I am an educator on mind control, artist, author, publisher, mind-controlled “multiple personality” in healing, and activist working for the healing and human rights of mind control subjects.
To that end, I offer these pages of information – non-academic, easy-to-read – which touch on folklore, history, religion, spirituality, cosmos, and culture as they relate to mind control and multiple personality — along with my personal, on-going reports on the path to healing. Below is a 3-minute video, produced in 2010:
Is Multiple Personality Disorder “crazy”? Actually, it’s considered a creative solution, usually emerging accidentally in childhood, to keep from going crazy when experiencing something like torture. The vast majority of us experienced torture as children in one way or another.
Children under torturous conditions who don’t “leave their bodies” and dissociate, and the torture is repeated, usually become schizophrenic. So dissociation, MPD, is a blessing in disguise, as it’s fairly easy to heal (unless complicated by mind control); whereas, schizophrenia is considered incurable.
How it comes about, in simple terms: Under extreme stress, a person, especially a child, might “leave their body” to escape unbearable pain; the mind, however, keeps recording – now on a blank slate – which then becomes another personality. This creates a pattern in the person called dissociation; with ongoing stress, the pattern is repeated. (Today MPD is called Dissociative Identity Disorder, but many of us prefer the old term.)
How it comes about, in simple terms: Under extreme stress, a person, especially a child, might “leave their body” to escape unbearable pain; the mind, however, keeps recording – now on a blank slate – which then becomes another personality. This creates a pattern in the person called dissociation; with ongoing stress, the pattern is repeated. (Today MPD is called Dissociative Identity Disorder, but many of us prefer the old term.)
2012
2013
Being a multiple personality has not been easy, but it’s been far less difficult than typically depicted in books and movies, and in some ways, it seems to be an advantage: I have the capacity to manage a wide variety of mental tasks, as I seem to have a lot of “minds” holographically in my being. Managing them is the trick, and I have always done pretty well, most of the time. (At the bottom of this post are some of my accomplishments.)
The common perception of “multiples,” as being tragically out of their own control, is true for some, but many multiples are also very high-functioning, even testing at genius levels (as I have a few times), though they often have severe mental, psychological, emotional, and spiritual challenges — as readers of my book can appreciate.
Mind Control There’s also, obviously, a very serious downside to “multipleness,” which is that the people or groups who created my alters probably still have access to my programming and may continue to re-program me to use at will. When they do, I have bizarre perceptions, find wounds on my body, and afterward usually am severely depressed and sometimes emotionally incapacitated for extended periods of time.
Despite the foregoing, I must acknowledge the positive aspect of multiple-ness because it masks my disability. In other words, I look not only “sane” and “normal” nearly all the time, but sometimes exceptional; therefore, a person might ask, how could my crazy theory be true?
I also mention the positive aspect because it contains my hope for full recovery: Having the perspective of many minds, I have, since 1993, been working with my alters, untangling messes, and removing unwanted programs. It has taken time and emotional stamina, sometimes incapacitating me for mundane things, at which times, I have not appeared “exceptional” at all, but severely messed up. And I’m still not “one.” But, I’m working on it.
2013
Friends and acquaintances who know my story often don’t know what to make of it, because they rarely see the symptoms or don’t recognize them, so I’m accepted well enough in my community to be employed (when I want and am able) and have a wide circle of friends. Besides, so many people are struggling with something.
My hidden disability, though, makes it very hard to make a living, and I’ve been bailed out by my parents many times. Good therapists seem to be rare and hard to find, or else I’ve been controlled to avoid them, or they’ve been threatened by my controllers into avoiding treating me (commonly reported by others).
The worst of my experiences involving apparent mind control – that I recall – happened in 2010: I woke up extremely debilitated after a ten-hour sleep and found a third-degree Taser burn on my arm.
2014 This bruise showed up ten days after another very similar showed up on the back of my leg. No explanation except…
Much more is documented on this site, including weird bruises, apparent injection bruises (most common), a broken door lock, deep vaginal lacerations, biopsy “scoop marks,” and more.
Why am I not terrified? Well, I have been, and suicidal more times than I can count. But I’ve talked myself out of it. I’ve worked and prayed to try to understand our world, Good and Evil, the psyche and our power to navigate treacherous waters. And here I am.
Life has been moving on an upward course since I’ve been focusing my spiritual practice. I have a wonderful home and garden, lots of friends and friendly acquaintances, a supportive partner, enough work to pay the bills, and a satisfying artist’s life.
After 38 years of never singing in public (stage phobia related to mind control), in 2009 I began to sing publicly again – a most amazing breakthrough for my mind and psyche. And I’ve regained my ability to participate in life and see what Goodness I can add to our amazing human drama here.
And as a life-long activist for a variety of causes (saving mountains and downtown inner city schools, for instance), I now feel called to shine light on this criminal enterprise which steals people’s free will. I thank you very much for reading this far. I applaud your courage.
How do I really know I was a mind control subject? Check this page for a little bit more of my personal and family history.
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I pray the content here and in my book helps others trying to understand their own stories and heal.
My best advice after gathering information: Remember fear and anger are natural, but a stage to go through and to move beyond. Remember that everything Good in this world is stronger, eventually, than the Dark, and focus on that Good. And check out my pages on Healing!
If you believe in a benevolent Higher Power, by whatever name, connect, hold fast, communicate, listen, and keep the best possible vision in mind in order to generate a vibration sympathetic with the energies of the Higher Power.
Today I believe these experiences have blessed me with one other thing: greater awareness than I would ever have had of the larger realities of this world. Therefore, they are extremely important to my life. I do believe we have the power to survive, understand, and help things improve for each other.
I have no idea exactly how. I feel that everyone on this planet, though, is facing a huge cataclysm very soon, and our world will change in ways we are probably not prepared for, and our minds are probably not prepared for.
So it will require an especially flexible mind to survive the ontological shock I believe is coming. And those of us who’ve already been shocked out of our shoes – who knows? – we might find it easier to adapt and see and respond to what’s going on.
Ontological shock is the disorientation a person endures when deep foundations of their mental framework become shaken. It will change our entire meaning of life – and who we think we are as humans. (Sort of like many lifelong Catholics have been experiencing for a decade or more, or a married person feels when they discover their spouse is cheating, or a parent feels when a baby is born with a problem, or anyone feels when someone near them suddenly dies – but much bigger.)
Our current structure of thought will not survive the changes. Words will truly fail us. So it’s imperative we get our energies, our vibrations clear, to be able to trust our perceptions.
Blessings on you ~
(p.s. All these photos were taken in the last couple of years, though I often look decades different in age.)
More info
For more on how it feels – to me – to be a multiple personality, check out this page: Multiple-ness: What it Feels Like.
For a quick definition and overview of Mind Control – check out my page “Mind Control Defined.”
For links to some of my Healing posts, check out “Hope for Healing.”
And please remember to “Join/Listen!” (Button’s up top in the right corner.)
Off this site, WantToKnow.info has an excellent site with mainstream documentation on many controversial topics, including mind control.
Accomplishments:
Author: RattleSnake Fire: a memoir of extra-dimensional experience;
The 2013 or Year One Almanac, Datebook, and Journal;
the 2004 Almanac/Datebook/Journal for Southern Arizona;
the 2003 Almanac, Datebook and Journal for Tucson and Southern Arizona;
the international Permaculture Drylands Journal (associate editor, 1989-91);
and numerous articles and newsletters, including international publications.
Praise: “great literature….tour de force!….important historical document,” and more.
Awards in journalism (UPI First Place, Arizona-Utah region), creative writing, art, theater, videography, real estate, Permaculture, and national recognition for non-profit fundraising. Others: served in Leaders Circle of Tucson Resources for Women. Invited to Leadership Tucson and Mensa. Served on numerous local boards, twice as president.
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Thanks for visiting ~
So sorry I missed your last poll, Jean. Please accept my apologies. Life became very complicated. As it does from time to time, with or without added personalities!
Life seems to get complicated for me often! Apologies not needed! Appreciate your checking in! And commenting.
Hello! I have nominated your blog for the Liebster Award, you can check out the rules here:
http://cartervail.wordpress.com/2014/10/25/liebster-award/
Thank you, Carter! I accept!
Hi from another campus-raised kid 🙂 I love what I’ve read so far. Thank you for speaking on what can be a very complicated topic.
How did I miss replying to you all these months???!! Oh well, we can guess. Thank you, Beyond. I’m going to go visit your site again now. Blessings on you.
Also, I’ve done some major overhauling. There is lots more information more accessible here now. Hopefully helpful!
“Campus-raised kid”?! Piques my curiosity!
Please remind me (in a private email if you prefer) to what you refer, and a webpage if you explain it there. i can guess, but I’d love to revisit your blog to remember better.
In support ~
Hello Jean, I like many, for whatever personal reason(S) stumbled upon your video, actually it was Laura who posted it recently and I was drawn in by the information. I listened to many of the videos you have posted and subsequently ordered and am in the process of reading Rattlesnake Fire (on Page 199) having had a prior read of Access Denied Cathy O’Brien. I often take large breaks in between reading this material, or order to maintain some kind of normalcy. Today I have been triggered by a recent new work relationship and am really feeling the energies very strongly and have some concerns. I understand that you likely may not be available for a phone conversation and I understand why. If this the case, please let me know. Thanking you in advance, peace, warmth and respect your way, Julie
I would really like to get to the bottom of my ongoing issues and am seeing a very good therapist, however, I don’t think we are gettting there. Any suggestions, been working on this a very long time, as in my whole life.
Thank you for writing, Julie. (Laura who? posted my video? Laura Eisenhower? just curious.)
I also often need to take breaks from thinking about this stuff and just try to keep grounded in “normal” life (in an insane culture), and I think that’s true for most of us.
I have been turning down requests to talk by phone, especially when I’m feeling as weak as I am right now. I’ve spent a lot of money on therapists and often get the feeling that they’re getting a very good education with me, but I’m not getting much from them, so I quit. I’m now considering working with a medicine person, on the theory that each of our alters may be inhabited by controlled spirits, which might be released by one with shamanic vision and power.
Wish I had more to offer, but I really think it’s just up to each of us to find our own way through, as I think each of us is a special case with our own special psychology and unique place in our healing. I do believe prayer and spiritual relationship is important too.
I’ll remember you. And if/when I feel more able to offer something, I’ll contact you. And you’re welcome to write me again. Peace and healing ~ Jean
Jean, thank you so much for your promt and succint reply. It feels like an important day of introspection and please know that your reply is indeed very helpful, warm, truthful and applicable to my current situation. I will finish your book soon and continue to stay tuned in. I have worked with Shamans as well as spiritual mentors/healers…I am my own best helper. I have the truth inside me. I have been putting things together for years, its becoming oh so clear…Awareness is important and heals the mind. Blessings to you.
Yes it was Laura Eisenhower who posted it!
I’ll have to thank Laura.
Thanks, “Survivor” (Dan), for your understanding and wise words. I do hope that everyone understands that we have been given this situation, and we’re the ones who need to learn to deal with it – though help and advice from others is important too.
I respect your urge to want to fight for others; obviously (by your career), this is a trait of yours, to defend others.
My torments are not “hourly” though. Lately, after having put it aside, things are quite fine and I am living a normal life again. Many of us enjoy these reprieves, which can go on for weeks or months. And we look forward to the day the reprieve will be permanent.
Peace, Light, and Evolution ~
Jean
Hi Jean,
Sgt Dan MacBolen III USAF(dav) here. I forgot to ask your permission to add you to my long list of the Seven Steps of Effective Prayer… Will you give me your permission to pray for you? I promise to send you love & light from the Ultimate Creator…
Love & Light,
Dan
Hi Dan, Thank you very much for asking. And I hope you will not take this wrong, but will appreciate my wariness and example.
I just read your prayer today on Sarah Stanga’s site and have copied it to my computer, and had even intended to include it (with attribution to you) in a blog I just posted, but “forgot” or some part of me thought my blog was long enough. So I hope you’ll hear these words of respect and appreciation.
However, knowing how these sites are infiltrated by Others, and not really knowing you, I’d prefer to set the example of not giving permission. I feel that, given my circumstances, giving permission to a stranger to pray specifically for me is not a wise idea. Others might think I’m silly or rude, but I trust you understand.
One of the things I believe we need to do is practice protection and even wariness – at least for a time. Perhaps later I’ll feel differently.
I have no gut feelings that you are anything but a kind, wise, and generous person – and for that I thank you very much. (I do believe in the power of prayer, but also believe that we all need to learn to do it for ourselves.)
In Love and Light, Jean
Hi Jean,
I agree completely…without knowing more about you, I would not have the wisdom to pray for you in an unbiased way, so I understand completely. I forget myself, that specific knowledge is needed for specific situations, and my request was for a more general protection type bubble. I’m very upset, that MILABS and others have our ignored free-moral agency. With the type of MILABS indicators & warnings, such as you have…i.e. scoop marks, and very tail-tell signs of Humbred intrusion into your life, I sometimes, allow myself, to get enraged at what they do to us.
When I was slack in my duties as far as praying for protection from these type of creatures, I got a wake-up call… I was taken & raped repeatedly. So that got my attention, as the damage was severe enough to really get my attention…so I have a tendency to be aggressive when it comes to protecting others… The evidence of what you have presented, along with some of the photographic evidence of what James Rink has suffered, causes me distress.
And I must admit, enraged at what they have been doing to us, as I thought I had troubles…You & James are suffering these things hourly at times…These evil individuals MUST be stopped, and I see no other way then bringing in heavy-duty, higher-dimensional beings to deal as harshely with these MILABS, as abusive as they are being to you guys.
In restrospect, I am again reminded, that Free-Moral Agency is the number one Universal Law….and until you know me better…thanks for keeping my feet on the ground… I do get ahead of myself, and totally agree that, not everyone you meet is gentle, loving & lovable…these are the attributes that I hope to live out in my life and to be.
Good common sense is what you are practicing, & please forgive my hastiness in wanting to spread an umbrella of Light & Love, when you are so very much just as capable of this as I am…(I get emotional, when I sense the pain of others and become enraged easily….working on this character flaw, as I know what it’s like to be under the abuse of these forces).
So until you request specific or general prayer from me for you…I remain hopeful, but you exercising your free will….hooyah…and I am grateful for your comments and invite your suggestions in future… This type of secretized torture, has gone on far too long, and I struggle with my inner self, on wheither to strike these forces down in wrath, or do what is right…love them until they succumb to Love itself…
Thanks again…Love & Light to you & yours…
Sgt DBM III USAF(dav)
USAP-DOCC Survivor
Jean
Very astute answers by you. The questions you just pose are addressed by Graham. Give his book a chance. It seems that there are both benevolent and malevolent beings out there. One of the more amazing things seems to be that relationships are created between the beings and shamans or others that actually teach us. I think if you read his book it may help you work through that issue. Graham Hancocks work is very in depth and thoughtful. He asks and seeks answers for the very things you also ask. His newest book “entangled” was not his idea but given to him through his contacts with the ancient teachers.
I wish you well and hope you find peace. I actually personally know victim of MK ultra programming. So i have somewhat of an understanding of your situation.
Peace to you
Phil
Thanks, Phil. I’ve got the page up, ready to purchase, as soon as I decide whether I want the paperback or audio book.
Almost two years have gone by since your advice to read Graham Hancock’s Supernatural. I’ve read it twice and find it extremely valuable, though I take exception with one thing, quite major: He lumps together all aliens in one category. I think this is a serious error on his part, probably stemming from the fact that he’s working with other people’s accounts, not his own experience, and dismissing those that don’t fit his theory. I believe there are many different aliens/extra-dimensionals/extra-terrestrials interacting with humans, and it’s very important to distinguish their motives. Thanks, Phil.
Jean
I am very new to your site. I just now discovered it. What prompts this message is your comment on receiving help from extra dimensional beings. It is almost like i was just now led to your site. I have just been reading a book titled “Supernatural, Meetings with the ancient teachers of mankind” by Graham Hancock. If you have not read this i would highly recommend it to you. It covers exactly what you describe. I will be reading and watching your videos soon, as i am very aware of Mkers and “supernatural” has opened up the realm of ED assistance to me.
Good luck and best wishes.
Phil
I’ll have to get that book. I’ve watched Graham Hancock interviewed by David Wilcock last year, and felt almost like I didn’t need to read his stuff because I “already knew” what he was writing. (Certainly an overstatement, but protecting myself from too much reading demands – or preventing me from reading something that would help me immensely?)
I’ll give him another look because I’d like another take on this.
The biggest question of all this for me is whether these “ancient teachers” are all benevolent or not. They may have been our creators, but they could also be our controllers. Calling them teachers may be acknowledging a reality and at the same time putting ourselves in subjection to beings that only want to enslave us. Actually, I think this creator/teacher relationship has been played out on Earth in a variety of ways, some of which we call evil, and some of which has been benevolent – but I don’t know. It may simply be my philosophical attempt to incorporate all the ancient teachings of which I’m aware and keep an open mind while I ponder the ramifications of who’s who and what they’re up to. I think there’s history to argue all sides. Other opinions?
Thanks, Phil.
Jean
I bought the book, read it voraciously until finished, and liked it very much – pretty much confirming things I’ve concluded, but with more color and detail – so thanks!
And anyone else uncertain about the multi-dimensional realities might enjoy this book which ties together ancient history, most religion and all sort of contemporary “weirdness” – things aren’t really so weird, except that we’ve been trained and educated to believe they are.