I woke this morning with the conviction that I could not heal with an audience, because if I begin to report success, our adversaries (undoubtedly monitoring this blog) will have to intervene.  (We all know this.)  Therefore, I believe I need to take a break (or quit entirely?) and just post now what I think are key ingredients for a chance to heal.

I described some healing basics in an earlier blog, but I want to add or emphasize three key elements here.

1) Since our dissociativeness (multiple personality) makes us “forget,” it’s imperative to use a single journal (not a few, like I used to do) and to re-read it regularly, summarizing things occasionally, and maybe putting them on a calendar to look for patterns.  This satisfies our need to understand rationally and is probably necessary to understand and heal our mental fractures.

2) Since this is a multi-dimensional world and our mind control utilizes “spirituality,” and spirituality and multiple dimensions are both basically concepts of energy perception, it is also imperative that we become students of energy, beginning with understanding, noticing, and tracking the energy changes in our own bodies.  For me, this makes prayer and meditation a more tangible, active, “real” experience.  I believe – for me, at this stage of things – it is the most important key to spiritually protecting myself and beginning to heal.

3) While we sometimes need to give ourselves time to break down and go deep into grieving, we also need to take time to strengthen the rest of ourselves – the parts of us that love to cook, socialize, garden, dance, sing, or whatever – and that means we have to “forget” this stuff now and then.

Now, I realize this might seem to only encourage our splittedness, but since our splittedness has been used against us for so long and by others, I see no reason to not use it for our good – for whatever periods of time we need to build strength.  Everything in nature flows and evolves in rhythms, and we must give ourselves permission to bloom when we can.

So, while I had intended to track my healing with weekly reports on into an unknown future, I think I must stop after just these two – for the reasons I state above, plus the fact that responding (as carefully and laboriously as I do) takes a lot of time and emotion, which is not sustainable at this rate, even though it’s rewarding to me and, I believe, useful others.

And so:  I will be “signing off” for awhile.  As I wrote in Comments on the last blog, responding to Artemesia, I am feeling much more empowered and want to leave you (for awhile) with that.

I’m also feeling I need to do my next phase of healing work with no “audience” (even though last week I thought readers were essential), for the reasons I’ve already stated, as well as because sometimes I think it’s best to take things lightly.

“Lightly?” you demand?  (I would.)  Yeah, it seems crazy to suggest taking mind control healing lightly.  I know.  I know.  But taking it seriously doesn’t work either; at least no one yet has blogged about how they’ve done it with serious focus.

Just the opposite.  Most every writer on this topic has either shut up, died, or been mercilessly harassed.  So, it seems we are being forced to go this path alone and not try to help each other, at least not in such a public forum as this.  Simple reality.

Without the ongoing give-and-take of an audience (though essential in the last few weeks), I think I’ll be better able to “take things lightly” when it is my season to do so, and work on healing with more energy when it’s time.

At some point, I’ll blog again.  (Already I feel a couple blogs emerging, not timely, but general.)

As for the harassment, I’m going to keep documenting it for myself, maybe here, but I’m going to do everything in my power to not give it too much of my life energy – which may be their purpose!  I’m going to try to say to myself, “Oh, those guys, trying to get my attention again, trying to get me off track,” and then just get back on the track I was on.

Will I be able to do it?  We’ll see.

I envision my life proceeding like this:

Daily meditations on my energy, remembering my own power, learning more about it, increasing its strength, connecting only to spirit help which I know deep in my heart is my tribe and only watching or ignoring the rest (and protecting myself from it, when necessary).

Devote myself to my community, by supporting local farmers and food producers, offering solar ovens and passive solar consulting, singing, gardening, and being a friend.

Then, during periods when I’m strong, I’ll approach healing again.  I know they want to stop me from this, and that’s the reason (at least one of the reasons) for their regular harassment – to knock us down and keep us from having the strength to go there.  But hopefully, I can persevere anyway.

Anyone mind a “positive spin” on this?

“What!?” you say….  I know, but I think of this frequently and want to write it today:

I often think that we MK subjects (or at least those of us aware and struggling) are in a better position than the masses of humanity, at least the masses of “Americans.”  The masses are hypnotized in front of their televisions, going to jobs they hate, drugging themselves to keep going (okay I do that sometimes too), but accepting all the stupid, irresponsible, abusive (slave-making) elements of our culture.

We, on the other hand, do not accept these things, because we see the lies.  So, regardless that we suffer such pain, I’d rather be in my situation than chatting mindlessly about my recent purchases at the mall and what was on TV last night.  I think there’s a whole lot more hope for us.  I know we are more compassionate people.  So, whatever we go through, I’m grateful that I’m awake.

And even though our cure still seems illusive, I know I am (and you are) more alive than most.  And I’m grateful.  So very, very grateful.

Now, I’m setting off to create community and beauty in any way I can.

Adios for now.

And peace ~

Jean