Too Weak to Bathe

Many fibers 2019-08-12 at 12.47.18 PM sm

This is the one of the 3 worst spots with a quantity of mystery fibers.

Many days lately I’ve felt too tired to bathe.  I monitor my Morgellon’s Disease with a digital microscope and see fungal and spirochetal co-infections growing wildly all over my face or other places just one day after a good scrubbing.

Photo on 1-27-20 at 8.59 AM cropI also find all sorts of anomalies that match various Internet photos of fungal infection or skin cancer, including many on my scalp and elsewhere that look like little red raspberries called “most fast growing.”

Many days, I can only wash my face and genitals but just don’t have energy to wash any more. Photo on 3-9-20 at 5.55 PMIn the last few days, I’ve found new patches of fungal-looking growths all over my ears and the back of my neck where I’ve not seen them before – and I despair that I don’t have the energy to address them.  To lift my arms for that long, and rub abrasive back and forth just sounds like too much energy to expend all over my ears and neck and every crevice and angle and above and below of every limb and my torso – just way too much.

And for what?  So I can live a healthier life to be mind controlled against my will on a regular basis?  No thanks.  But still the irrational urge to live is still in me.

Photo on 3-4-20 at 5.48 PM #2

Spirochete related to syphilis.  It’s striped, partially transparent, with knobs and bends, and it moves, but medical professionals glance quickly and say it’s just a hair.

The spirochetes are my main concern, as they can enter the nervous system, heart and brain. In the last month, I’ve noticed my hands trembling and fingers flicking my phone or my face without my intention.

My energy is so low I wonder about my heart, since I’ve already had “at least one” (according to a doctor) heart attack, and keep finding myself holding my breath, feeling weak and even like crying at the thought of a doctor-recommended treadmill “stress test,” which I don’t think I can do.  And there’s a strange feeling under my skull, and I often feel unable to focus my mind for tasks I really need to do, so I barely keep up.

Besides bathing, I deal with this complex disease in a few other ways: excellent diet with little sugar, as much sleep as I want, moderate exercise as I feel able each day, sunshine, internal supplements, topical ointments, and prayer. I keep up with these well enough, but I just don’t have the physical energy to scrub every part of my body every day.

I’ve wondered whether to hire someone to bathe me (as if I could afford it or barter enough to pay for what would probably be at least an hour’s effort every day), or give up (intending to die), or try to increase all my other healing attempts so that not scrubbing won’t be an issue.  Or maybe I should be on oxygen, so I’d have the energy to bathe myself.  Some say I should quit all my efforts and just pray.

I dunno.  I think about dying often, and I usually just feel relieved that the battle could soon be over.  I feel a little sad for myself, but mostly sad for our whole world, run as it is by people who’d mind control us for their purposes and kill us with gruesome diseases if we weren’t useful enough to them.  But scriptures says that’s what the gods have always done.

Hanging in there anyway ~

1 thought on “Too Weak to Bathe

  1. Vincent

    Hi Jean,

    This is Vincent,

    I’ve emailed you in the past and discussed some of my issues I deal with with you but basically I’m dealing with the attempted use of energy directed weapons and satellite mind control technology towards me.. it’s pretty intense and at times has felt unmanageable. The last time I emailed you I was mentioning sending you an email describing some of the things I’ve experienced and also have been considering writing a book or somehow expressing the the things I have learned and and or witnessed in regards to how these beings attempt to create fear and attempt to manipulate people and the masses.

    Since I’ve written you I have been through a lot more severely intense and somewhat debilitating experiences where I was taken to the hospital and attempts made to make it look like I was catatonic and schizophrenic which has been there m.o. with me most of the time.

    Anyways, I actually wanted to respond to your post to let you know I too at times have very similar feelings as you do in regards to what I deal with and thoughts about what to do and or feelings of wanting to die and then there is also the same feelings of having concern for the issues these beings are attempting to create in the world and the intense feeling of wanting to see from a higher perspective as to what I can do to help stop these attempted atrocities to humanity and the planet.

    I feel a lot of compassion for what you are experiencing and see you as a brave and courageous soul working to transmute the negative effects of these things and bring more peace and love into the world. I feel your spiritual wisdom and energetic healing abilities with a combination of the support of Source and Divine Mother and the Universe is the feeling that you feel that keeps you going and moving through these extremes you deal with, as I find myself going through those feelings of what am I supposed to do about this and wanting it to stop and then feeling suicidal then finding a way to continue on. They attempt to keep me feeling confused and disempowered which is the lies they use to attempt to keep me feeling hopeless.

    I send you much love and blessings and prayers for Divine Support from Source and the Universe and your Higher Self/ Higher Soul aspect to provide you a way to overcome what you experience.

    Many blessings to you!



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