Learning through the Pain

I’m recovering, yet again, from another “hard day,” Monday, when I woke up at 10 am (I’d been unable to sleep until 3 am) and had to force myself to do anything, which turned out to be very little.

DSC05256Eight days earlier, on August 17, I’d discovered a strange injury on my left shoulder blade, where two other things have mysteriously appeared in the last couple of years, which still bother me:

In April 2012, I woke one morning with an itch on my left shoulder blade that didn’t go away for 4-8 weeks.  (Greg was bothered by an itch on his left shoulder blade too at the same time, but I’m more highly sensitive and so was bothered longer.)

Later, a fan-shaped bruise appeared, with its point right where the itch had been for so long.  I theorized that an implant was radiating some sort of energy that was bruising the tissue.

Over two years has passed, and the bruise has become a more-amorphous shape, but is still there, and doctors have no explanation.  (Well, one had an idea, but the diagnosis didn’t fit the condition’s description, and the next doctor thought the first was wrong, but had no idea.  She’s seen all my photographs, read about MK, and just shakes her head.)

When I woke with this strange injury on August 17, very near where the original itch had been, I wondered if perhaps “they” had scooped it out, or replaced it, and whether the bruise will soon fade.  We’ll see.

The photo above shows the new injury and the two-year-old bruise.  (Double click on it to see it larger, and you can even zoom in for decent detail.)  I took this photo last night, August 26, a full nine days after it appeared, and it has hardly healed at all.

This is interesting, because most of my weird  injuries heal mysteriously fast – like the “thyroid surgery” scar, which showed up on my throat one morning entirely healed).  Can’t explain it, other than that it seems like someone with higher technology than ours might have done it.

Learning:  I Need to Focus

Now that I’m feeling stronger, I went back through a journal only a week old and read things I’ve totally forgotten – things important to remember, about my healing.  And reading my posts from two years ago, I realize they also contain great advice I wish I’d remembered and continued to practice!

Therefore, I’ve decided I need to quit doing so much and just focus on my healing.  

So I’m quitting!

I’m quitting a lot of things.  I’m quitting my garden design workshop and consulting business.  I’m quitting singing.  And I’m forgetting any idea to get part-time work.  (I’ll get my first Social Security check next month, and I have a partner who brings in a little income, so I have this luxury.)

The only things I’ll keep doing are my own personal healing work and writing related to it.  I also plan to keep better track of past writing, so I can remember past lessons and make some progress.

I’m – maybe for the first time in my life – going to make taking care of myself my number one priority every day.  Yeah!

Blessings on us all.

And really:  Take care of yourself.

Jean

~

PS:  Here’s a blog I wrote two years ago with similar conclusions:  https://paradigmsalon.net/2012/04/13/tired-of-this/

2 thoughts on “Learning through the Pain

  1. jer

    Fantastic! That sounds good Jean. My dad always said: “take care of yourself, and everything else will take care of itself”. I think it was Janis Joplin that said something like: “don’t sacrifice yourself, it’s the only thing you have”. There are a lot of those old sayings that point us in that direction. I say: “Love the shit out of things!” It’s all I’ve got for now Jean… I Love You completely, jer

    Sent from my iPad

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