Just watched a video featuring Mayan elders discussing the 2012 prophesies.

Even though I enjoy acting as though I believe something dramatic will happen, maybe even on the 21st, I am also ready for positive change to be gradual and take work.

After all, 2012 is the mid-point of a prophesied 40-year period of change.  So, the transformation could be gradual over these 40 years, of which we’re now crossing the center, or it may be dramatic.  We don’t know.

The Mayan elders say it could be either – depending on our actions.

The most important actions the elders urge us to take are 1) spiritual devotion, 2) avoiding fear, anger, and other sorts of negativity, which escalate upon themselves, 3) be responsible to our missions for having been born, whether the work is large or small, and 4) work to correct the mistreatment of the Earth and all Life.

Those who’ve experienced mind control or mysterious injuries in the night or in amnesic episodes might have trouble with the second point, avoiding fear.  I certainly have.

But I realize now that even these fears can be “reframed.”

It’s been a little over two years since the last particularly difficult episode in my life (see 18 months of Weirdness), and in that time I’ve worked fairly hard to put it all in perspective.

I still don’t know who did those things to me, don’t know the purpose, or the ultimate meaning.  But that doesn’t mean I have to be suicidally terrified of it.  And terror doesn’t serve me.  So, awhile back, I decided to just not be afraid; it wasn’t getting me anywhere.

And life has gotten amazingly better.  I feel as good as I’ve ever felt in my life, though I still have a hard time holding onto a sense of time unless I write things down, which I do.   And sometimes I have a deep-gut feeling that something happened in the night, or I have a scoop of flesh missing from somewhere and have no idea when it happened, but I don’t get afraid, or haven’t recently.  And this has made a profoundly powerful change in my life.

I’ve started thinking of these mystery energies as similar to bothersome mosquitos, or viruses, or bacteria, or other invisible tormentors or parasites that are good to avoid:  They’re real, not imaginary.  They’re to be avoided.  But they’re not evil.

If we can learn to protect ourselves from them, then we will have evolved.  Same as when we evolve to understand and protect ourselves from other bothersome or deadly threats.

They probably do have an “agenda,” but so do viruses.  Just because we don’t understand it doesn’t mean we should accept the common terrifying explanations given which make us want to commit suicide over the fact that we’ve been attacked and don’t understand.  It’s self-defeating.

Better to respond like a warrior.  Look, gather resources, learn.

Now when something happens, I think, “Oh, there’s something I don’t understand again,” and don’t give it much more attention than that.  I try to remember to log the events in my journal, hoping to eventually to see a pattern and understand.  Meantime, I keep an open mind.  In short:  No fear.

I’ve even been trying to work with the “All is Good” philosophy, seeing if I can stretch it to include mind control, torture, the child sex industry, which, philosophically seems impossible.  Actually, it’s my cynical antagonism toward religion which brings me here, but I try to be fair and try it out:  The only argument I could posit results in this question:  Is it possible that these horrors are the only ways in which we humans, individually, collectively, spiritually, can learn certain lessons for our evolution?  Is it possible that, in this way, all this horror is good?  I don’t know.

Maybe I only entertain such ideas because otherwise the things would be too frightening for me to endure.  But the fact is that I do feel like an incredibly strong individual, and I think a lot of my strength has come from what I’ve endured.  Does that make the horror good?

I also believe that my fractured mind has actually multiplied my capacity for mental work.

And leaving my body so often as a child, because of torture, has contributed to my ability to see in other dimensions more readily.

So if these horrors could have what we’d call these positive “side effects,” and I’m willing to philosophically allow that I might not know what is a side effect compared to a main effect, maybe All is Good.

I don’t know.  But this philosophical game, allowing me to drop my fear, helps me stay in the big Game.

We don’t understand this multi-dimensional world, but it’s changing swiftly.  And more and more people are beginning to admit to experiencing the world differently, and one day, maybe soon, we won’t be so alone with what we’ve seen.

Meantime, I reserve judgement.  I admit I don’t know what’s happening.  But I have feelings about it – good ones, rather than the fear that used to overtake me.

I remember images I’ve seen – of spiritual warriors like Gandalf , Jason with Medea, or archangels, fighting calmly, with focus, giving no fear energy to the dangers which are very real and often beyond the understanding of others.  Willing to look the challenge squarely in the eye, not denying, not fearing, but responding with whatever power they have.

I feel as though, dropping fear, I’ve made a major step forward in my soul’s training.

Fear doesn’t serve us except in an instant.  Beyond that, it’s toxic.

So:  No fear.  Be responsible.  Develop your spiritual practice.  Respect the Earth and all life.

We can do that.

And play our roles in healing this mess.

Blessings, All.