword. She knew Ralph Metzner had a reputation to consider, so she took his encouragement seriously.
He’d been the non-flamboyant academic and now shaman, after decades of making cultural history as the quiet third pioneer beside Tim Leary and Ram Dass, upsetting the world in their quest for consciousness, to which he’d devoted his life ever after. In his Foreword to her book, he called her a “spiritual warrior.”
She didn’t feel like a spiritual warrior that night, but she didn’t feel like a failure either. She felt suspended, ready, willing, able, but waiting for right conditions. Watching.
“Just perceive,” she’d heard recently.
Inoculated against what?
Reviewing my old videos, I found this one in which I described having something odd slip from my sinus that I thought – in 2012 – to be the residue of an inoculation (not an injection but another sort of inoculation, by simply planting the pathogen in the sinus).
An inoculation against what? Could they have been planning for Covid that many years ago? (Yes.) Or was this a Covid experiment? Or something else entirely?
I really don’t know, but think this is very interesting now that we’re in the midst of a pandemic. And I have not been sick with Covid, though I do believe I got a very mild case in March 2020.
What else might it have been?
I describe a slew of crazy stuff in 18 months, concluding with this event – at about 11 minutes.
Thanks for watching. Thanks for caring and educating yourself.
May we all be strengthened on this crazy journey.
Leaving a Secret Society Safely
Controllers can most easily control their young adult subjects inside fraternities and sororities.
I wanted to run from them, but a raft of forces pushed me in directions I’d never go myself.
Getting out safely required more skills than I had as a 19 year old.
Recorded in April 2020. Just listened again, and was mesmerized. And it’s my own story!
It’s rather long, and has slow spots, but they’re followed by insights and new directions.
Eyes Wide Open: 2020 Lockdown Edition : Fiona Barnett : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archive
So sorry to discover this in my Drafts folder for the last couple of years! Posting now….
This is the 3rd edition of Fiona Barnett’s autobiographical account of a global child trafficking / pedophile blackmail operation coordinated by the CIA (aka…
— Read on archive.org/details/eyeswideopen-2020-edition/mode/1up
History of “The Media” & the Trump “alternative”
In the 1940s, while the CIA was receiving hundreds of Nazi “scientists” into the US under cover of Operation Paperclip, our nation began experiments in mind control, the atom bomb, a Pledge of Allegiance, and a plan to control “The Media” – Operation Mockingbird.
Today, we hear right-wing critics properly denounce fake news, but few see the complexity or extent of it.
The mainstream media do omit stories most newsworthy, and do waste our time and misdirect our attention with stories calculated to help us interpret issues as would best serve corporate interests. I’ve known that since 1982, which is why I quit the News biz.
What I see now is that even seasoned reporters with impressive awards can have their stories shut down. And the major media and “alternative media” both refuse to cross certain lines.
https://www.wanttoknow.info/mediacorruption
I understand that. If their audiences have been raised on one worldview, they must proceed carefully in disclosing a larger worldview. But how long will they wait? Are they waiting for permission to proceed? Permission from whom? Who is controlling the ultimate unfolding?
I used to think it was We the People, back in my naive days (which is why I wanted to be a journalist, to help lead us all toward enlightenment, fearlessly discovering and sharing truth). But now I see there are powerful entities in charge of the planet, and They call the shots, and no one outside the highest echelons of the secret societies knows who They are.
Years ago, They realized freethinking radicals were closing in on them, naming Them. So They got to work. They invented a fake “alternative” to expose Their existence.
The Powers that Be became the Deep State. The evidence for Their existence was folded into a new story with misinformation and high emotion – and distributed by Their own and other’s “alternative news sources.” They analyzed the frustrations of the largest demographic they could most easily manipulate, crafted Their messages to tweak those frustrations, and encouraged a sense of community in an entirely new way – through social media. Then They tapped a TV reality show host, gave him a new script, and the rest is American history.
Yes, I believe the Trumpsters’ suspicions about the Deep State is based on reality.
But their faith in Trump, I believe, is totally misplaced. He’s the poison pill hidden inside the hopeful story that speaks to all their wounds, a story crafted just for them. And while they misdirect their time and energy toward this charlatan businessman, truly good responsible reporters are trying to work within the system to expose what’s going on. Not all of them, of course; many are toadies. But, like all the world, the truth is mixed with lies, and our job is to sort it out, not blindly accept an easy “alternative” that feels good.
The News corporations continue to control our news, yes.
But individual reporters still put their lives on the line to bring us the fights for justice going on all around the planet an in our small towns.
As a former (award-winning) radio journalist and later a professor of Composition & Rhetoric – and especially in this day of emotional verbosity passing for “news” – I wish everyone could understand what exactly comprises sufficient “support” for a news story.
Alas, we’ve been so poorly educated, we don’t know the difference between statement of fact and opinion. Often the most outrageous statements get the most attention.
These reporters exemplify excellent reporting, and they all suffered at the hands of their corporate employers. Their stories should be known.
https://www.wanttoknow.info/mediacorruption
(Consider signing up for the newsletter above.)
And shame on Trump for calling all reporters liars, mocking them, and even invoking violence against them. It’s the corporations who deserve our wrath.
New more complete book in progress!
Hi All,
I’m preparing to write a new memoir – more complete! (Brief outline below)
As you might know, I’ve been documenting my life for decades – though I burned everything at Y2K (because I thought I was whining too much) – so I now have 20 years of more carefully documented (less whiney) journals. From these I began, in 2015, extracting details I thought important to this documentation of my mind control.
In case I don’t get to finish publishing my conclusions, I’d like the world to have access to the data. So I’m preparing the database now for public consumption (as soon as I remove certain details that might hurt innocent people or expose me to lawsuits).
Meantime, for an interview host, I extracted and condensed the most salient items from the database and organized them into eras of my life, which I post below – with a promise to fill in the first few sections soon. (I skipped those because those eras had already been covered in previous interviews by the host, and I don’t want to delay posting this, just in case I get disabled again and don’t get back to this for while.)
Here it is, a brief look at the life of a mind control subject:
Lineage
Childhood in Merced – 1952-1961
Pre-teen/Teens – 1961-1970
College/Sorority – 1970-1971
1st marriage – 1971-1981
Wannabe Jesus hippy, mother, minister’s wife, children’s home parent, peace activist, wannabe back-to-lander
Single years – 1981-1983
Atheist, student Bachelor of Arts in Media, scholarships, single mother, award-winning journalist
2nd marriage – 1983-1993
PR firm (largest in state), neighborhood activist, PTA President, community relations consultant for non-profit/activist organizations, radical activist, arrested for civil disobedience, jailed, business recognitions, public speaking, member of boards, spiritual events, writing award, writer’s scholarship, offered $3-4M business, international publications, son with cancer, insurance company bankruptcy, divorce
Single year – 1993-1994
Move, with teens, realize I was sexually abused and amnesic, targeting, social sabotage, nervous breakdown, year one Master of Fine Arts in Creative Writing, return to spirituality, son dramatically healed, children on their own
Desert Hermit – 1994-1995
Realize I’m multiple personality, build strawbale hemitage, second year MFA, continued nervous breakdown/spiritual crisis, other-dimensional perceptions/shamanic initiation, Teacher’s Assistant, writing recognition, excellent referrals and professional sabotage
Mainstream – 1995-1999
Rekindled love from high school, move to Colorado, healing time, physical injuries, award-winning real estate agent, offered 6-figure salary, turned down
Desert Hermitage – 1999-2006
Strawbale home improvements, many shamanic perceptions, conference organizer, UFO sightings begin, Isis invitation, Judi Bari v FBI media relations, first electronic attacks, realized MK subject, terrified/suspicious, radical activist partner, artist, shamanic practice, Repitlians and Reptoids, first implant witnessed (in heart, by doctor), social sabotage, home sale sabotage
Gypsy Intentions – April-June 2006
UFO conference in Hawaii, swimming with dolphins, healing, drawn to MK dentist, drawn to MK town, ended gypsy plans
Small town – 2006-2011
Psy Op/professional sabotage, certified Transpersonal Hypnotherapist, altered states with five men, suspicious people at house, decade head/spine problems, Oil and Water Conference recognitions, write Rattlesnake Fire, other-dimensional beings/experiences, psy op re Owl’s Club, computer remote control, beams bruise and more, highway altered state, mysterious cuts and bruises, spontaneous healings, Taserings, house entered, alter reintegrations, injection bruises, implants, removals, and activations, performance psy op, broken/dislocated fingers, biopsy scoops, excessive sleep and lethargy, taunting: I’m “in” already/“resistance is futile,” psychic attachments
Small town with partner – 2011 – 2015
Weird invitation, basket with evil spirit, social sabotage, email/other threats/warnings, dreams of remote viewing and astral travel, phone anomalies, cat de/rematerialized, disturbing altered states, boyfriend giving instructions in my sleep, spiritual attacks, sexual control, shamanic healing, dreams of transportation hubs and people in cages, test subject for electronic communication, successful defense against spiritual attacks, strange drivers license in wallet, lots of amnesia, spontaneous healings, dental implant attempt, Permaculture business psy op, friend’s eyes all black x2, donut bruises, heart attack confirmed, electronic waking, lots missing time, discover alters, movies played in head, one UFO, eBay business sabotaged, injection bruises 2/week, Thanksgiving MK
Single again, small town – 2015-2016
demons, raped in night, attacks at UFO conferences, ECT, spontaneous healings, third-degree burn, electronic depression, someone in house at night, Dad’s CASU, weird phone events, cat notices weird sounds, all weirdness increases, move sabotage
Nomad 2016 – present
Sabotage and break-in of camper home, water, truck, rig;
Stalking by people, helicopters, drones, street theater; remote control of computer, phone, truck; implants/teeth, nose, ears, spine; iris vision, movies/head; remote control dog, Don’t Fuck with Cats trigger, altered states, immobilized, physical disability 10 dys/mo; Satanists/spell casters, demons, Satan, odd kill; social sabotage, MK’d to steal, urgency to be somewhere; amnesic events w broken finger, toe and burn; witness to possible child trafficking; delivery problems; microwave hit while driving on Interstate, mw to heart; Morgellon’s Disease,
sinus psy op, two holes in skin on spine, spinal surgery?, spontaneous healings, Yoohoo threat, camper damage mystery, physical disability, courier use?, msg: slaves for market.
~~
Thank you for caring about this crazy secret in our nation. You’re important to our future.
Insect egg sack in my ear?
What do you think? Is this an egg sack of some sort inside my highly inflamed ear canal?
it’s not wax, which is yellow and drippy (see below). This is white with apparent spherical shapes inside a gauzy cluster with gauzy strands apparently attaching it to the side wall.
Here’s another photo with wax (deep yellow, on right) for comparison:
I’ve been watching the condition of my ear canals for about 18 months, beginning in Spring 2019, when I received my first digital otoscope, which I ordered after the “microwave hit” (or other mysterious attack) on the highway that caused me immediate (thankfully temporary) dramatic changes to my mental state and my vision for perhaps five-ten seconds while driving, risking my ability to stay on the road. (The next morning, I found blood in my ear canals.)
When the right-sized otoscope finally arrived months later, I was surprised to see my ear drums were apparently busted, and I have amazing technology inside! (Many posts were made here and on YouTube in the spring of 2019 and the previous November-December 2018 after the highway mysterious “hit” event.)
Never in 18 months of looking inside my ears have I seen anything like the apparent egg sack. And my ears have never looked so red or felt so inflamed. (Never mind the crazy technology that’s still there!)
Perhaps the more odd aspect is that I saw this appparent egg sack two days ago and had a very weird reaction: nothing!
Yes, I saw it, I thought it looked like an egg sack, and I thought it might even be related to the odd phenomenon a year ago in September in which I went to the Emergency Room for weird experiences that seemed to indicate I had parasites in my sinuses (and I’ve continued to sense odd pressure now and then) – and at the Emergency Room, I was treated rudely and got nothing helpful, only a “delusional” diagnosis on my record. So it makes sense that I responded passively. And maybe mind control played a role in that too.
So, what will I do now? Go see a doctor? [Deleted obscenity] No.
Last night, two days after seeing the apparent egg sack, I thought I was falling asleep, but thankfully I suddenly heard some Helping prompt, sat up, and realized: I need to deal with this, and now! After all, insect eggs might hatch very quickly!
Silly me, my first impulse was to call my insurance company and ask where I could go in the morning – and got the information I asked for.
However, when I paused to imagine the hard work I’d undertake in the morning to break camp and drive my rig into town – and the likelihood I’d be treated disrespectfully as doctors have in recent years (as I publish my evidence) – I decided to avoid that.
First I tried to use a tiny tool attached to my otoscope to hopefully reach in and drag it out myself. But it was too short to reach that far without pain and with a blocked view of what I was doing. So I quit that effort.
I wondered again whether emergency rooms would have tools better than mine, a doctor with the skill to use it – and the integrity to want to help and not hurt me – and decided the chance was slim, not worth my effort.
Next I tried Q-tips – but as much as they warn us not to push them in so far that we’ll hurt our eardrum – I could not push them in far enough to even affect the shape of the sack, much less remove it.
Finally, I used an eyedropper to squirt hydrogen peroxide into my ear. I figured it might also quell the infection making my ear canal so red – something I’ve never had in my life that I’m aware of. Mainly I hoped it might kill anything that hatched from those apparent eggs.
The egg sack then seemed slightly changed in shape, some of it dragged away from the rest, and I felt I’d done all I was able to do that night.
This morning, I post these photos and this account for the purpose I always post: to share my experiences, my actions, my concerns, my doubts, my efforts in real time.
God forbid anything comes of this. Perhaps this sort of thing is not that uncommon, and our bodies’ immune systems simply deal with it.
In the event this does evolve into something of concern, I hope to remain able to deal with it.
Anyone know a trustworthy doctor, let me know. [Doctors now uniformly treat me with hostility. Even Naturopaths (I saw five last year!) seem afraid to help, and one actually said, “This stuff scares me (referring to my Morgellons). I’m referring you to….” and she wrote me a referral to someone out of state – then walked me to the front door and wished me well.]
I think we’re on our own here. So I’m intending to manage my own health for the rest of my life.
I’ll also accept advice on dealing with this.
Video Interviews
Hi All,
I recently began doing interviews again.
On The Cosmic Switchboard, James Bartley and I overview my life in 2 hours. (We plan another conversation soon.)
On RevolutionRadio/AquarianRadio, I have two interviews with Janet Lessin, another mind control subject, and her husband Dr. Sasha Lessin, a psychotherapist. As you’d expect, these interviews are more psychologically focused.
In the first, we spend two hours covering the strange events of my childhood and early adulthood: being ritually tortured, seeing inter-dimensional beings, experiencing strange events with Mormons, military, and individuals in high levels of government, being manipulated into a sorority and into sexually-themed roles in theater. (See a full discussion list below.)
In our second interview, we continue with two marriages to “handlers,” a “nervous breakdown”/spiritual crisis, decision to be a hermit, and introduction to the world of spirit and shamanism – which includes animal spirit encounters, gray aliens, reptilians, reptoids, and more. (See a full discussion list below.)
Our third interview will be next Saturday, November 8, at 5 pm PT, which you can listen to live on Aquarian Radio or YouTube/Aquarian Radio.
Hang in there, Everyone. While you’ve witnessed me in despair and other weak states over the years, I’m hanging in here, continually seeking meaning, continually seeking connection with extra-dimensional help, feeling stronger, and praying that my contributions to our understanding of this strange multidimensional world will also help you find understanding, Help, and eventually soul growth.
Lessin/AquarianRadio Part I:
0:00:00. Intro
0:02:55 Welcome, Dwight Eisenhower, suspected ancient secret society
0:05:30 Secret Societies: Masons, Military/CASU 33, Hollywood, Grandmother/probable early mind control subject
0:09:48 Birthday 7s and moons
0:12:50 UC Davis & Human Ecology Project
0:17:35 Multiple personality “alters” and triggering
0:21:40 Flashback to ritual with sexual torture
0:22:00 Left alone, never learned to play, Asperger’s Spectrum
0:23:40 Couriers, spies, martial arts, assassin, suicidal notions
0:31:30 Portals to other dimensions
0:35:00 2 years mind control programming intensive, age 6-8
0:38:20 Mormon advice to father
0:39:15 Flashback: “She’s getting old enough to remember”
0:39:50 MK still going on
0:40:20 Fear of Mormons, altered state experiences, ghosts, shadow being
0:42:15 Baton-twirling contest, terror on stage
0:43:00 Sexual performance nightmares
0:43:47 Ghosts v ETs
0:45:25 Sexual psy op, age 13
0:50:20 MK to develop sexual slaves for blackmail. “Crazy conspiracy theory”
0:55:10 Theater roles all sexual: stripper, prostitute, sexual spy
0:56:00 Break
1:01:15 Intro
1:02:14 Dr. Sasha Lessin
1:03:06 Theater, sorority life, beauty pageants, prostitute role
1:20:25 How got strong
1:20:50 Last sexual role: sexual spy; joining and deactivating sorority
1:23:00 Initiation ceremony
1:25:00 Who’s orchestrating this?
1:26:34 Frightening hitchhiking event, marriage
1:32:20 Became mother, depressed, abused, hippie church, minister’s wife, houseparent, kids stolen
1:42:00 Student of radio and television, met second husband/handler, MK meeting
1:44:08 Handler definition and how it works
1:45:00 Constantly dealing with weirdness throughout life
1:47:09 Next show: Marriage manipulations, friends in prison and car-bombed, son with cancer, nervous breakdown, went from award-winning journalist and successful consultant to mess, husband angry at MK cartoon
1:55:00 JeanEisenhower.com, ParadigmSalon.net, RattlesnakeFire.com, YouTube.com/ParadigmSalonVideo.
Lessin/AquarianRadio Part II:
00:00 Intro
02:43 Jean Eisenhower resumes life history: marriage to handler
04:33 targeted after 2nd divorce, son’s cancer
07:50 University of Arizona – Master of Fine Arts, Creative Writing Non-Fiction – healing begins
10:00 First Shamanic experience of Wolf
12:50 Discover my multiple-ness in Mind Control, dissociation in trauma (“into the wallpaper”)
15:15 “Put trauma idea into box and into closet”
16:55 Move to my hermitage
19:10 Struggle with rational vs mystical
21:00 Star shamanism – Daughter of Isis, rationality, archetype, history of ancient Egypt
28:30 UFO on highway outside Bisbee, AZ
34:10 first draft of Rattlesnake Fire, MFA thesis
35:15 Next relationship – healing; real estate success
37:30 Inner assassin comes to fore
41:50 Colorado Springs with 5 military bases; healing relationship
46:00 Back to hermitage, Cochise County, straw bale home
48:50 experience re Pleiades – Am I from there??
52:50 stuck in dualism, childhood charges of crazy for childhood “imaginary friend”/angel
56:00 break
1:03:45 burn all journals re 2nd marriage, begin science journals Jan 1, 2000, all into database w 1200 data lines
1:06:45 Did they want me to be a hermit? (Maybe) I’m Asperger’s, so being in nature is more comfortable than being social
1:08:30 Alien encounters, lost community, “bad Jacketed,” FBI history
1:15:00 thyroid surgery scar on neck
1:16:54 tones from sky
1:17:47 UFOs swarming like fireflies (over White Sands?) with witnesses
1:19:40 Reptilian sex
1:21:30 military Reptilian in my teepee; connections to Ft. Huachuca; 2 friends’ stories confirm; question of Reptilian relationship
1:29:30 Theory of Reptilians vs Reptoids; Reptoid looking through my left eye (“Hulk routine”), then projected image in front of me; Reptoid child hovering in space
1:35:00 Why I’m not allowed to know – theory
1:36:40 My purpose – theory
1:38:00 Janet Lessin – shape-shifting story
1:43:50 Jumping ahead: Altered state w orange alien delivering message of humans not surviving; Sumerian, Genesis warning; thought MK
1:48:40 Highway stop, vaginal implant, laceration, professional photograpic proof
1:55:30: Closing. JeanEisenhower.com, RattlesnakeFire.com, ParadigmSalon.net.
Thanks for being there, Everyone ~
Jean
Healings – and 4 Interviews now online
Hi Friends,
Last weekend, I was blessed to attend a gathering where I met people I trusted to tell my story – in a super-succinct manner I’ve never used before:
My ancestry is military, Masons, Mormons, and Hollywood; I was born into MKULTRA. I believe I have spiritual Help and spiritual responsibility, and I need healing and help to fulfill it.
Individuals responded, melted the frozen places in my heart, and helped me shake off the mind control that told me regularly I was powerless, totally trapped, and my death would be the only way out.
Ever since I wrote my book, began these blogs, and produced my first video, I’ve been severely attacked, psychically, spiritually, socially, electronically, financially, and even with a remote controlled crash on the highway.
I have also been regularly healed and blessed in various ways. I’ve had beams of healing energy pour through me, expanding shrunken cells and reviving weak energy flows. I’ve been unable to lift a water glass right beside me, then a few seconds after the healing beam, was so energized, I immediately went outside to move heavy items in the garden!
Many days I’ve struggled to keep the basics of life together, and often haven’t felt able to keep up with blogging, yet I’ve kept steady with a good diet, good sleep, meditation and prayer, and trusted I’d one day reclaim my energy and do whatever it is I’m supposed to do in this life that seems sometimes so crazy.
This week has seen the largest fractures in my mind control, the greatest gaps of light shining through after too many years. The story feels too personal to share immediately, and maybe is not even understood completely yet, So I’ll keep it to myself for now.
However, I’d like to share with you some radio and video I’ve done lately and will do soon.
In July, James Bartley (whom I met over a decade ago), now of The Cosmic Switchboard, interviewed me for two hours as I sat in the forest on the Mogollon Rim, as relaxed and at peace as I ever am. Here’s the link to the first hour:
You can also watch it on YouTube:
The second hour can be accessed on James’ site by simply giving your email address – which James does not sell or use to send you stuff. Just an email address and you have access to the second hour in which we discussed Reptilians in mind control.
And I’ve also been interviewed by Janet Kira Lessin, of Revolution Radio and Aquarian Radio. Janet is a mind control subject as well as a counselor. Her husband, Dr. Sasha Lessin is a psychologist. Together, they co-hosted a unique show in that they focused on the psychological elements of my story.
Janet and Sasha were so willing to delve into details – and offer insights I didn’t have – that we thoroughly covered the first 19 years of my life in our two-hour first interview! We plan to continue these interviews until we’ve covered my entire life.
Here’s the link to this two hours:
Chiropractic Psy Op
Ever go to bed at night feeling perfectly fine, then wake up with your spine maladjusted, your occiput crushed over your C-1, or a rib out?
I used to, when I lived in a small town where doctors ruled the mind control game.
For years I thought I was having an unusual string of back problems – strange because I’ve always been strong, agile, a dancer, involved in lots of daily physical exercise and have tried to practice good posture and proper bending and lifting – and have never had back problems.
I would have understood if these events had been associated with heavy lifting in the garden or something, but there was no relation. I went to bed fine, and woke up with serious problems.
After I woke with the rib out, it occurred to me that my controllers might intentionally do this to me, but I didn’t want to think much about it, and I didn’t.
Then, my last week in town, with my usual chiropractors on vacation or ill, I went to a doctor I’d never seen before. He and his staff treated me oddly, and I couldn’t figure out what it was.
Then the doctor began telling me a very long-winded story, and I felt myself tiring, and soon he was hypnotizing me! I came out of it when his hand touched my pubic bone, and I saw his face in shocked surprise that I was alert and reacting to his inappropriate touch.
I was more than disoriented. I was probably still mind controlled, though in a glitchy way because I could speak and react. He got panicky, and I justified going through with the appointment as a means of embarrassing no one, but that was just my “rational” cover for going along with the control while knowing it.
Later I reported him to the Attorney General’s office and was referred to the Board of Chiropractic, who responded to me that they’d done an internal investigation, dismissed my report, would not issue any findings, and there was no further opportunity for input. (So much for professional boards holding up any standards or even having an honest process.)
When I left that town, my back problems ended! Entirely.
This convinced me my “crazy theory” – I’d never spoken about to anyone, never written about, and not even acknowledged to myself clearly enough that I could act on the information – was true. Someone was intentionally doing this to me.
After four years, I finally wrote about it last month. Then, my controllers had to prove me wrong. So I woke up the first full day of a conference recently – something I rarely treat myself to now, and only when the opportunity feels very important to me – in terrible pain.
Earlier this year, I’d taken a few selfies in the forest. I show them for comparison to the photo taken of me at the conference – where I’m trying way too hard to smile.
My pain after I woke with my spine messed up is evident, and it’s a wonder that I made any good connections with anyone. In the final photo, days later, I’m coming back to myself, healing in the forest. But I wish I’d been able to be feeling my best when around those wonderful people.
It’s been three weeks now since the maladjustment was done, and I’ve had two bodywork sessions, and I’m barely functioning normally, and I still hurt.
…the life of a mind control subject.
“Human rights” is a lie. “Democracy” is a lie.
But maybe we have a chance anyway. I’m working on it. And I hope to share some with you soon.
My Take on the Ancient Gods and Jesus
A few times lately,
I’ve dropped the name Jesus into a blog or vlog,
and I thought I should explain what I mean.
(I didn’t mean to write a prose poem, but just to arrange the words for easy reading.)
I find value in all the world’s ancient texts,
and I take them all with a grain of salt,
even the Bible (sorry Christian friends and family).
The harmony between all these texts is remarkable
(for all humankind’s arguing over their differences).
One basic truth they all tell us is
that Others came from elsewhere and created us here.
Those Others came again and again
to teach, chastise, give gifts, encourage, warn, destroy,
and change our genetics, and they’re coming back.
That’s what all the holy books say.
The United States of America is the First
to convince their citizens not to talk about this,
and not believe it, to laugh at it,
and certainly not use it to explain any “mysteries.”
Archeology, geology, history, and religion
are all full of mysteries
which cease to be serious mysteries if
the ancient texts are true.
American politics is full of mystery. Why,
people strike their heads
and exclaim all the time,
“I can’t believe Congress [or the President] did that!”
But if Other beings are involved in our lives
like ALL the ancient texts say,
as people have believed and recorded for millennia,
They explain the mysteries, easily.
Are They playing evil roles? Or saving us?
Teaching us again? Or just watching?
Depends on which you’re referring to.
And maybe on what you believe.
One disturbing variation on this story is that
the Others put their royal lineages in power,
the Secret Societies in charge of us,
who tell us the Others don’t exist.
Stealing this information is stealing power.
And we’re left dumb, dumb, dumb.
Laughing at ancient history, calling it myth,
and wondering why the world makes no sense.
It makes sense if you have all the pieces of the puzzle.
To get them, you must stop laughing.
But then you only have a picture, not a plan.
(That’s when your work begins.)
The Others are many, our friends and our foes,
like Gramma called it, a War in the Heavens.
Lots of players, I’ve heard, “highly populated cosmos,”
with history that would blow our minds.
And among them, who is Jesus? Quetzalcoatl?
Kokopeli? Mohammed? Krishna? Buddha?
You tell me.
Who is Jehovah? (Well, this is where I get in trouble.)
Genesis reads like a summary
of the Sumerian tales of creation,
conflating an entire crew of Annunaki into one being
named Jehovah, or more correctly Elohim (a plural).
This Other, this god, who called himself God,
was arrogant, abusive, warlike, cruel,
basically a cosmic human developer, slaver and industrialist,
raping the Earth for her gold while developing slaves.
Jesus, on the other hand,
taught us how to treat each other
and promised to return at the “Harvest”
and get those who got it.
Is that where we are now in history?
I don’t know, but I hope. (I’m tired of all I’ve seen!)
Some say Jesus is a tulpa, a being of our creation.
Maybe he’s more, maybe he’s less, but I like his teachings.
Some say Jesus was a shaman,
saying we’ll do miracles too.
But I don’t believe Jesus is the son of Jehovah,
unless he’s overthrowing the family operation.
When I say Jesus now, you won’t mistake me
for a Bible-thumper or a follower of Jehovah.
I follow the Prince of Peace, the Teacher of Righteousness,
and I hope Jehovah isn’t someone I misunderstood!
I could be wrong, but Earth histories seem coherent
with even the strangest Others I’ve experienced.
Everyone else, refusing to see, laughs, then whines,
“But it makes no sense!”
“There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio,
than are dreamt of in your philosophy,” said William Shakespeare.
There ARE more things in Heaven than we acknowledge.
And with them, the world makes sense.
Does this make sense to you?
Context for my “You hoo” story
Before you jump to the conclusion that I’m simply paranoid, having read my earlier post, please check out my super-succinct list here – of some of the stuff I’ve documented over these years – physical injuries, electronic weirdness, and the “Satanic” stuff that I generally don’t name, so I don’t know why I did this time.
Injuries I’ve suffered while amnesic or mysteriously:
– nighttime burn on back of neck (photographed)
– electronic bruising beam 2 1/4″ diameter (witnessed by nurse, photographed two weeks later)
– donut bruises (4, photographed)
– Taser burns (3, photographed)
– lacerations in vagina (3, one photographed)
– apparent surgery on thyroid (scar noted by nurse practitioner)
– back surgery, plates on vertebrae (x-rays not in my possession but seen by me)
– unknown holes appearing on spine (2 or more, photographed)
– bacterial and fungal diseases (Morgellon’s) intentionally inoculated into me (disease extensively photographed, event caused 75 minutes amnesia, disability, documented on Thanksgiving day 2014)
– biopsy scoop marks (photographed)
– implants
– on scapula (two, activating constantly, one shown to doctor, tunnel left when one was removed),
– near heart (music in stethoscope reported by terrified Naturopath),
– in g-spot, creating scar tissue or other pain, lasting 18 months; activated once years later; puncture photographed)
– alongside clitoral shaft (documented in journal),
– in ears (2 or more, photographed),
– in teeth, (7, photographed),
– up nostril (2, one photographed),
– left foot near ankle (scar visible, presumed used in first account below)
Electronic events I’ve experienced:
– 4” diameter round vibrating spot turned on my ankle, moving up lower leg about 1” per second, about 6”; after moving, turned on foot again, moving upward again few inches; after moving to bed, approximately 12” round vibrating spot turned on my head, making me unconscious. The next morning, my ears were ringing and always have since, though sometimes to lesser degree.
– many times felt disabled for days, then felt woken up with huge relief that a switch had been flipped – at 10 pm – waking me when exhausted by the shock of normalcy.
– hear a tone, wake on some hour, can’t sleep, sit up to read, hear a tone, notice the time on the hour, fall asleep sitting up.
– black and white movies play short clips in my head, which I ignore, resisting entrainment; once, movie played double speed, once two movies played on top of each other.
– on highway Volkswagen lights go out, I sit immobilized, unable to move even though I want to walk to the gas station, unable to even turn in my seat, estimated 30 minutes, wake out of trance one hour and fifteen minutes later with amnesia. Next day, blood clot blown out of nose, implant discovered in g-spot.
– Painfully loud sound in ears sent me running (under command?) for a relaxation recording, which had disappeared, leaving only a recording I’d been afraid to use, but I used it and experienced oddities and an hour and a half of missing time.
– Chords that wake me or put me to sleep
– Fugue states with feelings of intensity, then unable to remember what I experienced, once immobilized on my step with one foot stretched out for ten minutes (estimate); many fugue states while just sitting
– Sudden need to do something within a few minutes or seconds as if under command, my body responds even when my mind isn’t convinced, once almost falling out the door as I “had to” get out immediately as a helicopter flew low overhead; three times “needing” to get in bed with my pillow, spine, and covers all arranged by a particular time on the hour or half-hour, rushing to accomplish it
Satanic seeming stuff:
– Gloria’s incantation during supposedly “therapeutic” hypnosis, her lying about the time, my discovering her lie on my recording (she didn’t know I was making, which horrified her when I told her), “wrapping me up, every finger and toe,” and my lungs and heart, was disabled for weeks afterward (March 2017)
– Camp group with Masonic emblem, disability for two days after Full Moon (April 2017)
– Other days of disability after Full Moon or New Moon, with amnesia (in journal)
– Hippy Community with Satanic newcomers, extensive disability, painful to walk, weird trance state on Full Moon, dread, left, circled by others, howling crowd in distance later (June 2018)
– New Moon sabotage of my truck, involving computer, seven weeks before its one-year anniversary, with “Yoo hoo” signaling (August 2017)
– New Moon events visiting two people I didn’t want to see, but feeling compelled, leaving impulsively, horrible feelings with both, horrible damage to my rig, mysterious electronic door lock problem between two visits, wonder: truck sabotage by computer a signal for what’s to come?, woman calls “Yoo hoo” (recalling the other woman), realize it’s 7 weeks from the one-year anniversary (April 2020)
…And this is just what I remembered in a few minutes. I’ll expand this, I hope, using my database summarizing my journals.
I’ve chosen not to act emotionally about this, though I once did. Instead I just keep gathering data, and drawing conclusions when I must. And I keep writing.
Thanks for reading.
“Yoo hoo!” – Satanists threatening my Life?
“Yoo hoo! Yoo hoo!” shouldn’t be threatening, but check out this chart, and if you want, read the story below.
Three and a half years ago, seven weeks before (I believe) my truck was remote controlled to crash on the highway, it was the Solar Eclipse / New Moon, when a strange woman interrupted my meditations, hollering up the mountain to me, “Yoo hoo! Yoo hoo!”
I ignored her until I saw a man carry heavy equipment toward my truck and disappear behind a bush next to it where I couldn’t see him.
I yelled at him, “Get away from my truck!” at which point the woman began calling out that they were going to town and wanted to know if I needed anything. I repeated my demand, but it accomplished nothing. I thought of running down there, and could have easily, but oddly (except for a mind control subject), I felt immobilized and afraid to confront them more closely.
Six weeks later, my truck and trailer made an “impossible” fish-tail movement on flat highway, then made the same impossible movement again the next time I took the rig out one week later (week seven), and I made a mental note to take it to repair- even though everything had just been checked and maintenanced
Half an hour later, it made the same movement, this time down a hill. I’d experienced mild fish-tailing a couple times on steep hills and knew how to easily pull out of them, but this was not a serious hill and none of the conditions should have caused that.
Quickly, my truck and trailer were overwhelmed by extreme fish-tailing which flipped them, destroying them both, leaving me with a concussion, severe whiplash, homeless, with all my possessions in a mess. It was one year (minus one day) since I’d purchased my rig.
When I awoke in my truck, hanging sideways in the restraint, a trucker came to help, and later another trucker came. Oddly, they both used exactly the same language with me, and I assumed they’d both attended the same class on how to respond to highway accidents.
However, I also watched them both “interfere” with the crash scene, spraying fire retardant under my truck, which it didn’t need, while “checking” the wheels and axles. I now think was a cover for removing the remote device that flipped my rig. They’d also parked their trucks so that no one could drive by them and see my rig. (Later, I came to wonder if one of the truckers had also directed my crash by remote control.)
Recovery (physical, mental and financial) has been slow, and I don’t think about the event much, but today I am because of the “Yoo hoo” woman who visited yesterday.
I’d never realized I’d crashed just a day away from my rig’s one-year anniversary until last night. But I had been aware of the seven-week span between the “Yoo hoo” woman and strange man at my truck and the truck-and-trailer’s crashing.
And now, the “Yoo hoo” woman yesterday made me realize I just passed the seven-week mark before my one-year anniversary of purchasing my current rig. Should I be counting down the next seven weeks until their next harassment?
As I’ve taken care of the annual maintenance this spring, I couldn’t help but wonder now and then whether my Targeters were planning on taking my home away from me again, now that I’ve perfectly maintained it. But I brushed the idea aside – until the “Yoo hoo” woman visited.
To add to the freakishness of this whole thing, she mentioned her son living in Hawaii (I have a son who lives there), and she was wearing her hair exactly like mine at the moment – in a ponytail with an extra band at the bottom! Makes me accept they have cameras to watch us TI’s in our rigs.
Sitting down with paper and pen, I charted out the details roiling in my brain and found all these New Moons and sevens and anniversaries are not random, but perfectly orderly. And so I created the chart above.
I hate to admit I believe I’ve been harassed by Satanists a fair amount all my life. I was born under a Full Moon, not just in the 24-hour period, but within 8 minutes of perfection (2/1000ths of a degree). I was also born on 7-7-52 – which adds up, of course, to 7-7-7, which I’m told Satanists love, along with the fact that my birth date was Monday (Moon day), in the middle of Moon Child, as well as the Full Moon.
My mother’s church that I attended as a child was supposedly respectable, but I believe many churches have Satanic infiltrators. And these last few years on the road, I’ve found myself occasionally traumatically disabled for extended periods of time, and I realize a day or two later it had begun on the Full or New Moon when I’d met unpleasant strangers – with Satanic iconography I’d ignored!
Since I’ve been a nomad, the weirdness has had lots of variety, as I assume my peripatetic wanderings cause the Targeters to have to act on the fly and use whatever secret network is available on short notice, and so I experience a little less harassment, of a varied sort, but including “games” by Satanists.
My new rig’s anniversary will be June 7 this year. Seven weeks from the events of frozen truck door locks to the “Yoo hoo” woman (April 21-25) will be June 2-6, and the Full Moon will be June 5th. So I’ll be on guard from June 2-7.
I’m posting this in hopes it’ll blow Their cover, expose their Satanic games-playing and save my life (and rig).
If anything should happen to me six or seven weeks from now, especially if it involves my truck and camper, I hope everyone will recognize a crime has been committed.
You can bet I will be parked and go NOWHERE that week. And I’ll be praying for protection, and welcome you to pray along with me and for me. (Put it in your calendars!?) Thanks.
I believe these are spiritual warfare lessons I’ve been failing, and I pray to learn my lesson now and keep myself safe.
Crazy times we live in…. Reminds me:
“And demons will be let loose on the Earth in those days.”
#
Morgellon’s, Fungus, and Cancer
Research has led me to one site that links Morgellon’s to, not only strange, colorful fibers, but also a fungus-like growth called “biofilm,” with plastic properties, which covers the skin. It is extremely strong, does not look like skin, and I cannot remove it.
One writer called it part of a “cyborgian” evolution the Controllers of the Planet are technologically enforcing on us, with some of their former subjects now being used as first test subjects for this. Crazy, huh?
I was trying to remove the film with dermabrasives, enzymes, baking soda, and vinegar; nothing works. It’s like I have plastic all over me.
Biofilm? – covers my face and seems to be beginning to “shine” all over me, reflecting light when photographing, as if my skin were plastic).
It doesn’t show to the naked eye, and seems to be a matrix for other things growing through it.
Fungus on the skin leads to cancer – according to another author – and some of cancer images I found online look like some of the thousands of weird things I’ve photographed on me, like these little red raspberries, which the site identified as a “fast-growing” cancer, and which I’ve photographed about six times on my scalp. Hmmmm. [A glitch in cyborg design to kill their product?]
I’ve spent lots of money on supplements and herbs and organized it all into a daily routine. I’ve always kept sugar to a tiny fraction of the standard American diet, but – it’s weird – I’ve been craving it. I recall I’d read long ago that microorganisms can actually convince our brains that we need something like sugar, and so I’ve been struggling with that – so yesterday I emptied most of the sugar out of the camper and gave it away.
I’m scrubbing (as much as I have energy for) and sunning (when the weather’s good and I’m feeling well), and praying (when I “can”), but I am not certain I’m getting better.
I can’t get help from the medical establishment because doctors don’t want to talk about this “controversial” disease. Why? Well, history says doctors have often been involved in top-secret experiments, and they certainly act like it now.
Each one who learns I have a digital microscope and can record my photos and watch my progress has seemed a little perturbed, as if now they know they can’t bullshit me in the usual way. No one yet, MD or ND, has acted normal, except for the one who honestly said, “This stuff scares me. I need to refer you out.” So.
Yesterday the News announced that hospitals across the nation are now short-staffed and their space overwhelmed, and so all other medical care will be compromised – and for example they mentioned people with chronic diseases – like cancer.
Is this whole thing designed to execute Kissinger’s prophetic statement about our world needing a 95% die-off?
So they invented something to mostly kill the old and infirm. Strategically, that would make sense and be a good start. Better than war. Plague.
I’m over sixty, so Kissinger would have me die. No doctor will give me a blood test to begin any internal treatment. So, I’m wondering if I’m supposed to go soon.
I’m in the pristine, pure desert though! Only have to spend a couple hours in town, one trip each week, to empty my tanks, shower, get water, buy groceries, maybe visit the library, then back to the desert to relax and watch the birds.
And scrub, prepare good food, take my medicines, rub stuff on me, enjoy camp mates from a distance, enjoy solitude, and wonder if I’m really supposed to try to heal this biofilm and fibers and spirochetes.
(So daunting! They’re elated to syphilis! – shades of the syphilis experiment they did for a decade on the Black men of Tuskeegee – the experiment for which the government was shamed into finally admitting and paying settlements. At it again, this time with activists.)
And keep on trying to heal myself as a mind control subject too? Sheesh.
Or (that was just one alter talking) heal myself through prayer? Ask Jesus to heal me? (I have been.)
Maybe this is when I’ll be pushed to such absolute lows that I’ll trigger some strength or knowing and transform myself into something new, spiritual, and healed – ?
Seems like a pretty big order for an old lady, which I’m really beginning to feel these days, grunting and huffing sometimes just to move around.
Feels like, if Kissinger wants 95% to die, I can’t think of much of a reason to say it shouldn’t be me. Ya know?
But I’ll definitely ask that friends and family keep me out of the hospitals! Away from doctors! But let my friends with healing talents come sit with me, help me deal with pain.
The deadly part of this disease is the spirochetes. (That’s why I’ve been so focused on getting a blood test.) They invade the brain, nervous system, and heart. I hope the heart is attacked first.
But if it’s my brain, we’ll have other issues, and I pray for everyone’s kindness, and again to be kept away from doctors or anyone who could be pretending to help but really be another targeter.
That’s why, for awhile, I was thinking the coronavirus might be a faster way to go. But I’m not chasing it – and I no longer believe it’s actually a virus causing the problem. And I don’t believe I’ll live or die according to what I do; I believe my controllers will decide.
Further, I am not philosophically persuaded that I understand everything in this multi-dimensional world well enough to make that sort of radical decision, to die or not. When my angels or family and friends over there make themselves known to me and call me over, then maybe.
Till then, I’ll sit in the beautiful desert or forest, greet the trees and flowers and birds each day, and move when the weather persuades me.
My YouTube channel has videos of my Morgellon’s at:
Photos of fungus in Morgellon’s Disease
I’ve been documenting the weird protrusions from my skin for about a year now, and some of the items that people want to call hairs, just aren’t.
Some appear to be fungus, others appear to be bacteria. This one with knobby joints along its length has long fascinated me. Some of the tips have a fine, crystalline point; others seem brush-like. And they often have a swollen base, though this one doesn’t.
The diagram below can be found on a few Morgellon’s websites. I’ve recognized none of the organisms below – though the largest one has features I’ve noted all year long: the knobby stem and the “brush-like” tip. 
The large body at the other end is probably what’s under the skin, causing the bulges at the base of each and the inflamed spots all over, as in the next photo of mine, not as highly magnified. 
Under magnification, the “hairs”/stems are knobby and the tips are either brush-like or have fine, crystalline points.
I believe these are fungus, and I’ve begun an anti-fungal diet, which I’ll post about next.
Of course, fungus is only one part of this disease. (What’s the little orange blob on the left in the photo above? I have a whole collection of weird blob photos I’ll post soon.)
There are also the spirochetes to deal with (sorry about the high drama in this artwork) – which can enter the brain, nervous system, and heart – which I’m concerned has already happened, judging by my sometimes-foggy brain, trembling fingers, and ongoing ulcers breaking out – though my ulcers are tiny compared to this picture.
(People without microscopes can’t see what I see, so they let their symptoms go longer until it gets this bad. I’m so sorry! If you’re concerned, get yourself a digital microscope online!)
And finally, the weird fibers, which many people believe are nanotechnology – and I have enough experience to have personal evidence that I believe it may indeed be true. I’ll post about that later.
(Sure am wishing doctors in America weren’t in on the targeting so I could get a blood test instead of being given a delusional parasitosis diagnosis, sadly.
Look at this pink fungal fruiting body! On my scalp.
Peace.
Simple Cure! – for part of Morgellon’s
Last night I woke at 1 am and since I couldn’t sleep, I sat up and asked my Spirit Help what they might want me to hear, as They often wake me at night for things like that.
Morgellon’s was a spiritual battle, they said – like everything else. Yes, I’m supposed to keep my diet clean and sugar-minimized, and keep sleeping well, and getting sun, but I’m also supposed to be talking with the spiritual beings around me who can also deal with the fungal beings in my skin – on this realm and others.
On this realm, I was also encouraged that simple products could help change the ecosystem of my skin even more than essential oils. Online this morning, I read that using vinegar to create an acid environment could diminish the fungal aspect of Morgellon’s. And so I’m beginning….
…That was a week or more ago and that’s as far as I got. I never put on vinegar after the first day! What’s wrong? Mind control? Sheesh.
Okay. I don’t need to be as gloomy as I was last post.
Going for the vinegar now.
Daily Check: What do Do?
I was going to share some of the jokes I find myself telling on good days, about becoming part mushroom (which I read later Joni Mitchell has also said about her Morgellon’s) after I saw what appear to be “fruiting bodies” growing out of my chin after only 24 hours without scrubbing and ointments. And maybe I’d share about this balance of living with a whole host of parasites preparing me to see other realities.
Instead, I picked up my digital microscope to check my skin which I’m too tired to scrub.
First I went looking for the two holes I found yesterday in my upper left arm with a handheld 10x lens but hadn’t taken the time to look at with the better, save-able digital microscope until today. They’d looked like very fine hypodermic holes, and finding them on the day of a Full Moon when I felt tired is not typically a surprise; maybe that’s why I just couldn’t pick up the microscope that day – subconsciously too depressed from something done to me in the night. Today, they seem to have neatly closed and I can’t find them. Fine.
Nearby, I found a larger, but still tiny red spot that bled when I ran my fingernail over it, but showed no blood under the microscope. I don’t have any idea what this is. But there is a “cup fungus” (I found online) that lives in skin and produces blood-red, oddly shaped cups – similar to what I find all over me.
Next I looked at my chin and found this fruiting body reaching out, catching the LED light in its translucent outer layer, with other, “common” anomalies which might be part of the natural human skin ecosystem, but I don’t know, as doctors seem loathe to discuss it.
On my left cheek, I found more “common” (to me now) weirdness, with another fungal fruiting body (I assume, and am open to correction) with its dark tip alongside this strange item which I think is a typical tangle of Morgellon’s fibers. I’ve had lots of single filaments, but not that many wads of them.
focus on the fungal fruiting body with dark tip
focus on the suspected small tangle of fibers
I want to scrub my face, my ears, my back, my chest, my arms, my hands, my fingers, my legs, my toes, but it all takes so much energy. Two weeks ago, I paid for my last shower and decided to take all future ones in my camper, not because of the money ($6-20), though that helps, but because I felt under pressure to get it all done within a reasonable period of time, but I lost energy and always did a varying quality job. By bathing in my rig, even though I’ll use more water and propane and have to go into town more often, I can bathe a little of me at a time. I might do my face and genitals in the morning (though I didn’t today, kept putting it off), then neck and arms mid-morning, then torso after lunch, then legs in afternoon, and face and genitals again at night (always scrubbing hands and nails before and after washing each section of me). Just thinking about all that makes me exhausted.
These days I find myself holding my breath worse than ever, wondering why some part of me is starving my heart and brain and everything else. Well, I don’t actually wonder, I know. A few parts of me don’t think it’s worth being around anymore, and I understand. But I think I/we am/are supposed to be here. But that part of me that wants to breath can’t seem to overcome the others who don’t – sometimes. Like today.
I have vegetables to cook, cilantro to wash and prepare, things to organize, receipts to put in my bookkeeping, and I just don’t feel able to focus on those tasks. I did get the dishes done today, left from yesterday. I cooked a healthy, no-sugar-of-any-sort breakfast (then followed it with a chocolate truffle!), and emptied part of my gray water tank, only because I was forced to. It’s raining so I can’t walk, which is fine, as I’d only feel guilty or sad on a day like today because I have no energy.
Sometimes I think my spirit helpers helped me get the infection, to help me leave this life as I’ve sometimes said I wanted to – but I really believe it’s the mind controllers who gave it to me. Here’s my theory on that:
I started life as a mind control subject and still was when I “ran away from home” at age 19, but suddenly they had to treat me in a manner for which they hadn’t planned; they had to respond to activities I chose that they hadn’t chosen for me, so they had to adapt their programs. Twice they got me married to other mind control subjects who were able to exert impressive control, but I left each after about 9 years and have been single for the last 27 years.
After my separation in 1993, I – didn’t know it but recognized it later – was put on the “Targeted Individuals” list. I was gang stalked and sabotaged in everything I tried to do, unless the Controllers determined it could be useful to them.
When I lived remotely as a hermit, my experiences felt like science fiction coming from the nearby Fort Huachuca, a (the?) major American intelligence center, also associated, conspiratorially, with aliens. Besides all that, someone destroyed my computer and socially sabotaged me so that I could not work.
In debt, with no clear future, I sold my hermitage and moved to a small town, and my experiences of aliens and UFOs ended; in their place, anomalies left traces suggesting high-tech medicine and electronic warfare testing. Each experiment felt new, none repeated (that I was aware of), all interesting, disconcerting, exhausting, and not as fearful as I philosophically thought it should be.
In one terrible event, I became conscious with a body memory of some disease organism being technologically implanted in my body. In the next two years, I would begin to wake up with a painful scalp I described as feeling “like someone pulled me around by my hair all night,” and another sensation I described as “like someone had pounded the soles of my feet.” The disease would be diagnosed only 5 years later, and I’d find ulcers and fibers growing out of my scalp and fibers growing out of the soles of my feet.
This last phase of my life since I fled my home to travel permanently may have been concurrent with my demotion from military test subject to simple victim for punishment. At least three times I’ve been led unknowingly to attend Satanist gatherings on the Full Moon and woken up disabled for a day or two. I’ve witnessed many endless common people working for Operation TIPS doing drive-by harassment and such, many business owners who mysteriously treat me abominably, and finally, a new variety of electronic harassment.
My value to the mind control organizations I assume has diminished, so that they don’t care now whether I’m killed or not. Someone did something to my truck two years ago, which I documented and thought about a lot, but didn’t have looked at, then my trailer mysteriously fishtailed twice on flat road and then on a hill flipped me over, totaling my truck and trailer home and giving me a whiplash and concussion. Did they intend exactly that? To terrify and hurt me badly, but not kill me? Or did they not care, maybe even took bets on the outcome? I don’t know.
I’m not as controllable (I assume/hope), and can imagine they’re angry at me for documenting their damages and might want to punish me for it. As authoritarian types always have.
I could try to be “good”; I did for so much of my life, when I believed the American dream. But I don’t anymore. I remember now the sexual abuse in my home, my church and strange places I was taken. I remember learning about money, and hating it, because it was exchanged when I was abused. When I learned about Capitalism, it made me extremely sad for the world, and I thought, “This just cannot work.” I’m a failed mind control test subject – at least failed to some degree.
But I’m not sure I have no value to them anymore. I do wake up at least once each month having slept 11 hours and feeling so exhausted I can’t do anything but feed myself, and I have a dreadful feeling my amnesia occured because I was with them or they were in my home the previous night. Was I actually doing something for them? I’ve had impressions of being used to do remote viewing in an altered state as late as 2014. I’ve wondered if I was used sexually. I’ve wondered if I was used to help groom little girls for this work, which breaks my heart the most. I’ve also “glitched” once, and an alter took over who knew how to assassinate and was thrilled to have the opportunity “after such a long time.” Who knows what I might have done all my life!?
Or are they just doing maintenance these days – checking my heart, testing my blood, seeing how their old subject is?
Or are they monitoring the fascinating disease they gave me in 2014?
Six years after that 2014 event when I believed someone intended to inoculate me with disease – and I “forgot” about it all this time – I’m categorizing types of fibers, photographing them, adapting my life, but feeling like I’m losing the battle. Maybe I’m not. I’ve had angels come heal me before. They could come again.
It feels great to write these things, to make a record. But I really should get up to bathe.
I’ll put water on the stove (far more efficient than lighting the 6-gallon water heater), close the camper door (it’s been nice to have it open all morning), turn on the space heater, close the blinds, lay towels on the floor, get out the body scrubs, put on a movie, and begin with my face.
It’s so much trouble, and if I have the energy to do it, there’s no energy left for anything else. Realistically speaking, not emotionally, it just seems like I’m going to die. And eugenically (!?) speaking, I think I should. As a wimp, I don’t want to suffer. As a person defending her sanity against doctors and her self-esteem with a family that doesn’t want to believe her, I don’t want to deteriorate as predicted by this diagnosis.
So I’ve joked I should go volunteer at a local hospital and hope to catch Covid19.
On the other hand, if I’m still useful to the Controllers, I’m not sure they’ll allow me to die. I have an implant in my heart and, for all I know, they’ll keep me alive to watch the disease develop (like they did with the Tuskeegee Black prisoners who were given a related spirochete, syphilis) and thereby torture me for my sins. But maybe not. I can hope.
If I live, I still have so many other unpleasantries of old age: missing teeth, malocclusion, failing eyesight, and forgetfulness (and we hope it’s not Alzheimer’s); but worst is not old age but the technology mind controllers put in me over the decades. I have documented implants in my heart, g-spot, alongside my clitoral shaft, on my left scapula, 6 in my teeth, 2 in my ears, and I believe there could be more. They can be used to move my whole body or vibrate a part, make me nauseous and anxious, immobilize me, shift my consciousness off and on, turn on other programmed alters, and more. Even if I could heal my Morgellon’s and get my teeth fixed, who would want to be subject to the rest of what I live with? No one.
But if my controllers seem to be trying to kill me, then I wonder whether they’re not using me in any significant way anymore. And that would be an excellent understanding, in a way – to be killed instead of mind controlled. Thank you. But I’m not sure of anything.
I don’t mind dying if they don’t string it out too long and painfully. Ironically, though, my daily scrubbing efforts might be helping me live longer, and that’s not really what I want. I should serve my own needs better, and help shorten this eventuality. Yeah, that’s the only thing that makes good philosophical sense. I should just let it take me over.
Unless I’m supposed to be here still for something.
Back and forth, back and forth.
Isolation in Weirdness
Morgellon’s Disease can be painfully isolating – but I’m used to isolation. I’m a mind control subject, and the controllers have always planned for us to be isolated and discredited – in case we’d ever remember what had been done to us.
Since I was a child, my mother has been telling my siblings not to believe me, and while I witnessed her behavior all my life, I’d been programmed to never object to it or anything else my parents might do.
They were being paid, I believe, to cooperate with the controllers with whom they’d contracted when I was a baby, living with them in student housing on the campus of UC Davis where the Human Ecology Project was launched in my first year, a cover for mind control experiments.
My mother created a lot of disharmony between me and my siblings. When they wouldn’t eat all their vegetables, she’d point to me – cruelly mind controlled to obey regardless of my desire – and say, “Why don’t you just eat your dinner like Jean Ann?” and they’d all scowl at me across the table.
Another phase I heard from her often was, “Oh, I’ve always said you had a vivid imagination, and you mixed up your dreams with memory.” Weirdly, she always said the exact same words, never varied, in a sing-song rhythm, so that one day it made the hair stand up on the back of my neck when I realized she seemed to be going into a trance when she repeated the sentence word-for-word, and in that moment I knew something was very, very weird.
I’d just drawn the floor plan of an apartment in which I had my youngest memory, including details about where the linoleum ended and the carpet began and the glazed tall narrow window by the front door – to which she’d exclaimed, “You couldn’t remember that! You were 14 months old when we left there!” Then her face had trembled at the illogic of her words, and she pushed herself up from the table, walked to the window, and said those same words once more.
The memory I’d described rather thoughtlessly (I’d started enthusiastically before realizing it didn’t put her in a very good light but then I had to continue, so I de-emphasized the difficult part) had been of me fussing for her attention, batting around her hips (I was that small), her frustrated response as she stopped her efforts over the stove, threw the spatula, and screamed, “I can’t take this anymore! I’m leaving!” and walked out the door.
My next youngest memory of my mother was of her “washing my mouth out with soap” for something I’d said. I have no idea what it was, but I suspect the thing that enraged her was talking about some sexual abuse in the night. I was so obedient to my mother that after she left me in the bathroom, I followed her, prodding my tongue over chunks of soap stuck to my teeth and my mouth filling with saliva, to get permission to move the step stool so I could spit it all out.
Later, when my baby sister was born, I recall being told to keep my two younger siblings from getting into trouble when my mother took the baby in to nap with her. I was only five and felt burdened to keep two little ones from getting into things they shouldn’t. Of course, they didn’t want to listen to me, and things didn’t always go well. But I still have no memories of my mother’s face or her looking at me.
Today, when I describe anything weird to my siblings, they all ignore me in a similar way; they respond to everything “normal” and are absolutely silent about everything else, even the most extreme.
Once, after I’d woken with a Taser burn on my arm, my face looking as bad as I’ve ever seen it, and my physical energy totally drained for days, I crafted a letter to my siblings and edited it for three days until I thought I had something that was as brief as possible, but still well-documented, limited to what I thought they could handle, with a conclusion simply asking for their advice in addressing this common weirdness in my life, of waking with weird injuries and total exhaustion.
Two of my three siblings responded with one sentence each. My brother would pray for me; my older younger sister said she didn’t have any money to lend (I never mentioned money); and my youngest younger sister just didn’t respond.
Years earlier, I’d learned that all my family had met together without me for a special long weekend at the family cabin, and I was never told the nature of the meeting. I assume they all decided to do something like I’ve heard is done in mental health cases: only respond to what’s “real”; ignore what’s “not real.” I understand. Mom did her job well, and my siblings simply believe I’m somewhat crazy.
That’s not really a problem. I could always just live my life without communicating with my siblings. But one sibling will be executing the family estate one day, and my father’s will has some strange language about money NOT going to anyone who can’t care for him- or herself; and if my brother – who has, as a fundamentalist Christian, chosen to act very hostilely to me in the past, including telling me I’m not in touch with reality as he walked away, waving his hand as if to shoo away any words back from me) – actually believes I’m crazy, then I might get ZERO inheritance – unless I go live in an institution!
So I continue to treat my situation like a good scientist, and document, document, document. I have photos, testimonies, medical records, police records, and more. But my siblings want to hear of nothing; they want to continue to pretend I’m crazy, and no sexual abuse or mind control has had anything to do with our family.
Never mind that our family has connections to Masons, Mormons, the Military, and Hollywood. And one sister hired Madonna’s mother to be nanny to her baby daughter!
One other way I could interpret my siblings’ behavior is that they’re more knowledgeable than they let on, and they know our parents were involved and that I was given into mind control, but it’s best to pretend they don’t know, because it has always been in everyone’s best interests to protect our father (and mother, who passed away last year).
Or maybe it’s to protect themselves. Maybe they’re also in on it somehow. Maybe they became Satanists at some point, willfully or accidentally. Or maybe there’s some other reason.
I choose to believe they were simply encouraged from their earliest years by my mother and father to disbelieve me – because the controllers know that their experiments are not fully refined, and their subjects often “glitch” and realize the weirdness or pain of their lives and want to tell someone. So to head off that possibility, their subjects are called crazy or not dependable from their earliest days to everyone close to them.
The world tells me I have a good mind; I’ve scored high on college exams, Air Force exams (I never joined), and MENSA tests (also never joined). I’ve been offered two six-figure salaries; and in college received comments from three professors that my analyses were the most astute and creative that they’d read in their careers.
Last week, one of my sisters learned about the harsh treatment of migrants in our border jails, and I wrote back to say I wasn’t surprised because of how I’d been treated in jail as an activist. It involved being Tasered and losing 24 hours of memory. She ignored me.
The sad part is my family and exes seems to have also convinced my daughter to distrust me too. My son I’ve chosen not to tell much to, so he’s the only positive “real” connection, but I haven’t had the courage to actually be real, lest he turn away also.
So I live with NO acknowledgement of my reality or the pain or anxiety I suffer, except from random friends now and then who’re dealing with something similar.
I worry about my family. I’d like to protect my kids and granddaughter and some of my nieces and nephews, but the mind controllers have been plotting for decades to keep exactly this from happening.
So I live philosophically. Each of us has their own lessons to learn, and no one can help another learn them. We can support and encourage and love, but ultimately we can’t help.
We have our own spiritual Helpers though, and so I pray for my children and grandchildren, and even my siblings and father and mother on the other side, and my nieces and nephews – that their Helpers are doing what’s possible, and I don’t need to worry. It’s sad, though, never having had siblings to whom I could relate normally.
I’ve enjoyed that sense of family when I’ve connected with the other side. It’s not very often though, at least that I remember.
I don’t blame anyone. We’re all mind controlled to some degree, and some of us with the worst of it can see it better and sooner; those who can’t see it have every reason not to look: it’s scary. I don’t blame them for looking away.
I’m sure life would be delightful if I could pretend this stuff wasn’t real and “make it real,” and I tried that for ten years. But after a decade of denial, throwing all my life energy into other activities, they were always sabotaged and brought down by mysterious forces, either working in me or working through others.
So I accept that my eyes and ears and good mind are right; I’m mind controlled. And those around me have been mind controlled to ignore what I’d like to tell them.
I respect mind control. It’s next to impossible to combat. At least I can’t, yet. So I can’t blame others for turning their backs on me.
Hopefully, we’ll talk about it in the afterlife.
Too Weak to Bathe
This is the one of the 3 worst spots with a quantity of mystery fibers.
Many days lately I’ve felt too tired to bathe. I monitor my Morgellon’s Disease with a digital microscope and see fungal and spirochetal co-infections growing wildly all over my face or other places just one day after a good scrubbing.
I also find all sorts of anomalies that match various Internet photos of fungal infection or skin cancer, including many on my scalp and elsewhere that look like little red raspberries called “most fast growing.”
Many days, I can only wash my face and genitals but just don’t have energy to wash any more. 
In the last few days, I’ve found new patches of fungal-looking growths all over my ears and the back of my neck where I’ve not seen them before – and I despair that I don’t have the energy to address them. To lift my arms for that long, and rub abrasive back and forth just sounds like too much energy to expend all over my ears and neck and every crevice and angle and above and below of every limb and my torso – just way too much.
And for what? So I can live a healthier life to be mind controlled against my will on a regular basis? No thanks. But still the irrational urge to live is still in me.
Spirochete related to syphilis. It’s striped, partially transparent, with knobs and bends, and it moves, but medical professionals glance quickly and say it’s just a hair.
The spirochetes are my main concern, as they can enter the nervous system, heart and brain. In the last month, I’ve noticed my hands trembling and fingers flicking my phone or my face without my intention.
My energy is so low I wonder about my heart, since I’ve already had “at least one” (according to a doctor) heart attack, and keep finding myself holding my breath, feeling weak and even like crying at the thought of a doctor-recommended treadmill “stress test,” which I don’t think I can do. And there’s a strange feeling under my skull, and I often feel unable to focus my mind for tasks I really need to do, so I barely keep up.
Besides bathing, I deal with this complex disease in a few other ways: excellent diet with little sugar, as much sleep as I want, moderate exercise as I feel able each day, sunshine, internal supplements, topical ointments, and prayer. I keep up with these well enough, but I just don’t have the physical energy to scrub every part of my body every day.
I’ve wondered whether to hire someone to bathe me (as if I could afford it or barter enough to pay for what would probably be at least an hour’s effort every day), or give up (intending to die), or try to increase all my other healing attempts so that not scrubbing won’t be an issue. Or maybe I should be on oxygen, so I’d have the energy to bathe myself. Some say I should quit all my efforts and just pray.
I dunno. I think about dying often, and I usually just feel relieved that the battle could soon be over. I feel a little sad for myself, but mostly sad for our whole world, run as it is by people who’d mind control us for their purposes and kill us with gruesome diseases if we weren’t useful enough to them. But scriptures says that’s what the gods have always done.
Hanging in there anyway ~
One “hair” that isn’t a hair
No one wants to believe these things aren’t just hairs, so I’ve taken a few photos to show you their structure.
This brown thing definitely moves when the microscope glides around, but sometimes it seems to move as if perceiving. They all have a particular bend with a tiny knob at that bend.
At the base is redness and apparently a second protrusion, cylindrical and stubby, alongside the main item.
It’s common to find two of these from the same place, and also common to find two different types of anomalous growths. This is too short to categorize.
Above the bend, the organism (I feel I can call it now) is striped in color and transparency.
Refocusing toward the tip, the striping continues.
The tip is very difficult to capture with the quality of microscope I have. Often it seems to be a bundle of fine long fibers that read something in the environment.
Hairs don’t look like this. Microorganisms in the fungal family might. Any experts out there?
It seems to be diminishing with oregano oil (a drop in a 1/2t Vitamin E oil). I think I should also get more sun, and consume less sugar.
After a lifetime of not eating much sugar at all, I’ve started to indulge even when I know it’s totally contrary to my healing. I’ve heard some people say our parasites can communicate their desire, such as for sugar, which we mistake for our own desire. So this bacterium and fungus I’m fighting might be the ones calling out for a little bit of sugar.
(Again, every doctor AND Naturopath I’ve consulted (seven in five months) acts like they’re either afraid or following orders to deny this and push me away, adding to the theory that they’re all in a conspiracy to hide and deny the results of secret government research; consequently, I haven’t yet found one to order me a blood test. The Tuskeegee syphilis patients in the 1940s died of a spirochete not too different from the one we’re calling Morgellon’s. Maybe in forty years everyone will get an acknowledgement and apology. But not now.)
So I’ve quit looking for a blood test; I just assume I have this spirochete, and I know it can hurt your heart and go into your nervous system and brain. And all that might have begun. And I might be dying.
On the other hand, I have been healed so many times by unseen forces, I’ve always assumed by my Helpers, but possibly by Mind Control technology in order to get me strong enough for some amnesic task I’m needed for, I really don’t know.
I do know I have implants all over in me, as I’ve felt them activated in various ways, and one doctor heard one. So it finally occurred to me, I’m probably going to live or die depending on whether the Controllers – or my Helpers – want me to.
But in case my life is in my hands, then I’m taking care of it pretty well, except for the few grams of sugar I try to stay under each day (10, but it used to be 5). I eat organic when it’s available, sleep well, take supplements and super-nutrients, minimize coffee and alcohol. And I scrub the fungi away every day – at least for the last two days, but I’ve been intending for a long time.
I read today Edgar Casey said the Unseen is far more powerful than the Seen. I need to be reminded. For some reason – mind control? – these things I know I act like I don’t know! So I need prayer help on this.
I’m trying to design my life for maximum healing (and saving money), camped in a beautiful place in the desert, where I was greeted by an owl, coyotes, and lots of birds, a phainopepla this late afternoon. I’ve bathed in teas made from the leaves of desert creosote. I’m hoping I can keep up the energy the next time I’m “attacked” – apparently hit by some vibe that disables me.
Keeping up the spirit for now.
Overview of Morgellon’s Challenge
First used digital microscope in May 2019 to investigate deep sores on scalp followed by deep scabs. Discovered this wound first:
Later found more scalp ulcers, this one photographed in October, 2019:
Also found ulcers on my face:
And this on the bridge of my nose:
Also, an ulcer in my vagina, with strange fibers in the open wound:
And fibers everywhere on my body:
Even emerging from the soles of my feet:
And this cluster of fibers seems to be contained in lymph and blood, picked off the tip of one of my toes:
And some of the fibers seem similar to hairs, but with strange features like blunt “heads,” jointed structure, and sometimes apparent independent movements:
Along the way I also found things that seem like photos of cancer I’ve seen online – little red raspberry-appearing things:
And I’ve found evidence of what I believe is a spirochete infection, on both my genitals and face:
Since the Morgellon’s controversy contains the story of a secret biowarfare lab working with spirochetes that got out of control, and because another historic controversy involved another spirochete, syphilis, tested on Black men in the forties, it is concerning to find spirochetes on my body and doctors refusing to look or test.
And because of the history of our nation’s biowarfare experiments on unwitting subjects, and my previous evidence that I’ve been used for other experiments, it’s especially concerning to find artificial elements like this yellow, six-sided bead that seems to be planted tightly on my scalp:
One evening when I hadn’t scrubbed my face in 18 hours, I found this apparently complex ecosystem growing on my chin, which thankfully could be scrubbed away:
And this seems to be a fungal infection on my face, according to a medical care provider:
Sorry I haven’t been able to post much. I’ve been dealing with extreme fatigue (another symptom of Morgellon’s) and inability to focus on the few days I have Internet access. Another possible development is that the spirochetes can move into one’s heart, nervous system and brain. Last summer, I took a 6-mile hike, climbing at least a 1,000 feet elevation, and felt fine. Today, I can’t walk a mile without exhaustion.
I’ve also developed a tremor or palsy in my hands! I’ve flicked myself in the face while falling asleep and tapped more unwanted items on my cell phone and witnessed my left hand trembling so bad I have to hold the phone against something steady to be able to use it – all symptoms of spirochetes moving beyond just the skin.
So when I have a hard time thinking and feel a fullness under my scalp I wonder if they’re passing the blood-brain barrier and invading my brain.
Sure wish the 2 doctors and 3 Naturopaths I’ve consulted would have taken this seriously. One did, and she said she was scared of it and referred me to out-of-state doctors. I appreciate her honesty. The two doctors, I assume, are in the secret network, aligned against us targeted individuals. The other Naturopaths might have been threatened, but couldn’t be as honest as the one.
Now I’m away from home and my health insurance plan just doesn’t work for nomads. So I’ve been waiting for two months for one Naturopath to send me an order for blood work, but his office hasn’t sent it.
Some days I feel like I’m dying slowly, eaten alive by fungus and spirochetes, my skin looking horrible under the microscope, my heart feeling fainter by the day, my hands occasionally trembling, no energy to scrub myself as often as I should.
Other days, I just feel better, or if I really need to do things, I “dissociate” well enough to enjoy productive days and some lazy days and visiting with friends. Here’s a photo to prove it:
I appreciate you caring.
Salon.com on Aspie Activist’s Super Power
Greta Thunberg is right: Autism is her superpower. Those who mock her should learn from her
Greta Thunberg is being mocked by the right for her autism. In fact, it’s the reason she may save the world
Matthew Rozsa
September 12, 2019 12:00PM (UTC)
You’ve probably heard of Greta Thunberg by now. In case you haven’t, she’s a 16-year-old girl from Sweden who has become world-famous in little more than a year. In August of 2018, Thunberg launched a solitary school strike outside the Swedish Parliament building in Stockholm, standing there all by herself with a sign calling for urgent action against the climate crisis. From the beginning, her argument was both simple and compelling: The adults who are destroying the planet are forcing her generation to face an existential threat to human life and the natural world. Something must be done, right now.
Journalists noticed her, and a few other students started coming too; then dozens, and then hundreds. By the spring of this year Thunberg’s solo actions had inspired a worldwide movement with its own hashtag: #ClimateStrike. Millions of teenagers and children all over the world have participated, urging governments and other institutions of power to do something about the crisis that endangers their future. Their reasoning ca be summed up by what 19-year-old named Aji Piper told the House Select Committee on the Climate Crisis last year:
While I am not a lawyer nor a climate scientist, and I only recently came of voting age, I know from studying climate science and living with the consequences of climate change today that my health, my community, and my future — and that of my generation — is at stake.
Thunberg’s gift lies in her ability to sum up the issues of the climate crisis succinctly, in a form anyone can understand. Take this excerpt from a recording she did for “Notes on a Conditional Form,” a new album by The 1975.
We are right now at the beginning of a climate and ecological crisis. And we need to call it what it is: an emergency. Today we use about 100 million barrels of oil every single day. There are no politics to change that. There are no rules to keep that oil in the ground, so we can no longer save the world by playing by the rules, because the rules have to be changed, everything needs to change, and it has to start today.
She concludes, “The main solution is so simple that even a small child can understand it. We have to stop our emissions of greenhouse gases.”
There is an eloquence to that, as well as a simplicity. Thunberg doesn’t go into wonkish detail like a scientist, or overblown (or evasive) rhetoric like a politician. She aims right for the soul of the matter. She has digested the inescapable conclusions of climate change science, and turned them into a few sentences that tell you everything you need to know: The world is heading toward an ecological catastrophe because of our greenhouse gas emissions. Period. Everything else is commentary.

00:00/00:00
With her sudden fame and influence, Thunberg has also become a target for right-wing abuse — which is probably a sign that climate deniers and their allies are scared of her. Like the Parkland student protesters before her, Thunberg has been mocked, derided and subjected to semi-conspiratorial whisper campaigns by many of her critics on the right.
During Thunberg’s recent trans-Atlantic voyage to the U.S. (she refuses to travel by air), one Brexiteer joked that she might have a yachting accident. A right-wing British MP dismissed her as the “Justin Bieber of ecology.” An Australian blogger named Andrew Bolt took a veiled swipe at her mental health by describing her as “deeply disturbed.”
That last insult was both important and emblematic. From her first moments in the spotlight, Thunberg has been open about the fact that she is on the autism spectrum. (She uses the familiar term “Asperger’s syndrome,” which is no longer used for diagnostic purposes in the U.S.) For fellow autists like me, this makes her both a source of inspiration and a role model. For conservatives wishing to knock her down a peg, needless to say, it’s a perceived weakness and an opening for exploitation and ridicule.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t surprised when I heard that Thunberg was being bullied for having autism. When you’re on the spectrum, being bullied comes with the territory. In high school I often sat alone at lunch and had few friends. Some of those I trusted at the time later admitted that they would also ridicule me behind my back.
Despite the growing awareness that exists for autism, it seems that Thunberg’s story wasn’t very different from mine. She has written on Twitter that before she became an activist, she had “no energy, no friends and I didn’t speak to anyone. I just sat alone at home, with an eating disorder.” Now that she has emerged as the face of a generation that wants to save the planet for all of us, she is being bullied by many on the right for being on the spectrum. Thankfully, times have changed, and she isn’t afraid to speak out.
Thunberg wrote this on Twitter:
When haters go after your looks and differences, it means they have nowhere left to go. And then you know you’re winning! I have Aspergers and that means I’m sometimes a bit different from the norm. And — given the right circumstances- being different is a superpower. #aspiepower. I’m not public about my diagnosis to ‘hide’ behind it, but because I know many ignorant people still see it as an ‘illness’, or something negative. And believe me, my diagnosis has limited me before.
Leading the climate strike movement, she added, has changed her life: “I have found a meaning, in a world that sometimes seems shallow and meaningless to so many people.”
Thunberg’s experience as an Aspie will resonate with many people on the spectrum. Of course autistic individuals are as different from each other as anyone else. But I perceive some common threads here.
1. She has a deep passion about a subject that many people find difficult to comprehend.
Millions of people are concerned about the climate crisis. But when you listen to Thunberg speak, you can tell that her interest is, in some qualitative sense, different. There is an intensity with which she speaks, an in-depth knowledge of the material, that transcends mere familiarity and enters the realm of passion. It is the kind of unbridled enthusiasm that causes many an Aspie to be told to shut up and act normal, because neurotypicals aren’t interested in hearing you “nerd out” about whatever topic has popped into your head. For me those subjects include history, politics and pop culture; for Thunberg, it’s clearly climate science.
Considering that people with Asperger’s are often known for their ability to absorb vast quantities of information on specialized subjects and use it constructively, if there is someone you want to consult as an expert on climate change, it’s an Aspie.
2. Her perceived weirdness is used to discredit her, often by people who won’t quite say they’re picking on her for being on the spectrum.
This one, I regret to say, never goes away. Even in my adulthood — even in environments as supposedly understanding as academia — I still encounter people who read my non-neurotypical way of socializing as inappropriate, who demand that I show more emotion or who pick apart everything I say. These people probably don’t think of themselves as bigots. But the fact that the comments sections under every article about Thunberg are littered with ridicule about her “weird” or “robotic” behavior, or other insults everyone with autism has heard, strongly suggests that they are.
If there is one message that neurotypical people need to hear, it’s that if you viscerally reject an Aspie because he or she is “weird,” your opinion on your motives is irrelevant. Either you are a bigot, or you’re behaving a hell of a lot like one.
3. Most of the criticism of Thunberg that is based on her autism comes from the right.
This isn’t simply because, in general, liberals and progressives have more empathy for marginalized groups. It is also because there is a growing tendency to use “autistic” as an insult on the online right, akin to “snowflake” or “cuck.” The underlying idea is that if you’re on the autism spectrum, you’re a freak, detached from the regular world, either prone to emotional outbursts or android-like in affect. (Bigotry is rarely consistent.)
I’ve been attacked for my autism in Reddit forums on everything from white nationalism to feminism. When I wrote a personal essay in 2017 saying that my autism helps inform my political views, the picture and headline became a meme in certain circles, as if the idea that autism was linked to liberal politics could somehow discredit liberal ideology as a whole.
The right’s obsessive focus on Thunberg’s autism also illustrates their fear. This is where the analogy with the Parkland student protesters is strongest: Conservatives can’t easily dispute the moral imperative driving these young people (who don’t want to die, whether from gunfire or a poisoned planet) or their factual evidence. So they instead resort to cheap shots. Like all bullies, they pick on you not because they’re convinced they’re right, but because they feel inadequate.
As autism expert Tony Attwood puts it, people on the spectrum are “renowned for being direct, speaking their mind and being honest and determined and having a strong sense of social justice.”
The part of our condition that involves disability is largely about socialization: We can have difficulty reading the subtext in interpersonal interactions, reading nonverbal communication and deciphering body language. On a deeper level, people on the spectrum struggle with the ethereal language of socialization that neurotypicals intuitively understand and take for granted.
This presents a catch-22 for members of the autistic community. If, on the one hand, we’re capable of learning the “social script” and thus appear “normal,” people question whether we are really on the spectrum at all. I recall a boss who once told me, “I’d never be able to tell you were autistic if you didn’t let me know that.”
At the same time, many find the performance of constantly behaving like a neurotypical person to be exhausting. When you become too tired to keep it up and begin to display autistic traits, the social penalties are even greater because people can’t understand why you went from being normal to being “weird.” This, of course, assumes that you can perform the social script in the first place, which many of us can’t.
As a result, we experience rejection and tend to self-isolate and self-loathe. Unless, of course, we’re lucky enough to be rewarded for the aspects of our condition that are superpowers.
In June I had a conversation with Temple Grandin, a professor of animal science at Colorado State University and a well-known spokesperson for autism. As we discussed the fact that we had been fortunate to find careers doing things we loved, she said that her advice for anyone on the spectrum was to figure out which of your gifts can be directed toward a vocation and then “make yourself really good at it.”
The gift of being autistic is that you tend to be really good at certain things, often with less effort than others have to put into them. (Which can cause more than a bit of jealousy). The downside is that because of your deficiencies in socialization, you don’t have much choice. You have to be really good at these things. If you’re not, society is likely to discard you for your difference and not reward you for what you have to offer.
We have to work harder, try harder, seize every opportunity and never stop being hungry. Because the moment we fail, the normies may decide they have no more use for us.
This is why it is so inspiring, indeed gratifying, for an Aspie to be taking the lead in saving the world. If Greta Thunberg succeeds in changing history, it will be not in spite of her autism but because of it. It is the fact that she has the passion and drive and work ethic to focus on a singular issue, and the intellect to understand it in all its complexity, and the maturity of a society that is far from where it should be in accepting autism but is miles ahead of where it was only a few decades ago. And, as it happens, the issue she’s so singularly focused on is one that has mobilized an entire generation that realizes, all too clearly, that their future is literally at stake.
Greta Thunberg is right: Her autism is her superpower. And because she is using it to fight for a righteous cause, she is precisely the hero we need right now.
Matthew Rozsa
Matthew Rozsa is a breaking news writer for Salon. He holds an MA in History from Rutgers University-Newark and is ABD in his PhD program in History at Lehigh University. His work has appeared in Mic, Quartz and MSNBC.
Judge rules terror watchlist violates rights of Americans on it but punts on next step – CNNPolitics
A federal judge ruled on Wednesday that the Terrorist Screening Database violates the constitutional rights of American citizens who are on it, deciding in favor of 23 citizens who sued after being placed on the watchlist.
— Read on www.cnn.com/2019/09/04/politics/terrorism-screening-database/index.html
Maybe/not parasites/worms in sinuses
It sure seemed like I had a parasite, probably a worm of some sort, in my sinus, and not only that, but it seemed to be laying eggs!
It’s possible, though, that I was mind controlled to believe this was the case. At first it seemed as though someone would have had to mind control me to enter an altered state and let them in my camper to squirt something sticky into the front of my right nostril, then leave and let me come to normal consciousness to find the sticky stuff there and freak out. Crazy.
Later I thought it might have been possible for someone to mind control me to believe I’d found the white sticky stuff in my nostril and twirl five Q-tips in there repeatedly to get it all out. More likely, with my history.
I thought I was videotaping my Q-tip work – part of my usual habit of keeping excellent documentation of everything – but discovered the camera wasn’t recording until I was in the final stages. I saved the Q-tips hoping a lab could tell us what sort of parasite it was. If I was mind controlled, though, then the Q-tips should have nothing unnatural on them.
Of course, discrediting mind control subjects who come partially conscious and begin to speak out, like I have, is one of the Controllers’ primary goals. So I’m inclined to believe, if anything finally proves all my concerns are “imagined,” then this was mind control for discrediting purposes.
If my concerns are not discredited, then I’ve experienced something very weird, have some medical concerns, have been treated very rudely by doctors, and need help.
For now, I believe I was deluded, not delusional – deluded by parties that have an interest in discrediting me, since I have worked for years to blow the whistle on them. Here’s how the latest unfolded for me:
It all began when I used a digital microscope (I highly recommend) to see the surface of my scalp where I believed a microwave shot might have hit me in the head (photos above); if it wasn’t a microwave shot, but something else, I wanted to see it.
I found a perfectly round one, as expected (left), and one that seems to have hit my scalp at an angle (right). The skin in both cases appears to have been punctured multiple times in a round or parabolic shape.
Fine hairs, a tiny fraction of the width of normal hair, and often curling, are found on my scalp and other parts of my body.
Eventually, I had to also acknowledge some things I’d seen but wanted to ignore, like strange fibers that were much finer than hair, and other hair-like things that seemed to act like self-directed periscopes or antennas.
Odd, blunt-headed hair-like structures all over my body often seemed to move as though perceiving.
Other organisms seemed to be swimming in pink and orange puddles of dissolved skin.
And my feet under the microscope seemed to have been punctured in the near-center of every print line at regular distances by some parasite that completely covered the soles of my feet.
These well-spaced holes cover the soles of my feet.
Since I regularly feel as though I’ve been raped in the night when I wake in the morning, I wasn’t surprised to find I have a genital infection as well.
Some of these made me – and some readers of an earlier post – think of Morgellons, and I wondered when I’d been inoculated with it.
This is the one of the 3 worst spots with a quantity of mystery fibers.
Even though only one place on my body had large numbers of fibers, there was at least one strange fiber at every location I set down the microscope, and I felt covered by organisms from scalp to toe, disgusted, and terrified when I considered my life history of doctors seem to be involved in the nighttime amnesic events and to be hostile to me in their daytime offices.
I’d been feeling as though something was wiggling around in my right sinus all day, and it might be related to the sensation I’d had the night before of something crawling up my windpipe into my throat near my left eustacian tube, and then across to the right side before I fell asleep. I used the otoscope to look down my nasal cavity a few times that day, and suddenly I saw for the first time what appeared to be a long white worm, or maybe a bunch of smaller ones, wrapped around the nasal structure – or maybe it was just mucous. I wasn’t sure, so I waited for clarity.
After turning my attention to something else, suddenly something new appeared: fluffy-looking snow-white foam filled the front opening of my right nostril!
It clearly wasn’t mucous. Maybe the worm or other parasite was real, and it’s just deposited this foam – laid eggs – thankfully where I can remove them easily. But where is the parasite, and where else might it lay eggs?
To my great surprise, removing the sticky foam wasn’t easy. When my Q-tip touched the white fluff, it surprised me with its stiffness and stickiness – it had an affinity for skin and did not let go! This was nothing that could be mistaken for mucous.
“my skin was beginning to bleed and the stuff was still in patches here and there”
I used 5 Q-tips, 10 ends, and had to quit after a few minutes because my skin was beginning to bleed and the stuff was still in patches here and there, impossible to scrape or pull off! (Days later it seems to have hardened into a tough thin layer of something like shellac.)
(I thought I was videotaping the foam removal but was surprised to find the software hadn’t clicked on. This still photo is from a video of my attempt to clean up the last bits.)
Looking online for organisms that match my organisms, I have been rather worried to not find them, as that leads me to consider the conspiracy theories about designer organisms being planted in targeted individuals. Maybe that’s an additional reason why no doctors want to treat me?And of course, looking for information, I watched some fascinating videos about parasites being pulled from people’s ears and noses, with tools that travel in tiny spaces, videotaping while sucking parasites out – I wanted that!
While all the sinus sensations I’d had might be dismissed as imaginary or incorrect interpretation, the white sticky foam at the front of my nostril seemed like something I could not ignore.
It seemed incontrovertible evidence that something potentially dangerous was unfolding and I would be stupid to ignore it.
At the emergency room, the doctor refused to accept that the white foam wasn’t mucous, but for me, it was the clinching reason I was at the ER; something had laid eggs in my head, and was likely to lay more, and some of the foam was still right there inside my nostril, easily available to be collected and sent to some lab for identification.
In exasperation, the doctor offered me a parasiticide, which I took even though I “never” take pharmaceuticals. Dumbfounded to be not believed, I was comforted only that the parasiticide would kill it and make the issue moot. (I thought I’d tell the doctor later when I had proof of the parasite’s existence.) He sent me home with advice on how to treat a sinus condition.
On the Internet the next day, I read about the drug I’d taken, Ivermectin – that it doesn’t kill adult worms. Fortunately, I was able to see a Naturopath that day who referred me to an Ear Nose and Throat specialist and ordered blood tests of everything she thought pertinent. I gave my blood, shopped for a liver cleanse, and twice called the ENT who promised to return my calls within 2 hours, but never did, not even the next work day. When I finally got a through to the office, they told me my Medicaid insurance plan wouldn’t be accepted, and it would even be “illegal” for them to accept cash. (What???!)
For a second day, I’d felt movements in my right sinus, along with odd pressure points about once an hour, at different places each time. I imagined worm eggs being laid in various places, sometimes feeling they were puncturing into my inner ear or brain cavity. My entire head began to feel under pressure. I asked myself at every point, Am I imagining this?
In recent days I’ve videotaped a lot of oddities on and under my skin:
green fiber
orange fiber
Blood-colored shapes under the skin
Three punctures inside my cheek, along with a crystalline hair!
And many, many more fibers, including many that appear crystalline.The second evening I wondered if there was anything else to do. Might these be the last days of my life – if worms all hatched in my head one day soon?
Or was I imagining this? How could I imagine the sticky white fluff, when I’ve saved the Q-tips and have a video of me trying and failing to clean out the last of the impossibly sticky stuff from my nose? If it wasn’t parasite eggs, what was it, and how did it get there?
Was I mind controlled to go into a programmed altered state to let a mind control handler in the camper who squirted something up my nose (in the middle of the afternoon), then left me to come back to normal consciousness and find it? Sounds pretty crazy, but it is the way that lots of mind control is done.
What other explanations are there? Both worms in the head and mind control to make someone think they have worms in their head are both equally disturbing.
Two days feeling worm-like movements in my sinus, I suddenly felt something coming up from my windpipe again – that’s what had happened the night before I noticed the first sinus effects – so I grabbed my digital otoscope, plugged it in with shaking hands, and tried to capture video of whatever was coming up my throat. My hands shook terribly, and I was unable to calm them down. Whatever video I hoped to catch was hopelessly blurry. And then I noticed little squiggles climbing up my throat – not one big worm, but dozens of tiny things springing forward, their bodies in tiny S-shapes!
When I saw those tiny “worms” springing up my throat, it tipped me over the edge. Now we had evidence; the doctors would have to believe.
But I didn’t want to go back to the ER without checking with someone else, so I called the 24-hour medical advice line offered by my insurance company.
Dr. Lu eventually came on the line, but in the intervening minutes, I’d decided that I didn’t trust what I’d seen with my shaky hand-held otoscope, and decided the little “leaping worms” might have actually been artifacts of my shaky hand and dots of light, so I skipped that detail and reported only 1) the sensations of things traveling up my throat from my windpipe, 2) sensations of things moving in my sinuses, 3) the sudden appearance of fluffy white foam in my nostril, and 4) my video of what I believed was a worm wrapped around a structure in my sinus (even though I’d once thought it could possibly be mucous, I’d checked later and thought I’d found it entirely gone one hour and then returned – worm-like, not mucous-like). Dr. Lu wanted to see it, but unfortunately, my computer suddenly went offline, so she told me to go back to the emergency room and show the doctors my photos.
So I returned, 24 hours later, shaken but confident that a different doctor would see what I saw and not dismiss the clear compelling description I had of the white sticky substance that couldn’t be removed – that was still there for them to take a sample of – and the Q-tips for testing.When the doctor arrived after hours of my waiting, he sat in a hunched posture with his head bowed, looked at me through harsh, squinting eyes, and began challenging everything I said. He ended with some comment about “mental illness,” and I knew I’d been fooled again into doing what mind control subjects should never do: give another doctor (potentially in the mind control network) ammunition against my future freedom as a mental healthy person. I concluded again to myself: I should never consult Western doctors, no matter how desperate I think the situation. When the doctor left to finish my paperwork, I left without waiting for him.
The next day, my sinuses were mostly still, but stuffy, and I wondered if the parasiticide had killed whatever it was. With the otoscope, I also noticed there seemed to be a lot of thin white stuff that coated my sinuses in a new way I’d never seen. (And I’d been looking inside my sinuses almost daily.) Was it fibers of web? I followed the hospital advice for a sinus condition and snorted salt water up my nose repeatedly, but it only cleared away what I’d recognized as mucous, while the new white stuff remained untouched.
For the first time I saw the structures of my nose entirely swollen together, the spaces I’d usually peer into were swollen closed. Now and then, I would sense something wiggle, and I’d wonder if it was just the normal movements of the sinus or if it was a parasite or worm.
I’d remember what I’d learned about life cycles of small organisms: sometimes major events like egg-laying happen within hours, sometimes days, sometimes years or decades. And I’d wonder what else I should do as a responsible person.
Gathering advice from online, I put peppermint oil on my cheeks and around my ears. I added garlic, onions, and ginger to everything I ate, and hoped that would make my body a poor host for whatever this is.
I didn’t know what else to do. I don’t know what this thing is. And I don’t know how it might be related to the other odd organisms I see proliferating in other places on my body.
If I’m delusional, someone explain the white sticky fluff, at least. And someone take my samples and get them to a lab.
And why were the doctors so adamant, even hostile, about not acknowledging my perceptions? The whole thing feels like a mind control psy op.
If my experience is of a real parasitic organism, what is it? Is it a new, secret designer organism? Will it kill me? Gruesomely? How fast?
~
Life is feeling normal again, though my sinuses are still quite stuffy.
I’ve healed the genital infection.
My blood work tells me I’m okay.
The Naturopath was considerate and helpful, and recommends I see a dermatologist to answer what are all the fibers on my body.
And I’ll take the Q-tips to a lab one day when I find one I trust who’ll test them.
I hope I won’t be surprised one day by parasites all hatching in my head. If they do, and I die, you will all know the backstory, and I’ll ask you to report it to the Flagstaff Medical Center Emergency Room staff.
If nothing ever happens, then I’ll suppose either
1) the parasiticide worked, or
2) there was never a parasite, and it was all my imagination,
a) my own, meaning I have developed a new problem, or
b) someone else’ mind control technology was used to discredit me.
In other words, I’ll continue to live with unknowns and ambiguity.
To do: Find a dermatologist.
New Development: Mysterious Fibers
Hi Friends,
This last year has felt very productive. Not only did I sort a lot of possessions, but I also purchased a couple of USB otoscopes and began video documenting the weird technological anomalies in my ears, nose, and teeth, which I have to conclude are probably implants placed by rogue elements of our government, since I’ve felt implants operated in different parts of my body and even had one doctor hear one operated in my heart. (See ParadigmSalonVideo on YouTube.) Nevertheless, I’ve been trying to keep productive and in a good enough mood to keep my friends and family with me.
In the spring, I purchased a new camper and truck and moved in by summer and got back to productivity on a couple of important projects, while traveling in cooler country. (And helped a friend prepare to flee a fire.)
Also, I needed to get away from my trailer home in Pearce. I had purchased a meter and found off-the-charts electric energy fields in my home that I felt was making me sick and lethargic.
When I found a particularly heavy reading in a wall where there were supposedly no wires of any sort, I considered cutting open the wall to see what was there, but decided instead to just leave town! And life has felt better away from home.
On August 1, I got out my barely-used USB microscope and for the first time put it on my scalp to document what I thought was a microwave shot to the head.
Putting the microscope all over my body, I found a lot of anomalies, mostly weird fibers emerging from my skin, along with other oddities:
dots on soles of feet, plus odd fibers
star patterns of skin on torso, with odd fibers and blood under the skin
and curious fibers all over my body, many of which waved around on their own, like little heads looking this way and that.
fiber under the skin, similar to fibers emerged
Alarmed, I put the microscope on my nether parts and found this lesion, swimming with organisms. Most infuriating, many of these organisms seemed to have been just put there in a clump – not emerging, just laid on the skin, disconnected! With my documentation of people entering my home on a regular basis with myself either made unconscious or immobilized, I have to interpret this finding as evidence that someone has been innoculating me with these.
I’ve spent the last few days now, microscopically videotaping the skin all over my body, finding odd stuff everywhere, researching online, and even talked to one researcher whom I hope will get back to me sometime soon.
Meantime, I’m in a sort of suspended-belief shock.
It is rather weird to be still functioning, but see, microscopically, that your skin is deteriorating and little organisms are eating you. And some of those organisms have behaviors like “looking around.”
Because the medical authorities have denied this condition exists – despite thousands of people having it – makes me believe there’s probably something to the theories that this is a government secret project. Since I clearly have secret technology implanted in my ears, teeth, heart, scapula, genitals, and elsewhere (see past blogs and vlogs), and I’ve ignored their warnings to shut up about it, perhaps they’ve also implanted me with living organisms to make me miserable until I die???
Some say some of these “hairs” are actually antennas – explaining their behavior – connected electronically to the implants. Who knows? We can only guess when the government says, “Nothing… delusional.”
For five days now, I’ve been researching, documenting, and keeping almost totally to myself here in our forest camp. I haven’t told anyone about this except for a few people I’m camping with (very briefly) and two email friends.
I have a researcher calling me back, hopefully soon, and a Naturopath appointment five weeks away. Meantime, I have work to do: appointment in town, and a day’s worth of errands, tank dumps, and provisioning. I’ll act like life is normal.
#
The Minds of Men documentary
A powerful history of America’s experimenting on unwitting, unwilling citizens. Well worth the 3.5 hours.
Reevaluating my implants
Above left is a photo inside my right ear. On the right is a photo of one of many “normal inner ear” images on the Internet that look very similar.
The differences I see are these:
- First, it appears that the drum – the semi-clear membrane in front of everything including the silver piece – is gone in my ear – though recent photos show it has grown at least halfway back. I took this photo shortly after the highway incident in which I felt the microwave attack, felt the extreme pressure in my ears which I worked to dissipate by rapidly “popping my ears,” was mentally disabled for a short while (and barely continued driving on the highway), and then when I got home found blood in my ears, which may have resulted in my eardrums being burst.
- The first arrow, upper left in my ear (left photo above), points to something like a square dark gray button, which I have a few photos of from months past, but that button is nowhere to be seen now, so I assume it was removed after I posted it.
- The next two arrows point to the “cone of light” which seems to have two mechanical pieces attached to the outside of it.
I have been unable to find anything like this in any photo online. - The last two arrows in the photo above point to something that appears similar to small squares of folded aluminum foil. These have also disappeared from my ears since posting.
- Finally, above and below, the wire-like things. This is a recent photo, but the old one show the same thing: apparent wires. I’ve watched videos of the inner ear and heard one doctor state that there are NO hairs this deep in the ear, so I assume they’re artificial.
Thanks for being with me on this journey.
Another highway crash test?
Last night on the highway, my truck was blown sideways by a utility truck that came alongside me and just ahead so that I could read it’s sign and then drifted back. Then it did it again perhaps 20 minutes later.
In October 2017, I experienced a different highway test, twice, before my trailer fishtailed and flipped me on the highway. That time, some other vehicle caused my truck and trailer to fishtail on flat land, something essentially impossible naturally, but they had done something to cause it to happen.
Now I am afraid to drive. The sign on the side of the truck was something like “service security project.” Or “service protection program.” It was a white utility vehicle and the sign was a simple one with red print on white, with no design other than the letters and perhaps a border.
I have often wished to exit this life if I have to be a targeted individual, subject to this ongoing terror campaign. But I do not want to die by a car crash. I don’t want to create an environmental mess and destroy all my possessions.
When I’ve thought of dying, I’ve thought of going to Oregon and signing up for their right to die system. But I have never wanted to die in a car crash. For the record.
And I am right now very afraid to drive this vehicle that I just purchased and just got outfitted with a new camper and I’m ready to get on the road for the first time. My joy is all gone, and I am afraid.
I tried to post a video to go with this but that effort failed.
All My Body’s Implants
Places where I KNOW there is an implant – because I’ve felt them activated or have seen and photographed them – and places where I SUSPECT an implant might be – described and documented below. (Numbers 5, 9, 11, 13, and 17 might have been left off the list, as they have little evidence. Numbers 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, and 16 indicate two or more implants.)
1. Top/back crown of head. Often painful and hot. Anomalous radio frequency readings.
2. Represents implants of unknown number in area often painful and hot.
3. Represents implants of unknown number in area often painful and hot.
4. 
Both ear canals – significant technology can be seen with otoscope, is videotaped and published, appears to attract skin to grow over it (see newest videos); ringing since Dec 2010; unusual experience with ears Oct 27, 2016, followed by sense of water in ear for three days. Appears to match online description of “Cochlear Implant” in which elements are mounted inside a rubber cup, as this appears to be.
5. Occiput. Unsure. Associated with altered state once.
6. 
Back of back-right-lower tooth appears to have four items stored in geometric order, three vertically, one left of the bottom one, plus a porcelain cap seen in the back, not flush with the tooth. (Also, tooth above, top right, appears very unhealthy at its base.)
7. Two here: 
Implant in side of tooth, lower left, second from back, with porcelain button cap, videotaped signs of transmitting: patch of white inside stain to right, patch of tiny bubbles in front of mysterious stain dots on porcelain cap, the porcelain cap always curious to hygienists. Also another porcelain cap between this tooth and the tooth behind, gold-colored in this photo with a layer of tooth cement on top of it. (And for the record, the tooth above also appears very unhealthy at its base.) (And I stopped one dentist from placing another implant in a tooth when I discovered the extra hole he’d drilled, and he prompted destroyed the evidence by destroying and removing my tooth.)
8. This implanted the day #10 was removed. It tickles now and then.
9. On spine. Theoretical. Think it might be used to pull my spine out of alignment.
10. 
In me for over a year. Bruise showed within two weeks, went away within two weeks after it was removed Oct 26, 2014 (resulting tunnel is shown in photo with bruise beside). Tickled a lot.
11. On spine. Theoretical. Think it might be used to pull my spine out of alignment.
12. In my heart or very nearby. My Naturopath heard it in 2006 and was rather disturbed. She appreciated my not pressing her about it, but she confirmed my account after I’d published my book in 2008.
13. Inside left forearm, beneath elbow. Has pressed on a nerve since my 20s or 30s. May be a harmless cyst, but it’s in a location that many people report implants, so it’s suspected.
14. February 8, 2011, I sensed a cut, up alongside my clitoral shaft about 1” or more up inside, where I assume an implant has been placed. I sensed the cut tissue as soon as I awoke and moved my leg. Some researchers report these implants are placed specifically for sexual torture, but I’ve never felt it activated while conscious.
15. 
Inside my g-spot, where I have a puncture wound (at arrow, above the obvious laceration – a different harassment) – indicating an implant that some researchers claim is placed in people explicitly to torture their subjects sexually. Arrived in November 2004 and was activated once (before the clitoral cut happened in 2011), lifting me off the bed when I was reading. (I would like this implant removed first.)
16. Implants in both my hands, unsure exactly where, but they cause radio interference when handling an EMF meter and also when interacting with my iPhone.
17. Smaller than pea-sized, left leg, 1” above the ankle, 1” inside from center shin. Arrived between 2001-2003, suddenly a hard lump under the skin, during time of many UFO experiences.
18. 
Found silver two-layer button in nose, videotaped it; tried unsuccessfully to remove it with a q-tip, disappeared two days later. Also, suspected an implant arrived November 2004, causing nosebleed.
Very strange to realize you’re a cyborg, all wired up, and you never signed up willing.
You were Born into a Sci-fi Scenario
Inside my ear canal (never approved by me)
What do you do when you wake up and realize you were born into a science fiction scenario, and everyone has conspired to lie about it and tell you you’re not too be taken seriously, despite your science journals and other “documentation,” and they want you to just shut up about this stuff?
You’d been fairly successful in living your life as if everything were normal, even though you knew it wasn’t. You lived in an uneasy tension between 2 worlds: the one that everyone else agreed on, that everything was fine, and it even made you feel good to pretend it; and the other reality that opens up regularly at nighttime
, steals your energy, makes you amnesic, and leaves you with wounds that any doctor might leave, except for one that makes you think it had to have been aliens. That’s why you go along with the pretense that everything’s fine, to take a breather from the intensity of the nighttime.
I feel like Persephone, innocent, stolen from the Mother Earth Goddess, and released in seasons, to recover, only to be drug back into Hell again.
All this mythology, of gods and aliens, opened my eyes to realms beyond – which disappeared also when interacting in the world where these things don’t happen, where people don’t even want to know that they happen, even to their own sister or mother; I understand; it’s far too scary to contemplate if you’re not forced to.
What do you do when you wake up, and this is your reality, this science fiction story in which the heroine faces strange demons in strange lands, and has had implants placed all over her body and is made unconscious regularly and has her energy depleted sometimes for days?
Some would say this is a human rights crime, illegal human experimentation. Others would say it’s spiritual warfare. Others alien warfare. Since I think the rogue state may very well be controlled by “aliens,” and everything has a spiritual component, I assume it is probably all three. And I must fight it on all these levels.
I want to believe I was born into this life because I am strong enough to endure and grow from it, and hopefully will play a positive role in the resolution of this crime on Earth.
Thanks for reading and caring.
Implant in my Tooth?
I’ve had this thing since the late 1990s (received in Colorado Springs, incidentally). Occasionally, a dental hygienist will pick at it with a note of confusion in her voice, then quickly shut up and dismiss whatever she’d said. I always wondered why it caused confusion, but I never looked at it until yesterday – with my nifty (usb connected) otoscope!
First thing I noticed was that it seems to stand out, a bit away from the tooth, with gaps all around – the sort of thing I’d think would make a dentist want to replace it. But none has ever suggested it.
Next thing I notice is that the tissue at the base it looks very unhappy – as you can see in every photo.
In one photo, I caught an angle low enough to see what appear to be three tiny dots of stain above a generally-stained area.
When I expand the photo a bit, it then appears to be a stain edge around three white dots.
And then I notice that the saliva bubbles at the base of the tooth immediately in front of the three dots, are tiny as if they might be fractured by microwave transmissions from the area of those dots above.
Then notice the gum line farther right – it’s purple! That indicates a lack of blood flow. Why? Microwaves? I dunno.
Back to the stain, I wonder whether there might be three small transmitters at the three dots, sending out microwave energy which weakens the porcelain enough to allow stains to enter, but somehow immediately at the site of the transmitter, it blasts the porcelain clean – okay theory? Tell me yours. You can expand the photo to see the tiny bubbles – a least a dozen.
Further, to the right of the presumed implant, in every single photo and video, there is a white flare on the side of my tooth, in the middle of an area that is generally stained. It’s as if a misdirected stream of microwave energy is blowing out the side and killing all the bacteria trying to make plaque on my tooth. Any other reason for a spot of perfect white in the middle of a stain, right next to an anomaly that’s also making the tissue very unhappy in one place and purple in another?
Ear Canal Implants Update
Hi Everyone,
Sorry I’ve been unable (mind controlled?) to get on the Internet and do simple things like post. But I’m back and I’m going to try to be more consistent.
I’ve been doing better at my , ParadigmSalonVideo on YouTube, and have a lot of stunning information – like video inside my ears, showing that I’ve been illegally implanted with easily-seen, crazy technology that looks like it may be able to receive and transmit sound (am I a walking spy microphone everywhere I go?) and maybe even control me – I’ve certainly felt it done a few times, though I’ve never known exactly how.
At first I was thrilled to have such excellent evidence of the symptoms I’ve been describing for years. And I worried the controllers would remove them before I could document them well and learn who owns the frequencies at which they operate.
To my surprise, it seems they upgraded my implants, probably during the night of May 5-6, because they look different than in the first video (second above). They seem to have incorporated some implants under the skin, creating a structure that blocks half the canal and squeezes the existing elements together; or maybe they were replaced – as the rubber cup that contains it all seems to have changed from clear to yellowish.
It’s shocking to me that they would be so brazen as to upgrade their work even while I’m watching, video recording, and posting it online for all the world to see – IF it’s actually being seen and not hidden by the controllers. It seems to imply that either 1) my suspicion, which I hope is wrong, is actually true, or 2) there’s something so big coming down in the world that my story will never rise to anyone’s attention.
Other ideas?
Anyone know a doctor or attorney who wants to weigh in on this?
Time for Review
Those last ear canal implant photos really shook me, and made me want to put my whole crazy story into a nutshell. Here it is.
I seem to have been put on the TI list in 2002 when I was doing international media work for the historic, 6-week federal trial Judi Bari v the FBI. (The FBI was found GUILTY on ALL charges related to – but not including – the 1990 assassination attempt on an environmental activist colleague of mine, Judi Bari, and they feds paid a historic judgement.)
During the trial, I twice experienced waking with my entire body vibrating inside what felt like a “vibrational cocoon,” and my immediate thought was “men in a van with high tech equipment,” and after a second or two of alarm, I went unconscious.
In the 17 years since then, I’ve documented everything anomalous in daily journals, including Taser burns, scoop marks, “donut bruises,” injection bruises, other weird bruises, home break-ins, more vibrational experiences, implants (implanted and removed), tones and chords and even movies played in my head, fingers out of joint, broken toe, back mysteriously and seriously out of alignment, social sabotage, online sabotage, financial sabotage, highway stops, amnesia, and a few events of consciousness while my body was controlled to do things I wouldn’t voluntarily do, and more.
While I lived in the country, the weirdness included a LOT of alien and UFO events, as well as tones, amnesia, immobilization, animal mutilations, and highway stops. When, trying to escape the terror, I moved to a small town, the weirdness changed to include a lot of apparent medical events, such as scoop marks, dentists unnecessarily drilling my teeth and doing other procedures, tones, movies, vibrations, and chiropractic distress. When I fled that locale, the events employed drones, TIPS people, Satanists, and more electronics.
But all this is just one layer on top of a larger story. Just days after the Judy Bari v FBI trial ended, at home, I received an email from a friend who shares a lot of my symptoms, suggesting I check out a few websites, and when I did, I had the answer to a lifetime of weirdness I could never explain; I realized I’d been a mind control subject since childhood.
Mind Control
My father was in the Navy, and adamantly never wanted to talk about it. He was in CASU 33, which has an online discussion group dealing with the “mystery” of this unit. He was also a child actor in Hollywood. And his father was a high-degree Mason. My mother was a “jack Mormon” (fallen away, not a church-goer), and she occasionally took me to that church, where I had mind-blowing experiences for which I’m amnesic, but still remember the rage and distress. I’ve also had one flashback to my babyhood, too young to roll over, in which I was ritually sexually abused, left my body and looked down on the room – with men in a semi-circle, and my mother there, sunk to the floor in horror with her hand over her mouth – so I believe it was a Mormon ritual, not a medical one.
I believe I was chosen for mind control at birth because my birth date is 7-7-52 (7-7-7), on a Monday (Moon day), in the middle of Cancer (Moon Child, ruled by the Moon), and not just on the day of the Full Moon, but within 8 minutes of the precise moment of moon fullness – that’s 2/1,000ths of a degree of perfection – the stuff that Satanists love, and there are Satanists inside the Mormon Church, as well as the military and Masons and the CIA mind control program. I believe my parents were groomed to give me, their first born (or first live-born) child to the mind control program in exchange for some sort of benefit. I don’t think they had any connection to Satanists, except by this accident of cooperating with the CIA or Mormons.
I have two years of almost total amnesia from age 6-8, the same age that other Monarch mind control subjects have amnesia, or memories of torture. I remember the train trip to New Mexico with my mother at age 6, in which we left my father home with three children under 3 1/2 years, including my sister only 6 months old. Supposedly we went to visit my mother’s aunt in New Mexico, but that makes absolutely no sense. Later, I remember being delivered home by four men in military uniforms, and being silently “beside myself” with rage and betrayal. The next year, at age seven, I was left with my grandmother in California, while the rest of the family left and promised to come back to get me “later.” And that’s about all I recall of those two years, whereas I remember a great deal of the years before.
I was the most obedient child I’ve ever heard of. So it was ironic and a therapeutic change when I became a radical environmental activist in my 30s (1980s), engaged in civil disobedience. But I was on the most conservative edge of the movement. I was the one who typed letter-perfect media releases, and only once did anything more daring. For work, I was a community relations consultant to domestic violence organizations, health clinics, community radio, the United Way, and even Earth First! – which eventually took all my time, until Judi’s car bombing in 1990 scared the daylights out of everyone.
Until then, when I set a goal, I accomplished it. I was invited to the Leaders Circle of Tucson Network for Women. I was invited to Leadership Tucson, and spoke twice at their events. I sat on numerous boards. I successfully debated issues on radio and television. And ran a business and raised my two kids (who are wonderful and happy).
My life changed like this: In 1993, age 41 (typical age for the return of traumatic memories), I realized I’d been sexually abused as a child, The next year, I realized I was a multiple personality (common, of course, with childhood sexual abuse) – though I’m not the typical TV/movie extreme type. (All the alters created by my controllers only come out under their command, usually with no memory; but I do have other alters, I believe, spontaneously created by me, and also organized in such a way as to not interfere in my life like the extreme cases.) For the next 8 years, I assumed my not-too-bad multiple-ness was a simple by-product of sexual abuse; in 2002, I realized it had been intentionally created for the purposes of mind control. And that was terrifying. For a few years, I thought of suicide every day.
A unique sort of Multiple Personality
Because my alters are so well controlled, I’ve been fairly successful in life, and maybe the mind control even helped me develop my skills. Almost everything I’ve tried, I’ve been very successful at – except socializing. Because I lived with parents who didn’t talk to me much, I didn’t get to learn social skills til very late, and then after one year of kindergarten, I was put into MK for two years. My social education didn’t begin again until I was 8, and I’ve been working to catch up all my life; therefore, I score on the Asperger’s Scale. Like many female Aspies, though, I did learn to “act normal enough” in most social situations, and sometimes I’ve actually been quite successful, but it’s always required great effort.
What I lacked in social skills, I made up for in academics and employment. I usually score on intelligence tests in the genius range. In school, I won awards in art, acting, dancing, and theater design, and was one of the two top math students in my 3,000-student high school. In my professional life, I’ve won awards or recognitions in sales, fundraising, journalism – and some of these were regional and national recognitions. I’ve been offered six-figure salaries. I’ve taught English at university level and been executive director of a local Habitat for Humanity, overseeing both a store and a home building operation. I’ve designed and built houses and juried into art shows. In some ways, it seems the mind control has served me, or maybe I was already a genius and they just took advantage.
I was married twice, and almost a third time, and have been in other relationships with men that lasted for years, always to men I can see now were also MK subjects who participated in my control, knowingly or unknowingly, helping direct the course of my life. My most recent partner, after I kicked him out, I realized he’d been responsible for the injection bruises that I found on my thighs twice a week for 14 months – they ended when he moved out.
I’m on my own again now, and think I will always be. I’ve had all my lifetime’s financial gains stripped from me, through a series of legal improprieties that I was unable to fight successfully – though I tried, doggedly. I used to have a passive solar home on 20-acres of beautiful land with a creek. Then I had another passive solar home in a small town that I’d turned into a showcase with natural plaster interior sculpture and a magical garden. I was terrorized to flee from it all. Now I have a fifth-wheel in a trailer park and a little truck camper for traveling. And no savings, vulnerable, just like They like it.
Anyway, that’s the overview: TI and MK subject, which includes being multiple (an unfortunate fact that’s unfairly discrediting), with Satanists involved – which some people also find unbelievable and therefore discrediting.
I therefore try to be very careful with my accounts, distinguishing perceptions from assumptions, and documenting everything like a scientist. For awhile my journals were even pure science journals, kept according to scientific protocol.
A few nights ago I finally was able to take photos from deep inside my ears with my new USB-connected otoscope – and I found 4 or 5 implants attached just around the bend. (I recommend others try this too.)
Note the square “button,” top left, the square tab or two, below right, and the funnel-shaped thing in the middle. Anyone venture a guess what that is?
In past years, I’ve documented in various ways implants that I’ve felt activated, or otherwise felt the presence of – in my g-spot, up alongside my clitoral shaft, in my heart (a doctor was shocked to hear it), on my left scapula, and more. All of them were weird, or infuriating, but they were tiny and couldn’t be seen, and easier to push out of my consciousness. These ear canal implants are freakier and are affecting me in a deeper way it’s hard to ignore.
With almost two decades of journals compiled into a database, I’m now working to find patterns and themes and otherwise trying to make the best use of the information.
I offer this data to researchers too.
My ear canal implant blogs are here:
https://paradigmsalon.net/2019/04/07/ear-implants-serious-trouble/
https://paradigmsalon.net/2019/04/10/ear-implants-more-discovered/
Thank you for educating yourself. May we all grow in greater consciousness and wisdom.
Ear Implants – More Discovered
I’m so upset by what I’ve discovered, I can hardly type. I found another button-type implant in my left ear.
And I when pushed the otoscope in deeper, I found more than I can make sense of. At first, I thought the black button above and silver button below were one and the same, just a trick of light, but I see now that the black one is clearly round, and the silver button is clearly square, so that makes two. Then there’s something that looks like a tin-foil covered funnel shape with a base and tiny machinery built into the sides. And below that there’s what looks like a tiny square fold of aluminum. That makes four….
From another angle, the square aluminum actually seems to be two squares, one below the other. That makes five. There may be more, but I’m not sure how much might be light flaring off of simple ear hairs. (I never knew I had so much!)
Just before finding this, I’d found what seems to be a crystal embedded in the outer portion of my ear canal. I’ve touched it there with my fingernail for a least a year and thought it was a pimple; with the otoscope, I found this crystal and took multiple pictures of it from different angles. It looks like a natural crystal pushed into my skin.
Then, after I’d published this, the next night I found yet another implant, in the very bottom of my ear canal, with a hint of an aluminum square in the background. That makes six, in one ear canal! I’m beyond words.
For years, I’ve “known” I had implants in my ears and other places, but confirming it now – and finding the evidence so unexpectedly weird, with multiple iterations of the technology all in one ear – has really shocked me.
And I haven’t even had time to tell you about the second major microwave attack I felt two nights ago….
Ear Implants Serious Trouble
Hi Friends,
I’m sorry it’s been so long since I’ve posted. As you might surmise, I’ve been dealing with some challenges.
The latest is my ears – which have never in my life given me problems, but they’re a mess now, and the doctor didn’t seem interested in offering me anything but Flonase (a common sinus pharmaceutical) to reduce swelling. Not a word about the apparent blood sitting in the bottom of my ear canals or the redness.
As you can see, the pale skin turns to pink and further back it appears to be maroon. There is a pool of shiny reddish black on the bottom and reaching out into the canal – so shiny there’s a clear reflection of the otoscope LED light in every photo of both ears!
And what’s that whitish solid-looking object at the back of the pool in the first photo? I’m tempted to say it’s an implant – round, flat against the wall, more than 1/2 submerged in blood – or maybe it’s an artifact, another light reflection. What do you think?
In all the photos, there is a reflection of the otoscope light somewhere on the apparent pool of blood! Does anyone think this could be anything other than a pool of blood?
I’m probably being silly, but: Apologies for exposing the wax in my ears! They’ve been too swollen for me to do my usual Q-tip cleaning (even though doctors always say don’t do that, I’ve been doing it all my life – with a particular, careful technique – and never had a problem).
Now, I can’t clean them, and it bugs me! I hate having dirty ears, but dirty, swollen, and bloody is pretty upsetting to me.
But that’s not the most important issue.
Microwave energy
Researchers tell us that microwave energy – which is what ear implants receive and transmit – can cause cancer if exposed to it constantly. So being implanted with them will create a constant health threat – that we MK subjects can do nothing about.
I remember the health care professional who looked in my ears (after dismissing the photos I’d shown her) and then didn’t want to look for longer than a second or two and didn’t want to acknowledge there was anything strange. I imagine her seeing my ears, maybe even recognizing the implant, and knowing she’d come across a (another?) top secret subject of the government and knew there was a protocol to follow: She’d diagnose and prescribe as little as she could, and get rid of me. If I needed care, the controllers would take care of it on their own schedule. Maybe she even called a secret number.
I don’t know. That’s where my years of personal data collection, occasional online research, and reading of a half-dozen books leads me. I’m open to other interpretations. Please – I’d love your opinions.
Back Story
The first time I thought I might have been given ear implants was in November 2010. I was working hard to finish the 3-minute video for my book, and this event felt like either retribution or a warning, but I still went forward and published it – and had thousands of views, though the numbers have been running backward over the years.
As a MK subject, I know many of us are created for different purposes, and those purposes can change depending on how well our programming is holding up. Since I was working concertedly to disrupt my programming, I believe they shifted me over to other sorts of research, including being a test subject for various sorts of electronic weaponry and MK technology; therefore, I’ve experience a very wide range of electronic effects on my body.
One of the first ones I recognized and documented was that November 2010 evening. I was sitting sideways on my love seat, reading, with my feet resting against the other end of the seat, when suddenly I felt a distinct circle, about 3 1/2” across, of vibration on my foot, not uncomfortable, just odd, which then began traveling up my ankle and lower leg. Quickly, I pulled my leg toward me and my foot out of the beam’s reach, but within seconds it had found my foot again, this time closer to my body, so I jumped off the seat and stood looking at my furniture and thinking. I was sure that if I sat in any other piece of furniture, the beam would find me, and I didn’t feel like being disrupted repeatedly, ridiculously, futilely. I thought of going to a motel for the night, but I didn’t want to spend the money, and I didn’t have any confidence it would ultimately stop this from happening, either there tonight, or here tomorrow.
It made the most sense to me to accept my fate, go to bed, and let it find me there. I lay down, thinking I’d feel it on my foot, and it would be dreadful anticipating its ultimate whatever-it-was-intending-to-do. To my surprise, there was suddenly a huge circular spot of vibration, about 12 inches across, completely encompassing my head, without needing to find me, as if they’d already mapped where I usually slept. My surprise turned quickly, within the second, to the recognition that I was going unconscious.
The next morning, I woke up with my ears ringing, and they’ve never quit.
New Implant
About two years ago, after I’d lost my home (due to being terrorized out of there), I was living in a little travel trailer, standing in front of my sink, next to my bed, when I suddenly had the surprising realization that I was REALLY tired, and felt the distinct decision that I’d do something extremely rare for me – I’d take a nap – only I didn’t get to climb into bed before I simply fell on the bed and went unconscious.
Three hours later, my phone rang and woke me from such a stupor that I could barely make intelligible statements. Thank goodness it was a friend calling, one of the very few in my life who acknowledge what I’m living with, and she helped me come to terms with what had happened – and the frustration that I could barely contain the constant urge to shake my head because it felt like there was water in my left ear. The urge stayed for three days, during which time I imagined my controllers had planted an implant in my ear which was causing the sensation, or maybe they’d even punctured my ear drum to place one behind, where it would be cleverly hidden from doctor sight.
New Hum
After that, a new type of hum has been fairly constant in my left ear, leading me to want to purchase the video otoscope (less than $20 online, works with any camera app) to see if I could capture any evidence of an implant.
There are times the humming is constant and intense, and I’ve tried ear plugs, which does create a white noise that softens the effect a bit. On the worst days, I’ve tried heavy-duty layers of foil over my head, but it seems the transmission can be bounced from different angles and eventually finds a way in, and sometimes it feels like the aluminum is reflecting and multiplying it, and I throw it off.
Sometimes prayer works.
Most of the time, I just try to ignore it, and sometimes I take my own advice and try to think of this as a spiritual challenge – and then I try to find other wavelengths to which to entrain my mind, trying to disconnect from the entrainment of that particular vibration, and sometimes I feel I’ve been successful.
There have been many other events with my ears, but those are the major ones since the controllers (as I imagine it) put me on the Electromagnetic Subject list.
Again, I welcome all insights. I certainly don’t have time to do a lot of research, so if you reference anything technological, please include some source material. Thanks!!
Tinnitus, Targeting, and the Cuban Diplomats
When I heard that a number of American diplomats in Cuba (25 or more!) had been attacked with electronic warfare technology, I was slightly encouraged, that now maybe people would pay attention to those of us who’ve been suffering the same for years, and been only ignored.
A couple of weeks ago I was hit by something similar – while driving! – thankfully only for a few seconds, I assume. I posted a 4-minute video about it here: https://youtu.be/SQ-XtavMvnM.
Today I learned a medical research team has published a report on the Cuban diplomats (https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1002/lio2.231). Those with a research bent might appreciate reading it.
Here’s the introductory summary, the Abstract:
Background:
In the Autumn of 2016, diplomatic personnel residing in Havana began to present with symptoms of dizziness, ear pain, and tinnitus that emerged after perception of high frequency noise and/or a pressure sensation. Understanding the acute symptoms of this disorder is important for better defining the disorder and developing optimal diagnostic, preventive, and treatment algorithms.
Objectives:
To define the presenting symptoms in a cohort of patients in the acute time period after perceiving a noise/pressure exposure in Havana.
Design/Settings/Participants:
Review of 25 symptomatic individuals who reported a localized sensation of noise/pressure and 10 asymptomatic individuals (roommates of those affected) who did not experience the sound/pressure.
Results:
Immediately after the exposure, the majority of individuals reported intense ear pain in one or both ears and experienced tinnitus. All of the individuals noticed unsteadiness and features of cognitive impairment. On presentation to our center, dizziness (92%) and cognitive complaints (56%) were the most common symptoms. Formal testing revealed that 100% of individuals had an otolithic abnormality and evidence of cognitive dysfunction.
Conclusion and Relevance:
This study focuses on the acute presentation of a phenomenon in which symptoms emerge after perception of a localized noise/pressure and in which the acute symptomology includes the universal nature of vestibular injuries and select cognitive deficits. The findings presented in this acute group of patients begin to provide a better picture of the initial injury pattern seen after this exposure and may allow for more accurate diagnosis of this disorder in future cases.
Thanks for reading, liking, sharing ~ all that. Peace.
Great Podcast: “In the Dark”
Podcasts let us listen on our phone while washing dishes, walking to the mailbox, driving to town. Or we can sit on our sofa – away from the computer – lights off, eyes closed, a fine radio production washing over.
“In the Dark” is a quality production worth this attention. I’m grateful those radio professionals are in the world today. Each episode makes me hungry for the next. And it’s all true investigative journalism, told well.
The series exposes suspiciously negligent police work – something some of us need to be reminded happens sometimes.
Season 2 takes on another case, and I’m in the midst of bingeing through the second season now.
It’s satisfying to hear an example of this widespread horror exposed.
Aspie, Mind Control Subject, and Multiple Personality – in Healing
What does it mean to be Aspie? Someone with Asperger’s Syndrome.
I’m an Aspie. And I’m so much a happier person now that I know why I’m different, and that my difference is something I can enjoy for all it’s good aspects and not worry about the so-called negative aspects. It’s like – Why should the Mesquite be anxious that she’s not as tall as the Sequoia? She has her own work to do, sending down roots 100’ into the ground and sharing it with her habitat mates.
How do we become Aspie? Pick your choice: 1) heredity, 2) lack of childhood nurturing, 3) alien injection of Spock-like DNA into our genetic pool to make us more rational, less emotional (read violent), all the above, none of the above and in fact it’s because [fill in the blank].
My Aspie-ness came as a result of childhood trauma, a side-effect of having been made a mind control subject, MKULTRA-like, some collaboration with the Mormon Church and our government. I was made a multiple, which is the foundation upon which mind control is implanted, and I created a few of my own alters, something common in the research, which allowed me to tolerate some intolerable situation in the moment and left me with more parts inside me that had to be organized into the fold, to learn to cooperate and act “normal.” Pretty much, I succeeded.
It seems that no matter what I need to do, I have a part inside who the whole of me agrees is the best to execute it, and somehow I win awards in almost everything I’ve tried, excepting a few memorable failures. I’ve won awards or other national recognitions in: art, writing, journalism, real estate, fundraising, and videography. in a sense I’m what they call a “high-functioning multiple personality” – but not all the time. There’s all those alters created by our government – to do what, I don’t know.
I’ll pause here to let you consider that.
I don’t want to tell you what I think that could mean.
I just want you to know that, despite everything done to me, I’m a person of integrity. But I really don’t know about the parts created in those experiments – for which I’m almost totally amnesic.
I used to be extremely distressed about this, to the point that I thought of suicide daily for a year and a half. Over the years, my philosopher part has developed many reasons to stay here on Earth, despite all. I believe I was born into this exact situation for a purpose, and even if I don’t understand it now, I should stay and try to understand. If I want to refuse that command, I’m threatened with the New Age folklore that I’ll have to come back and live this life again, which I don’t want to do, and so I reason, I made it this far; it’s won’t be much longer, and besides I’ve already had a few heart attacks. I don’t think I’ll live that long.
As long as I’m here (or anywhere), I want to be of service. I figure the best revenge against the experimenters who messed with me is to live a good life anyway. So, here I am in Sunsites, Arizona, retired, volunteering here and there, and taking care of my affairs so that when I die my kids don’t have too much of a mess.
If I end up living long, well, then I’ll assume I have things to do, and I’ll be praying to follow heavenly direction.
As an Aspie, I can’t take on too much social interaction. I might have the mental ability to contribute significantly to any number of problems, but I don’t have the foundation for too much social interaction. I think for most of my life, I’ve tried to push past my limits, trying to become more “normal,” and suffered a great deal of unnecessary stress. It might have been better for me to have continued spending a majority of my time alone. I would have been happier, and I might have contributed more to the world. But the world wanted me “normal” instead.
I’m enjoying my differences now. And as I sort through my possessions, I’m putting together my awards and favorite publications and accomplishments. And feeling I’ve lived a good life despite all. I sometimes wonder if my mind controllers think they might get some credit for their work. I don’t know what I think about that. Most of the time I feel like someone whose life has been highjacked – and there’s nothing I can do about it, so I might as well keep quiet and see what else I might learn or how else I might grow in regards to this. And continue to live a good life.
My Aspie nature means I have a good mind and am very good at complicated puzzles. I design businesses in my mind for fun. Have designed a half-dozen homes. I design clothes. I create. I love my life, sometimes. When my health is good and I am caught up with the basic requirements of life, I love to putter around in my home, creating art or gardening. It’s only when the weird stuff happens that I want away.
The weird stuff first increased against me late in 2011, and it has only accelerated since then (excepting this current month, a later story). Suddenly weird stuff seemed constant: I was hit by beams in my house, sometimes making my ears ring, other times vibrating me, or creating tones, sometimes putting me to sleep and sometimes waking me up; waking with “scoop marks” and Taser burns, and also waking totally disabled, unable to walk or control my bladder. I had just produced a video about being made a mind control subject, and I assumed this was my controllers punishing me, for which I was intent to ignore them. “Land of Free Speech,” I thought.
When I published a blog about this new treatment, someone called me a Targeted Individual, which I’d never heard of. I learned about it when my blog received a sudden spike in views from a site called TargetedIndividuals101. I had no idea that thousands of people around the nation were also being subjected to beams, ear-ringing, and more, and many were whistleblowers like me, though not all.
Over the years, I’ve wondered whether the mind controllers were doing their own punishment or if they contracted that out to another organization, Recently I learned from a former FBI agent who has gone on public record that the things done to Targeted Individuals comprise a project in the files of the FBI and NSA.
It was a shock to realize somebody put me on the Targeted list, as it goes so against my lifelong assumptions about living in the Land of the Free, but I’ve come to accept it; the hardest part now is accepting that so many other people still might blindly accept that I’m a bad person because someone said so – because someone else told them so, and really it’s because I told the truth about something that should be stopped, and that caused someone to lose money.
But I still want to live a good life, contributing to my community, but also getting the time alone I need (letting all my parts consolidate the meaning of each day, helping inner children understand, refining cooperation between my parts, etc), enjoying nature, getting exercise, and hopefully helping my parts heal. And continuing to pray for the dismantling of any alters that might have programming to do bad things – that’s what the research suggests is going on: creating spies, soldiers, assassins, and sex workers. And, to tell the truth, I’ve had some strange experiences that incline me to believe they’re proof I’ve been trained in a few of those skills (another story).
But I still want to have a good life. And goodness implies integrity. So, as much as I’d love to keep all this craziness a secret, I’ve decided I owe it to my community the fact that I’m a mind controlled subject, and I might have alters who do things at night when I’m unconscious, and hopefully not during the day, but I don’t know. And by telling you now, I feel I’ve only begun to exercise my duty to disclose what I know.
What I know about our government’s interest in mind control should also be of great value to everyone. I’ve written a well-regarded book about my experiences, recorded videos and audios, collected documentation, and I’m open to answering questions. I hope people will want to avail themselves of my resources while I’m still here.
Grace Christian’s testimony
Here is an excellent article, written by a medical intuitive about her targeting:
The following article comes from L. Grace Christian (www.GraceMedicalIntuitive.com), a medical intuitive and ‘targeted individual’ I have interviewed and been in regular communication with since the publication of my article, “US Government Accidentally Releases Electromagnetic Mind Control Documents In FOIA Request.” I [Richard Enos, orginal post] have edited the information she has provided but in essence these are her words, representing her struggles and triumphs in dealing with the devastating effects of ‘gangstalking’ and directed energy weapons.
First, I want to acknowledge and honor all the individuals enduring the ongoing torture of being a ‘targeted individual,’ especially those who have experienced it for many years.
Awareness about ‘targeted individuals’ is still in its nascent stage. A growing number of people such as myself report having both been stalked and harassed by others, and subjected to satellite-based directed energy weapons that penetrate the mind to simulate sounds and conversations. Yet such claims continue to evoke skepticism on the part of the general public, with victims often being seen as paranoid schizophrenics.
I write this not only to bring awareness and credibility to the claims of targeted individuals, but also to offer my insight into the strategy I have adopted to mitigate this ongoing invasion into my life.
Why Was I Targeted?
It seems as though individuals are targeted because some powerful force like the Deep State wants to disrupt the ability those individuals may have to disclose information or otherwise influence people in ways that expose or impede Deep State agendas. While this may not be true of all targeted individuals, I can point to several reasons why I might have been targeted by those who feared what I may know. After all, just before the torture I have endured over the past 15 years started,
- I had just taken a part-time consulting job with 2 men formerly in Jimmy Carter’s White House Administration
- I had a Palm Pilot (yes, no smart phones then) that had just been loaded with Pres. Jimmy Carter’s cell phone number, multiple U.S. Senators’ and Congressmen’s numbers, and national lobbyists numbers
- I was one of the first people to sign a petition to prevent the Patriot Act from passing
- I had been helping women who were escaping Satanic Cult families
- I was an intuitive who could see inside the human body
- I had a growing number of followers
My Experiences As A Targeted Individual
My experiences as a targeted individual are far too numerous to list, but I will cite a few examples here to give people a better idea of the nature of the experience.
Stalked inside stores/malls. November 19, 2017: I was in the Ross Store at 95-221 Kipapa Dr, Mililani, HI 96789, and I experienced no less than 5 employees following me in the store, and coming right up to me and saying “Hello” right in my face and three of them deliberately bumped into me. This started as soon as I entered the store and continued until I left the store. April 6, 2018: I was shopping in a Longs Drugs (CVS) at 4211 Waialae Ave., Honolulu, HI when two employees started followed me just at the end of the aisle I was in or on the next aisle over and were shouting back and forth to each other about shoplifters in the store and that ‘this one was one of the bad ones.’ April 26, 2018: While I was in the Kahala Mall in Honolulu between 12:30 and 1:30pm, I was followed by two security guards, a male and a female. The male kept staring at me throughout the entire time they were stalking me. At, 1:14pm, while I was seated in a common area of the mall, I finally took out my cell phone and took a video of them walking around me and him staring again and again.
Followed by black helicopters. Several times I would be driving in traffic and a black helicopter came right on top of me, hovering as I stopped at a traffic light, moving with me as I moved down the road, even waiting as I went in and out of a building.
Had my apartment broken into. In the early days of experiencing this, while I lived in the Hillsborough Apts. in Mission, KS, the service and grounds men would arrive on their golf cart to my apartment each and every time I would leave my door. They would be walking toward the front door of my apartment as I was pulling out. Sometimes I would wait to see where they were going and they would always stop and stand to the side of my door or at my neighbor’s door until I left. When I would get back, there would always be the smell of cigarette smoke in my apartment as one of the men smoked. Once, after I installed an alarm in my apartment, the staff broke into my apartment and then had the office staff call me on my cell phone saying that there was a flood in the apt above mine and they needed to stop damage in my apt. so they entered without my permission. They wanted me to give them the code to turn off the alarm as it was too loud. I refused to do so and headed back immediately from about 10 minutes away. When I got there, they were gone and the alarm had stopped. Often, I would find small things missing from my apartment—such as small semi precious stones, books, and decorative items.
These experiences reflect a phenomenon called ‘Organized Gang Stalking’. Individually, these experiences could be written off as incidental. But the persistence and sinister quality of these experiences has left no doubt in my mind that powerful forces are systematically trying to destabilize me and cause me to live in a constant state of fear and anxiety. Here’s information from a group called Organized Stalking Informers:
Organized Gang Stalking is a hate crime erected in a system. Different individuals are used and manipulated in order to produce a specific action. But all those involved are not necessarily aware that they are being manipulated. In fact, most are not aware of the lies that are actually the base of the Organized Gang Stalking, everything is done to ostracize and destroy targeted individual victims.
To do this, the perpetrators use several techniques for manipulating individuals and public opinion. Due to false evidence to support their lies, innocent targeted individual Victims are perceived as outcasts of society.
Have you been approached by someone who has asked you to not associate with a certain individual whom they quietly pointed out to you? Warned you about an alleged criminal past or deviant activity and predisposition of the individual?
Perpetrators of Gang Stalking recruit and manipulate any number of other unsuspecting citizens to assist them in targeting a lone, unsuspecting individual, in an overall ceaseless effort of directed psychological torture.
If you have been asked to “do good” for the community, realize instead that there is a high possibility you been deceived and sucked into a cult-like group from where only illegal activity affecting innocent people results. You have basically been lied to about the target and whatever atrocity they’ve been falsely accused of, such is the power of suggestion.
Gang Stalking is used to paint the target (individual) in a criminal light through the spreading of vicious rumors, with common fake allegations being that the target is a wife beater, an abuser, a child molester (this is a favorite used against women too and not only men), a prostitute, drug-user, a racist, an impostor at their place of worship, is mentally unstable, acts weird, or is a thief.
Directed Energy Weapons
However, of all the devices and methods I’ve experienced as a targeted individual, directed energy weapons are the most horrific and jarring. It is like someone raping your mind—and no one believes you. No one else can hear the noises or voices being beamed inside your head.
We each have a unique brainwave frequency. With directed energy weapons technology, your brainwaves are locked onto and a frequency is beamed to your skull by way of satellite. Somewhere in the world, someone is sitting at a laptop controlling a satellite that sends certain frequencies to your skull. These frequencies are heard by you inside your head–but, by no one else. This frequency can be a voice speaking to you, noises that are very loud and sudden, or anything that may cause you anxiety. They can also cause you to go unconscious, as has happened to me a few times.
As a medical intuitive, I’ve come into contact with other targeted individuals. One of my clients was a single woman who was gang-raped while in the military, and after reporting the offense through the proper channels, her torture began. Directed energy weapons were used on her and organized terrorism followed.
The following are my personal experiences of directed energy weapons:
I first began to notice the effects of these weapons when I lived in the Hillsborough Apts., in Mission, KS in 2004. I would hear what sounded like someone walking around in the apartment above me following me everywhere I went in my apartment. It sounded like soft footsteps on the carpet in the apt above me. It freaked me out and caused me to feel unsafe in my own home. When I told one of my friends, an older man known in the Kansas City community as Red Crow, he could not understand it and did not believe me. Later, after listening to Dr. John Hall on Coast to Coast, I understood that this was something that was regularly done with this technology. There was nobody above me actually walking on the floor; this noise was being simulated in my head by some outside force. This noise continued the entire time I lived there until I moved out a year later.
Another memorable example of experiencing this was when I was staying at my Mother’s home in Farmington, MO in late 2010 and early 2011. I would hear loud clicking and banging noises in my head during the middle of the night. Sometimes the sound was like someone clicking a retractable ink pen on and off, over and over, and at other times it sounded like constant banging on a table with a device. At times, I could hear muffled voices in the background. I did mention these experiences and others like them to my mom, but she refused to believe me. This was so common an occurrence that I practically gave up sharing my experiences with people.
Impact of the Attacks
As a direct result of these experiences, and my various attempts to deal with them, including sharing my experiences with others who I thought I could trust, I have been rejected by my family, rejected by friends, clients have been frightened away, and I have been brought to financial ruin.
I spent many years trying to understand what was happening. I did some research. The idea that some individuals are targeted to be used as lab rats to experiment with this technology resonated with the arbitrariness of some of my experiences.
I was able to get together with people who were experiencing the same thing. While listening to everyone else’s personal stories brought a bit more clarity, and confirmed what I already knew intuitively—that I wasn’t just imagining things—a lasting solution did not come from this collaboration. In fact, I felt more powerless and victimized than ever.
My Turning Point
In leaving the group, I realized that I would have to look for the solution within myself. This was a daunting task, but it helped that I had been practicing meditation for over 20 years and had a fairly clear sense of myself.
Through my spiritual understanding and my work as a Medical Intuitive, I believe that my soul chose this experience. And the more I thought about that, the more I realized that if my soul chose this experience, then I must have also believed that I had the ability to transmute it as well.
That knowledge led to my turning point.
I decided to do whatever I could to empower myself, to come to a place of transmuting this experience of torture and isolation.
First, I had to find a way to raise my frequency—in spite of the torture I was experiencing. I had listened to Gregg Braden’s Beyond Zero Point where he recounts a passage from the Dead Sea Scrolls, teaching us that during our deepest, darkest hours, we would come to know our greatest strength by reaching deep down inside ourselves to access what previously we did not know was there.
I held onto that possibility like a life raft.
I began forcing myself to raise my own frequency by using the teachings of Neville, the great mystic, that ‘feeling is the secret.’ I would cause myself to experience the feeling of being ‘overjoyed.’ Crazy, right?
Generating Joy
This is obviously but one way of raising internal vibration, and each person will have to find a way that works for them. What I did was focus on a feeling—a feeling of being ‘overjoyed’—the way I would feel if all of these wonderful things were happening to me. It is very hard to focus on this type of experience while also being targeted, but each of us has the capacity to do it. I start to imagine that right here and now, where I am in the moment, I have just received the most incredible news that brings me freedom and extreme happiness. I start to just allow myself to feel the way I would feel if I were completely overjoyed that “all of these wonderful things are happening to me now!” I do not let myself try to figure out HOW this could be – I just imagine that indeed all of these wonderful things are happening to me NOW! I got this idea from one of Neville’s books called “The Law and The Promise” in the chapter entitled Moods.
At first, it was so difficult to generate joy for myself. I had experienced torture, isolation, and poverty for so long, and to such extremes, that I could not remember what joy felt like. When I could finally cause myself to bring it forth, I could only maintain it for a couple of seconds. Still, I practiced from time-to-time throughout the day. Slowly, I began to hold the frequency for longer and longer periods.
Eventually, I could feel the feeling of being ‘overjoyed’ wash over me in waves – for up to a minute at a time. At this point, I began to experience the effects of the direct energy weapons less and less.
(editor’s note: it has been stated by whistleblower/scientific genius Pete Peterson in disclosures to researcher David Wilcock that ‘if your brainwaves were reliably operating above a certain speed, or frequency, <these weapons> won’t work on you. This again underlines the extreme importance of remaining calm, free of negative emotions, meditative and peaceful. This causes your brainwaves to smooth out on the EKG, which actually generates a higher frequency.’)
Manifesting From The Heart
Secondly, I discovered the importance of learning to manifest from the heart space instead of the head. I was shown this through my clients, but it was brought home through the book “Living In The Heart” by Drunvalo Melchizedek.
Our heart has its own field with an energy of Oneness or Unity—unlike the polarity that exists in the field in and around the rest of our being. In the space of oneness—the sacred space of the heart—we can manifest a different reality for ourselves. When we manifest in our mind, we are creating in “polarity” so we create what we desire and also the opposite of what we desire. When we move our awareness inside our heart space to pray or meditate, we are manifesting in pure love, and only what we desire is created.
Targeted Individuals Unite
If targeted individuals can raise their frequency even for a few minutes each day, I feel we can turn the tide on the power and secrecy of this, and bring it out to the world to be exposed, eliminated, and healed.
I believe there is a reason that so many tens of thousands of people from all over the world are experiencing this. That reason may be two-fold. First, if only a few people were to bring this up, they may be dismissed as being crazy, but if tens of thousands from around the world were to all describe the same thing, then it cannot be ignored or dismissed. So, there had to be many, many of us who would agree to experience this and speak our truth. Secondly, I feel those of us who are going through this have a greater power to transmute this by moving our frequency out of fear and into joy. When tens of thousands of people all shift their frequency to that degree, the entire population will be affected.
If you are a Targeted Individual, let’s all come together, not to commiserate our victimhood, but to take back our power and have a positive impact. The hardest thing you will ever do may be to consistently raise your frequency out of fear and into a place of love and appreciation; but this is what we MUST do to transmute this experience for ourselves and for humanity. I believe each of our souls chose this experience for us to turn the tide.
US Info on Targeting
I have not researched this myself, but merely copied from “Citizens Against Harmful Technology,” but it seems to contain an extensive summary of basic information on this subject, including information from the US Congressional Office of Technology Assessment, with patent numbers and actions taken by Congress to try to protect subjects.
| Categories of Surveillance/Harassment Technologies |
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(Source – US Congress Office of Technology Assessment)
Electronic Eavesdropping Technology – (Audio Surveillance)
• Radiating devices & receivers (e.g. miniature radio & ultrasonic transmitters)
• Non-radiating devices (eg wired surveillance systems including phone taps and concealed microphones)
• Tape recorders
• Laser-facilitated listening devices, rifle mikes and other “remote ” equipment (incl. satellites)
N.B. Even phones can be made “hot on the hook” i.e. turned into microphones when not in use. Optical/Imaging Technology – (Visual Surveillance)
• Photographic techniques (incl. zoom lens and infra red cameras)
• Television (e.g. closed circuit) • Night vision devices (e.g. image intensifiers) • Satellite based viewing (up to and including the monitoring of writings as they are written; indoors) • Aircraft facilitated viewing Computers & Related Technologies – (Data Surveillance)
• Microcomputers – decentralization of machines and distributed processing
• Computer networks • Software (eg. expert systems) • Pattern recognition systems • Voice Activated & thought activated computers (incl. “remote” equipment)
The NSA covertly monitors every call, fax, e-mail, telex and computer data message. The relevant computers search for key words/phrases. Anything/anyone of interest is drawn to the attention of agency operatives. This can lead to a large scale personal surveillance operation by the NSA or other agencies; like the CIA and their criminal connections. The current system is called ECHELON.
Sensor Technology
• Magnetic sensors
• Seismic sensors • Infra red sensors • Strain sensors • Electromagnetic sensors (incl. brain wave sensors) Other Devices and Technologies
• CB radios
• Vehicle location systems (incl. satellite tracking) • Machine readable magnetic strips • Polygraphs • Voice stress analyzers • Laser interception devices • Cellular radio • Anti personnel weapons – sonic and phasar weapons as well as psychotronic weapons; which target the nervous system. (These have been trialed in riot control in France etc) • Scalar wave weapons – (scalar waves emanate naturally from living organisms and the earth itself). • Infrasound weapons – inducing various forms of illness from remote sources (Also used on dissidents in France) • Neurophones and similar (more advanced) technologies – Satellite or ground based. These can deliver aural harassment via microwaves or lasers aimed at the target. Visual harassment laser systems. These deliver blurred vision, holographs and so on to disorientate the target and/or experiment; victims’ reactions being monitored to study how best to “control” targets. • Brain wave monitors/analyzers (remote sensing). These newer technologies actually allow the target’s thoughts to be interpreted. • “Over the horizon” technologies – These facilitate ground-based methods of harassment (eg The Alaskan HAARP project which bounces signals off the ionosphere). • The NSA’s Echelon and Prism systems, which are now in the public domain thanks to whistleblowers, monitor ALL telecommunications worldwide. Programmed phrases / words are highlighted and those drawing the attention of the computers monitoring are then targeted by operatives using other technologies. The principle targets are not terrorists or criminals but rather opponents of those powerful criminals who are protected by this very system. National Security claims are a bogus excuse for establishing such systems then misusing them in secret. N.B. There are literally hundreds of ways of tracking the earth’s inhabitants which are available to corrupt agency officials and their criminal contacts (e.g. the mafia). The last seven are examples of devices used to covertly menace political targets who do not have a public profile. Most can be satellite based and anyone can be targeted provided they have neither influence nor contacts in public life. Government secrecy provisions help to prevent public disclosures regarding these technologies. However, there is more than an element of corruption / complicity evident amongst politicians, journalists and other public figures who are aware of what goes on. Others are afraid to interfere. Further Information
It is evident that countless people (world wide) have already lodged complaints about the following technologies. They are available to government agencies, defense contractors and “organized” crime figures.
• The Neurophone
US Patent # 3,393,279. July 16th, 1968, US Patent # 3,647,970. March 7th, 1972
Although the offered explanations for “Hearing Voices” can include everything from trickery to hidden transmitters to tinnitus to psychic/haunting experiences to possession or encounters with God/aliens (to so – called schizophrenic episodes) by far the most common REAL reason is covert Neurophone harassment as arranged by government agencies and/or other criminals.
The Neurophone was developed by Dr Patrick Flanagan in 1958. It’s a device that converts sound to electrical impulses. In its original form electrodes were placed on the skin but with defence department developments, the signals can be delivered via satellite. They then travel the nervous system directly to the brain (bypassing normal hearing mechanisms). Dr Flanagan’s “3D holographic sound system” can place sounds in any location as perceived by the targeted / tortured listener. This allows for a variety of deceptions for gullible victims.
Today, the CIA, DIA (etc) use satellites and ground based equipment to deliver verbal threats, deafening noise and propaganda using neurophone technology. Anything from TV’s/radio’s appearing to operate when switched off through to “Voices from God” and encounters with “telepathic” aliens are all cons using neurophone technologies to torment, deceive and (most importantly) discredit agency/criminal targets. Naturally, the system can mimic anyone’s voice and automatic computer translations (into any language) are incorporated.
Anecdotal evidence indicates that people like David Koresh, Martin Bryant and others could have been programmed then remotely triggered (or tricked) using harassment technologies like the neurophone. (Although most of the targets are intelligent and law-abiding). For example, Mark Chapman, reportedly heard voices before and after killing John Lennon. “God” apparently told him to confess verbally.
To explain why others physically moving into the path of the laser (or whatever) do not pick up the signals, please note the following possibilities:
a) Kirlian photography may be an ancillary system so it’s attuned to the targets personal energy field (their unique EM waves).
b) The magnetite in our brains can act as a detectable fingerprint. c) Equally each of us has a unique bioelectrical resonance frequency in our brains. EMF Brain stimulation may be encoded so that pulsating EM signals sent to the targets brain cause audio-visual effects which only the target experiences. This, to me, is the best explanation. d) The individuals “vibrational pattern” could be used as a signal filter like a radio receiving only the sound modulating the frequency of the station it’s tuned to. e) The monitors simply adjust the volume downwards when you’re in a position where the signal could hit someone else’s body. Even if they heard it (briefly) they’d attribute it to another voice in the crowd etc.
As with the final proof, the definitive answer lies in the actual blueprints; secreted in the bowels of the Pentagon or some similar facility. Nonetheless, there is no report of ANY intercepted neurophone signals. If it wasn’t so effective it would not have been used to facilitate silent communications between U.S. government agents/military personnel.
• Psycho-Acoustic Projector, U.S. patent #3,566,347, (23/2/71)
A device/weapon which can actually deafen the target.
• Silent Subliminal Messages, US Patent # 5,159,703. October 27th, 1992
Inventor – Dr Oliver M. Lowery
Non aural carriers in extreme audio frequency ranges are amplified or modulated with the desired material and propagated acoustically for direct inducement into the brain. This is an excellent method of influencing people without their knowledge. An alert reader would recognise how this could create coincidences and stir up conflict; especially if what’s fed to one person corresponds with what’s gathered (via surveillance) from another. It can also help to create coincidences of the sort the media creates (through surveillance feedback) only in reverse, where the subjects are fed information prior to the event (eg. a news story) and coerced into believing they are psychic.
Patented devices known to facilitate subliminal message delivery are too numerous to list. However, examples include:
N.B Sound can also be induced by radiating the head with microwaves. One unpublished application was the Gulf War but, more times than not, the targets are mostly innocent/oppressed civilians trying to exercise their basic rights to free speech in so-called western democracies.
• Methods and Systems of Altering Consciousness
US Patent # 5,123,844. June 23rd, 1992 US Patent # 5,289,438. February 22nd, 1994
These systems stimulate the brain with different frequencies and wave forms to alter the subject’s state of consciousness.
Electro Magnetic Field (EMF) monitoring/interference is one of the most insidious and secretive of all methods used by the agencies.
N.B. Similarly, EEG cloning feeds back the results of EMF monitoring in an attempt to induce emotional responses (e.g. fear, anger, even sleep etc.).
This could possibly work on certain members of a crowd or audience….again this could facilitate scams etc.
Dr Ross Adey concludes that all aspects of human behavior can be affected, even controlled. He used 0.75 milliwatts per square centimeter of pulsed, modulated microwave at a frequency of 450 MHz.
Notably the Alaskan HAARP project (featuring the B.J.Eastland patented technology – U.S. patent #4,686,605, 11/4/87 – “Method and Apparatus for altering a region in the Earth’s atmosphere, ionosphere or magnetosphere” and others also facilitates experiments in the disruption of human mental processes. It’s the largest, most versatile radio frequency radiation transmitter in the world also allowing experimentation in weather “modification”, wireless, electrical power beaming and communications “disruption”. Its systems like this which could one day see attempts made to brainwash/control entire populations. And that is just as feasible as a wholesale nuclear holocaust.
• Microwave Weapons
Twenty years ago a scientist, Allan Frey, found that if a microwave carrier were to be sliced and carried audio modulation, that modulation could be heard by someone in the signals path. The thin pulses of radio carrier wave cause currents to flow through the nervous system – the result is a remote transmission; no wires or contact is needed. “A hearing system” U.S. patent #4,877,027, 31/10/89. Wayne Brunker. “A hearing device” U.S. patent #4,858,612, 22/8/89. Philip L.Stocklin. The latter involves microwaves aimed at the auditory cortex. A mike turns the sounds to electrical signals which are treated so as to provide multi frequency microwaves which are applied to the brain area. Whatever sound the mike picks up (like a voice) is relayed to the target.
The first known experiment with microwaved voices was conducted by Sharp and Grove in the early 70’s. However, the Defense Intelligence Agency and the Advanced Research Projects Agency are principally to blame for the abuse of such technologies since. (Project Pandora). The CIA’s Langley Research Center as well as an army of “mad” scientists working in Energy/Defense department labs across the U.S. are also responsible. As with the NASA Apollo program, many of those originally involved were ex Nazi or Russian Cold war scientists (even WWII Japanese) recruited, regardless of their earlier crimes, to commit more crimes, this time for the U.S.A.
It’s worth noting the reported experiments carried out in bygone days included The MKULTRA (mind control)/LSD experiments, germ and nuclear fallout testing (on military and civilian personnel), electro-shock treatment on institutional victims and so on. The U.S. Energy and Justice departments are now involved in such programs so the U.S. can escape violation of international defense/agency treaties. That’s also why the “D” for “defense” was dropped from DARPA.
In any event, once a technology is labelled “Top secret-classified” they can use it any way they like on anyone. God Bless America.
• Brain Wave Monitors / Analyzers
Lawrence Pinneo, a neurophysiologist and electronic engineer working for Stanford Research Institute (a military contractor) is the first “known” pioneer in this field. In 1974 he developed a computer system which correlated brain waves on an electroencephalograph with specific commands. In the early 1990s, Dr Edward Taub reported that words could be communicated onto a screen using the thought-activated movements of a computer cursor. (Currently under secrecy provisions; “Classified”) In 1994, the brain wave patterns of 40 subjects were officially correlated with both spoken words and silent thought. This was achieved by a neurophysiologist, Dr Donald York, and a speech pathologist, Dr Thomas Jensen, from the University of Missouri. They clearly identified 27 words / syllables in specific brain wave patterns and produced a computer program with a brain wave vocabulary. It does not take much thinking to realize that the US agencies have access to a perfected version of this technology. In fact the relevant computers have a vocabulary in excess of 60,000 words and cover most languages. In fact, the NSA’s signals intelligence monitor the brainwaves of their targets by satellite and decode the evoked potentials (3.50Hz 5 milliwatts) that the brain emits. So, using lasers / satellites and high-powered computers the agencies have now gained the ability to decipher human thoughts – and from a considerable distance (instantaneously).
• How is it done?
The magnetic field around the head, the brain waves of an individual can be monitored by satellite. The transmitter is therefore the brain itself just as body heat is used for “Iris” satellite tracking (infrared) or mobile phones or bugs can be tracked as “transmitters”. In the case of brain wave monitoring the results are then fed back to the relevant computers. Monitors then use the information to conduct a “conversation” where audible neurophone input is “applied” to the victim.
Human thought operates at 5,000 bits/sec but satellites and various forms of biotelemetry can deliver those thoughts to supercomputers in Maryland, U.S.A, Israel, etc which have a speed of over 300 trillion bits/sec which means just one (Blue Gene) supercomputer can process more information than ten times the entire world’s population. These, even today, monitor millions of people simultaneously. Eventually they will monitor almost everyone, worse than any Orwellian “Big Brother” nightmare you could possibly imagine, only it will be a reality. Yet our world leaders, who know this, do nothing.
NB Whilst the live/human comments are individualistic and unrelated to the victims own thought processes oftentimes the artificial intelligence involved will parrot standard phrases. These are triggered by your thoughts while the human monitors remain silent or absent.
To comprehend how terrible such a thorough invasion of privacy can be – imagine being quizzed on your past as you lie in bed. You eventually fall off to sleep, having personal or “induced” dreams, only to wake to the monitors commenting / ridiculing your subconscious thoughts (dreams).
If the ability to “brain scan” individuals expands from the million or so currently under scrutiny to include ALL inhabitants of the planet (as per the Echelon surveillance system which already monitors ALL private/commercial telecommunications) then no-one will ever be able to even think about expressing an opinion contrary to those forced on us by the New World Order. There will literally be no intellectual property that cannot be stolen, no writing that cannot be censored, no thought that cannot be suppressed (by the most oppressive/invasive means).
Conclusion
The combined use of these technologies enables remote torture and interrogation. (Memories are triggered by neurophone questioning and the brain wave analyzers deliver the answers). Any nebulous arguments about US national security and the need for classified research on human subjects speak for themselves. (The writer has a copy of a White House internal memo, signed by Bill Clinton on these matters).
Remember that in the past CIA mind control experiments have involved LSD as well as electro-shock treatment. The MK Ultra (Mind Control) program itself is infamous as are the instances where implants have been detected by X-Ray etc. Also there are those experimented on under the the cover of ‘Alien visits’. Today, Neurophone and mind reading technologies are at the forefront of similar programs. In many ways these new technologies are an even more sinister means of conducting illegal human experiments.
Colonel John Alexander, advising head of NATO’S non-lethal weapon initiative, is the main proponent of these technologies. He favors all manner of devices which can, from a distance, induce illnesses, read minds and covertly harass innocent targets. If he could he would implant a microchip in each newborn child and initiate a mind control program designed to brainwash the entire planet or at least those not fully in tune with their New World Order. Even to entertain such a thought is criminally insane yet he has said such things in public. In fact Scientific American magazine and the major Scandinavian newspaper, Helsingen Sanomat, have suggested all people will be implanted with a DNA microchip in the future. E.g Prince William has already been implanted (for “location” purposes?) while some U.S Military/Agency personnel, including NASA astronauts, have been implanted so as to study their thoughts/emotions etc. Think of the possibilities for robotics and cloning in the future.
Remember, these technologies (developed for times of war / terrorism) are (post cold war) being used today on lobbyists, intellectual dissenters and peaceful activists; to discredit and silence them. (So much for democracy.) Notably different methods are often used on different victims within a certain area (city) so as to avoid providing a pattern for investigators to observe. This also provides a cross section of political targets for their experimental programs.
It is also noteworthy that some of the victims are ex-agency / military personnel who have rebelled or tried to blow the whistle on corrupt practices within these organizations. Some of these report that not only have the thoughts and emotions of millions of targets been catalogued by military/intelligence agencies but all such agencies have political/mafia/media links due to both infiltration and association. Many of the actual monitors/harassers are also recruited from the worst possible sources.
These people also report that experiments in controlling voters by these remote methods were tried in Haiti, Bosnia etc AND that in 1994, the U.S D.O.D proposed using such technology on all individuals opposing their views(and competitors etc). The DIA would know.
N.B. These technologies are invariably used in conjunction with satellite (audio / visual) surveillance; creating the effect of an electronic POW concentration camp. Mental rape is only one of the many crimes committed in this mobile environment. E.g scientists, writers, political/military leaders etc can have their intellectual property stolen at the source. Without doubt the computers store and analyze the intelligence gathered by surveillance/harassment technologies. Their vast memories allow detailed studies of how the human mind works so as to learn how to influence and/or control people. Duplicating these processes for robotics and other artificial intelligence purposes is another sinister goal.
The US and other world governments are guilty of fostering gross human rights abuses by using these methods. Their covert operators can now do their worst without fear of detection. The cost is justified by the control gained and the experimental results achieved. Of course, (as with the space program and military expenditures in general) the funds used could be better spent solving real problems like hunger, disease, poverty and crime.
Recommendations
• Agencies such as the CIA, ASIS and ASIO should be accountable to appropriately selected committees etc.
• Military units, like Australia’s DSD and the U.S. DIA, should not have the right to access satellite (or other) technologies to spy on or harass law-abiding citizens; especially in their own country. Equally they should not assist foreign governments with ‘Big Brother’ systems like Echelon, except where assisting with law enforcement activities (which they do not). • Federal Police should be able to access oscillating scanners and EEG machines like SQUID (Superconductor Quantum Interface Detector) through the defense department or appropriate facilities. These can detect the relevant frequencies and this provides proof. • There needs to be a United Nations Satellite Committee to oversee developments in satellite technology from a humanitarian perspective. • UN weapons inspectors should include non-lethal weapons and satellite weaponry on their checklists. • The International Criminal Court should deny veto rights to the US government. The threat of class actions against US government departments may then lead to the end of these atrocities.
WHAT’S BEING DONE ABOUT IT
(i) Pres. Bill Clinton issued a memo and an Admin’ order of governmental Federal Policy change but it was not implemented before he left office. It related to “Strengthened protection for human subjects of classified research”, 27th March, 1997. (May 13th, 1997….Federal register). His wife, Hillary Clinton, later as US Secretary of State (responsible for the agencies), made no further attempt to stop the atrocities in question.
(ii) Senator John Glen introduced the “Human research subject protection act” (s.193, 105th congress, Jan 22, 1997). As an ex astronaut he knew full well how necessary this was but the bill was not passed.
(iii) The European Parliament recently passed resolutions calling for a world convention to ban all weapons used for human experimentation/manipulation. (see Resolution on the environment security and foreign policy A4 – 0005/99, Jan 28th, 1999.EP1159). The European Parliament also called for a convention introducing a global ban on any weaponry enabling manipulation of human beings. The International Committee of the Red Cross also expressed its concerns in July ’94.
(iv) UNIDIR (The United Nations Institute for Disarmament Research) has issued a media guide to disarmament esp. re weapons of mass destruction. Non-lethal weapons are listed and the list includes mind control weapons. Resolutions, treaties, international conventions/laws must quickly be introduced to bridge the gap between rapidly advancing (and usually ‘classified’) technologies and inadequate laws. UN weapons inspectors should then seek access to government (et al) facilities (worldwide – including the U.S.) to eradicate these evil weapons.
(v) ON 28TH DECEMBER 2003 THE MICHIGAN GOVERNOR SIGNED PUBLIC ACTS 256 AND 257 (EFFECTIVE 1/1/04). THESE OUTLAW THE USE OF ANY EM WEAPON ON ANYONE. PENALTY – 15 YEARS-LIFE.
(vi) US Rep Dennis Kucinich (D-OH) introduced a bill “The space preservation act of 2001″ (HR 2977). This was an attempt to ban all weapons in space, including the ones referred to on this site. The congressional record shows that “Mind Control”, “Psychotronic” and “Mood Management” weapons were referred to in HR 2977 but the bill had to be reintroduced as HR 3616 as a watered down version that excluded such terms. Like the earlier attempts by Pres. Clinton and Sen. Glenn this failed to shore up the loopholes which allow non-consensual human experimentation by the agencies and the military. And, like most things kept from the public, these secretive crimes, allowed by the deliberate placement of bad laws, are undemocratic, abhorrent and inspired by an inhumane, elitist mentality that the Nazis and Dr Mengele himself would be proud of.
The ACLU (American Civil Liberties Union) filed a lawsuit in early 2012 against the US government ( Obama administration) concerning the covert targeting / killing of individuals by the agencies; with executive approval or orders.
However these are only promises recognizing the problem. None have yet bore fruit. The use of most “non-lethal” weapons contravenes the spirit of all privacy laws and criminal codes as well as every relevant code and convention in play internationally; including The Declaration of Human Rights. The International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights. The Geneva Convention and The Nuremberg Code. The perpetrators are guilty of crimes against humanity. Those supporting them are engaging in class warfare of the worst kind.
HEROES
Some of the martyrs to the cause are listed below. These people, all of which spoke with authority and inside knowledge, were all murdered for blowing the whistle on covert satellite harassment….
• Bill Roy, ANU lecturer and Chief Technician, Canberra Black Mountain Tower. He was planning to enter politics and tell the world the truth about satellite surveillance / harassment. He was run down while on his bike, alone in the Uni’ grounds after dark.
• Dr Fred Bell, Physicist and ex DOD employee. He was speaking publicly about evil attacks on citizens using classified technologies. He was murdered in his hotel room just after speaking on Jesse Ventura’s Conspiracy show on TruTV. Ironically, he was the great grandson of Alexander Graham Bell who invented the “telephone” while he himself was killed for telling people about “neurophones”, amongst other things. • Ted Gunderson, Ex FBI agent. Ted was an effective activist that assisted many and worked tirelessly to resolve this situation. He died suddenly in suspicious circumstances. • Alistair Stuart, a Psychiatrist. He was discredited then murdered in his home for highlighting the number of political / agency targets who were falsely committed to mental institutions in order to silence them. • Michael Hastings – He was a journalist working on a story about the CIA chief when killed in a very suspicious accident in 2013. He had also previously ended the career of General McChrystal.
LIVING HEROES
• Bradley Manning – Jailed in 2013 for 35 years (hopefully to be paroled much sooner if not pardoned altogether) for passing on military information to Wikileaks founder Julian Assange. His motivation was seeing atrocities in Iraq whilst serving there. His concern was for others. In the absence of adequate reporting channels, media coverage or government accountability for such human rights abuses only whistleblowers can bring such things to the attention of the public and then only through marginalized organizations. This of course conveniently allows the government to hide most crimes and demonize those reporting them. The most apt comment I read on this matter read something like this: “When exposing a crime is able to be called a crime by the criminals who committed it you can be sure that those same criminals rule”. The US military and agencies manipulate the truth and brainwash the public so that those not thinking straight support their views, giving them at least some leeway to get away with injustices such as imprisoning Mr Manning. Talk of fictional “psych’ ” problems is always a last resort and they also used that in his case.
• Julian Assange – He published the Manning documents / revelations en masse through Wikileaks and has been hounded for it to the point where he’s sought political asylum from the gov’t of Ecuador. The big lie used on him concerns some obvious sexual frame up. Like other whistleblowers, he has been demonized for speaking the truth which has become a crime or revolutionary act according to the criminals committing the crimes. How the guilty turn the accusations back onto the innocent in today’s evil world would have been a valuable clue for the despots of the past who would be in awe of what technology and total control of the information flow have delivered to the masters of today’s evil world.
• Edward Snowden – Attacked to the point where he sought asylum in China then Russia, for revealing to Guardian reporter Glenn Greenwald the extent of the NSA’s PRISM surveillance system; gathering all information from all communications from all citizens. Like William Binney before him, also an NSA whistleblower re’ ECHELON and other systems, he’s been victimized and set up to look like a traitor. Again, as with the quote for Mr Manning, I say: When exposing treachery is able to be called treachery by the traitors responsible you can be sure that those same powerful traitors rule.
Jesus Christ, who IS the truth, said that “the world” hated him because he said that it was evil (the truth). When men like those mentioned above say the same they are treated the same; with lies and set ups, fueled by merciless hatred and ending in ultimate injustice by the rulers of “the world”. “The whole world is under the rule of the evil one” said Jesus. It was true then and it’s true now. “In a time of universal deceit telling the truth is a revolutionary act”, George Orwell.
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