These three parts, plus the two introductions before them, will be followed soon by my first attempt to clarify what I believe are the relationships between beings we call “spiritual,” beings we call “alien,” and mind control.
I have to put “aliens” in quotation marks because that’s the word our culture uses, but it needs a lot of explanation.
Alien means strange, of course. We mean it, in this arena, to refer to beings from another planet. But there are also aliens who live on or in our Earth, maybe on another dimension. They’re terrestrial like us. But different, alien. Some aliens look just like us. And there is much history from religions and ancient texts all over the planet that says we were created by beings from elsewhere – aliens – who used some of their DNA to create us – making them our relatives, not strangers.
So we need new nomenclature. But for now, I’ll use this deficient word regarding these strange relatives.
I was never interested in aliens or UFO’s until 2003/2004 when I had shocking experiences that seemed like what others had already described. I never watched Star Trek. And once I dumped a man I’d been interested in immediately after he brought up the subject. I was embarrassed that he had said that word aloud in a cafe!
Much later, I realized that I rationally believed in their likelihood for most of my adult life and had even argued for their possibility in college against a professor who wanted to denounce the idea; I just didn’t want to talk about them because the subject was ridiculed, I didn’t want to be ridiculed, and I believed they had nothing to do with me, so why talk about them?
Thinking back, though, I remember one silly event: being on a beach with my first husband and some of his friends who brought up the subject, when we all stood with our arms in the air for a half-minute and said, “If you’re real, we’d like to meet you.” Nothing happened (I think), and that was the end of that.
Other than this, I remained blissfully ignorant of the subject and that event was the full extent of my interest in this subject for most of my life, until 2000 or so.
First Event: Crop Circles and Highway Stop – forgotten
During the first year or so of my 7-year desert hermitage, I took a 60-mile trip to Bisbee, Arizona, to attend a movie at the public library about crop circles. I’d heard they had interesting mathematical formulas associated with them, and I was into math, and for some reason their connection with aliens had completely escaped me – or I’d chosen to ignore it.
When the movie was over, I was dumbfounded to hear everyone talking about aliens. It had not been part of the movie, and I had not gotten the connection.
On the way home, winding through the foothills, facing a long drive home, I suddenly experienced a bright light shining in my eyes, making it extremely hazardous to drive. The idea of a space ship came to mind, and I scolded myself that I shouldn’t imagine such a stupid thing just because I’d just heard people talking about them. Anxiously, I thought of alternative explanations and decided that it must be a Border Patrol helicopter irresponsibly shining a very bright light into my windshield. I was angry and planning my call to the BP the next morning. The light was so bright, I thought I should pull over, as it was extremely difficult to see, but instead I only slowed down. I didn’t want the BP to ruin my night, and I had a long way to go, so I held one hand up to shield my squinting eyes, with one hand on the wheel to negotiate the curves.
Finally reaching a straightaway, I saw the BP tower and realized that the brilliant light was sitting on top of it, so I decided that this stationary light must have malfunctioned, gone dangerously super-bright for some reason, and created this situation. I amended the scolding I would give the BP.
The tower sat near the corner of two highways where I made a turn, and immediately after I did, I spontaneously pulled off the road to look at the light. After a few seconds (I thought), I drove home. The next day, I decided not to call the BP, a little concerned that they might tell me nothing was wrong with the tower. Years later, I would realize that the BP tower is impossible to see from the winding road inside the foothills.
Another morning (not sure how long after), I woke up with a thought so startling that I sat immediately bolt upright – just like a comedy routine – with this idea: being out here alone in the desert (where I’d been very happy and felt mostly safe until this moment) makes me very vulnerable. I looked out the array of south facing (passive solar) windows, curtains open that summer morning, and felt/thought: a “space ship” (something I never thought about) could land out there amongst the mesquites, and aliens could come right up to my windows … and look in. But those last words I said to myself felt like a lie, as I had to squelch an image of aliens, not looking in, but coming through the window. Immediately, I jumped out of bed – not my usual lazy way – telling myself I must have had a weird dream, and got busy, forgetting that idea as well as I could.
A man came to live with me after three years of living alone, and one night while he was working late, I went to bed by myself in the bathhouse, a separate building, part of which we’d turned into a bedroom. I woke up after a little while to a racket, with the idea that a washing machine was out of balance with a heavy load – but I didn’t have a washing machine. The bed was shaking, and I realized a metal bed frame stored under my bed was making a racket on the concrete floor. I was momentarily alarmed, then a calm part of me seemed to recognize the vibration and said, “Oh, this….” as if it was something familiar and comfortable, and I lay back down and “fell asleep.”
I’d had a very similar experience at the Judi Bari v FBI trial (which I forgot to recount in Part II on mind control), and so the next morning I thought that this was the FBI intruding into my life again, and I was very upset. To quell my nerves, I decided to sit and read a book for awhile before getting to some work I needed to do for a client.
I pulled a book off the shelf – randomly, I thought – and sat down to read Whitley Strieber’s Communion, which I’d read years ago; I’d found it in a used bookstore for $2 and decided to see why this was a #1 bestseller. I’d found his account credible but, thankfully, nothing I needed to think about, and I forgot it. Suddenly, though, in the first pages, I realized Strieber was describing events that seemed terribly similar to what I’d just experienced. I could barely spit the words out to my partner, alien being such an embarrassing idea, so ridiculed. I did not want this!
Events keep happening
For awhile I had experiences a couple or three times a week, always aware only that I was vibrating, then falling asleep, and I’d wake up wondering what had happened. I often wondered if they were alien or government harassment – or a joint project.
Whitley, at that time, was calling them “the visitors,” not differentiating between helpful and subjugating aliens, and told of inviting them into one’s life to learn spiritual truths. So I began to try to open to the idea, while also asking them to let me be conscious, reasoning that only someone up to no good would keep whatever was going on secret from me. The sensations of being taken continued, and I was never conscious – except once for a short while.
Stopping the events
One day I got the idea that maybe some of the aliens weren’t good for us, and I prayed a different prayer: I ask my spiritual helpers, if these events are good for me, to let me be conscious so I can learn, and if these events are not good for me, to please stop them. And I never had one of those experiences again, but others continued until I became more serious about developing spiritual protection.
Consciously up in the air
Next I began to ask my spiritual helpers to simply help me understand more of what’s going on here, and to let me meet them and be conscious. One night I woke up as I was passing through the canvas of the teepee that we’d begun to sleep in. I felt myself rising, upright, into the night sky, though I didn’t look around me or down, as some experiencers report. I was grateful for being conscious, and began to thank them and prepare myself for whatever surprise I might experience. I was so excited – and amused to find myself immobilized – I was close to laughing, but wanted to be calm and collected for this auspicious meeting, so I quelled the laughter and tried to prepare.
Suddenly I seemed to hit a portal which spun me around and propelled me out to my left, and shortly after I hit another portal which spun me around again and propelled me out to my right, about 60 degrees behind the first trajectory. Fascinated, I memorized these details and returned to preparing myself for the meeting.
I woke up the next morning, disappointed that they hadn’t allowed me to remember, but absolutely certain that the experience had occurred. Not long after, I read of someone else describing exactly the same experience of going up into something like a portal, emerging to the left, then emerging to the right 60 degrees behind! I wanted to write it down, but felt strongly afraid that I was being watched by the government and didn’t want to let them know what I knew, so I didn’t, and I’ve deeply regretted losing that source of information.
One weekend, my partner and I decided to attend a “shamanic” gathering (increasingly common event, it seems) on the south end of the Dragoon Mountains. On the way there, we saw a miles-long, spaceship-shaped cloud materialize seemingly out of nowhere south of the range. Typically, large clouds of this shape can form over a mountain, from the moisture given off by the trees, but this formed in front of us in the valley south of the mountains. We were quite excited, especially as it wasn’t just shaped vaguely like a spaceship, but was very smoothly and quite exactly shaped, with a horizontal rim circling its wide center. A smaller version, perhaps a tenth the length, also formed alongside the first. We watched them for at least a half-hour as we traveled toward and then under one end of the longest one. When we got to the camp, I was suddenly overpowered with the need to sleep, at 10 am. I did, and woke up certain that “something had happened” – but with no memory.
Typical UFO sighting
On the way home the next night, we saw a bright light move very fast and low, just a few degrees above the horizon, straight and swift from north to south in front of the Chiricahua Mountains, which are about 10 miles long. We immediately estimated the time it took to travel that distance – about three seconds – then did the math at home and came up with thousands of miles per hour.
Another night, at home, we heard a loud roaring sound and assumed it was Air Force jets on maneuvers, flying very low over the house, as we had experienced them doing that frequently. Since we had to get up early the next morning for work and I didn’t want my body flooded with angry adrenaline when I needed to sleep, we decided to ignore it as best we could – then we were very alarmed to hear what sounded like a jet flying just a few feet over the house, or so it seemed by the extreme way it made the windows rattle. I willed myself to say in bed, not get angry at the Air Force, and deal with it later.
The next night we heard the same thing approaching, and since we didn’t have to work the next day, we flew out of bed to see exactly how low the jets were so I could report them. To our great surprise, there were no jets anywhere to be seen, even though the windows of the house were rattling furiously. We were dumbfounded – our senses of sound and sight were not jiving! Then my partner pointed to three lights high in the sky, one pale green, one pale orange, and one … I forget. I said it was impossible for them to be causing the vibration. He said, “That’s not three jets. That’s a huge triangle! See, there’s no stars inside the three lights.”
I can’t say I verified that. I have no memory of anything but hearing him say those words, feeling tremendous dismay – this what not the life I thought I signed up for – and walking back into the house to write in my journal.
Another night, we had friends come visit and gave them our teepee to sleep in. When we all went out together to get them acquainted with the space, I ducked inside first and immediately heard my partner and the other man exclaim with great amazement about something then exclaim again with greater excitement. I came out, having missed it, as did the other woman who was looking in the wrong direction, and listened to them both describe having seen a bright light cruising across the sky in the direct of Elfrida, when it suddenly exploded, and a green luminous disk shot out at an angle to the ground.
I insisted my partner draw of picture of it the next day. (Photo at the top of this blog.)
We wondered whether it was natural, like a meteor, or a UFO, and why it had exploded. Because of everything that had been happening, we tended toward the UFO explanation, and wondered whether the military had shot it down, and whether we might hear some reconnaissance activity. In bed about 45 minutes later, we heard a very deep rumbling sound coming south down the highway and surmised that a military reconnaissance was indeed going on. I wished I had the courage to go play spy, but because of my fear of the military as mind controllers, I stayed in bed. A couple of hours later, we were awakened to hear the loud, deep rumbling sound traveling back north on the highway. Of course, we imagined a huge flatbed vehicle with something under a big tarp.
One afternoon, relaxing by the creek in the teepee, I was surprised by a very strong wind that came up quickly. It continued to gain such force that I became afraid that something totally outside recent human experience was about to happen: a pole shift or something else equally cataclysmic. I grabbed the few things I wanted to take with me and leaned hard into the wind to be able to stay on my feet as I walked back the hundred feet to my home. It was frightening. Back in the house, my partner and I watched the sudden dust storm in amazement, which, as suddenly as it had picked up, died down again a few minutes later.
The phone rang, and our neighbor asked if we’d seen “the thing in the foothills.” She wasn’t sure what she’d seen, but described it first as “a biplane, or maybe more like a corral, only it wasn’t on the ground, it was in the air.” I suggested a UFO, and she seemed very embarrassed to be associated with the idea, and said no. Later, we read (and it is interesting how many times we’d read about things serendipitously within a day or two after having an experience) about UFO’s often being associated with strange weather, including sudden storms that obscure them.
Dancing ball of light
One night, driving home from visiting this neighbor, I saw a brilliant ball of light, seemingly the size of a basketball, dancing around in the air about thirty feet ahead of me, bouncing from ten feet off the ground to twenty feet high, staying ahead of me, moving in chaotic, playful ways.
Another typical UFO
Another night, lying on the roof to sleep where I had years ago been lifted off in rapture (see my Part I about spirit), I saw a bright light travel in a seemingly perfectly straight line for a few seconds from above the foothills to above the valley where it seemed to disappear. It had been low enough in the sky to light up the interior of some low clouds. Immediately, I established what I thought would be coordinates for the point when I first saw it and the point where it disappeared and carefully considered the time it seemed to take. The next morning, I checked the map and established its speed – again in the thousands of miles per hour.
Another night, sitting on the roof, I saw what seemed to be a triangle far to the south, apparently near Douglas, Arizona, near the border, traveling east to west. I watched as it seemed to be escorted by two jets, then saw to the west two more jets approach and take over the escort as the first two jets turned around the traveled back east.
I was so certain of what I saw that I called the only friend in the area to alert him. He lived in Tucson and had told us he often watched for them, but he couldn’t see it from there, and that makes sense to me now. Within a few days, I’d come across a reference to large triangle UOF’s often being escorted by Air Force jets.
My only alien sighting
I have seen only one alien, and only briefly (not including three sightings that seemed to be with paranormal vision, which I’ll get to later).
I was getting ready for sleep in the bathhouse again, my partner facing an all-night writing project under deadline, keeping him in the house, when I suddenly felt that I’d been hit between the eyebrows by a perfectly round beam of some sort of energy. At first, I’d tried to tell myself I had just seen lightning out the window, but I had a distinct feeling about the angle of the beam, that it was downward at about a 45-degree angle through the eave and wall, not through a window.
Realizing I was immobilized, I was immediately alarmed and just as immediately had the idea to pray, but realized, also immediately, that I was not only immobilized, but also unable to pray – even silently – in words that didn’t sound like they were on tape being caught and stretched in an old recorder. My first word was Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuz…..
As I lay there, I saw in both the window to my left and the glass reflection on a piece of art on my right: a being walking by. Since we lived far out in the desert, no one should have been walking by the building, so I became further terrified, especially as I realized the being didn’t seem to be walking, but gliding, and seemed also to be very thin and tall. My mind was going crazy with the idea that I was being controlled and made unable to even pray, so I imagined my spiritual Helpers in the sky above me and mentally “tossed” my grave need from my heart to them before I went unconscious.
The next morning, I realized that it had a new moon and there had been an overcast sky, so there was no natural light to have allowed me to have seen any being. Soon after I read an account of an aliens vehicle casting light during an encounter.
While that was the only alien I recall ever seeing with normal vision, I had three other experiences I can only describe as seeing clairvoyantly.
One afternoon, when my partner was gone on an errand, I was overcome with an unusual feeling that I must lie down, and so I went into the teepee and “crashed.” I woke up to the sound of someone dragging their back under the arched canvas doorway – which seemed strange, because this was my partner’s teepee, he’d lived in teepees for twelve years, and certainly never dragged his back under the archway. Maybe he was being lazy? I waited for him to say something or come and lie down. I didn’t turn my head to look at him, as I felt so tired.
A knee seemed to press down on the bed next to me, and I assumed my partner would climb over, and then I thought I’d say hi to him. To my surprise, something hard was pressed against the back of my skull, something smallish, which triggered a most unusual imagination in my mind: a claw, and then a whole being emerged in my mind’s eye: a very large reptilian being.
With that, I became immediately terrified and tried to scream, but realized my voice box was immobilized, but it seemed I could still register the effect of a scream on my face to let the being know I absolutely objected to whatever he was doing, and so I “screamed bloody murder” with my face and no sound. I remembered nothing more.
When my partner returned, he found me groggy in the teepee, and I told him what had happened. He tried to encourage me that it probably wasn’t a reptilian. He said he felt the energy and thought it more military (which would have meant mind control – not necessarily a better interpretation) – and also asked if he thought it was “just a nightmare.” It had felt real, and besides I believe nightmares may be real in some way and not “just nightmares.”
Later, a friend told us that he’d had a terrifying experience camping in the Huachuca Mountains, not far away to the west, above Fort Huachuca, a major intelligence center for the Air Force. He hadn’t wanted to be on the side of the Fort, but a storm had forced him to take shelter on that side. In the middle of the night, he woke suddenly, feeling as if he were being “searched for mentally” by a being he felt strongly was reptilian – even though he’d never believed in such things. The sense of it was so real and so terrifying, that he hastily scrambled out of this tent, took it down, and carried it under his arm as he climbed up the ridge and down on the other side, quaking with fear the entire time.
Years later, another friend who did contract work with the Air Force said that he one saw a reptilian dressed in a military uniform on that base.
One night, sitting on the sofa next to the fire, reading a book, my partner sitting beside, I suddenly saw a reptilian child in a dimension that seemed to reveal itself right before me in this dimension. It seemed to be in a womb or other egg-shaped enclosure, looking at me, almost batting her eyelids coyly, as if to flirt and express love. I was dumbfounded, and the vision faded away.
I hate to admit how this next event came about, as it seems so akin to “possession,” but this will explain why I am so cautious about aliens now, and why I have returned, despite my disinterest in being part of the Christian Church, to a relationship with the Spiritual Teacher we call Jesus.
I’d been having strange physical experiences that felt like energy pouring into the back of my neck, which felt wonderful, stretching the fibers of muscles, like a healthy yawn, only throughout my body and far more exhilarating. I came to jokingly called the experiences “my Hulk routine,” reminiscent of the old TV show of my teen years. The energy flow would cause me to hunch forward when the energy was beginning to pour into my back, then it would move me in different ways to help it flow throughout my limbs. It felt great, usually took about a minute to complete, and when it was over I went back to whatever I was doing. Usually it happened in the evenings.
One night, this routine happened again, but this time I suddenly and quite clearly sensed an intelligence looking out through my left eye! “He” looked at my fireplace hearth, which I had created with friends and loved very much, as if he knew how much I loved it, and I could feel his derisive judgement that it wasn’t much.
I was shocked to feel someone else’s opinion and eyesight inside my body and thought immediately of “possession,” but this didn’t feel like something to be afraid of; I thought it might be something like that, for which I should do some fast spiritual protection and ejection – if I knew for sure – but I didn’t want to freak out, so I decided just to assess the situation for a moment.
I asked, “Who are you?”
Immediately, he projected himself outside of me as a small reptilian guy, squatting down, which I thought was to emphasize his smallness and make me less afraid of him. He didn’t answer (which I thought a good spiritual being should), but instead simply said, “You need me.”
“Why?” I asked.
“Because you are so naive.”
My partner then asked me a question, and I said brusquely, “I need some private time.”
Instead of giving me that – which had been an issue in our relationship – he began to badger me about our relationship and how I needed too much alone time and didn’t give enough time to him. Rather than tell him what I was going through – especially since I wasn’t sure what it was – I tried to just demand quiet for a short while, but he wouldn’t give it.
While I felt this being inside me observing, and I observed it with half my attention, I argued with my partner about my need for alone time right now, and the need for relationship time, and whether or not I was neglecting our relationship or he was needing to much. We went around and around til it seemed we argued for over an hour – and I’m not generally a person who argues.
Eventually I was very interested to feel the being inside me beginning to laugh. He thought our argument was hilarious!
I was quite sure I had articulated my case very well, but my partner had been switching tactics, badgering, insulting, changing topics, and generally using ploys that are not fair game in a fair relationship.
Suddenly I realized the alien inside thought I was ridiculous for treating the argument with such respect that I answered every question and demand as carefully and thoughtfully as I could. He didn’t think it warranted my respect, and he wanted to laugh.
I had never laughed at a partner during an argument, but this being clearly felt the argument was going in circles and didn’t deserve the respect I was giving it. Suddenly, I saw it too and couldn’t resist the being’s desire to laugh, and I burst out laughing – right in the middle of something my partner was earnestly saying.
He stopped speaking, shocked that I had been so rude, for the first time in our relationship.
I told him I needed to sit down and get back to my spiritual work because a being had come into me during the last “Hulk routine” and I had to determine who in the world he was and whether this was something I should be worried about and maybe kick him out.
“You’ve been possessed!” he said with alarm, “I knew you’d never laugh at me like that.”
“I don’t know,” I responded, “but I want to find out, because nothing like this has ever happened to me before, and I agree it’s weird, but it doesn’t feel bad, and besides, the guy just helped me end our ridiculous argument.”
He didn’t take that so easily, so we discussed it a bit more, and finally he let me sit down and get back to my spiritual work of discerning who this guy was. I told the being that I was not giving him permission to stay inside me, though he encouraged me to, again asserting that I needed him because I was so naive.
I thought about that. I knew he’d come into me with a very good feeling, and I really had no idea how to eject him, other than some experimental exorcism maneuvers, which felt beyond me, so I just told him, rather weakly, that he would have to leave whenever I said so, and he agreed. I never sensed him leave, and I actually never sensed him again at all – though I did have some other anomalous experiences that made me wonder if it was him. More on that later.
Gone in a light?
My partner and I broke up soon after, and I decided that, as much as I loved my home and the foothills of Chiricahua Mountains, not to stay there alone, as I was feeling like a sitting duck for weird experiences. I moved temporarily in with a friend in the Cochise Stronghold for about seven months.
One night I woke up, totally alert, and realized it not only Full Moon, but it was then exactly midnight, so the moonlight was shining directly down through the round window in the center of the roof of the octagon house, down directly onto the center of the sofa in front of the fireplace. I decided to get out of bed, sit there and meditate – even though I never actually meditated as a practice, I had always wanted to be able to, and it felt very attractive in that moment.
I only remember sitting there, cross-legged in happy anticipation, for a few moments, and then realized that the spot of moonlight had moved far to the side, and it was 4 in the morning. I’d been there for four hours! I went outside and saw the full moon setting over the peaks.
Eventually my land sold, and I moved to Silver City, New Mexico. In the two weeks just before I moved into the house I purchased, I spent some of my windfall to go to my first UFO conference. I had wanted to find one that offered a “spiritual” approach to the subject, and I found it – within days of my expected cash – and in Hawaii! I was delighted.
The conference was – as should always be expected – a mixed bag as far as spirituality goes. After the conference, I stayed for two dolphin-swim events. At the second one, there was a guest artist who drew pictures of aliens that people have seen and told us what is generally thought about each type. As she was presenting her photos, I thought I’d go home and try to draw the reptilian who appeared to me after looking through my left eye. To my surprise, her next drawing was of a being so very similar to what I’d seen that I didn’t feel the need to try to draw it; I purchased hers. (When I find it, I’ll add it to this post.)
To my great relief, she acknowledged that reptilians are often associated with the worst of alien encounters, but that there are also reptilians – sometimes called reptoids who are considered “good reptilians,” and she said this was what they looked like. I have never been sure whether to take her word for it, but I’d taken some comfort in it, while continuing to be cautious.
Friends told me I’d find “lots of people” familiar with UFO’s and aliens in Silver City, but I haven’t actually come across that many folks with experiences like mine. That’s beem okay because my experiences have mostly stopped, and I’ve been unwilling to say exactly what I think about the subject anyway. I did begin to host Paradigm Salon movies and discussion groups, hoping to attract people to help me get clear, but I only found myself paranoid about some of my guests, so I stopped hosting events.
To try to get clear, I wrote my memoir, RattleSnake Fire, but couldn’t bring myself to state any conclusions with certainty. I attended a number of conferences for a few years on the subject, where I felt very critical at times at the number of people who stand at a podium and act like authorities, stating that the aliens are here to teach and guide us, or that the aliens are demonic, here to abuse and confuse us and send us hell. I think that both these (precise language, i.e., demons, needing definition) might be true – of different types of aliens. But which is which? (Michael Salla seems to have done the most research here, and I defer to him on this.)
I continued to have “Hulk experiences” for awhile, but began praying to have them stopped if they weren’t “good,” and they stopped. But, resistant to ritual, I didn’t develop a stronger spiritual practice until I had a few more frights.
Another highway event
In 2010, I had visited my old friend with whom I’d lived in the Cochise Stronghold and was driving home on the old Highway 666 (now 191, because so many people are afraid of that number) north toward Interstate 10 during a rainstorm, when I saw a bright light – despite the storm – zip ahead of me east to west through my rain-splattered windshield and flapping wipers. “UFO…” I thought soberly, dismissing the idea with a hope that this didn’t signal any new round of experiences.
I traveled the Interstate through Wilcox and other small towns with no unusual happenings, but after I’d taken Highway 90 north from Lordsburg and then east toward the Burro Mountains, I sensed something unusual and the hair raised up all over my body with the sensation of “something coming.” I didn’t want whatever was coming, but I didn’t think I could stop it, so I determined, instead, to try to stay conscious and be aware of the time. I was noting the time and looking for a mile marker, when suddenly my senses didn’t seem to jive. The truck engine seemed to race – or lug – I forget which – but it didn’t match my speed. I checked to see if I’d slipped into a different gear, but that wasn’t it. I began to feel frantic, checking my gear, the speedometer, the tachometer, and the view out the window. The view out my window didn’t match the sounds I was hearing or the speedometer or tachometer.
Then a strange fog that didn’t seem normal surrounded my truck; the fog had no waves of lightness and heaviness; as I traveled through it, it appeared to be all the same amorphous whiteness. The engine noise continued to not match my speed or what I saw out the window. Everything felt strange. I was trying to think clearly and not go into panic, repeating over and over some mile marker number and the time, neither of which I ever remembered afterward. Because of the fog, I was going very slowly, gripping the wheel, looking at the narrow space in front of the truck inside the fog, hoping not to see something suddenly in front of me, for which I wouldn’t have time to stop, but I was loathe to pull over.
Suddenly the fog disappeared, and I saw a sign ahead, down the hill – but this was strange, because I was almost certain this was the Continental Divide sign, which is of course at the highest point of the ridge, not below me as it appeared. I watched it eagerly, wondering if it was really the Continental Divide sign, and when I passed it, I saw that it was.
As I started down the other side of the ridge, reality seemed to have returned me to my proper perceptions, for which I was grateful, but still disturbed. I couldn’t wait to get home and check the time! When I got home, I stared at the clock and vowed to remember what it said. But I didn’t at that moment even register whether it was the time I expected or not. And the next day, I realized that I had a clock in the truck and had not thought to look at it – right in front of me. I seemed to have been programmed to not notice the time and not remember the time.
And later I’d wonder if the Continental Divide sign had been below me because I was up in the air? In my truck?
Stronger protection from Yeshua
I developed a stronger spiritual practice and once again ended the weird experiences that didn’t seem to be “helping” me – except to let me know with absolute certainty that “we live in an ocean of spirit” – as a curandero acquaintance told me shortly afterward, looking into my eyes as though he knew what I’d been going through.
Today, I don’t see the world in a way that will please Christians strict with their doctrine, but I have begun to see/feel the teachings of Yeshua/Christ inside a larger, more interesting spiritual context – an ocean of spirit – in which Yeshua/Christ is my tribal leader, healer, chief, and teacher. Most of what he’s reputed to say “works for me,” though I diverge from Christian doctrine on pretty much the entire balance of the Bible.
I don’t think it’s worth trying to define my personal doctrine though, as Jesus was reputed to have disdained doctrinal arguments in favor of private prayer with God and a few instructions such as being compassionate. Everything else in the Bible is open to suspicion to me because it was put together by the same ruthless people who’d just spent 300 years trying to destroy the Christ-following by torture and murder, and then continued for hundreds of years to try to destroy every other writing about Christ that they hadn’t included in their book (which contain many references to extra-dimensional and extra-terrestrial beings), and to this day they use disinformation as a constant tool to repress ideas. So I trust my heart more than any book that powerful might put together.
Because of my personal experiences with enough extra-dimensional beings (see my “Part I: Overview of a Spiritual Life”), including Christ, I believe in his goodness and power and rightness for me to be in relationship with. It’s possible there are other equally good extra-dimensional, god-become-man ambassadors to teach other people on the planet, such as Kokopeli, Krishna and Mohammed, but I have no personal experience with them.
I accept that many beings are trying to help us humans being harassed on this planet, mind-controlled, chem-trailed, fed poisoned food, chip-implanted, and more. Christ is the being who has helped me. He’s the center of my world, which is best described, not in Christian doctrine, but in shamanic literature, which tells of a world filled with spiritual beings, which we need to learn to discern which are which, be aware of, protect ourselves from, negotiate with, communicate with, and thus understand better our multi-dimensional existence and expand our soul’s understanding and our spiritual skills.
I also consider it possible – though I’m not willing to advocate this at this time – that some aliens are here to help us. It’s certainly possible, and I’ve read many accounts by people who believe this. Michael Salla’s research indicates that, while grays and reptilians are regularly associated with mind control and relationships with our government, many other alien species seem to be all about awakening consciousness of our multi-dimensional existence.
Feeling as vulnerable as I was, with positive experiences with Christ, and only questionable experiences with the foggy blur of aliens, I chose Christ and have left the “good alien” theory alone for now, though I may address the subject again soon.
Recent attack in a “spiritual place”
This past summer, after years of spiritual equanimity, I seem to have been tested again. I left for a Permaculture [ecological] Design certification training at the Lama Foundation in Northern New Mexico. Lama has a reputation as “a very spiritual place,” but that doesn’t necessarily mean positively spiritual – which I should have known. As I try to make clear in my book, there are plenty of “spirits” that are tricksters, or of low evolution, and just being in spiritual form doesn’t make them necessarily wise or benevolent. Spirits also include those some call demons.
I was out of my routines, not praying regularly, not sleeping well in a tent, very tired at the high elevation where we had to walk a good distance between camp and training, and not eating as food as good as I eat at home – and some of it must have been poisoned, as more than half the class became very ill, the Health Department was called, and some were even hospitalized. I was extremely sick for over a week, and very weak for weeks after the training, and not remembering to protect myself spiritually while I was there. So much for my excuses. It was a powerful lesson to keep to one’s practice no matter what – even when you think you’re in a safe place.
One night as I was drifting off to sleep, I heard a humming sound in the air above the forest treetops, but didn’t think much about it. Later that night, I woke up, realized I was seriously tangled in my sleeping bag, which seemed to be wrapped tightly around me, diagonally. When I reached to find my flashlight, I discovered that I was turned 180 degrees around inside my tent!
I felt that I had been abducted again – for the first time in years, and was extremely distressed by this. The next day, others brought up the humming above the trees, which I only then remembered.
In my next blog, I plan to describe how the spiritual, mind control, and alien experiences intersect – the larger context for it all and how they overlap.