About dawn this morning in front of the fire, I discovered a new, simple meditation posture in which I – surprisingly – easily experienced my energy field and felt it connected to other realms.
Then I was disturbed to sense my aura behind me entirely collapsed (interesting, since I’ve had my neck and back out of whack since October 22, and two chiropractors either couldn’t repair it or it slipped back while I was driving home). I tried, with intention, to repair my crushed aura but couldn’t.
Then I turned my attention to the other-dimensional beings who have contacted me in the past and who feel like guides and/or members of my cosmic tribe. For some reason, it was easy connecting today, though it hasn’t been for many months.
With the first being, I realized a crippling sense of (it’s embarrassing to say this) unworthiness and sobbed out loud for a moment until she said, “That’s your programming. You can let it go.” I understood, felt it deeply, let it go, and then sensed my inner core brighten, expand, and strengthen.
Turning to my second guide or friend, a writer in a past life, we briefly noted writing as a positive consciousness tool which can also become an unnecessary and distracting obsession (she wrote obsessively also in a past life). We agreed that writing about “everything” might be useful for healing, but publishing “everything” is not. I’ve known that, but it was good to have it come more fully into my consciousness, and it eased a lot of pressure I’d been feeling.
With two other cosmic connections, I felt and acknowledged that my understanding of them has been twisted by cultural caricatures, as they are “famous” people. I tried to perceive beyond those caricatures but got the message that we’ll deal with this block on another day.
Silently, I enjoyed the energies around me – except for the back of my aura which still felt crushed. I tried different intentions and eventually was able to lift away a whole battery of attachments that seemed to be programs, especially programs to keep myself intensely busy (a life-long habit).
Even though I often wrestle long and hard with spiritual challenges, these fell off easily as I expanded my energy field behind me. Then I scooped them together, saw them melt down, gave them to spirit help to dispose of, and announced to the room, “I replace these programs with my own programs to spend enough time to know myself.”
I sat for a while longer, feeling amazingly well.
Later in the day, I caught up on my sleep. And in the evening, my partner and I did the most heavenly harmonizing for hours.
I am grateful.