Physical Wounds – posts

  • Speaking out again - I used to wonder what was wrong with me. I called myself shy, then neurotic, and eventually, in my early 40s realized I’d been sexually abused as a child.  The next year, I realized I was also dissociative, fractured, amnesic, and had been for most of my life. Just before I turned 50 I realized […]
  • Summary of MK anomalies in 2016 - Of course, I could write a book on this year, but I don’t want to. Instead, here is an exceedingly brief outline of the types of things, resulting in programming, I’ve lived through this year – including electronic, pharmaceutical, physical (including rape), phone, drone, computer, social sabotage, surveillance, and more.  I extracted them from my year’s […]
  • The Last 8 Years - Anomalous weirdness seemed to be increasing, so last January I decided to comb through every journal of mine and record the anomalies since I published RattleSnake Fire, and then record all the anomalies in my book and before my book – the entire rest of my life, as much as I could remember.  I put them […]
  • Opening a new book to follow RattleSnake Fire - My life is exquisitely difficult to talk about.  It’s woven with extreme themes – sexual abuse, mind control, aliens, mysticism – and with accomplishments that make me shy, and failures that embarrass me, and critical facts that embarrass other people. And none of the themes, for simplification, can be hidden or glossed over, because each […]
  • A Disinformation Story from 2007 - Disinformation is finally being better understood and acknowledged throughout the culture, but few people understand its full extent. And understanding and reading reality correctly is an important survival skill for all of us. Therefore, I’d like to share what I’ve learned, as both third-party observer and victim.  I’ll chose an older story rather than a […]
  • A Petition to: BAN ELECTRONIC WARFARE ON CIVILIANS - First published at GardenHealingChurch.org.  (I keep thinking this is the last post on this site, but here’s one more.) This petition, http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/synergy, and all the people commenting on it – inspired me to comment too, and I ended up writing a short essay that presents my story briefly, so I’ll share it here with a few photos added: […]
  • Secretly forced brain implants Pt 1: Explosive court case - A two-part article with detailed info (6 years old, but….) about evidence that went to court! http://www.examiner.com/article/ secretly-forced-brain-implants-pt-1-explosive-court-case#ixzz1eHdKChiT
  • It’s good to know who we are - Lonely, obedient, good girl, good student, shy, dancer, math and puzzle genius, occasional amnestic, community theater performer, raped, reluctant sorority girl, reluctant beauty queen, college run-away hitchhiker, Jesus hippie, minister’s wife, battered, mother, divorced, children conned away by ex, atheist, woken out of a trance, children returned, degreed in broadcast journalism, UPI award-winning radio reporter, […]
  • Captive Dolphins and Mind Control Subjects - Wrote last July 11, just discovered and edited it: June 2015, National Geographic published an article about the reintroduction of dolphins back to the wild after living major parts of their lives in captivity, above and near the surface of the water, eating dead fish from a bucket, on a schedule, and always relating to […]
  • Psychopaths or Just Bad “Gardeners”? - The usual interpretation of mind controllers is that they are psychopathic, predatory, sexual perverts, Satanic, demonic, or something else, in any case trying to rob people of their souls or at the very least rob them of their life energy to use them for the controllers’ own purposes. I’ve lived with variations on this theory […]
  • Healing/Deprogramming with the I Ching! - I could not have been more surprised. I’ve investigated every sort of information I thought would help me either make sense of the strange and sometimes horrifying (apparently trans-dimensional) experiences I’ve had – or help me stop them or appropriately deal with them.  I’ve read about religion and spiritual/demonic attack, mind control and criminal hypnosis, […]
  • Watching “Karla” - Impressed by the incredible actor Laura Prepon, of Orange is the New Black, I looked her up on Wikipedia and read: In 2005, Prepon starred in the film Karla, the true story of Paul Bernardo and his wife Karla Homolka, a couple who kidnapped, sexually abused and murdered three young girls – marking a contrast to […]
  • Two Short Videos – Please Share - Hi Everyone ~ I just re-watched these videos made last year and think it’s time now for more people to see them.  I hope you’ll watch at least the first two videos: https://paradigmsalon.net/videos/ Friends in town, I hope and pray, will stop by. Thanks for all you do in these important times. Jean PS And if […]
  • Sunday Summary: Highs and (Forgotten) Shocking Lows - – impression that all has been fine, but…. – journals report incredible list of weirdness – almost forgotten! – accomplishments of 2014 impressive, despite experiences Well, the life of a mind controlled multiple personality is not boring!  For one thing, all my alters want expression, and that keeps me busy.  And the multiple-ness keeps me […]
  • Government Complicity in Violence Against Activists - From the “Top 25 Stories of 2014 Subjected to Press Censorship” – with my story and  response  – JE 7. FBI Dismisses Murder Plot against Occupy as NSA Cracks Down on Dissent (For full story, click here) In October 2011, when the Occupy movement arrived in Houston, protesters were subject to local and federal surveillance, […]
  • Sunday Summary:  Two Positive Weird-ities! - What a pleasure to report nothing weird all week – except for two things positive! One non-normal happening was my sighting of a series of – apparently – energetic beings in a storm cloud!  Now, I’ve never seen this sort of thing before*, though I also would not automatically discount it.  Still, I was very […]
  • First Peek: My Next Memoir on Healing from Mind Control - In 1990, I sat in the center of communications for the radical activist group Tucson Earth First! and networked with many other non-profit organizations in town, including People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, domestic violence organizations, homeless advocates, the parent-teacher association, and had been written up in the daily paper along with a couple […]
  • Twelve years flirting with “shamanic practice” - ~ Twelve years flirting ~ Amazing changes since I quit Twelve years of flirting with “shamanic practice.”  I wouldn’t recommend it. Opening doors to the other dimensions, or recognizing that they were opened somehow, as was my case, and then not acting decisively about it is dangerous.  I’ve documented how dangerous it is all over […]
  • Gov’t-Controlled Communications - Back in the late 90s, I read a memoir,  FBI Secrets:  An Agent’s Exposé, by retired agent, M. Wesley Swearingen, who after 26 years in the agency was involved in several successful lawsuits against the FBI related to wrongful imprisonment and civil rights violations.  (He was also involved in several successful lawsuits against his former employer, including […]
  • Learning through the Pain - I’m recovering, yet again, from another “hard day,” Monday, when I woke up at 10 am (I’d been unable to sleep until 3 am) and had to force myself to do anything, which turned out to be very little. Eight days earlier, on August 17, I’d discovered a strange injury on my left shoulder blade, […]
  • Two circle bruises appear - Twenty-six days ago, on July 21, I discovered a doughnut-shaped bruise on the back of my thigh. It was oddly painless, and I have no idea how I might have done that to myself. I found myself telling Greg it reminded me of an audio electrical plug, with one electrical pole, positive or negative, in […]
  • Shamanism, Mind Control, Christ, “Aliens,” and Me - [This no longer reflects my views on shamanism and Yeshua.  For an update, see this blog.] What is shamanism?  How do I relate to shamanism?  Is shamanism dangerous?  How does it relate to mind control?  Am I a shaman?  Am I dangerous?  Where does Jesus fit in?  Who are “aliens”? First, What is shamanism? Shamanism exists […]
  • Three Days in Darkness - Of course, we all know, or we’ve all heard, that spiritual progress on this human plane is never really “done,” and so I think it’s the same with healing, although certain aspects of healing may be accomplished, we always have more, and we’ll certainly experience more that must be healed. So I think I shouldn’t […]
  • Heart Problems – I assume from Electroshock and Tasering - Just went to the doctor yesterday for blood tests and EKG.  (I don’t follow their prescriptions, but I appreciate their tests.) My blood work was essentially normal, but my heart is not functioning properly.  I have “stage 1” something (I’ll take better notes when I talk again with her next) – the first chamber of […]
  • Wow! Feel and Heal! - Remember that old saying, “Gotta feel to heal”? I felt so much yesterday, I could barely see.  It hurt to walk.  I wanted to die. Today, I feel better and understand quite a few things. I had just extracted numbers from my journal of the last 6 months and was not surprised to see the […]
  • Hit again - Oh, God, I’ve been hit again.  In the last 6 months, I’ve felt terrible about two weeks of every month, and I felt really bad yesterday: my vision clouded, my joints in pain, my mood so depressed, all I could think was that I didn’t want to live anymore. Decided to review and collate my […]
  • The Struggle to Heal from Mind Control - Twelve years ago, while living rurally as a hermit in Cochise County, Arizona, I realized I was a mind control subject – and I mean in a manner more intense than the ubiquitous birth trauma-television-education-news-political propaganda type of generalized mind control; I mean the MKULTRA-type of trauma-based mind programming done to unwitting adults and children […]
  • Part II: Overview of a Life with Mind Control - I realize that by hitting the Publish button, I could bring on the controllers’ wrath, but I’ll do it anyway.  Truth feels more important today than my comfort. (Please read Part I first, as well as the two introductions that precede.) Mind control is finally becoming an accepted fact in America. It is a terribly […]
  • Overcoming Challenges to Telling the Whole Truth - I envy people whose stories are simpler than mine, perhaps involving just one sort of alien – especially a helpful sort who conveys spiritual wisdom and encouragement.  That would be very nice. I’m fortunate to have also had those sorts of positive “alien” experiences, and to also have had profound spiritual experiences since early childhood.  […]
  • 7 1/2 years since my hermitage - It’s been 7 1/2 years since I left my 7-year hermitage on the western slope of the Chiricahua Mountains in southeastern Arizona and moved to the town of Silver City, New Mexico, to recreate my life. I’d been experiencing bizarre, confusing, and sublime events for years, some seeming like alien and UFO contact, some that […]
  • Mayan elder advice for these days - Just watched a video featuring Mayan elders discussing the 2012 prophesies. Even though I enjoy acting as though I believe something dramatic will happen, maybe even on the 21st, I am also ready for positive change to be gradual and take work. After all, 2012 is the mid-point of a prophesied 40-year period of change. […]
  • An Alien Transmission? - A Shocking Message June 27, 2012 – written July 17, 2012 – minimally edited and posted Background:  This continues to be a wonderful year, probably the most wonderful of my life.  Greg and I have eaten the most delicious, nutritious food of either of our lives, home-made together with joy.  We have gardened, enjoyed the […]
  • Healing in the Balance between Denial and Obsession - “And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.” — Friedrich Nietzsche Two weeks ago, I gazed for too long into Nietzsche’s abyss, and it gazed back at me. I’d compiled a summary of my anomalous experiences of the last 18 months, and realized they contained many more events […]
  • Second Weekly Report: Prayer, Sexual Healing, and Weird MK Story - Three parts: 1)  Programming to Ignore Prayer? 2)  Sexual Healing in Progress? 3)  MK Acquaintance with Weird Story Involving Me 1) Ignoring Prayer? I often wonder, “Is it just me (resistant to prayer and meditation), or am I struggling against programming to avoid prayer? I assume it must be programming, because I know through experience […]
  • Week One Report on New Healing Approach - No great success with my new approach, but few interesting lessons – two I believe are Most Important (near bottom). 1) Monday, woke with bruise, inside which I thought I saw two dots, but chastised myself that I was imagining things in my natural freckles.  The bruise faded by Thursday, revealing two clear dots, spaced […]
  • Ignored bruise becomes a faded taser mark? - Monday, I noticed a small bruise on my arm.  I wondered if it was from a hypodermic injection, but it was small, hard to see, and I don’t want to bother folks with all the iffy stuff, so I ignored it. Tuesday, I took a photo, but it was small and didn’t look significant. Thursday, […]
  • Back in the Light – from another dimension? - I feel as though I’ve come out of a hole, into the light again. The event that triggered the week of darkness seemed so small:  just a couple of new scoop marks.  But those caused me to look at my last 18 months of anomalous experiences – so much, so traumatic, all at once, that I was […]
  • In Denial about My Healing - I think I’ve been just a little naive about how far along I’ve been in my healing. Just because life seemed okay, and I’d had a number of amazing experiences of alters recognizing each other, and I recognized a controller in the community, and recognized other people to avoid, I thought I was on the […]
  • Tired of This - I don’t know how I’ve made it through the last 18 months. I think it has to do with my mind being fractured, so if I don’t have a summarizing list in front of me all at once, I only remember bits of this, and life seems doable. My mind has a lot of compartments, I […]
  • Summary of 18 Months as an MK Subject - I just created a log of all my anomalous experiences of the last 18 months and discovered the following: 1) I’ve had 98 experiences, some of them with as many as 5 clustered in a larger event, but most of them single. Some of them have had long-lasting effects, though counted only once. 2) 12 […]
  • New Scoop Marks - April 9, 2012, I discovered two new scoop marks, slightly smaller than the scoops in my finger last year (See “Photo History” page), plus a scrape above one, which I photographed as soon as I was conscious of them, in the evening. Curiously, as soon as I discovered it in the evening, I recalled having […]
  • Disinformation Specialists - When “intelligence agencies” first began officially in the US (FBI/BOI in 1908), their stated purpose was to discredit, misdirect, and diminish the effectiveness of the early labor activists – though later they would cloak their intentions in loftier language. At least by the 50s and on, they were targeting all sorts of activists, including civil […]
  • Riding the Balance between Denial and Obsession - “And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”   — Friedrich Nietzsche Two weeks ago, I gazed too long into Nietzsche’s abyss, and it gazed back at me.  But after the incapacitating pain and suicidal thoughts, I broke though again into “normalcy” – and better! The Hard Two […]
  • My Story - Ah, meditation today began with the vision of a blue and white energetic stream, the color of crystalline mountain water and bands of white clouds, flowing upward from my heart like a twisting waft of smoke, curling next downward, and looping like a playful thing – such a surprise after my intense effort yesterday to […]
  • Dawn Healing: To Know Myself - About dawn this morning in front of the fire, I discovered a new, simple meditation posture in which I – surprisingly – easily experienced my energy field and felt it connected to other realms. Then I was disturbed to sense my aura behind me entirely collapsed (interesting, since I’ve had my neck and back out […]
  • My Million-dollar Question - Yesterday, I posted that I intended to blog only about spiritual power and ignore any dark stuff that intruded into my life. Before I could post  it, however, I experienced my first obvious harassment of the season, then succumbed to my usual desire to “shine light on the darkness,” and posted two more blogs and […]

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