Category Archives: Friday Foundations

Pleiadian Starseed?

I’ve never used that phrase before, but I’m feeling more confident that it fits. (I welcome your responses.)

I just watched a few videos on Gaia TV, interviews with Sebastian Martin that inspired me to write my memories of my connections to the Pleiades, in context with other important aspects of my spiritual life on planet Earth. While my life experience has been quite different from what he describes, it seems they both fit into a coherent overall design.

In November 1999, I had a sudden and shocking remembrance of leaving my home in the Pleiades. I felt like a young adult, only very well educated, going on a mission with fellow Pleiadeans, watching the star cluster recede from a rear window, wondering what it would be like to be gone for a very long time. I experienced no Earthly emotions.

We joined a convention of other races in space concerned about things happening on Earth, also concerned because one faction thought the Earth should be destroyed to protect the larger cosmos, while we were in a group agreeing we couldn’t decide whether or how to intervene at all until we had more information.

A group of us volunteered to incarnate here to gather that info. And, while we’re here, if we thought Earth was worth saving, we’d try to introduce positive ideas into the social consciousness.

I did not know what I was getting into when I agreed to be born into the heart of mind control. The first time I was tortured, about one day old, I left my body, looked down briefly at the room, then shot up over the clouds to call out to my colleagues, whom I assumed had witnessed my experience because it was so intense and we were still very psychically connected. I assumed they would agree with me that we should all leave, because we had agreed to stay together or leave together, and this was far worse than any of us had expected Earth life would be.

But my colleagues said the families they were born into were worth staying for, and they assured me they believed that was true for most of the planet’s inhabitants.

I was momentarily stunned at their majority opinion, but our colleagues who did not incarnate were also psychically connected and agreed to provide me extra support, which I accepted, though with grave trepidation.

For some years, I left my body a lot to visit with colleagues on other dimensions, until one day they told me I needed to slow down the frequency. They somehow closed the portal I had been using, and I got used to simply waiting for them to open it again. I sometimes tried to will it to open, but never could.

I was always extremely happy when the portal appeared above me in bed, then I would suddenly plop back into bed, with no memories of what had occurred, but with deep gratitude, confidence and assurance that everything was going to be okay, and I knew I was cared for.

One day, when I was still fairly young, I landed back in bed with a new feeling of huge disappointment. They had told me I had to be patient for an even longer time now, but they would be watching and helping me always, but I wouldn’t be able to talk to them for a very long time. And it would even be best if I would forget about them in my Earthly personality. And eventually I did.

Through the rest of my childhood and into my 30s, I had no particular beliefs about the other realms. In my 30s, I met environmentalist pagans and was invited to their ceremonies in the forest, but I tip-toed away, not sure what I believed.

Years later, I found myself saying that if something we call Spirit existed, It would let me know. And soon I had a healing involving trees talking to me, encouraging me to hug one of them, and then an incredible frequency of energy pouring down through me that I described as feeling as though I’d had a radio inside me tuned to static all my life, and suddenly, with the cascade of energy, the static had been turned off. I would never be the same again.

When my son got cancer (later healed), and I realized I had to divorce my abusive second husband (whom I did not know then was my mind control handler), I had a nervous breakdown (highly recommended), and had my first realizations that I had been sexually abused as a child.

The next year I realized I was a “multiple personality,” and moved out to the desert to build a small strawbale home off grid. There, I began to have years of experiences others called shamanic perception.

All those previous years of wondering if something called Spirit existed, I had refused to read “spiritual” books. I did not want anyone else’s ideas to frame my experiences and possibly distort them. And I was flatly disinterested in the subject of aliens.

One weekend, I joined environmentalist friends camping in the desert, where one man insisted I look at the Pleiades through his binoculars. I was talking to someone else and didn’t want to look at little sparkly things in the sky. He insisted further, and with much irritation, I looked.

To my absolute astonishment I was shocked to feel powerful sensations of home and longing that made me want to cry. I couldn’t hold back and blurted out that I thought I was from there, then immediately slapped my hand over my mouth in embarrassment. I had been programmed by our culture to make fun of people who believed in things like this. I continued confused and silent about the experience for years.

As Y2K approached, I became concerned that I wanted to be a more careful documentarian about my strange experiences, so I decided to change my journaling style into something closer to a science journal.

Instead of bemoaning my distressing situation of being a victim of sexual abuse, divorced from abusive men, alone and confused, with weird things continuously happening that seemed too much for one person’s life, I decided to simply document precisely what I had experienced, separate from what I assumed it meant, and separate from my emotions. Sometimes I would write about unusual experiences with animals. And I would write about this new category of spiritual events, where the 3-D world would suddenly be shot through with the revelation of other dimensions and beings – and aliens and spaceships.

Today I have three large boxes of journals, which I’ve summarized into a database with over 1,100 lines describing events that do not fit in “normal life” as described by most people.

One day, I finally went to the library and brought home the maximum number of books allowed, all about aliens and the supernatural, and finally began to read what others have experienced.

Powerful experiences came upon me unbidden in the coming years, with spirit animals, natural animals, angels, Jesus, Isis, orbs, UFOs, angels, demons, “aliens,” and people I assume were government agents. It seemed too much to share with anyone.

It would be years before I recognized I probably had this ability to perceive and interact with other dimensions because I had become familiar with other realms by regularly leaving my body during childhood abuse.

One morning I woke with a surgical incision on my neck that seemed to have been done with technology beyond anything I thought humans had, and it reminded me of a scene in Star Wars when Luke Skywalker was beautifully healed in a machine. I took a photograph of the scar, unfortunately lost. Five years later a nurse practitioner noticed my faint scar, and asked when I’d had my thyroid surgery.

Eight years after realizing I was a multiple personality (high functioning, nothing dramatic), I would realize I was also a mind control subject.

It shook my world, and I wrestled every day with my life purpose, wondering whether it would be better to not be alive, so as not to be an asset to those government people abusing other people like me.

By happenstance, I reconnected with an environmentalist-pagan acquaintance, who came to live with me, and help me believe I had a purpose in staying alive.

When we were deciding whether or not he would come live with me, multiple signs delighted us, including us waking throughout the night in our camp and me repeatedly seeing the Pleiades over his head as we moved and the stars moved.

Over the years, I came to realize this man, as much as he had helped me and I had helped him, was continuously distracting me from my spiritual and meditative life, so I wondered whether he was yet another handler, and I asked him to leave, and he did.

He had also impacted my spending, I was in debt, and it suddenly seemed someone was actively sabotaging my efforts to find local work. Besides that, I was feeling like a sitting duck for alien and government harassment, so I sold my home and fled (as if I could escape them).

The alien beings I had experienced in that home had included small grays coming through my window;a tall one who immobilized me in my bed; ones I don’t remember seeing but who took me up in a beam and moved me through portals; others I also didn’t see but who took me and my partner up into a huge triangle ship, returning us amnesic for what had happened: and one Draco who immobilized me then made me unconscious with some tool put to the back of my head.

I had also been stopped on the highway, lost two hours of time, and had something implanted in my vagina. Once, with two guests visiting my partner and I, we witnessed a UFO shot down fairly nearby and later listened to the reconnaissance mission as it passed by on the highway and back. (My home was not too distant from Fort Huachuca, a major Air Force intelligence base. Later I would have two friends from different social circles each tell me their shocking experiences with Dracos at that base – both of them unbelievers until their experiences, like me.)

I had no context for understanding these experiences, and was afraid to tell anyone. As a child, after I had complained about my nighttime treatment, I had been continuously called a liar by my mother, so I was always careful to tell the precise truth and now was afraid to tell a truth that no one would believe.

However, when I read Whitley Strieber’s book Secret School, about being in some sort of training on another dimension and I kept finding myself going into altered states while reading, I decided to write him. After a year he wrote me back with an odd and emotional account about having intended to contact me immediately, but some sort of mind control seemed to be stopping him. Soon after, I was interviewed by him and Jim Marrs (but I asked them both not to air our interviews as I felt too embarrassed by my disclosures).

I had met and worked with a European shaman and esteemed consciousness researcher, Ralph Metzner, who encouraged me to write a book about my experiences, and offered to write the Foreword, so I did, and he did. (My book was well praised, but has been “shadow banned” on Amazon, and all the reviews of my book have disappeared. A video about my book went viral briefly, then the numbers began running backward, and it too seems to now be also shadow banned.

A local Native shaman I had never met, but seemed to have heard about me, visited me with his wife and offered himself as a teacher by way of a gift of a white eagle tail feather. But my mind control seemed to freeze me so that I could not say a word, and he and his wife eventually drove away. I was left with the conviction I still hold that I missed an opportunity of a lifetime.

After I sold my home and had money, I would attend consciousness conferences for years and be surprised to have Native people approach me and tell me things I had been wondering for years and needed to know. I eventually became aware that many Native tribes claim to have come from the Pleiades.

In one event a group of Native women seemed delighted to see some other-dimensional beings traveling with me over my head as I made my way down a wide, crowded hallway.

In my mundane life, I occasionally experienced a Native woman from another dimension drop into me (or emerge from me?) and simply experience my life on that land I had a short while, and I understood this was their former land for harvesting acorns each year, and they just wanted to experience it again.

At one consciousness conference, I seemed to have been also recognized by people involved in mind control. They never initiated contact, but when we passed in a hallway, they stared briefly, looked away nervously, and I could psychically hear their mental wrestling with how to act as if they didn’t know and hadn’t recognized me.

In September 2009, I had a vision of a translucent egg-shaped ship approaching Earth, just letting me know it was nearby and wanting me to know that. Soon, a number of other women around the world were sharing their psychic vision of a massive UFO that would come to Earth and everyone would see it for three whole days, and I wondered if we had shared the same vision, but I did not have the convictions they had, so I kept quiet, thinking this coincidence was probably not meaningful. Either I was only getting part of the message, or they were assuming too much, or it was purely a coincidence, as nothing like that happened. So I held this vision in a place of wonder ever since.

Soon, it seems someone wanted to punish me for my book and video, as I seemed to have been put on a list for a variety of punishments in the form of government experiments, especially in frequency weapons. I experienced buzzing, tones that woke me up, tones that put me to sleep, tones that heralded an audiovisual experience beamed into my head, movies played in my head, movies played upside down, movies played double time, and movies played one on top of another, all short, no more than 10 seconds long – all of which I knew were induced and not generated by me.

Sometimes I woke up with taser burns, biopsy scoop marks, strange bruises, joints out of place, and eventually an inoculation with Lyme Disease – an event from which I came back to consciousness earlier than the doctors expected, and I heard one man tell another that whatever they were doing to me would kill me slowly. This latter memory was only triggered when I stood up and felt the rough memory of the inoculation in my body.

I soon became disabled, for many days at a time, quit my job, took early Social Security, sold yet another home, and moved into an old RV for five years, camping in Nature.

As a nomad, I realized I was still being targeted with various experiments and harassments wherever I went.

Nevertheless, living in Nature, on Social Security, I had time to think about my life, and remember the positive parts about it, including the mystery of why I should accept that I might be from the Pleiades – as crazy as that sounds.

My mind control had included suggestions to never believe anything good about myself, and to never try to attract attention, so it was a huge struggle to believe these experiences had any reality to them.

Coming here to do good and relay information to others – I could believe that, but I didn’t want to talk overtly about it.

Having spontaneous healing and channeling flow through – I was grateful for, but again didn’t want to talk about it, as it felt like spiritual bragging.

Having been healed myself when in despair and not expecting help – again, I was always astounded and extremely grateful, but I didn’t want to talk about it.

Some of my experiences I’ve never known for sure whether they were from my helpers or my controllers – experiences like downloads that forced me to stagger to the nearest chair to sit and feel information flow into a part of my brain that “I” could not access but only wonder about, dreams about spaceships, beams of healing energy, and the emergence of an inner warrior who can immediately and easily dismiss an evil spirit that jumped out to threaten me.

None of these things did I seek. Possibly because of mind control, I wanted only to be normal, not to be associated with extraordinary things.

Because my mind control and punishments for publishing have included being socially sabotaged, isolated, and lied about for decades by family and handler-husbands and members of the control network, I’ve been very uncertain about how I’m supposed to accomplish anything.

Because “my angels,” as I call them (Pleiadian colleagues?), keep healing me, I believe there must be something I’m still supposed to accomplish here, but I do not understand how to accomplish anything, given my isolated situation.

Currently, I have defined my strange life online on a few sites: my professional/activist website; my book website; my mind control website; and my Garden Healing Church website, which I just sat down one day and wrote in its entirety as if channeled, and haven’t done much with ever since.

I have tried over the years to keep my mind control stuff and my spiritual stuff separate from the rest of me. Fearful, I assume, of driving away the few “normal” friends and acquaintances I have.

I did finally put links between my sites a few years ago, but I never tell anyone in my “normal” group of friends and acquaintances anything about what I post on the other sites.

Why? Having been isolated and sabotaged and discredited, it’s very hard to be vulnerable with information other people don’t want to believe.

Also, my efforts to communicate so often result in government punishment.

Also, I hesitate to state anything with certainty when we live in such an environment of lies. I don’t want to tell others anything wrong.

Finally, these experiences are multidimensional, and our language is wholly insufficient to describe it well, and the concepts have been culturally mocked and tied to silly cartoons.

But I’ve been encouraged by a recent spiritual healing to feel that it’s time.

(The videos I watched were part of Gaia TV’s Cosmic Disclosure: Pleiadian Agenda with Josh Golembeske.)

JeanEisenhower.com

RattlesnakeFire.com

ParadigmSalon.net

GardenHealingChurch.org

Excellent Video Advice on Coping with the World

Information for deprogramming and breaking conditioning for everyone

Basic Info on Child Porn – Basic to Mind Control

Every Image Every Child.pngSince the beginning of history, child sexual abuse* has been fundamental to mind control.  Consider:  harems, geishas, and CIA Presidential models – all involved girls and boys trained from youth in sexual servitude to the rulers and their courts.

The masses were invited in with the invention of photography – and porn was born.

Today, the Internet has facilitated a custom-tailored desensitization/addiction process for any person who’s dipped their toe into the waters of Internet pornography, so that the number of porn viewers has exploded worldwide (it may be one of the world’s largest industries), at the same time the abuse has become more and more violent and degrading, and the victims have become younger and younger.

Is this an accident of human weakness that no one saw coming or knows how to address?  Or was it planned and carried out by a conspiracy of industrialists, creating a marketable quantity of addicted servants?  Or …?

Here are the facts in Canada.  Is there an equivalent in the U.S.  Anyone?  (I’m tired today.)

http://www.victimsfirst.gc.ca/pdf/childp-pjuvenile.pdf


* By torturing a child in their sexual center – their root chakra – their soul, spirit, or energetic field is split, open to whatever the controller wants to insert, deep beneath conscious understanding.

 

Friday Foundation: “Spooks” – a short radio show about feds

In 2002, it seems the feds did a number on my credibility.

car bombThat May and part of June, I did media work for the historic federal trial, “Judi Bari vs the FBI” – where I experienced weird, nighttime altered states of consciousness (which seemed electronic in nature), then came home to read for the first time websites on mind control, which terrified me – and also let me understand my life – a simultaneous, contradictory relief, which barely counter-balanced my urge to quickly find a way to die.

Between bouts of serious disability, I pulled myself together enough to produce this radio show titled, “Spooks” – which aired on our community radio station on Halloween night, 2002.

(For the innocent – spooks is a term commonly used for government spies.)

UnknownI interspersed sections of my narration with related clips of Bob Dylan’s Subterranean Blues.”

The story was meant to address the paranoia in our local Earth First! community that year over spies and infiltration, but do it in an inspiring way.  So, I self-deprecatingly presented my story of having recently been “bad jacketed” – an FBI tactic, to cast suspicion on certain people, to discredit them.

So I produced this piece while reeling from four major shocks:  first, daily close proximity for six weeks to FBI liars who protected a would-be assassin, arrested the wounded activists, harassed scores of activists with their “investigation,” and put our friends at further risk with false accusations to the media; second, experiences of what I assumed were electronic harassment at night; third, realizing I’d been a mind control subject since childhood and was still almost certainly being monitored; and fourth, having my sincere attempts to calm the group anxiety with simple education turned into my being personally attacked as a probable spy!

I was shocked, dumbfounded, and deeply, deeply hurt.

But, ironically, I probably was a spy!  I just didn’t know it then.  It would dawn on me slowly that, as a mind control subject, I most assuredly had been some sort of threat to them, albeit unconscious, but this hadn’t quite sunk into my mind during those first terrifying months of realizing I’d been a mind control subject since childhood.

So my local Earth First! was probably right to eject me, but the reason was wrong, and the manner was horrifying to experience.

[My voice sounds very young on this recording, even though I was 50 at the time.  (That’s multiple-ness for ya.)  Maybe my younthful-sounding voice is also part of my attempt to assure listeners that a reasonable, even cheerful person could be an Earth First!er – even though the national media had usually presented us as the opposite.]

Now that I’ve listened to this feature (not an extemporaneous yack, but a carefully crafted, radio feature) for the umpteenth time in the last 12 years, and I’m proud of it.

It’s an important story – and world news not covered by the US major media.  (So you’re forgiven if you’ve never heard of this story which everyone should know.)

So Enjoy…

Wait!  I almost forgot:

How this production was used to discredit me:  For the first 16 minutes, I tell the story with music, then I present my solution to fear (which I sorely needed, to deal with my special load): I borrowed a few lines from Leslie Marmon Silko’s book, Ceremonywhich quotes Thought Woman:

Stories…aren’t just entertainment.  Don’t be fooled.  

They are all we have, you see – all we have to fight off illness and death.

You don’t have anything if you don’t have the stories.

Their evil is mighty.  But it can’t stand up to our stories.

So they try to destroy the stories.  Let the stories be confused.  Or forgotten. …

There is life here for the people – and in the belly of this story. 

Very content with my production, I sat in my desert hermitage on Halloween night beside the fireplace, listening to the show being aired.  Suddenly the host cut short my production – just before I introduced my uplifting solution, leaving a long litany of scary shit the feds had done just hanging, resonating fear, fear, fear, with no solution, and said, “Thank you, Jean Eisenhower, for this radio show on fear.

My work had been turned up-side-down!  My lovingly-created, artistic effort to offer something spiritually uplifting to my community was chopped in the worst place possible, making me sound, instead, like a fear monger – the #1-hated boogeyman among EF!ers that year.

The host later agreed to air the piece in its entirety, but instead he did a bad fake of a cassette tape sticking and dragging (then described it as being “eaten,” a different sound), apologized to the audience, and threw my tape in the trash – or so he said, apparently hoping I hadn’t made a copy.

I had, and then he changed his mind and refused.

The next week, I got his co-host (having a tiff with him also) to air my entire show on her (recently split-off) first half of their show.

This is the sort of “mild harassment” that’s been done to labor, civil rights, and other social justice activists for decades – along with random murder attempts.

FBI-Secrets-Swearingen-M-9780896085015One FBI agent, Wesley Swearingen, wrote an excellent memoir late in his life, describing his misdeeds before he died:  FBI Secrets:  An Agent’s Expose’.

We in Earth First! experienced many sorts of dirty tricks similar to his accounts.  And this treatment of me was classic.

Here’s my story.

(I used a hand-held cassette player to record my voice, then copied it, section by section, interspersing snippets from “Subterranean Blues” off an old vinyl record.  Edits sound like they were made on equipment with funky, imprecise functions – which was the case!  Many thanks to Leo Mellon for his tech and other support for this project.)

 

Friday Foundation: Tortured Congress

WScreen Shot 2015-01-09 at 8.56.37 PMow….  Listening to Cenk Uygur on his Young Turks video show, and while I totally relate to his irate oration, I suddenly realized I was bothered by the bite of his ridicule.

As much as I, too, hate the behavior of those men and women in Congress, I know they are fucked little children, tortured when they long-ago expressed their natural, beautiful humanity.  Disobedience resulted in more torture and sometimes murder, which impressed their young minds.  Eventually, the children were rewarded when they finally, to save their lives, did what was despicable to them.

Us_senate_sealIt began when they were very young.  It was consistent, scientific, and ruthless – called MK Ultra.  And now those grown-up tortured children create national policy out of  terror.

They need the same sympathy I do.

And we need to quit pretending they represent us.

Sing-Song Trance

Twenty years ago last summer, I became estranged from my parents for seven years, and then for the next thirteen years only saw them for a few hours usually once a year – until last week.  For five nights then, I slept in their house and visited, mostly just them and me.

That summer day, I had a rare talk with my sister on the phone.  (I’m close to no one in my family.)  (I believe it’s part of mind control disinformation to discredit MK subjects within the family and elsewhere, especially when they begin to show signs of remembering.  However, I’ve been subject to discrediting for a very long time.)

I asked my sister if she had any weird memories of our childhood, and she said no.  But, she told me, she’d just seen a 20/20 television show on the so-called “false memory syndrome,” which she asserted was my problem.

For the record, there is no “syndrome,” by definition:  a group of symptoms that consistently occur together or a condition characterized by a set of associated symptoms.  There has never been a set or group of symptoms defined for this supposed syndrome.

However, the supposed “syndrome” serves as a cover story for anyone accused of anything, usually sexual crimes.  The “false memory syndrome” asserts that the memory was invented by a person who’s mentally unwell, either unable to tell reality from imagination, or hatefully vengeful – which I’ve been called more than once for privately asking my sister the question I did and then, when confronted, recounting my memories – but not blaming my parents, only asking for help understanding.

The backlash of blame and hysteria, even when I recalled other individuals has continued to this day.  (Those other individuals were military men.  I thought this would relieve my parents of culpability, but it only made them more enraged and intent on proving me “deluded.”  Their reaction never made sense until I learned about the military being involved in mind control experiments.)

Before I ever heard about the “false memory syndrome,” my parents began planting doubts in my mind, and in my siblings’ minds, about my ability to tell fantasy from reality.  It began when I was a child and my mother told the doctor I had a tremendous imagination and talked to imaginary friends.  He told her it was okay, even common, but she continued to tell other people within my hearing.  Once, another mother responded that sometimes genius and insanity were hard to tell apart, and I took heart.

In adulthood, one Christmas holiday when everyone was together and we were sharing old stories, I recalled the earliest memory I have, of reaching up to my mother’s hips – I seemed to be barely able to walk, not understanding that she couldn’t pick me up while she cooked dinner, and I fussed.  As I proceeded with my story, I realized that the next part of the memory didn’t put Mom in a very good light, but I’d already begun and didn’t know how to end it other than just continue.

Generally, I can’t invent – regardless that Mom has always contended I have – so I recounted the story as casually as I could, knowing that plenty of us have experienced frustration as parents and haven’t been perfect, but assuming we were all then mature enough to understand and not judge harshly, but today I wish I had not said it:

As I fussed and reached up to her hips, Mom threw down the spatula she was using at the stove and screamed, “I can’t take it anymore!  I’m leaving, and I’m not coming back!”  Then she stormed out the door and left me standing alone in the quiet tiny kitchen of their student housing dorm.  I was terrified.

I knew that I needed a mother, and I thought I’d have to go outside to solicit another one.  I imagined an expanse of concrete – common on the campus, of course – and imagined reaching up my arms to other women walking across the expanse, but in my mind’s eyes they were all busy and walking too fast.  Only one in my imagination paused and considered me for a moment, then kept on walking.

I wailed and crawled to hide in the space between the red brocade chair and the wall – but when I gasped my next breath with my face in the upholstery, microscopic pieces of fiber and dust burned my nose and I cried harder.

Suddenly someone was pulling me out and I was surprised to see that my mother had returned.  She then tried to assure me she’d never leave me, but I was wary.  Even at that age, I guarded my heart from being so terrified again.  I let her hug me, but recall no feeling of comfort.  Only relief that the terror of aloneness was now gone.

Of course, I only told the bare bones of the story, omitting my imagination and tears, very sorry I hadn’t thought ahead and cut it shorter.

“Oh, I would never do that!” my mother huffed.

I tried to redirect attention from this aspect and turn it back to what I’d meant to be my point – that we can remember things from our very young years – which for some reason I was then absolutely fascinated by.

I grabbed a paper napkin and sketched.  “The front door was here, almost directly behind someone standing at the stove.  The wall next to the front door had glass you can’t see through.  And just left of the stove began the carpet, and the red chair was here, at an angle.”

“You couldn’t remember that!  You were only 14 months old when we moved away from there,” she countered, gesturing at my map, as if she’d proven me wrong.

But her face and her gesture told me I’d mapped those items correctly.  “Mom, you just indicated that I drew the floor plan correctly.”

Her face went slack as if horrified.  She rose from the table, mute, walked to a window where she stared out and said something, I realized with a shock, that I’d heard her say a few times before, and always in the same lilting, trance-like, sing-song voice, as if she’d said it to herself a thousand times, maybe to comfort herself, or maybe to practice saying it casually, “I’ve always said… you had a vivid imagination… and you mixed up your dreams… with memories.”  

A sensation of memory was triggered somewhere deep inside me.  Something was disturbed.  Something felt a little sick.  My mother had just sounded like a person in a trance.  Why?  Why would she go into a trance like that?  Did she have a terrible memory herself of those times?

I felt terrible for hurting her feelings.  And at the time, I thought it was impossible that my mother would do anything to hurt any of us, so I assumed she was beating herself up unnecessarily for something that couldn’t have been all that bad.  Certainly not just walking out on me that day.  Was there something else?

I tried to imagine the worst that could have happened if she were totally pushed over the edge with multiple stresses – and imagined locking me in a closet for awhile – that was as bad as I could imagine – and I thought, “Forgiven!”  No problem.  See, I’m fine now.  I’m totally fine.

I know how terribly hard life can be, and can imagine it was infinitely worse back in the 50s when wives took a vow before God and all to obey their husbands.  And I know I’ve hurt my kids in ways I didn’t mean to when I was exhausted and ran out of patience.  I understand imperfection.  And I understand forgiveness.  Whatever it was that she was so haunted by, I thought, It’s okay, and I wanted her to forgive herself.

I hoped I’d find some private time to tell her, but I never did.  We all went on with our lives for years, decades now, and those words were never spoken.

Decades later, I would learn that the campus on which I’d lived the first year-plus of my life was the home of the Society for Investigation of Human Ecology, a front for CIA mind control experiments.  

Of course, a generic type of mind control is nearly impossible to avoid in America, but there’s also an intense, Above-Top-Secret version, the subject of two Senate hearings in the 1970s, which resulted in the program being strongly criticized, after which it was not ended, as promised, but simply shifted further outside government accountability into the world of Special Access Projects, part of the nation’s Black Budget.

The subjects of these experiments have been mostly American and Canadian children and adults in certain demographic groups, including military recruits, members of certain churches, orphans, children in Indian schools, members of secret societies, and special bloodlines, among others.

I fit into at least four demographics that come up frequently among other former subjects who remember their mind control.  I’m an Eisenhower; my father had done his tour in the Navy; my mother was a “fallen away” Mormon; and my father’s father was a 33rd degree Mason.

I imagine now my mother reacting, not to a fussy child, but to a child that, through coercion, had been recruited into a government program that she must then cooperate with.  Maybe they paid my parents.  Maybe they blackmailed them somehow.  Maybe they said I’d be serving my nation, and as a benefit I’d be made disciplined, obedient, smart, and successful.  Maybe my parents had regrets, but I imagine they had no power to change the course of their agreement with this secret network.

Later, I’d realize something else that might have made me of interest to mind controllers. I was born on July 7, 1952, the seventh day of the seventh month of the year ’52, which adds up to seven.  It was a Monday (Moon Day), in the middle of Cancer, also known as Moon Child, on the Full Moon.  Not only that, but the time was 4:25 a.m., just 8 minutes before the precise moment of the Full Moon, at 4:33 a.m.  That’s within 2/1,000ths of a degree of perfection.  I’ve been told these elements are extremely attractive to Satanists, who are supposedly also involved with secret societies.

child not smilingI assume my parents were innocent victims, like me.  I lost two years of my life in amnesia and a lifetime of mental coherence – in exchange for obedience, discipline, and certain sorts of high-level intelligence.  And my parents lost their natural relationship with their little daughter.

Virtually no one knew about mind control in America back then.  It was a time of great optimism.  America was riding high.

I imagine my mother was given the repeated phrase, much like Ewen Cameron gave his MK subjects in the true story and movie, “The Sleep Room“*:  “Just tell her:  ‘I’ve always said you had a vivid imagination.  And you mixed up your dreams with memories.'”  

And she said it to herself so many times, it became part of the sing-song trance that kept her going.  It was cruel, cruel, cruel, to her and my father, and to me.

sleeproom2* (Entire movie free on YouTube at the link.  Hard to watch at points, but important history.)

Be strong.  And practice compassion for all of the parents who were coerced.

PS Newest research discovery from Wikileaks:
https://www.wikileaks.org/w/images/AT-june07-Price-PT1.pdf

Friday Foundation: Aliens in the Closet

11bgI’ve been downplaying the alien aspect of my experiences for the last few years, I just realized.  (I only added “alien” to the tagline up top last night.)

Years ago, though, aliens were easier (for me) to discuss than the CIA or church involvement in sexual torture, so I tended to hide those angles then.  But I believe all these aspects form a whole which desperately need exploration.

41pHQz8hnQLMy first conference on aliens and spirituality I attended just before I moved to Silver City in 2006.  Having read Harvard professor Dr. John Mack’s two books, Abduction and Passport to the Cosmos, which both comfortingly espouse alien contact as a spiritual or shamanic experience, I knew the two subjects composed a most important angle, though I also recognized the conference seemed to have ignored or downplayed two other very important facts:  a) some aliens seem to be serious trouble, not here for our spiritual enlightenment, and b) our governments and many churches (both established by “the gods” in ancient history) are involved in the most troublesome aspects.

hellyer

Paul Hellyer, former Minister of Defense, Canada

Eventually I attended many conferences on aliens (never any on mind control) and saw and met a lot of credible people – Paul Hellyer, former Defense Minister of Canada, for instance – and made a few strong friendships which contributed to my comfort with the alien angle and my then (subconscious) downplaying of the government and church role.

Dark activities by aliens or government I only recall hearing twice, both times in Roswell.  The first was a presentation in Roswell on Reptilians and the evidence of their working covertly with the US government in experimental projects using human subjects.  (The city-sponsored conference forbids presentations on aliens as spiritual helpers.) event_274863342

The second presentation on dark activities by aliens was at a nearby Christian Church (I attended “as a reporter,” I told myself).  There, all aliens were defined as demons.  Both presentations, when I listened with my multi-dimensional self, seemed as credible, in at least a limited way, as the scores of other presentations I’d seen espousing other angles.

nordic-aliens-tumblr_m5a30quqjA1qzx7rao1_500All the angles are probably true in their own context, i.e., extra-dimensional beings of many sorts have many different agendas, some as cruel to us as human researchers are to rabbits, for instance; and some extra-dimensional beings wanting to help us, like missionaries, if we can get past our cultural programming enough to communicate with them across the dimensions.  And everything in between, including dark aliens pretending to help, like spies, and possibly helpers accidentally hurting and terrifying us.

026349-firey-orange-jelly-icon-culture-space-alien1-sc37Lumping all aliens together under one word “alien” and then pinning a cartoon on that one word seems to have been a very effective way to “confuse our language” (as Jehovah did in Babel to keep the people from building their tower to access the stars), thereby keeping us from discussing our perceptions and having any chance of learning collectively.  Collective mind control.

The Paradigm Salon, at first, was my attempt to create an event in which local people could talk after viewing films about “aliens,” but after a year I realized I was not comfortable sharing much of my own experience with strangers (even though I’d published it all in my book), and I also was not comfortable with some of the people who attended, so eventually I quit holding those events and turned to blogging.

In my journals, I constantly explored the connections between government mind control, churches, and aliens, but over the years, I’ve realized I’ve veered to the opposite imbalance in my blogging – I’ve been focusing on government and ignoring the alien component.

ufos-national-security-state-unclassified-history-volume-1-richard-m-dolan-paperback-cover-artRichard Dolan’s UFO’s and the National Security State is an important book.  Though I frequently recommend Richard’s books, I quit reading in the middle of his first book and never picked it up again – for what reason I don’t know.

On Thanksgiving, since we (thankfully!) made no plans, I sat for almost the entire day and read not only about “UFO’s” documented by various elements of the government, their chaotic responses, public statements, and reversals of public statements, but also the jockeying for control of this issue, executive orders, and creation of huge new bureaucracies that seemed in direct response to UFO sightings – bureaucracies like the CIA and NSA whose budget and activities would be entirely unaccounted for to the public or Congress or even the President.  

And now I realize I need to catch up in my studies, so I intend to finish Richard’s series here and be more dedicated to keeping up with other books, blogs, and videos.  And this time I determine not shy away from distinguishing aliens by type.  And to begin, I’d like to make clear to my readers that I’m quite sure I’ve had contacts with Reptilians on both this dimension and in other dimensions, as well as the tall grays, and possibly others.

archons-CopyAll these may be manifestations of Archons, described by the Gnostics of Christ’s time, and perhaps the same as are now called demons by contemporary Christians.  Not a comforting thought at all, but the opposite to my cozy inclinations after reading John Mack.

Coincidentally, Reptilians have been noted by various researchers as being very involved in mind control.  And Archons are said to feed off our “energies,” most easily gotten by inducing fear and hatred.  Connections?  Others have speculated far and wide, but I hesitate now to share any more of my speculations, especially since mind control and its “screen memory” theories throw everything up for grabs – but I hope to soon.  (I’d love to hear from readers on these points, especially those with anonymity, who might feel braver to speculate.)

I’ve read and learned a great deal more over the years – and then forgotten it.  I’ve also been crippled by the thought that assuming any particular “truth” in this arena, especially using particular names or language like “Reptilians” or “Archons” would discredit me in the eyes of the general public – and why I should care about that I don’t know, but I do sometimes; it might be mind control keeping me from pursuing this most promising direction, but it could also just be the isolation we experiencers feel – SO acute sometimes that we hide some of our truth.  Very few of us blog under our real names.

UFO exploding before diving to the Earth, witnessed by my partner and another friend, while I was nearby.

UFO exploding before diving to the Earth, witnessed by my partner and another friend, while I could only hear their excited reactions. Interesting, and not nearly as threatening as alien mind control. You agree? Art: Asante Riverwind.

Experiencers of alien contact are sometimes even ignored inside the UFO movement!  Yes, some researchers find the “nuts and bolts” of UFO’s so much easier to talk about than strange beings, government complicity, reproductive experiments, or other experiments for which there seem to be no easy-to-stomach explanation.  Those researchers, I assume, think their activism is already tough enough.  It reminds me of the women’s movement of the 19th century when they split over the question of banding together with Black activists for equal rights; the majority of feminists thought they’d be more successful if they only promoted the one “easier sell” and then helped Blacks “next.”

In the same way, sexual abuse and mind control are ignored for similar strategic reasons – they’re just a lot more difficult to explain and sell to a distracted populace, much less one’s Congress, where a lot of “UFO Disclosure” efforts are directed.  Therefore, just as Blacks had to fight their battles mostly alone, we experiencers have to fend for ourselves until UFO’s are more widely accepted.

Meantime, I’m here on Earth to learn, heal, grow, strengthen connections with soul family on other dimensions, and serve my fellow humans.  And this amazing journey requires I shed my blinders of mind control – both Earthly and “alien.”

Friday Foundations: MK – JUST like humans treat their animals

crop-big_lie_cover_72_dpiOne of the biggest lies we’ve been told is that life – at least all the life we need be concerned with – stops at Earth’s atmosphere.

Not only does life not stop there, but neither does politics, war, commerce, science, or any other aspect of culture stop at Earth’s atmosphere.

Rather, we’re part of a larger community we’ve simply yet to understand collectively – sort of like cattle, sheep, and apple trees in an orchard don’t understand their situation – or maybe they do, better than we!  (Except for those of us who’ve been forced to see what others have the luxury to ignore.)

There’s plenty of evidence, including documentation by the “ranchers” themselves, that we are, indeed, creatures, creation, projects, students, subjects, prey, a combination, or something else subservient to other wiser beings – evidence throughout time and throughout the world, across every culture, recorded on stone and clay tablets and papyrus and guarded for millennia.

Accepting the corollary lie that humans exist as the pinnacle of evolution, under no one’s control but our own, allows our real rulers to hide as “us,” and keeps humans from perceiving reality and thereby making continuing, serious political and other sorts of errors.

museo-nazionale-del-cinemaSo activists (like I used to be) often beat our heads on the wall trying to communicate with politicians as if those others were operating from a human viewpoint, perhaps just skewed in a way that compelling information can correct.  (Wrong.  If they’re human, they’re beholden to and controlled by the Others.)

We are all in a web of multiple “spiritual” relationships, at least one of which is an increasingly tightly-controlled one with beings who do not have human motivations or Earth-protective intentions.  This explains poisoning the Earth’s water and air, inserting “terminator genes” into our food genetics, fracking the Earth’s crust to poison underground water sources, grossly misinforming people, encouraging wars and racism, and so much more.

Many humans insist they find the idea of Others beyond Earth or beyond this dimension impacting our Earth experience impossible or unlikely.  But the theory is entirely coherent with everything we see in Nature, including human nature:   wolf-in-sheeps-clothingpatterns of prey and predator, parasite and host, teacher and student, cooperation, collaboration, resource extraction, etc.  My assertion is simply that it’s more extensive and multi-dimensional than we’ve been led to believe.

However, we’ve all learned very well by now not to limit our thinking to what we’ve been taught.  And so I challenge us all to open our eyes to “hidden” realities.

Our human situation in relation to these Others today is totally unrecognized in social, political, religious and academic life.  Unable to talk about it, we thereby don’t think about it.  Result:  a mild and not uncomfortable sort of cultural mind control.  Not uncomfortable, but making us ineffective in our actions.

Some people who do acknowledge their extra-dimensional relationships describe them in spiritual terms:  angel, god/goddess, teacher, guide, or spiritual helper.  And I believe some extra-dimensional relationships are indeed that.

But others are apparently relationships much like we have with our animals, even our favorite animals:  We cage them, control their diets, control their territory, operate on them, force medicine on them, breed them.  We also allow others to treat animals in more grotesque ways and then pay those individuals to eat their animal products.   Of course, there are also many worse treatments I’ll leave unspoken for now.

FinancialPRAgenciesTheBigLiesSo, the idea that beings from other dimensions or planets seem to be a lot like us – greedy, conniving, lying, willing to inflict pain and discomfort – shouldn’t be received as if it were outlandish.  On the contrary, we should call it normal, as it’s exactly like us!  Maybe we even learned these negative traits from their treatment of us.

Therefore, when people report being experimented on by “aliens,” or having their DNA changed, or their eggs, sperm, or fetuses removed, or being dosed with drugs, or even bred – I wonder if people realize they’re rejecting as outlandish what human science is proud to announce, and what we often participate in and support with our dollars.

There are so many different beings, helpful and harmful, described throughout time, but they also have many similarities recounted across vastly different cultures, attesting to their reality.

Some may be like corporate raiders or resource extractors, and others akin to gods, angels, helpers, and guides.  Others might be like researchers, ambassadors, or even missionaries.  And  demons are not beyond discussion.

We have a hard time judging this with the subject being taboo and our language intentionally skewed to confuse us – with all these being lumped together under one heading, “aliens,” which we’ve been taught to ridicule with silly cartoons.

To begin to learn, we need to identify each type and their intentions – which many researchers have begun, collecting data on over 100 different species, categorized by whether they collaborate with our government or not, and what activities they’re commonly reported as engaged in.

We are certainly Someone’s creation.  (Most of the world’s religions and cultures agree with this, and we humans seem to have become Creators on Earth ourselves, so how can this be outrageous?)  We may be their progeny, or their project.  In any case, they may have expectations for us that are not our expectations.

Since their ways are not our ways (“saith the Lord”), their actions from other dimensions might not always translate properly to our three-dimensional minds, and we probably misinterpret a lot of experiences and assign wrong intentions and maybe even think things evil when they’re only obliviousness of our sensitivity (like we treat animals) or expediency for a purpose we don’t understand.

Some of it could be truly “evil” as all the world’s religions agree.  And today we read so much in news (if the news is true) that seems patently evil; it would explain what people report and why our government denies so much that’s obvious.

Benevolent beings – let’s not forget – are all around us on other dimensions too, according to religion and contemporary testimony.

yy12So it seems our life on Earth is a dance of dark and light, delight and horror, prey and predator, teacher and student, villain and savior, slaver and slave, parasite and host or combinations or permutations.

This may be frightening to some, but it’s coherent with human history, ancient and contemporary lore, biology, chemistry, and all of life.

It’s hard to accept that some of these intelligent beings are no more nice than humans.  Microcosm, macrocosm.

imagesInterestingly, opening our eyes to the hidden reality (seeing past the Big Lie) is the meaning of the word apocalypsenow laden with images of horror – not because that’s what the word means, but because it’s probably what must eventually come from millennia of our ignorance before we wake up and see.

Seeing with clear vision – the real meaning of the apocalypse – will be essential if we’re to survive as something like what we want to think of as “human.”

264428_495700630483562_1273273762_n