Up Times

A mind control subject, like all of us, can have days when we feel blessed, in charge of our lives, and grateful.

Here I’ve collected all the posts written on days when I had reason to feel hopeful.  I pray they will give hopeful direction to you.

  • Video Interviews -

    I recently began doing interviews again.

    On The Cosmic Switchboard, James Bartley and I overview my life in 2 hours. On RevolutionRadio/AquarianRadio, I have two interviews with Janet Lessin, another mind control subject, and her husband Dr. Sasha Lessin, a psychotherapist.

  • Simple Cure! – for part of Morgellon’s - Last night I woke at 1 am and since I couldn’t sleep, I sat up and asked my Spirit Help what they might want me to hear, as They often wake me at night for things like that. Morgellon’s was a spiritual battle, they said – like everything else. Yes, I’m supposed to keep my […]
  • Overview of Morgellon’s Challenge - First used digital microscope in May 2019 to investigate deep sores on scalp followed by deep scabs. Discovered this wound first: Later found more scalp ulcers, this one photographed in October, 2019: Also found ulcers on my face: And this on the bridge of my nose: Also, an ulcer in my vagina, with strange fibers […]
  • You were Born into a Sci-fi Scenario - What do you do when you wake up and realize you were born into a science fiction scenario, and everyone has conspired to lie about it and tell you you’re not too be taken seriously, despite your science journals and other “documentation,” and they want you to just shut up about this stuff? You’d been […]
  • Excellent Video Advice on Coping with the World - https://ourlifebeyondmkultra.wordpress.com/2014/08/29/deprogramming-connections/
  • Healing Help for Electronic Harassment? - The John Hall radio interview I wrote about recently has given me hope that we can find ways to protect ourselves from electronic harassment.
  • The Last 8 Years - Anomalous weirdness seemed to be increasing, so last January I decided to comb through every journal of mine and record the anomalies since I published RattleSnake Fire, and then record all the anomalies in my book and before my book – the entire rest of my life, as much as I could remember.  I put them […]
  • A Petition to: BAN ELECTRONIC WARFARE ON CIVILIANS - First published at GardenHealingChurch.org.  (I keep thinking this is the last post on this site, but here’s one more.) This petition, http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/synergy, and all the people commenting on it – inspired me to comment too, and I ended up writing a short essay that presents my story briefly, so I’ll share it here with a few photos added: […]
  • My Last Blog Here - This idea has been coming on for a long time. There’s no reason to write anymore here. I’ve been withholding a lot in the last year or so anyway, feeling there are things I know that I’m just not willing to commit to print, and so I point out details or tell my experiences, and leave […]
  • Multi-dimensional Wounding AND Healing - I have to confess I’ve been downplaying part of my story. I’ve been neglecting to share, or minimizing, the fact that my strange experiences – that often seem related to mind control and sometimes to “alien” weirdness – are sometimes accompanied by events that seem to be spiritual healings. This is HUGE.  And I want to explain […]
  • Healing/Deprogramming with the I Ching! - I could not have been more surprised. I’ve investigated every sort of information I thought would help me either make sense of the strange and sometimes horrifying (apparently trans-dimensional) experiences I’ve had – or help me stop them or appropriately deal with them.  I’ve read about religion and spiritual/demonic attack, mind control and criminal hypnosis, […]
  • Ahhhh…. Healing Power of a Hot Spring…. - On the way home from a soak in the Gila (Wilderness) Hot Springs on Monday, we pulled off the highway and up to the top of Cienega Ridge, where we enjoyed a 360-degree view of the wilderness.  The view, weather, and setting were as perfect as two people could ask for. We were, as expected, wonderfully […]
  • “A Good Day to Die” – revisited - A while back, I wrote about the right to decide it’s a “good day to die” – because I wanted to die. My reasons I thought were compelling (and, I thought, in line with a newish New Mexico law):  As a mind control subject, I am not only dissociative, but have suffered from regular, unexplainable, random […]
  • Monsoon Rain “Dancer” – burned - This colored pencil sketch is by Asante Riverwind, my former partner, from 2003-2005.  He said it was a portrait of me. Since I’d been having years of spontaneous shamanic experiences while living in my hermitage, each of the emblems in this portrait had some meaning – but I never thought carefully about how all the […]
  • Third video! - Hi Friends ~ I just watched my third video again for the first time in many months and believe this is also worthy of another view:  “Part 2:  My Experience as a Multiple Personality.” Thanks for watching – it’s just under ten minutes, with lots in it (third one down):  https://paradigmsalon.net/videos/ And the fourth video is a ten-minute reading […]
  • No longer an activist; No longer an Earth First!er - No longer an activist; no longer an Earth First!er. Activist has been my identity since I fought the dress code in high school and was sent home to change, seething at the hypocrisy of it, the requirement that women wear skirts, and in all weather, and little girls too, hampering their play.  Pissed me off. […]
  • Sunday Summary: Highs and (Forgotten) Shocking Lows - – impression that all has been fine, but…. – journals report incredible list of weirdness – almost forgotten! – accomplishments of 2014 impressive, despite experiences Well, the life of a mind controlled multiple personality is not boring!  For one thing, all my alters want expression, and that keeps me busy.  And the multiple-ness keeps me […]
  • Healing a Little Girl in Meditation - Time to return to meditation  Approach:  Imagine my True Self a still vessel watching all the thoughts. (I’ve always known I was supposed to watch my thoughts, but I’d never thought of the part of me who is the still vessel watching – except once.  I did a meditation by Stephen LaBerge that blew my mind in […]
  • Need to Scream… Memory…. Ah… - First journaling in a while.  Feel like I need to scream.  Been worrying about how to read the signs (since I sometimes avoid prayer and contemplation – some programming that hits sometimes) especially when things go wrong like they have today. I realize:  All the “figuring” is a very basic part of my mind control; I […]
  • Friday Random Beauty: Dar’s Orb - I’ve come to believe ancient tales of faeries and contemporary tales of orbs and such. I have no personal experience of faeries myself, but I have a number of friends who either secretly or publicly admit to relationships with them. And of course, I love (and wrote about here) best-selling author Peter Thompkin’s Secret Life of […]
  • Friday Foundation: Aliens in the Closet - I’ve been downplaying the alien aspect of my experiences for the last few years, I just realized.  (I only added “alien” to the tagline up top last night.) Years ago, though, aliens were easier (for me) to discuss than the CIA or church involvement in sexual torture, so I tended to hide those angles then.  But I […]
  • Friday Random Beauty: “Rebel Jesus” - We’re preparing for a concert in which we’ll sing this amazing song, “‘Rebel Jesus,” which I’d love to share with you as my Friday Random Beauty offering. The lyrics, by Jackson Browne, are amazing.  As John Nichols wrote in The Nation:  “Browne’s lyrics, world-weary and wry in their observations yet warm in their delivery, offer an ancient antidote […]
  • Friday Foundation: Big Picture of Hope - I quit thinking we could change anything politically or by education a long time ago.  (I’m sorry to say that, activist friends.) Why?  Just look at the extent of our soil collapse, terminator genes, poisoned water, chemtrails, fracking, wars, prisons, racism, surveillance, political charades, media disinformation, mis-education, crazy philosophies, pharmaceutical addictions, mind control, wars – and […]
  • Sunday Summary:  “Experiment in Sound Healing” - Saturday afternoon, after a mild and satisfying week, I watched a video about Tom Kenyon – “Song of the New Earth” – then turned off the computer and sat back to try to “tone” for the first time in years. I’ve had amazing experiences with sound before, most notably when I went to hear Tuvan […]
  • Friday Random Beauty: Saving the Life of a Lizard - Today, we took a walk around an acquaintance’s property, and at the very beginning of the walk, I spotted one – and then two – desiccated lizards which I picked up to carry home. I like lizards.  They do insect control, are neat and clean, and are symbolic of the dreamtime.  And I’ve had many […]
  • Survived! Florescent Lights or Electronic Harassment? - What an interesting performance we had last night – the sort of thing I might write into a sardonic movie script:  We played in a room charmingly decorated, but fluorescent-lit and linoleum-floored with lots of hard surfaces for bouncing around all the conversations happening.  Lots of good folks were there, and we enjoyed a number […]
  • Sunday Summary:  Two Positive Weird-ities! - What a pleasure to report nothing weird all week – except for two things positive! One non-normal happening was my sighting of a series of – apparently – energetic beings in a storm cloud!  Now, I’ve never seen this sort of thing before*, though I also would not automatically discount it.  Still, I was very […]
  • Friday Random Beauty: Pregnant Preying Mantis waves at me ~ - While I was sitting in the sunroom the other day, a very pregnant-looking preying mantis came to the window and tapped on it repeatedly – as if trying to get my attention – maybe to let her in. I chose to let her stay outside, but enjoyed taking a few photos. I also enjoyed making […]
  • Second Sunday Summary: Surprising Spiritual Healing - The week’s highlights: ~ a powerful (and surprising!) heart-healing experience ~ discovered and rediscovered reading and videos ~ cleaned and cleared energy in house and yard ~ decision to limit computer use Most amazing first:  It began with a massage.  Greg thought he was being intuitive, but I experienced it as being gouged in that […]
  • “Friday Random Beauty” - Fridays at the Paradigm Salon will now bring a yin-yang of complementarity with Friday Random Beauty and Friday Foundation [of this MK Stuff]. To begin the Friday Random Beauty series, I’m offering this example of the type of art I try to create all around me. Years ago, a book came into my life, titled “Altars,” advocating […]
  • I Quit! (Doesn’t that feel good?!) - “Too many inspirations” has long been my excuse, as well as my pride, but a couple of months ago, I said, “I quit!” and I really, truly did quit quite a few things: ~ I quit my home and yard design business. ~ I quit singing. ~ I hardly planted anything in the garden. ~ And more I’ll spare you. […]
  • Dragonfly Metaphor: Things might look ugly at first - A month or so ago, we were helping a friend “consciously” die.  It was a wonderful experience that released him from his pain and immobility (which he said was “no way to live,” regularly asking for a shotgun when we inquired what he might need), and brought together a community of friends to support his […]
  • Saved by My Journal/Notebook! -  “I’ve been like a balloon in a storm for twenty-one years, and finally I’ve set down!” – Benefits – How it works:  Journal pages and Daily Check Sheets – Additional pages:  Alter descriptions, DAAA, to-do’s, scribbles, art pages, meditation help. – Finishing a “Chapter”   I really love my Journal/Notebook – the one I wrote […]
  • Dragonfly Birth Day - [This photo-essay was first posted on my (MK) Garden Healing Church site:  http://gardenhealingchurch.org/2014/08/14/dragonfly-birth-day/.] My partner and I are supporting a friend in the process of dying. I’ve been feeling myself drawn toward this sort of work for a decade, and now the time has arrived. I’m amazed at how calm I feel and comfortable with […]
  • A Church for Mind Control Victims - “I’ve been waiting for something to happen For a week or a month or a year With the blood in the ink of the headlines And the sound of the crowd in my ear.” — Jackson Browne, Lives in the Balance (Greg and I have been singing this song almost endlessly for weeks.) Last Full Moon, […]
  • Energized to Speak So Much Truth! - Originally posted on Garden Healing Church:
    “I’ve been waiting for something to happen For a week or a month or a year With the blood in the ink of the headlines And the sound of the crowd in my ear.” — Jackson Browne, Lives in the Balance (Greg and I have been singing that endlessly the…
  • 7 1/2 years since my hermitage - It’s been 7 1/2 years since I left my 7-year hermitage on the western slope of the Chiricahua Mountains in southeastern Arizona and moved to the town of Silver City, New Mexico, to recreate my life. I’d been experiencing bizarre, confusing, and sublime events for years, some seeming like alien and UFO contact, some that […]
  • Sources of Power III: Tribe - We are only half-creating our “own” evolution; someone else is tending us as their garden.  Sometimes the gardener really rips things up.  But we’re more than plants to these gardeners; we’re also their children, carrying some of their DNA.  (Just like Jesus said, calling us his children.  He also called himself our shepherd and us […]
  • Sources of Power IV: Opposition - Every religion has a true foundation that has been skewed throughout history.  His story. And every religion offers clues to our planet’s past visits by extra-dimensional and/or extra-planetary people.  And they’re also right that we are in a spiritual battle. We may be someone’s stock.  And, we are half-creators.  It’s a dynamic struggle – just […]
  • Sources of Power VIII: Consciousness - Today we accepted an invitation to see a movie next week at a friend’s house, to watch and discuss a video titled, Healing Mother Earth’s Sacred Sites.  The video, I was told, is about the community around Big Bear Lake in California that worked with a local Shoshone medicine man to bring different sorts of […]
  • Sources of Power VII: Clarity - Yesterday we watched a video that summed up why I’m so ready for change and what we’ve both felt for most of our adulthoods about the charade that is our politics and culture, though the video filled in the gaps in our history, proving our guts were correct.  We watched  Secrets in Plain Sight. Satisfying, […]
  • Sources of Power VI: Choice - While my partner read the last chapter of Botany of Desire aloud, I felt calling from the bookshelf the 1998 Pulitzer Prize-winning book by John McPhee, Annals of a Former World – nominally about geology. The book opens with this: The poles of the Earth have wandered.  The equator has apparently moved.  The continents, perched […]
  • Sources of Power V: Ancestors - Alien gods, gardeners, shepherds, ranchers, controllers of our genetics, teachers, war-makers, plague makers, prophets – different sides of our ancestry. We are the same to others.  We control a great deal of the living biota of this planet, plants and animals, even in our furthest reaches.  Nothing can escape the DDT we’ve spread.  Animals live […]
  • Sources of Power II: History - …Listening and reading, I couldn’t help but think about another book we read months ago, Twelfth Planet, by Zecharia Sitchin, an unimpeachable Sumerian scholar, who lays out his research in translating tens of thousands of texts which tell a credible history of humanity as creations of the Annunaki, an inner-planetary race of people the Sumerians […]
  • Sources of Power I: Half-gods - One of the most wonderful parts of my life these days has been reading aloud in the evenings with my partner.  We often read more than one book at once, and sometimes the synergy is exciting. We just finished reading The Botany of Desire by Michael Pollan – an exquisite depiction of humans throughout time […]
  • Not From Here - I used to call myself an Earth First!er.  But now I’m not sure. In November 1999, I drove from Colorado Springs, where I’d been a realtor for 3 years, to Tucson to pick up three old friends and drive with them to Arizona’s Cabeza Prieta Wilderness on the Mexican border. We were meeting up with […]
  • “Armed with Visions” - America is “First” in 1)  percentage of population which believes, but won’t publicly enter into discussion on, numerous things that affect them in political, social, economic, psychological, health, and other ways, but instead chose to be silent and let themselves and others suffer, and 2) people who think it’s absolutely true that we are the […]
  • “Afterword” - From my book: A few years back, I read about how one tribe  supported any members who’d experienced traumatic events.  The people traumatized would tell their stories to the entire tribe at night around the campfire.  Later they would tell their stories again, remembering more details, describing them as fully as needed.  Finally, they would […]
  • My Story - Ah, meditation today began with the vision of a blue and white energetic stream, the color of crystalline mountain water and bands of white clouds, flowing upward from my heart like a twisting waft of smoke, curling next downward, and looping like a playful thing – such a surprise after my intense effort yesterday to […]
  • Healing From the Treatment of Psychopaths - Wonderful stuff also keeps happening in my life! Tuesday night, I healed a collection of alters, sort of a family, a stream, a lineage of wounded inner children who were forced onstage for the sexual entertainment of wealthy psychopaths. The “child me,” I theorize, went blank at those times, and my empty beingness became a […]

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