Instead I experienced what is typically described by shamans around the world: I was grabbed by demons, stripped, terrorized, brought to the brink of death repeatedly, dipped in shit, fooled, tricked, and laughed at. (All anthologies of shamanic lore recount a similar list of experiences.)
I’ve apologized for myself for decades now, explaining that I wasn’t properly socialized in the first place – and then I went through this. In the jungle, it would be understood. In America, it’s not. But here I am.