June 27, 2012 – written
July 17, 2012 – minimally edited and posted
Background: This continues to be a wonderful year, probably the most wonderful of my life. Greg and I have eaten the most delicious, nutritious food of either of our lives, home-made together with joy. We have gardened, enjoyed the night sky, sung and performed successfully, and recently harvested cherries off a small tree in the yard and the first tomatoes of the season – a wonderful, simple life. I’ve often said – referring to a theory that the Earth is moving into an energy field that will separate people into various futures “by vibration” – that he and I have entered “the heaven stream.” Sure, I would love it if my neck and back hadn’t been “out of whack” off and on since mid-April, but I’m hoping my physical therapy will take care of that. So that’s the very positive context for this very weird event and – to me – shocking message I was given.
(I also want to remind readers that the multi-dimensional world is very well confirmed by science; and the vast populations of other-dimensional beings is well documented by ancient texts, religion, “mythology,” and folklore of every culture. It is only our modern American culture which makes perceiving these realities difficult. I know I’d have my inner and outer worlds better integrated if I lived in a less “civilized” tribe.)
In a way, this message shouldn’t be shocking to me, as I’ve entertained versions of this for years, and others have told similar stories. Still, I’m blown away to have heard it so clearly and powerfully, written it down, and recently felt called to post it. So, it is with a degree of discomfort that I follow through, trusting that it’s either true and useful to my readers, or will be useful to help us all understand eventually the nature of lies being fed to us by someone. You decide what this is:
June 22, 2012: Bad sleep the previous night, appearance of an odd bruise (photographed – and another photographed a few days earlier), and note in my journal, “Seems like stuff is happening” – my jargon for apparently other-dimensional intrusions in my life.
That evening, I was extremely tired, so I told Greg when we began to practice some of our music that as soon as the urge hit, I was going straight to bed. He promised to help by being as quiet as he could. When I retired to sleep at 8:30, he went outside to play his guitar and sing quietly in the dusk, fading light, and dark – til 10 pm.
Unable to sleep
I found myself adjusting and readjusting the covers, my pillow, and my body’s position for a minute or two, wondering why I was now so filled with energy. (Strange, but not uncommon when “things” happen.)
THE VISION: Event 1 – A Shadow
Suddenly I realized that I wasn’t feeling centered on my pillow – because my energy body seemed not to be centered in my physical body – it seemed offset to the left by about four inches!
As I tried to psychically pull myself together, I realized that the energy on my side was shadowy. Later, I’d wonder if the shadowy thing had been an intruder entering or a wounded part of me ready to leave, but at the time, I only perceived that it didn’t have much will to stay, so I wordlessly, psychically lifted it off, quite easily, gathered it up, and handed it off to angelic helpers. This seemed to take less than one minute, perhaps only seconds.
Event 2 – A Small, Robotic-like Being
Returning my perceptions to my body, intending to focus on relaxation, I next perceived an energetic little robot-like being the size of a pencil eraser, like a tin can in appearance with wiry arms and legs, bouncing around inside me chaotically.
Surprised, but able to turn to “shamanic” training to keep my cool, I swept him up rather easily and handed him off too. What did he represent?? I hadn’t the faintest idea. This, too, lasted less than one minute, perhaps only seconds.
Hoping that my energy would then be clear and I could go to sleep, I suddenly “saw” inside my head another tiny being perched in the center, midway between my ears, leaning over an orange bar that spanned the space between my inner ears!
My description of his appearance should not be taken literally, as a human brain acculturated to the “normalcies” of this Earth, cannot easily or clearly perceive things in other realms without “translating” them into more familiar terms matching this reality. This is why Native American prophets could only describe huge, silver flying “birds” (we now know as planes) and “giant spiderwebs” crossing the continent (phone and electrical wires).
Beyond the perceptual and linguist problem of translating visions of technology across hundreds of years, the problem of perceiving and describing experiences translated across different dimensions, of course, results in even greater distortions.
So please take my description with a few generous shakes of salt; I sense that my brain was overwhelmed, simply not hardwired to translate this sort of thing to contemporary American concepts, and needed to simplify – or else the being/s I spoke with created a very simple (and to my rational mind an embarrassingly simple) visual image to hold my attention.
In any case, I “saw” a tiny, half-inch high, stereotypically large-eyed, pointy-chinned “alien”-headed being with a stick-figure, primary orange in color – inside my head. My attention was fixed for what seemed like a couple of minutes, but was apparently engaged for much longer.
My rational mind immediately took stock: This was not my imagination. I’d been wide awake and still felt very much awake. My body and bed still felt very much there and related to each other tangibly. And everything was far too clear and events were moving way too fast and in directions I could never have anticipated or imagined. It did not feel like a dream, so I concluded I was having another extra-dimensional experience, which I sometimes called shamanic.
I was very surprised, even dismayed, by the cliche image, but it felt very compelling, not fearsome, so I let go this socially-driven assessment (of cliches and embarrassment) and turned my attention to it. (This rationally checking in took about two seconds, I’d guess.)
(Total perceived time since I lay down [I made notes about the experience, including my perceptions of time, immediately after the full experience]: about 4 minutes.)
The being looked directly at me and began communicating intently, at least partly in words (or else my brain translated his thoughts placed directly in my head).
At major junctures, he seemed to refer briefly to ideas I’d already entertained and then built on them.
The gist of his message was this: Those ideas you’ve been entertaining are right: Humans are a flawed design, but don’t feel bad about it, because so is everything.
Everything evolves and gets better. Nearly everything on your plane of life “goes extinct” in its various forms eventually.
It’s not a tragedy because everything also continues to live. It’s all how you look at it.
The genetics still exists. For instance, we can recreate the mammoth if we want. And some humans will survive, just not all of you as individuals.
The ending of an era is not a cause for grief. It’s just a fact of evolution. We’ll keep the best of you and recycle the rest.
There are a few reasons for this. One, the Earth needs to heal from the damage you’ve caused, just like a garden needs to have its spent plants turned under to replenish the soil. It’s not so much a time for grief, but for rest and renewal.
But it’s a little more urgent than that. The second reason for the transition is that your race is endangering not just life on Earth, but the stability of many adjacent dimensions with many other beings in them. We’ve done damage control around your war-making since the 1940s, but for the most part your race continues to get more destructive and dangerous. So, it’s a matter of self-protection on our part.
Third, genetic selection is our work.
Your race, as a whole, is clearly too violent and greedy, driven by excessive emotions. We’ve sent prophets to try to teach you to control your flaws, and we’ve even made genetic changes over the eons, but the emotional factors keep re-emerging and do a lot of damage.
The result of this violence of one human against another is that the majority of individuals are starving, poisoned, or psychologically damaged and are not healthy.
Many of you think the destruction can and should be prevented by “god” or “aliens,” but cycles of destruction and new creation are a fact of life on Earth. They have been described and foretold in every culture and time, so it should be understood. It only comes as a surprise to some because your culture relegated these stories to barely-tolerated “mythologies” which few have taken seriously.
No one will “burn in hell.” All will be recycled, just as all life on Earth has always been.
Some souls will return to the Creator-Mother-Father-Source to emerge in new forms, while others with enough soul integrity will evolve as some manifestation of their current selves – according to the integrity of their souls. This is not quite a Judgement Day as depicted by many religions, but simply a sorting out of what things are – the wheat separated from the tares, to use Christian imagery.
Some of your genetics will evolve. Those whose genetics have allowed them to live without excess greed or violence may continue to evolve in human-like bodies, some adapted to realms beyond Earth.
In addition, many of you have already been having your genetic material harvested (in activities you’ve called “abductions”) throughout your lives, which means that you have been chosen as genetic forebears of entire new races – though most of you have been unaware of it.
While we admire and have selected you for your genetics, many of you have objected to being treated like “breeding stock,” as if that’s a lowly thing, to be compared to cattle. This betrays your arrogance that has been part of the human problem. “All is God,” as many have said, including cattle, and you. It has been unfortunate that most of your leaders and teachers haven’t respected the whole of Creation and so you’ve looked down on and mistreated cattle.
Some of you also haven’t liked being kept amnesic when we took you to harvest sperm and eggs, but ours was a large operation, and many of those who have written critically about their treatment have not understood that when we did try to explain our program to a few humans, they were often very upset by the information, as it didn’t fit into their existing reality. Occasionally, when some human seemed able to handle the information, we dropped the amnesia bit by bit and shared as much as the person could handle. Often, it wasn’t much. And then when the information was accepted, if the person tried to share it, he or she was usually socially ostracized and suffered for that. So it never seemed worth indulging human curiosity. We’re sorry you took offense.
So while some of your progeny will survive as humans, a vaster number will be hybrid human-aliens, as you say, though this word alien is a major misconception.
The human has been a hybrid alien for a very long time. And we are all hybrids, from almost the beginning of time. So this hybrid program is not an affront to your sovereignty, as some would say. This is simply a continuing process of evolution. Life continues on as it always has. And all life is “sacred”: the worm, the cattle, the human, we overseers (your creators in a sense), and your hybrid progeny.
Apocalypse, you know, means revealing or unveiling – which is coming soon for everyone. Apocalypse does not mean catastrophe, but catastrophe will cause the apocalypse or time of seeing. People will require the “catastrophe” to wake to the larger reality of their existence. Chaos has always evolved those with more potential. This is because people can’t see or act when they are too comfortable or uncomfortable.
On your planet, the greed-inducing and fear-inducing rulers kept their populations in one of these states at all times, through economic pressures and rewards, but also by using other tools of control: entertainment, laws, prisons, education, chemicals, etc. For instance, most of the population, stressed economically into a state of bad health, is unable to respond when they sense a larger reality, and they generally chose to hypnotize themselves into quiet passivity. Others chose not to respond, distracted by the luxury of so many entertainments. Occasionally, when the balance of control mechanisms shifts enough to allow a population to rebel, rulers respond with prison and various tortures which drive the people back into silence.
Obviously, it’s not a pretty picture. It’s been directed by beings – not humans, but using human rulers as functionaries – who use human tendency to violence and are corrupting the potential of the human race, and thereby endangering dimensions beyond this Earth plane. It’s time for us to intervene.
For this reason, as we have explained to your “experiencers” or “abductees” many times, we have every right to protect ourselves and to remove our selected genetic stock and other planetary resources from the Earth before the catalyzing event. And it’s “for your own good,” though we know many will indignantly reject this. The alternative of protecting or rescuing the current regime, given that so few humans are given the opportunity to live meaningful lives and the whole planet and other dimensions are threatened, is simply not feasible. It’s time to clear the slate – the time of “harvest,” as Yeshua called it.
This message, not word-for-word, but delivered concept-by-concept, seemed to last just a few minutes at most.
Then I saw between my inner ears the orange bar the alien stood behind had four tabs rising up along its uppermost surface, evenly spaced across it. They were not fixed, as the tiny being pressed one tab forward, then another and another, till all four lay horizontally, top edges aimed toward my view.
When the fourth tab lay down, the ringing in my ears, which I’ve endured almost non-stop since November 2010, rose quickly to a volume just below my threshold of tolerance. With no small amount of anxiety, I immediately sought to stop it, first by “interior” action. But before I could act, I saw a spot in the tissue of my brain seeming to melt into a small crater.
My reaction to this is interesting to me now. On a rational level, I was shocked: a hole in the brain is not considered a good thing. On the other hand, I also know that the brain can heal, and when an old psychic wound dissolves, it can be healing, releasing lifelong phobias, hatreds, or other dysfunctionalities. I’ve also experienced my own “splits” heal as I’ve aged and then read theories that this comes (counter-intuitively) with natural aging deterioration. I also have a friend whose cruel father became gentle and sweet after a stoke. So part of me withheld judgement and simply watched in interest – after all, I was experiencing this entire vision non-judgmentally as, maybe, simply a metaphor, maybe a lie, best to take calmly, not fearfully. Finally, I’ve also known that my mind has been the receptacle for my programming, and thought that perhaps that melting away might be of some of that. And I’ve been having my “mind blown” for years, often resulting in broader visions of reality.
Besides, I couldn’t think rationally about anything because the ringing in my ears demanded attention. I began to pray and quickly felt myself “outgunned.” Other actions crossed my mind in an instant: energy work, shamanic ritual, sitting up to meditate and pray. But only one idea seemed hopeful in that moment: a hypnotherapy recording I had for relaxation and sleep.
I had just that week attempted to synchronize the recordings (mostly music) on my computer with my iPhone, and I hoped that a specific recording for sleep was on my phone. In the past year, I’d used an iPod – now not functioning – many nights for getting to sleep, plugging it into small speakers that reached to both ends of my pillow, so that part of the set-up was still in place; I just didn’t know if this piece of sleep help had made it to the iPhone. I retrieved it, turned it on, discovered my desired recording was not there, but there were four other hypnotherapy recordings to choose from. Three were for waking states which I didn’t want. Only one was a relaxation recording – but it was part of a Monroe Institute sales presentation I’d never listened to fully, afraid that it might contain mind control programming!
Having avoided recordings like these for years, despite intense interest in all they promised, I was now faced with a dilemma: to trust or not to trust. The ringing in my ears continued at such a pitch that I was very close to panic. Was I being driven to chose this recording in order to program me? Or would this calm me? I hardly felt I had a choice. I plugged it in (as I heard Greg enter and begin rummaging in the kitchen) and lay back on my pillow, melting into a submissive desire for anything to give me relief from the high-pitch noise.
I thought I’d skip past the sales part as soon as I’d gotten comfortable, but as soon as I’d done that, I found the recording so relaxing that I didn’t want to lift my head and search for the transition point in the recording. Besides, the sales talk was done respectfully and seemed interesting. I lay there, thinking it mildly humorous that I was listening to a sales pitch at a time like this, smelling popcorn wafting in from the next room, especially when, for at least a decade, I’ve avoided, for fear of subliminal programming from exactly such recordings as this. I was fully aware, that I might now be being healed, comforted, and relaxed for sleep, or programmed – but felt unable to chose otherwise.
As much as I wanted to be a strong warrior, it seemed impossible not to submit. Ralph Blum, in his Book of Runes, described “timely retreat” and submission as a skill of the spiritual warrior, and I accepted that this must be a time for it now. I also knew that while Geronimo chose to fight to the death, and Cochise chose to surrender, both leaders had been outgunned. Cochise had just accepted it sooner. I felt like Cochise, sad, but accepting.
My body relaxed and I noticed the sales pitch had come to an end. I had no idea when the high pitch had ended. Interesting, soothing sounds from the recording rolled into and out of my awareness in waves, until I lost consciousness or slept – it seemed, within twenty seconds (the recording, though, actually played for about ten minutes). I was out for the night.
The next morning I woke up refreshed and feeling wonderful.
I told Greg all I could remember before writing it down, and he listened, unruffled. Occasionally I tested him, asking his opinion of various aspects, hoping he didn’t think I was crazy. He assured me that, even though he doesn’t perceive these things, he fully believes in this sort of cosmic complexity and trusts my perceptions and my intellectual self-questioning and conclusions.
Then he mentioned having been outside, playing his guitar and singing, for an hour and a half before he came inside to make popcorn. My perception, though, was that all that had transpired until his entrance had seemed like ten minutes.
Thoughts about my failures to respect my own shamanic perceptions
I also returned to a major concern I’ve had about myself for a few years – making me wonder and worry how many times I might be re-taught certain “shamanic” lessons, the first ones (“kindergarten” I call it) being awareness, discernment, and protection. I’ve had the awareness for a long time but have worried (stupidly) that if I don’t have social credibility, then my efforts to write will be for naught. I explained more about kindergarten to Greg:
“It’s dangerous to be unaware, especially if one has a propensity for slipping over the edge into other dimensions – and I do that, or get dragged there.
“The second lesson is that some beings are allies, and some must be protected against, and we have to know the difference – that is discernment.
“The third component is protection from the problem beings.
“After that, one can focus on communication with the allies, but I am not sure I’ve even begun there. If I have, then I guess I’m amnesic for it – but that’s could just be hopeful thinking – unless my allies are keeping me amnesic for a positive purpose, which I think sometimes I understand, but again, this might just be hopeful.
“Mostly I think I’ve been a bad shamanic initiate. Again, I’ve excused myself with the idea that being a writer and communicator means I have to make sure that no one thinks that I’m crazy, or my communicating will be all for naught. So I’ve denied my own impulses many times, for the benefit of credibility, thinking it’ll all be worthwhile one day when I’m able to communicate across the gulfs of differing paradigms – which causes me to take these risks of forgetting my own spiritual perceptions sometimes.
“I feel as though I have always known I was taking this calculated spiritual risk, forgetting or ignoring my larger reality in the hopes I’d remember later and be better able to communicate about about it then to people who would believe me. But maybe this has just been an excuse I told myself to feel better about neglecting the perceptions that set me apart. And all the while I’ve been writing about not being in denial! And the result is that I’ve risked my soul lessons in protection and discernment. And now I don’t know the meaning of my ringing ears, implants, and night-time events of amnesia. Did all this happen because I didn’t learn my lessons to protect myself, or would it have happened anyway?
“The bottom line is that I’ve been a reluctant “shamanic initiate” and now – I assume because of this – I don’t know what the hell’s going on.
“When the volume was turned up in my ears, I couldn’t pray it away and just ran for a recording with who-knows-what on it!”
Experiencers often talk about “alien” technology used to induce cooperation. Perhaps no “warrior” response is possible under those conditions, except to submit. Enough of my spiritual regrets.
Assessment of the Message
First, I suspect: Was the message I received lies? Told by predators to prey? (Philosophically, I have to ask all questions.)
Or is a true description of Life and evolution? It feels true, and I’ve thought it before. Sometimes living beings really do have no choice but to submit and/or die. And every hero throughout time has been described in events when they were captured or put under a spell, immobilized until rescued, and eventually they did leave this Earth plane.
So I don’t feel too bad about submitting to the event and even believing the message.
My next day was extremely productive. My pain since mid-April, and especially the last few days, was mostly abated. And I accomplished everything I had hoped to accomplish – and more.
Many times I’ve wondered about Machaelle Small-Wright’s account (in Dancing in the Shadow of the Moon) of going back and forth, daily, to other realms, requiring lots of “body work” to handle the physical/spiritual shifts, including work to align her body, which resulted in neck and back pain. Could that be why my back and neck hurt so badly and explain the origin of my spine problem (otherwise unknown)?
I also have to repeat how grieved I am that I keep this major aspect of my life a secret and pretend socially that it’s insignificant. This pretense has a personal effect, and I fail to take the time to communicate with my Relations in the other dimensions with any discipline, almost as if saying: My Help knows where I am if they want to talk to me. Way too casual and dismissive. If I were one of my Relations, I’d be disappointed in me.
Maybe I’m somewhat afraid still, because my meditation attempts have for years been intruded upon by beings who don’t look like angels, but instead like aliens whom I want very much to avoid. I guess that’s my excuse: Having been invited into these trans-dimensional realities, I’ve been turned off by the beings I found there (was I only turned off because of entertainment disinformation?), and so I’ve remained just a little too ignorant to know how to assess this experience – at least with much confidence. I do have a personal opinion, but am not willing to say for certain what it means.
Overall, this last year has been wonderful – the best year I could have designed for myself on Earth. Nevertheless, I feel very ready to leave this planet. I accept that the Earth is threatened by the human condition, and other-dimensional beings are threatened by it too. And the some of those others are like gardeners, ready to plow things under, as is appropriate at the end of the season.
The amazing things that we’ve created will continue in another dimension or place: our music and art. And the technology was never really “ours,” but was given to us, so of course it will continue elsewhere too.
I don’t know if human futures will include going only into other dimensions, or if some possibilities might include continuing on a peaceful Earth. I’ve imagined this latter, hoping for it and preparing myself and others for it, but maybe it won’t be. I have no way of saying for certain, of course. I just keep having this feeling (not always, but sometimes) of going away soon – and feeling fine about it. It reminds me of the flashback I had in 1999 of leaving the Pleiades: there was a touch of melancholy, but mostly a positive anticipation of new things to come. For most of my life I’ve imagined and wished for a different society in which sharing is the norm, and creation of good for all is the primary activity, and fear is only a moment’s reaction, disappearing as all focus on a creative resolution. “There are more things in heaven and earth…than are dreamt of in your philosophy.” I do believe this.
Now it’s time for us to look and see – the meaning of apocalypse.
Here we go….