My Story Ongoing – posts

  • “Voices in their Heads!” - Watching an old Jesse Ventura show on Targeted Individuals – gratified that he’s found medical and other professionals willing to put their names on the line to testify about this experience. Wish I’d seen this five years ago. Now, it’s helped inspire me to gather my energy to write again about something of the last […]
  • Speaking out again - I used to wonder what was wrong with me. I called myself shy, then neurotic, and eventually, in my early 40s realized I’d been sexually abused as a child.  The next year, I realized I was also dissociative, fractured, amnesic, and had been for most of my life. Just before I turned 50 I realized […]
  • Excellent New Video on MKULTRA - There is so much healing in bringing secrets into the light. https://www.youtube.com/shared?ci=C2Gpy0tE1Gc Well-written, well-delivered, with powerful visuals, without hyperbole or excess drama, documented, historical, contemporary, comprehensive in scope, covering efficiently all that can be covered in an hour, and covering it fairly, as far as I can say, as one who is a subject. Total Mind Control, […]
  • Summary of MK anomalies in 2016 - Of course, I could write a book on this year, but I don’t want to. Instead, here is an exceedingly brief outline of the types of things, resulting in programming, I’ve lived through this year – including electronic, pharmaceutical, physical (including rape), phone, drone, computer, social sabotage, surveillance, and more.  I extracted them from my year’s […]
  • Online Support and Brain Entrainment - Eve Lorgen, author and counselor for those with “anomalous trauma,” offers an online support group now and then. I’ve always been too afraid to participate, afraid that my stuff was too different, or that I might distrust people in the group, or it wouldn’t do me any good. Today was the first day I participated […]
  • Healing Help for Electronic Harassment? - The John Hall radio interview I wrote about recently has given me hope that we can find ways to protect ourselves from electronic harassment.
  • The Last 8 Years - Anomalous weirdness seemed to be increasing, so last January I decided to comb through every journal of mine and record the anomalies since I published RattleSnake Fire, and then record all the anomalies in my book and before my book – the entire rest of my life, as much as I could remember.  I put them […]
  • What time is it? - You'd think that if you were watching a movie, and the camera zoomed in on the watch that the main character wore and kept checking, so tight a zoom that the watch face more than filled the screen, you'd notice the time. And you'd especially notice the time if the character repeated the action and the director repeated the zoom four or five times. Not me.
  • Opening a new book to follow RattleSnake Fire - My life is exquisitely difficult to talk about.  It’s woven with extreme themes – sexual abuse, mind control, aliens, mysticism – and with accomplishments that make me shy, and failures that embarrass me, and critical facts that embarrass other people. And none of the themes, for simplification, can be hidden or glossed over, because each […]
  • A Disinformation Story from 2007 - Disinformation is finally being better understood and acknowledged throughout the culture, but few people understand its full extent. And understanding and reading reality correctly is an important survival skill for all of us. Therefore, I’d like to share what I’ve learned, as both third-party observer and victim.  I’ll chose an older story rather than a […]
  • A Petition to: BAN ELECTRONIC WARFARE ON CIVILIANS - First published at GardenHealingChurch.org.  (I keep thinking this is the last post on this site, but here’s one more.) This petition, http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/synergy, and all the people commenting on it – inspired me to comment too, and I ended up writing a short essay that presents my story briefly, so I’ll share it here with a few photos added: […]
  • Acting Like Things are Normal - Written in September 2014, forgotten, just discovered: So, this is what it’s like to live on a planet with everyone overwhelmed and mind controlled.  I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes. ~ Ineffective Governments ~ Corporate control of governments and economies ~ Economies very vulnerable ~ Poverty and […]
  • Earth Being? - Written long ago, and just discovered:   As someone who used to call herself an “Earth First!er,” I have a very difficult thing to say: I no longer believe we’re supposed to necessarily remain on this planet, Earth. Yeah, this is shocking to me too. But consider this: ~ All the planet’s water is poisoned and […]
  • Prophesy and Money-ism - Wrote last June, just re-discovered: I had a vision this evening of a cockroach burrowing into moist earth, working to turn dead things into more easily digestible other things to feed the roots of plants. I “hate” roaches, but I saw tonight how essential they are to Life.  They’re the clean-up guys. I wondered, “Why are you […]
  • It’s good to know who we are - Lonely, obedient, good girl, good student, shy, dancer, math and puzzle genius, occasional amnestic, community theater performer, raped, reluctant sorority girl, reluctant beauty queen, college run-away hitchhiker, Jesus hippie, minister’s wife, battered, mother, divorced, children conned away by ex, atheist, woken out of a trance, children returned, degreed in broadcast journalism, UPI award-winning radio reporter, […]
  • My Last Blog Here - This idea has been coming on for a long time. There’s no reason to write anymore here. I’ve been withholding a lot in the last year or so anyway, feeling there are things I know that I’m just not willing to commit to print, and so I point out details or tell my experiences, and leave […]
  • Psychopaths or Just Bad “Gardeners”? - The usual interpretation of mind controllers is that they are psychopathic, predatory, sexual perverts, Satanic, demonic, or something else, in any case trying to rob people of their souls or at the very least rob them of their life energy to use them for the controllers’ own purposes. I’ve lived with variations on this theory […]
  • Multi-dimensional Wounding AND Healing - I have to confess I’ve been downplaying part of my story. I’ve been neglecting to share, or minimizing, the fact that my strange experiences – that often seem related to mind control and sometimes to “alien” weirdness – are sometimes accompanied by events that seem to be spiritual healings. This is HUGE.  And I want to explain […]
  • Healing/Deprogramming with the I Ching! - I could not have been more surprised. I’ve investigated every sort of information I thought would help me either make sense of the strange and sometimes horrifying (apparently trans-dimensional) experiences I’ve had – or help me stop them or appropriately deal with them.  I’ve read about religion and spiritual/demonic attack, mind control and criminal hypnosis, […]
  • Out of the Woods - In this video, I outline a few of the “political connections” to mind control in my life (Dwight Eisenhower, the CIA’s mind control front Human Ecology Project, Stuart Udall, and Dan Quayle), then describe the spiritual forces in my life, with which I’ve danced for decades and now have more consciously aligned for the purpose […]
  • Ahhhh…. Healing Power of a Hot Spring…. - On the way home from a soak in the Gila (Wilderness) Hot Springs on Monday, we pulled off the highway and up to the top of Cienega Ridge, where we enjoyed a 360-degree view of the wilderness.  The view, weather, and setting were as perfect as two people could ask for. We were, as expected, wonderfully […]
  • Wrote poem last night ~ “Mind Control: In four parts” - Mind Control entails creation constraint guidance teaching skill building rewards punishments passivity training mental anesthesia physical anesthesia health care judgment deception encouragement support destruction experimentation accidents use abuse commerce and more. Each person experiences different aspects.  It’s okay – I say – to tell others, “I am here, and this is what I see and […]
  • “A Good Day to Die” – revisited - A while back, I wrote about the right to decide it’s a “good day to die” – because I wanted to die. My reasons I thought were compelling (and, I thought, in line with a newish New Mexico law):  As a mind control subject, I am not only dissociative, but have suffered from regular, unexplainable, random […]
  • Monsoon Rain “Dancer” – burned - This colored pencil sketch is by Asante Riverwind, my former partner, from 2003-2005.  He said it was a portrait of me. Since I’d been having years of spontaneous shamanic experiences while living in my hermitage, each of the emblems in this portrait had some meaning – but I never thought carefully about how all the […]
  • Can’t do this any longer - 4 of the last 5 nights, I’ve been “hit.”  Can’t be a whistleblower any longer. Maybe if I quit this, they’ll give me a break.
  • Watching “Karla” - Impressed by the incredible actor Laura Prepon, of Orange is the New Black, I looked her up on Wikipedia and read: In 2005, Prepon starred in the film Karla, the true story of Paul Bernardo and his wife Karla Homolka, a couple who kidnapped, sexually abused and murdered three young girls – marking a contrast to […]
  • Friday Foundation: “Spooks” – a short radio show about feds - In 2002, it seems the feds did a number on my credibility. That May and part of June, I did media work for the historic federal trial, “Judi Bari vs the FBI” – where I experienced weird, nighttime altered states of consciousness (which seemed electronic in nature), then came home to read for the first time […]
  • Third video! - Hi Friends ~ I just watched my third video again for the first time in many months and believe this is also worthy of another view:  “Part 2:  My Experience as a Multiple Personality.” Thanks for watching – it’s just under ten minutes, with lots in it (third one down):  https://paradigmsalon.net/videos/ And the fourth video is a ten-minute reading […]
  • Two Short Videos – Please Share - Hi Everyone ~ I just re-watched these videos made last year and think it’s time now for more people to see them.  I hope you’ll watch at least the first two videos: https://paradigmsalon.net/videos/ Friends in town, I hope and pray, will stop by. Thanks for all you do in these important times. Jean PS And if […]
  • No longer an activist; No longer an Earth First!er - No longer an activist; no longer an Earth First!er. Activist has been my identity since I fought the dress code in high school and was sent home to change, seething at the hypocrisy of it, the requirement that women wear skirts, and in all weather, and little girls too, hampering their play.  Pissed me off. […]
  • Sunday Summary: Highs and (Forgotten) Shocking Lows - – impression that all has been fine, but…. – journals report incredible list of weirdness – almost forgotten! – accomplishments of 2014 impressive, despite experiences Well, the life of a mind controlled multiple personality is not boring!  For one thing, all my alters want expression, and that keeps me busy.  And the multiple-ness keeps me […]
  • Why I’m Not on Facebook - A few years ago, I tried out Facebook, but quit it after a few months, feeling that something was fishy.  And now i find an article that supports my suspicions:  http://landdestroyer.blogspot.co.uk/2014/12/facebook-colonialism-20.html “Facebook has turned its features against users, insidiously manipulating their timelines to show selected posts and updates while “soft censoring” others to manage public perception.” And that’s […]
  • Sing-Song Trance - Twenty years ago last summer, I became estranged from my parents for seven years, and then for the next thirteen years only saw them for a few hours usually once a year – until last week.  For five nights then, I slept in their house and visited, mostly just them and me. That summer day, I had a […]
  • “The Company Men” – great film to be removed soon from Netflix, and a Happy one! - Recently I read that Netflix will be removing (in a day and a half) 65 movies from its list of streamable films, so I went to see what they were and was surprised to find this excellent film set for removal – perhaps as part of our cultural mind control?  (Mustn’t let Americans see too […]
  • Healing a Little Girl in Meditation - Time to return to meditation  Approach:  Imagine my True Self a still vessel watching all the thoughts. (I’ve always known I was supposed to watch my thoughts, but I’d never thought of the part of me who is the still vessel watching – except once.  I did a meditation by Stephen LaBerge that blew my mind in […]
  • Friday Foundation:  On Violence, Past Lives, Womb Wounds, What it Means - Past-life sex priestess…Womb wounds…What it means I have quite a few memories of past lives, from a young sensual woman during a period of ease and abundance on the African savanna, to a teen girl in romance in Scotland, a young girl child on a farm somewhere in feudal Europe, a woman burned at the […]
  • Need to Scream… Memory…. Ah… - First journaling in a while.  Feel like I need to scream.  Been worrying about how to read the signs (since I sometimes avoid prayer and contemplation – some programming that hits sometimes) especially when things go wrong like they have today. I realize:  All the “figuring” is a very basic part of my mind control; I […]
  • Minimalist Activist-Artist – MAA - I guess I shouldn’t use the word hippie anymore.  It has way too many meanings.  Like alien.  Useless. Besides, things evolve.  And I suddenly realized I felt a need to tell someone that I’m  – and here’s where I realized I needed a better phrase than “old hippie,” and I hit upon – a “minimalist […]
  • Friday Foundation: Aliens in the Closet - I’ve been downplaying the alien aspect of my experiences for the last few years, I just realized.  (I only added “alien” to the tagline up top last night.) Years ago, though, aliens were easier (for me) to discuss than the CIA or church involvement in sexual torture, so I tended to hide those angles then.  But I […]
  • Sunday Summary: Another Amazing Week - – another injection bruise – UFO movie with my folks – on the New Moon – 20th Anniversary of the family’s Big Rift – and hope for break-through I almost ignored the injection bruise that appeared on Tuesday, the same day Greg woke wondering why his lower back was out.  Denial was attractive, as other […]
  • Friday Random Beauty: “Rebel Jesus” - We’re preparing for a concert in which we’ll sing this amazing song, “‘Rebel Jesus,” which I’d love to share with you as my Friday Random Beauty offering. The lyrics, by Jackson Browne, are amazing.  As John Nichols wrote in The Nation:  “Browne’s lyrics, world-weary and wry in their observations yet warm in their delivery, offer an ancient antidote […]
  • Friday Foundation: Big Picture of Hope - I quit thinking we could change anything politically or by education a long time ago.  (I’m sorry to say that, activist friends.) Why?  Just look at the extent of our soil collapse, terminator genes, poisoned water, chemtrails, fracking, wars, prisons, racism, surveillance, political charades, media disinformation, mis-education, crazy philosophies, pharmaceutical addictions, mind control, wars – and […]
  • Political Activism: Why I respect it but can’t do it anymore - It’s hard to believe I was inspired to write my next-up essay, “Big Picture of Hope,” after watching the wonderful documentary, The Abolitionists.  (Also available in public libraries.) I’ve long had immense admiration for Frederick Douglas (he’s in all my Almanac publications) because of his eloquence and courage – so the reenactment of that eloquence and courage was thrilling. […]
  • Sunday Summary:  “Experiment in Sound Healing” - Saturday afternoon, after a mild and satisfying week, I watched a video about Tom Kenyon – “Song of the New Earth” – then turned off the computer and sat back to try to “tone” for the first time in years. I’ve had amazing experiences with sound before, most notably when I went to hear Tuvan […]
  • Friday Random Beauty: Saving the Life of a Lizard - Today, we took a walk around an acquaintance’s property, and at the very beginning of the walk, I spotted one – and then two – desiccated lizards which I picked up to carry home. I like lizards.  They do insect control, are neat and clean, and are symbolic of the dreamtime.  And I’ve had many […]
  • 172 words – start of my new memoir? Give me feedback! - I think I’ve been afraid for a very long time to be too powerful.  But I’m trying to get over that.  So here’s my second attempt at beginning a new memoir.  I’m also thinking of entering it in a memoir contest.  I’d love you’re feedback.   After the Second World War, my father and mother […]
  • Survived! Florescent Lights or Electronic Harassment? - What an interesting performance we had last night – the sort of thing I might write into a sardonic movie script:  We played in a room charmingly decorated, but fluorescent-lit and linoleum-floored with lots of hard surfaces for bouncing around all the conversations happening.  Lots of good folks were there, and we enjoyed a number […]
  • Sunday Summary:  Two Positive Weird-ities! - What a pleasure to report nothing weird all week – except for two things positive! One non-normal happening was my sighting of a series of – apparently – energetic beings in a storm cloud!  Now, I’ve never seen this sort of thing before*, though I also would not automatically discount it.  Still, I was very […]
  • Friday Random Beauty: Pregnant Preying Mantis waves at me ~ - While I was sitting in the sunroom the other day, a very pregnant-looking preying mantis came to the window and tapped on it repeatedly – as if trying to get my attention – maybe to let her in. I chose to let her stay outside, but enjoyed taking a few photos. I also enjoyed making […]
  • Second Sunday Summary: Surprising Spiritual Healing - The week’s highlights: ~ a powerful (and surprising!) heart-healing experience ~ discovered and rediscovered reading and videos ~ cleaned and cleared energy in house and yard ~ decision to limit computer use Most amazing first:  It began with a massage.  Greg thought he was being intuitive, but I experienced it as being gouged in that […]
  • “Friday Foundation” [of this MK stuff] - Each week, after posting “Friday Random Beauty,” I plan to post a yin/yang opposite essay titled “Friday Foundation” [of this MK stuff].  This is the first. “Mind Control in History” led a recent poll of my readers for subjects you’re most interested in. By coincidence, I happened to touch on the subject in my journal […]
  • “Friday Random Beauty” - Fridays at the Paradigm Salon will now bring a yin-yang of complementarity with Friday Random Beauty and Friday Foundation [of this MK Stuff]. To begin the Friday Random Beauty series, I’m offering this example of the type of art I try to create all around me. Years ago, a book came into my life, titled “Altars,” advocating […]
  • New Video Page - Hi Friends, Many new improvements on my site!  New organization, new material, new look! Among them:  a new video page – with almost a dozen videos watchable right there! The first video, lovingly and artfully crafted back in 2010, went immediately viral, with a thousand hits both the first and second week, and continues to get […]
  • First “Sunday Summary of Soul Healing” – new weekly feature - This Sunday Summary of Soul Healing I intend to make a weekly series, featuring the most significant of my week’s journal entries including spiritual experiences, disturbing anomalies, accomplishments, and progress on my Big Questions. (My poll here last week said that “personal experiences” was a major interest of my readers.) I plan to keep it short and […]
  • Multiple-ness: What it feels like - Being multiple….  It feels like having a number of holograms of oneself occupying the same body.  Most holograms are connected and coordinated, but oftentimes there’s misconnection, and it’s not so easy to be as graceful in social situations as I’d like to be. But it only sometimes feels like a serious disability.   Often it feels like a super-ability – though not […]
  • First Peek: My Next Memoir on Healing from Mind Control - In 1990, I sat in the center of communications for the radical activist group Tucson Earth First! and networked with many other non-profit organizations in town, including People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, domestic violence organizations, homeless advocates, the parent-teacher association, and had been written up in the daily paper along with a couple […]
  • Twelve years flirting with “shamanic practice” - ~ Twelve years flirting ~ Amazing changes since I quit Twelve years of flirting with “shamanic practice.”  I wouldn’t recommend it. Opening doors to the other dimensions, or recognizing that they were opened somehow, as was my case, and then not acting decisively about it is dangerous.  I’ve documented how dangerous it is all over […]
  • Aliens in American History, Sophia, and our Evolution – a ramble - Written long ago, forgotten, discovered…. Philip Corso, Sr, National Security Advisor to President Eisenhower, said “those of us in the military… had negotiated a kind of surrender with them as long as we couldn’t fight them.” Leaders were forced to negotiate the bad deal “because they knew what we feared most was disclosure.  Hide the […]
  • I Quit! (Doesn’t that feel good?!) - “Too many inspirations” has long been my excuse, as well as my pride, but a couple of months ago, I said, “I quit!” and I really, truly did quit quite a few things: ~ I quit my home and yard design business. ~ I quit singing. ~ I hardly planted anything in the garden. ~ And more I’ll spare you. […]
  • Rob Brezny, oyster pearls, cattle, Archons, and the meaning of MK and life - Rob Brezny’s horoscope for Cancers this week is as entertaining as ever, and it provoked me to revisit a subject I’ve been trying to ignore for twelve years:  the nature of humans as (among other things) mind-controlled and genetically manipulated for the purposes of Others whom we’re mind controlled not to notice or talk about. […]
  • Dragonfly Metaphor: Things might look ugly at first - A month or so ago, we were helping a friend “consciously” die.  It was a wonderful experience that released him from his pain and immobility (which he said was “no way to live,” regularly asking for a shotgun when we inquired what he might need), and brought together a community of friends to support his […]
  • Saved by My Journal/Notebook! -  “I’ve been like a balloon in a storm for twenty-one years, and finally I’ve set down!” – Benefits – How it works:  Journal pages and Daily Check Sheets – Additional pages:  Alter descriptions, DAAA, to-do’s, scribbles, art pages, meditation help. – Finishing a “Chapter”   I really love my Journal/Notebook – the one I wrote […]
  • No longer a shamanic practitioner - I mean no disrespect to shamanic practitioners, but I have just become aware of how unproductive, and maybe spiritually vulnerable, that attempted practice has been for me.  Yesterday, I stood at my alter, before an overwhelming clutter of totems of various animals that have played a significant role in my life, many totems of some […]
  • A New Healing Practice! - This was posted originally at my MKGarden Healing Church blog. I’ll explain the practice in a moment.  But first let me share my journal entry – written just now – about it: I love this timer and this practice!! I LOVE knowing what I’ve done all day.  I used to have to ask Greg, or struggle to […]
  • Gov’t-Controlled Communications - Back in the late 90s, I read a memoir,  FBI Secrets:  An Agent’s Exposé, by retired agent, M. Wesley Swearingen, who after 26 years in the agency was involved in several successful lawsuits against the FBI related to wrongful imprisonment and civil rights violations.  (He was also involved in several successful lawsuits against his former employer, including […]
  • Personal Shamanism & My History with Ritual - (Originally posted on Garden Healing Church.) I’ve always had extreme resistance to ritual. I have memories of leaving Mormon “Children’s Church” in a state of vile hatred, glancing back with a scowl that couldn’t be dark enough.  No memory of what that was about, but I guess it had something to do with ritual. As a young […]
  • Learning through the Pain - I’m recovering, yet again, from another “hard day,” Monday, when I woke up at 10 am (I’d been unable to sleep until 3 am) and had to force myself to do anything, which turned out to be very little. Eight days earlier, on August 17, I’d discovered a strange injury on my left shoulder blade, […]
  • Dolphin Healing and a Tourmaline Necklace - In 2006, at the end of two weeks of swimming with dolphins from boats, two friends and I went to Kealakekua Bay where people can wade out and swim with dolphins who come in to swim with people.  We waded out and, just as promised, the dolphins came in and engaged us in play that […]
  • Two circle bruises appear - Twenty-six days ago, on July 21, I discovered a doughnut-shaped bruise on the back of my thigh. It was oddly painless, and I have no idea how I might have done that to myself. I found myself telling Greg it reminded me of an audio electrical plug, with one electrical pole, positive or negative, in […]
  • Dragonfly Birth Day - [This photo-essay was first posted on my (MK) Garden Healing Church site:  http://gardenhealingchurch.org/2014/08/14/dragonfly-birth-day/.] My partner and I are supporting a friend in the process of dying. I’ve been feeling myself drawn toward this sort of work for a decade, and now the time has arrived. I’m amazed at how calm I feel and comfortable with […]
  • Shamanism, Mind Control, Christ, “Aliens,” and Me - [This no longer reflects my views on shamanism and Yeshua.  For an update, see this blog.] What is shamanism?  How do I relate to shamanism?  Is shamanism dangerous?  How does it relate to mind control?  Am I a shaman?  Am I dangerous?  Where does Jesus fit in?  Who are “aliens”? First, What is shamanism? Shamanism exists […]
  • Three Days in Darkness - Of course, we all know, or we’ve all heard, that spiritual progress on this human plane is never really “done,” and so I think it’s the same with healing, although certain aspects of healing may be accomplished, we always have more, and we’ll certainly experience more that must be healed. So I think I shouldn’t […]
  • Re-edited Videos and “Shaman Winter” - Last week, thinking I was dying, the most important thing I wanted to do was update my latest video series.  So I worked to accomplish that. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKGE0Kuc-QU&list=PLPo7-F8Erey5SwKjn7ssWFy-6TCQYs33I This feels like my most important life work to finish up, my best contribution to the world for understanding mind control, so I appreciate you taking the time […]
  • Heart Problems – I assume from Electroshock and Tasering - Just went to the doctor yesterday for blood tests and EKG.  (I don’t follow their prescriptions, but I appreciate their tests.) My blood work was essentially normal, but my heart is not functioning properly.  I have “stage 1” something (I’ll take better notes when I talk again with her next) – the first chamber of […]
  • Wow! Feel and Heal! - Remember that old saying, “Gotta feel to heal”? I felt so much yesterday, I could barely see.  It hurt to walk.  I wanted to die. Today, I feel better and understand quite a few things. I had just extracted numbers from my journal of the last 6 months and was not surprised to see the […]
  • Hit again - Oh, God, I’ve been hit again.  In the last 6 months, I’ve felt terrible about two weeks of every month, and I felt really bad yesterday: my vision clouded, my joints in pain, my mood so depressed, all I could think was that I didn’t want to live anymore. Decided to review and collate my […]
  • The Struggle to Heal from Mind Control - Twelve years ago, while living rurally as a hermit in Cochise County, Arizona, I realized I was a mind control subject – and I mean in a manner more intense than the ubiquitous birth trauma-television-education-news-political propaganda type of generalized mind control; I mean the MKULTRA-type of trauma-based mind programming done to unwitting adults and children […]
  • A Church for Mind Control Victims - “I’ve been waiting for something to happen For a week or a month or a year With the blood in the ink of the headlines And the sound of the crowd in my ear.” — Jackson Browne, Lives in the Balance (Greg and I have been singing this song almost endlessly for weeks.) Last Full Moon, […]
  • Energized to Speak So Much Truth! - Originally posted on Garden Healing Church:
    “I’ve been waiting for something to happen For a week or a month or a year With the blood in the ink of the headlines And the sound of the crowd in my ear.” — Jackson Browne, Lives in the Balance (Greg and I have been singing that endlessly the…
  • “Obey the Doctor” Programming - I’d like to talk about unnecessary medical procedures, done either by coercion or without one’s knowledge.I was subjected to dental care recently that was so weird I can only call it psychotic.  And it relates to some previous treatment done without warning that I will call the same. A friend told me, “You’re the third person I’ve heard in […]
  • Mind Control Just “What Is”? - This essay is an exploration of the idea that mind control is painful and traumatic to individuals and society, but is not evil and may be no more of a tragedy than a garden plant being transplanted and having its root tips broken off to rot and die.  (This is my philosopher self, trying hard […]
  • Part III: “Aliens” in My Life - These three parts, plus the two introductions before them, will be followed soon by my first attempt to clarify what I believe are the relationships between beings we call “spiritual,” beings we call “alien,” and mind control. Background:  Ignorance  I have to put “aliens” in quotation marks because that’s the word our culture uses, but […]
  • Part II: Overview of a Life with Mind Control - I realize that by hitting the Publish button, I could bring on the controllers’ wrath, but I’ll do it anyway.  Truth feels more important today than my comfort. (Please read Part I first, as well as the two introductions that precede.) Mind control is finally becoming an accepted fact in America. It is a terribly […]
  • Part I: Overview of a Spiritual Life - I’ll break this introduction roughly into the three parts – three categories of experience that have long been the best way I could figure to begin wrapping my head around the overwhelming complexity and weirdness of it all.  The three categories have been: Spirit, “alien” (a terribly deficient word), and mind control. In this Part […]
  • Overcoming Challenges to Telling the Whole Truth - I envy people whose stories are simpler than mine, perhaps involving just one sort of alien – especially a helpful sort who conveys spiritual wisdom and encouragement.  That would be very nice. I’m fortunate to have also had those sorts of positive “alien” experiences, and to also have had profound spiritual experiences since early childhood.  […]
  • Everything in Its Time - A common truism is that sometimes we need to step away from a problem, sometimes for a long period of time, before we can return to it and perceive it correctly. For years, I have been keenly aware of my “problem” of interpreting my “anomalous” life experiences, and was very open to information and ideas, […]
  • Multiple-ness: What it Feels Like - What it feels like to be multiple Being multiple = being fractured into multiple holograms of oneself, each with very different approaches to life.  Parts can been coordinated, but they’re not always graceful. Only sometimes, now, do I think of being multiple as necessarily a disability.  It can be that.  But it also often feels like […]
  • Gist of an Alien Message - The core message of an experience and message 18 months ago: (An explanation for this re-re-posting is below.  Since I am as cynical of “messages” as anyone, I am very open to critical feedback and discussion.) The gist of the message I received was this: Humans are a flawed design, but don’t feel bad about it, because so […]
  • 7 1/2 years since my hermitage - It’s been 7 1/2 years since I left my 7-year hermitage on the western slope of the Chiricahua Mountains in southeastern Arizona and moved to the town of Silver City, New Mexico, to recreate my life. I’d been experiencing bizarre, confusing, and sublime events for years, some seeming like alien and UFO contact, some that […]
  • Sources of Power III: Tribe - We are only half-creating our “own” evolution; someone else is tending us as their garden.  Sometimes the gardener really rips things up.  But we’re more than plants to these gardeners; we’re also their children, carrying some of their DNA.  (Just like Jesus said, calling us his children.  He also called himself our shepherd and us […]
  • Sources of Power IV: Opposition - Every religion has a true foundation that has been skewed throughout history.  His story. And every religion offers clues to our planet’s past visits by extra-dimensional and/or extra-planetary people.  And they’re also right that we are in a spiritual battle. We may be someone’s stock.  And, we are half-creators.  It’s a dynamic struggle – just […]
  • Sources of Power VIII: Consciousness - Today we accepted an invitation to see a movie next week at a friend’s house, to watch and discuss a video titled, Healing Mother Earth’s Sacred Sites.  The video, I was told, is about the community around Big Bear Lake in California that worked with a local Shoshone medicine man to bring different sorts of […]
  • Sources of Power VII: Clarity - Yesterday we watched a video that summed up why I’m so ready for change and what we’ve both felt for most of our adulthoods about the charade that is our politics and culture, though the video filled in the gaps in our history, proving our guts were correct.  We watched  Secrets in Plain Sight. Satisfying, […]
  • Sources of Power VI: Choice - While my partner read the last chapter of Botany of Desire aloud, I felt calling from the bookshelf the 1998 Pulitzer Prize-winning book by John McPhee, Annals of a Former World – nominally about geology. The book opens with this: The poles of the Earth have wandered.  The equator has apparently moved.  The continents, perched […]
  • Sources of Power V: Ancestors - Alien gods, gardeners, shepherds, ranchers, controllers of our genetics, teachers, war-makers, plague makers, prophets – different sides of our ancestry. We are the same to others.  We control a great deal of the living biota of this planet, plants and animals, even in our furthest reaches.  Nothing can escape the DDT we’ve spread.  Animals live […]
  • Sources of Power II: History - …Listening and reading, I couldn’t help but think about another book we read months ago, Twelfth Planet, by Zecharia Sitchin, an unimpeachable Sumerian scholar, who lays out his research in translating tens of thousands of texts which tell a credible history of humanity as creations of the Annunaki, an inner-planetary race of people the Sumerians […]
  • Sources of Power I: Half-gods - One of the most wonderful parts of my life these days has been reading aloud in the evenings with my partner.  We often read more than one book at once, and sometimes the synergy is exciting. We just finished reading The Botany of Desire by Michael Pollan – an exquisite depiction of humans throughout time […]
  • Not From Here - I used to call myself an Earth First!er.  But now I’m not sure. In November 1999, I drove from Colorado Springs, where I’d been a realtor for 3 years, to Tucson to pick up three old friends and drive with them to Arizona’s Cabeza Prieta Wilderness on the Mexican border. We were meeting up with […]
  • “Armed with Visions” - America is “First” in 1)  percentage of population which believes, but won’t publicly enter into discussion on, numerous things that affect them in political, social, economic, psychological, health, and other ways, but instead chose to be silent and let themselves and others suffer, and 2) people who think it’s absolutely true that we are the […]
  • Interpreting the “Orange Alien” Experience - Hey Everyone, Again, I think this might be my final post, in which I’ll sum up the meaning of my “Orange Alien” experience and place it in the context of my cosmology and spirituality. I am now certain that the event was a mind control operation, either for testing my programming, updating the programming, installing […]

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