“And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”
— Friedrich Nietzsche
Two weeks ago, I gazed for too long into Nietzsche’s abyss, and it gazed back at me.
I’d compiled a summary of my anomalous experiences of the last 18 months, and realized they contained many more events than I’d realized – so much that it was a severe shock to my psyche – and I hadn’t even remembered all the events.
Before the first week was over, I discovered a new strange bruise on my arm, which I ignored, but later it faded to two little dots, like the Taser burn dots.
…[too many old, miserable details deleted]
… the purpose of this essay:
We in healing must ride a fine balance between denial (which keeps us from awareness and healing) and obsession (which can capsize us with fear and despair).
My second point: My deepest despair is usually followed by a break-through.
The night before our singing success, I’d prayed to be healed, and implied that if something wasn’t done, I might not believe anymore in any Help or any moral reason to keep on living under my circumstances.
In the morning, I felt more rested than I had in a long time, though “something still seems to be hovering nearby, but I’m just gonna choose not to think about it – I don’t have the energy to.”
Either my prayers were answered, or my decision to “not look” was the significant act.
One of those, or both, may have been the catalyst for the end of the weeks of horror.
Conclusion: Learn to connect with your multi-dimensional self – which understands that Help exists in dimensions outside our normal Earthly awareness. And learn to be aware of – without focusing on – the Dark stuff.
Mastering this, we’re ready to begin dismantling our programs.
I just discovered another excellent essay about healing on the survivorship site: http://www.survivorship.org/resources/articles/programming.html
It also contains suggestions that reiterate what I’m saying here about “moving on,” not focusing on the Dark, along with specific work to begin the dismantling.
And here is a classic piece of work about our healing, by DC Hammond, a progressive psychologist who, in 1992, forced the APA to listen to about this stuff. It’s practical.
Light-filled power to you!