The usual interpretation of mind controllers is that they are psychopathic, predatory, sexual perverts, Satanic, demonic, or something else, in any case trying to rob people of their souls or at the very least rob them of their life energy to use them for the controllers’ own purposes.
I’ve lived with variations on this theory since 2002, and it’s very unpleasant to contemplate every time I’ve woken up with a bruise, scoop mark, surgical scar (sometimes oddly healed), Taser burn, etc. The terror of this weird unknown has pushed me to the point of wishing I could die more often than I can count.
Obviously, I haven’t wanted to continue to be their pawn in a game of – I don’t even know what, because I’m amnesic for it.
Something recently caused me to try to perceive “outside the box” of my current theories – and all the other theories I’ve explored, which are all pretty much unanimously upsetting if not terrifying.
A chance to reconsider my interpretation might have come about through my gardening.
I know my plants are living, sensitive beings, and yet I’ve been guilty of treating them poorly. Sometimes I put off watering too long, or delay feeding them nutrients they need. Or I prune them without cleaning and sharpening my tools. Or I transplant them at the wrong time or otherwise in such a way that they don’t survive.
And I wonder what they think of me. Do they think I’m evil?
And so I began to wonder if the mind controllers might not be evil psychopaths, or demons, but simply the equivalent of lousy gardeners.
I even tried to imagine that I might be a creative spirit on other dimensions, working with a team of beings, and together we imagined trying to amp up the human potential by splitting individuals into parts, as we’d noticed that natural “split personalities” seem able to multiply their intellectual interests and capacities. We developed our theory, believed that pain could be ameliorated with amnesia, and thought we had a useful idea. And I volunteered to be a guinea pig. Or I drew the short straw. Whatever. Just a theory. But I can imagine it.
To be honest, and for complete disclosure, the worst of my strange experiences has suddenly, quite dramatically, ceased earlier this year, for what reason I don’t know (though I can guess, but am not ready to share that guess). For quite a long time, I’d been having at least two weird events, usually what I call “injection bruises,” every single week, and there were also many weeks when I was totally devastated, exhausted, depressed to the point of wanting to die, and felt fairly good for nothing. And suddenly it stopped, earlier this year.
But the upsetting stuff had gone on for so very long that I don’t know if this is just a temporary reprieve and it’ll begin again, or if they really did “put me out to pasture” as I’ve been expecting they should, now that I’m in my 60s.
Whatever is the case, a fear response doesn’t go away easily. I don’t know if I’ll ever relax from it, though I certainly try.
Even though I’m symptom free now and have been for months, I am still fascinated by this subject. What does it mean? What is the nature of our reality that we can be amnesic for things that cause pain, and have serious, photographable wounds?
I’ve been open to other theories for a very long time. And in all my years of blogging and receiving responses from people all over the world, the greatest number of people confirm my experiences with similar ones of their own, and few offer a “comforting” response.
Some people have theorized – and this is one of the “more comforting” ideas – that one of my alternate personalities is creating the wounds on myself at night. I can imagine this being the case for something simple like what I’ve called “injection bruises” which always appeared on one of my thighs, usually the front.
But I can’t figure out how anyone could create the scoop marks – on my right hand.
Or the third-degree “Taser” burn – on my right arm.
Or the “thyroid surgery” scar, healed, that appeared one morning on my neck, and which a nurse questioned me about ten years later (I didn’t mention, but she saw the scar which she said was just like her thyroid scar)!
Do I have a violent, left-handed alternate personality who wants to hurt me? And who has access to technology beyond what any of us understand – that can take surgical scoop biopsies and make scars heal overnight?
How about the “beam” that hit me while talking on the phone with a friend, that left a huge bruise on the side/back of my leg? (Which I didn’t photograph for two weeks – why? Because I was mind controlled not to? Don’t know.)
As strange as it may all be, I think I’d rather accept the theory that some trans-dimensional (spiritual) being is doing all this.
I REALLY don’t like the idea of it being CIA, even though there’s 100,000 pages of released government documents and CIA director testimony to Congress to support it. Maybe I should just stop there.
But I want another theory. Maybe just so that doctors will respect it and help me rather than label me “delusional.”
Am I in denial? Maybe…. But nearly everyone in my life wants me to deny it. My own flesh and blood deny it and won’t speak to me of it.
Strangers around the world support me in the CIA (and Satanist) assumptions. My book and these hundreds of pages on this site all support the same assumption. And yet I wish for another explanation. I guess I’m in denial.
Or maybe I can theorize that, yes, even though the CIA is involved, they’re under the direction of Bad Gardeners in the Cosmos.
What do you think?