Yesterday, I posted that I intended to blog only about spiritual power and ignore any dark stuff that intruded into my life.
Before I could post it, however, I experienced my first obvious harassment of the season, then succumbed to my usual desire to “shine light on the darkness,” and posted two more blogs and notified friends on Facebook before crashing into bed, exhausted.
I was ambivalent, however, about those last two posts, which I explained to my partner (for at least an hour this morning), and it all boils down to this:
Is posting, what I think of as “shining the light in the darkness,” really a courageous favor to all souls trying to understand the often-dark realities of this material plane, or is it merely a personal spiritual error to focus on the dark?
And now I’ve risen, copied those posts to my computer, and deleted them here. A waste of time? No, a process. I had to think this thing through carefully.
For at least five years in a row, I’ve had weird things – very weird things – happen to me every winter: manipulative people came into my life, extremely clear proofs of mind control were done to me, obvious and strange marks appeared on my body (bruises, burns and scoops of removed skin), and my home was repeatedly broken into, including broken locks. Last year, I posted everything (consolidated under the heading at the top of this blog, titled “Harassment”), and it was a very difficult winter.
Recently, I couldn’t help but recognize that “the season” was rolling around again, and I began to wonder if the cycle of weirdness would repeat. So I decided to only post about spiritual power and see whether I could positively affect, as the common New Age platitudes tell us, the reality of my life.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t prepared well enough for things to get truly crazy that very day, and I was caught off-guard and fell into my usual pattern of writing and publishing to cope and hopefully “protect myself.”
But I’ve slept on it and thought it all through (again), and here’s my plan.
First, even though the weirdness usually involves people I think of as the CIA (well-documented reasons will be found elsewhere), my experiment is not meant to influence them, at least not directly. My experiment is spiritual.
My renewed intention is to post, as I wrote yesterday, only about spiritual power.
If weird things happen, I’ll write about them in my own journals, but I’ll refrain from posting them for now. (If anyone wants to be on a mailing list to hear about events as they happen, perhaps I can forward my journals to a few friends who also experience this sort of thing, but I will not spend hours crafting the language carefully for broadcast publication.)
That way I’ll deal with my psychological need to document and be heard by someone, but won’t spend too much time on it.
I’m “testing the spirits” here. If I turn more of my attention to my spiritual help, will that protect me more than posting about the dark? That’s my million dollar question restated.
If things don’t change this winter, perhaps I’ll return to posting.
If things do change this winter, I’ll consider it an excellent scientific experiment, proof enough for me, that we can indeed change the nature of our reality by changing the focus of our attention.
We all need badly for this world’s reality to change. And some of us really, personally need it to change. Let’s see if I can do it. Prayers of support welcome.